And Jerry Mathers as . . . oh wait, no, never mind
January 14, 2020 9:31 AM   Subscribe

Supercut of every guest star on the 1970s TV series Cannon, ever. James Olson, Burr deBenning, Lee Purcell, Clu Gulager, Louise Latham, Anne Francis, Val Avery, James Hong, and more! So many worried/ suspicious/angry/alarmed/searching/ perplexed/concerned faces, except Leslie Nielsen, who clearly was destined for a comedy career.

Bonus 70s content: this election cycle is going to suck really hard; watch Columbo instead, repeatedly if necessary.
posted by holborne (82 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
Okay all you MSTies out there, get out your actor bingo cards. You'll likely hit the jackpot less than five minutes in.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 9:43 AM on January 14 [5 favorites]


Whoa. #CannonSoWhite
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:47 AM on January 14 [4 favorites]


This is mesmerizing. Definitely my new party TV wallpaper.
posted by rock swoon has no past at 9:48 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Oh god, the show that was on at that weird time on some random channel when I was bored in college and we didn't have the internet. I have seen every episode, I think.
posted by BlahLaLa at 9:54 AM on January 14


I cannot thank you enough for this.
posted by SoberHighland at 9:57 AM on January 14 [1 favorite]


They all look so tired.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:59 AM on January 14 [5 favorites]


Okay, I just finished it. So many familiar faces (multiple, multiple times). The repeater that stuck out to me was Bradford Dillman (MST index: The asshole captain in "Lords of the Deep"). I just finished watching two movies in a row with him and it strikes me the man never played a character you didn't want to punch in the face immediately.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 10:07 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


And all in one episode. That would make for an EPIC whodunit.
posted by hal9k at 10:09 AM on January 14 [3 favorites]


Cannon vs. Banacek!
posted by clavdivs at 10:14 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Martin Sheen!
posted by dismas at 10:16 AM on January 14


(at least twice! And Jessica Walter!)
posted by dismas at 10:18 AM on January 14


Came to check for Dabbs Greer. Was not disappointed.

And 'Dan Travanti'!
posted by zaixfeep at 10:21 AM on January 14 [1 favorite]


Cannon vs. Banacek!

One of my current ambitions is to write a fanfic explaining how the A-Team managed to live underground in LA for so long: Hannibal Smith made a ton of money in the 1970s, as he spent most of that time working incognito as a high-priced insurance investigator for the Social Register set in Boston.
posted by holborne at 10:23 AM on January 14 [4 favorites]


Special guest star... one or two black people ever.

A Quinn Martin Production.
posted by pracowity at 10:26 AM on January 14


Sorrell Booke (Boss Hogg from the Dukes of Hazzard) at 0:36! Right out of the gate!
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:27 AM on January 14 [3 favorites]


Special guest star... one or two black people ever

Sorry, folks. Cannon is cancelled!
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:30 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Is there Robert Culp? Otherwise not interested.

Also there were a fair number of Black guest stars on Streets of San Francisco -- another Quinn Martin joint. But only Starsky & Hutch was reliable.

Why yes, yes I am procrastinating. Why do you ask?
posted by allthinky at 10:38 AM on January 14


There is not Robert Culp. However, he plays three different villains in -- yes, you guessed it -- Columbo.
posted by holborne at 10:40 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


this is making me sad that the very low-rent "best columbo endings" youtube video i once found has been taken down
posted by dismas at 10:43 AM on January 14


Fans of Quin Martin Productions and bizarre Chris Elliott comedy might appreciate watching his weirdo TV special from 1986 called "Action Family." CW: it's not entirely politically correct, and pokes fun at some tropes from the '70s cop show era. But the gist is that it's a mashup between a Brady Bunch style sitcom and a hardboiled QM Production.
posted by SoberHighland at 11:14 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


William Windom and BarBara Luna in the first few minutes to satisfy the Star Trek fans.
posted by hanov3r at 11:15 AM on January 14


Viper from Top Gun right out of the gate.
posted by HillbillyInBC at 11:23 AM on January 14


Viper from Top Gun right out of the gate.

That's Captain Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest from M*A*S*H, surely.
posted by hanov3r at 11:27 AM on January 14 [1 favorite]


About 10 minutes in, I keep expecting the guy from Too Many Cooks to show up and start murdering everyone.
posted by m2ke at 11:27 AM on January 14 [15 favorites]


(re William Windom: I'm still super bummed that the role of Commodore Decker was originally supposed to go to Robert Ryan, but he wasn't available.)
posted by holborne at 11:29 AM on January 14


Viper from Top Gun right out of the gate.

That's Captain Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest from M*A*S*H, surely.


Dallas. The man's name is Dallas.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 11:30 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Viper from Top Gun right out of the gate.
That's Captain Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest from M*A*S*H, surely.
Dallas. The man's name is Dallas.


Excuse me. Are you talking about Evan Drake?
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:44 AM on January 14 [1 favorite]


About 10 minutes in, I keep expecting the guy from Too Many Cooks to show up and start murdering everyone.

Hah, my dad and I were watching "Once Upon a Time...In Hollywood" last night, and he mentioned that Tarantino likely didn't use the actual full intro for the show "F.B.I." since everyone old enough to see a million Quinn Martin shows probably also saw Police Squad! and therefor would just be hearing "..IN COLOR!" in their heads and be thinking of Leslie Neilson and Alan North (and Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln) since Police Squad! just nailed that intro parody so well.

I guess for us younger folks, we see Too Many Cooks rather than Police Squad!
posted by sideshow at 11:50 AM on January 14 [3 favorites]


There were three Van Pattens in three different episodes--Dick, Joyce, and Vincent. Joyce had one of the best guest appearances on Columbo as a nun at a soup kitchen who tries to take away Columbo's terrible coat and replace it with a better one.

Also, there was apparently a cross-over episode with Barnaby Jones because two guest stars were Buddy Ebsen and Lee Meriwether. Both Trapper Johns appeared (Wayne Rogers and Pernell Roberts). So many familiar names and faces, and quite a number of Columbo guest stars, including my favorite murderer (3 times) Jack Cassidy.
posted by ceejaytee at 11:53 AM on January 14 [3 favorites]


After some consideration, I'm going with Jim Davis at 8:35 in the video getting the best clip. It's a tough call of course, with so many great choices, running the gamut from slightly annoyed, vaguely pleased, somewhat surprised, to blankly attentive, mixed in with the occasional slight turn of the head or shift in the eyes towards the screen, Davis' subtle eye widening upset really stands out from the crowd. (I of course discounted Morgan Paull's clip for being the only one shown in movement driving a vehicle, as that's a directorial choice, not an actorly decision.)

On the down side, Kaz Garas and Frank DeKova are completely ripped off by not even getting clips, just still shots from their episodes. They should be rightly irked by that slight if intentional, but perhaps they were booked on Barnaby Jones later that week and didn't have time to make proper clips, in which case it's only we the audience that suffers.

And Joan Fontaine? She kinda sticks out from the rest, even Anne Baxter and Martin Sheen don't quite match her history outside TV.
posted by gusottertrout at 11:57 AM on January 14 [1 favorite]


There's a *ton* of Columbo crossover in Cannon -- Joyce Van Patten, Antoinette Bower, Val Avery, James Olson, Tim O'Connor, Paul Stuart, Richard Kiley, Anne Francis, etc etc etc. I'm actually kind of surprised Cassavetes' entire crew didn't show up on Cannon too.
posted by holborne at 11:58 AM on January 14


Both Trapper Johns appeared

Trappers John, surely.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:02 PM on January 14 [25 favorites]


I also gotta wonder if that is the entirety of the guest star clips, since I can see some guest stars aren't mentioned like Leif Garrett, Shelly Duvall, or Paul Michael Glaser. Hutch gets a special clip but not Starsky? That's just sad.
posted by gusottertrout at 12:04 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


They all look so tired

It was the 70s. We all drank/smoked/took drugs/had unprotected sex, mostly to excess. Also factor in the majority of us had to get up and walk to the TV in order to change the channel from an Aaron Spelling produced show to a Quinn Martin produced show.

It truly was an exhausting decade!
posted by bawanaal at 12:20 PM on January 14 [15 favorites]


Dabney Coleman appears at 11:12 or so. Weird; I assumed he had been sixty his whole life.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:23 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


exact same for Jessica Walter, first saw her in Arrested Development like twenty years ago so she's always been sixty plus.
posted by Sauce Trough at 12:25 PM on January 14 [1 favorite]


Tim O'Connor got a ton of work on this show but he'll always be Earth Defense Directorate's Dr. Huer to me.
posted by Sauce Trough at 12:34 PM on January 14 [3 favorites]


The '70s was a grimy, sweaty decade.
posted by SoberHighland at 12:35 PM on January 14 [3 favorites]


I watched so much crap in the 80s as a little kid. So many of those people I recognize, but couldn't put a name to. Can't get sucked in...
posted by Fukiyama at 12:36 PM on January 14 [1 favorite]


I think part of the tired, sweaty look was these shows were cheaply produced, and people watched them on crappy TVs, so looking top-notch just wasn't a priority. No one foresaw these things remastered into glorious HD and viewed on 65" OLED TVs with stereo sound.
posted by SoberHighland at 12:39 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Also, there was apparently a cross-over episode with Barnaby Jones because two guest stars were Buddy Ebsen and Lee Meriwether.

There's a *ton* of Columbo crossover in Cannon


Does that make both Barnaby Jones and Columbo...

*removes sunglasses*

Cannonical?
posted by hanov3r at 1:40 PM on January 14 [3 favorites]


A quick google didn't turn up the name of that narrator, and given this is 25 minutes of him, I feel he deserves a credit.
posted by mikelieman at 1:47 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


IMDB lists the announcer as Hank Simms, who has a raft of announcing credits to his name.
posted by hanov3r at 1:57 PM on January 14 [3 favorites]


Also, there was apparently a cross-over episode with Barnaby Jones because two guest stars were Buddy Ebsen and Lee Meriwether.

Barnaby Jones was a spinoff of Cannon. Frank Cannon appeared in the first Barnaby Jones episode, and the two stars often appear on each other's shows.
posted by hanov3r at 2:02 PM on January 14 [1 favorite]


some of these folks, okay, you might not remember they were on another episode, but i don't believe for a SECOND you're gonna forget Tom Skerritt's mustache
posted by dismas at 2:11 PM on January 14


I can't believe I watched the whole thing. On slow wifi, too. Seems like you could get a job as a middle-aged actor back in the 70s.

I'd love to see a supercut of The Love Boat's guest stars. That would be fun!
posted by vivzan at 3:05 PM on January 14 [1 favorite]


25 minutes (!!!)

And not the Richard O'Brien I know
posted by mazola at 3:46 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


I turned on closed captions and quickly became mesmerized; I'm trying to figure out who are 'no pit lake' and 'leave her cell'.
posted by namret at 3:49 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


William Conrad! The original radio Matt Dillon, and the voice of the narrator in Rocky and Bullwinkle!

Nice to be reminded of these actors, sad how few of them aren’t white guys. Enjoyed seeing ubiquitous faces (Peter Haskell, Richard Kiley, Bradford Dillman) along with more obscure ones: Collin Wilcox-Horne (the plaintiff in To Kill a Mockingbird), Gary (2001) Lockwood, John (Animal House) Vernon, Murray (Jaws) Hamilton.

David (Bewitched) White! Stefanie (Girl from UNCLE) Powers! Monte (The Second Hundred Years) Markham!

Great fun. Watching was like eating popcorn. Thanks for posting, I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would which says more about my age than anything else...
posted by kinnakeet at 4:08 PM on January 14 [6 favorites]


I kept going “that guy! that guy! her! the boss from CHiPS! Dean Wormer!”

Denver Pyle without facial hair broke me, though.
posted by Guy Smiley at 4:15 PM on January 14 [1 favorite]


I'm trying to figure out who are 'no pit lake'

That'd be Noam Pitlik, mostly known for (a) directing 102 episodes of "Barney Miller" and (b) having a surname that greatly amuses juvenile watchers of "Barney Miller" in the 70s. Source: I am a former child.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:24 PM on January 14 [5 favorites]


So many turtlenecks.
posted by mmb5 at 4:48 PM on January 14


and every damned one of them came to Hollywood with a dream which probably didn't involve being a guest star on Cannon. Not even a special guest star. And these are the successful ones.

I think if I was teaching an acting course, I'd make this required viewing.
posted by philip-random at 4:59 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


I'm trying to figure out who are 'no pit lake'

That'd be Noam Pitlik,


Fun Fact: Noam's brother, Mxyz Pitlik, moonlighted as a supervillain who messed up Superman real good a few times.

And he had a wife, you know. You want to know her name? It's Incontinentia. Incontinentia Pitlix!
posted by zaixfeep at 5:01 PM on January 14 [3 favorites]


…͙̩͎͉̠̟a͍̩̦̩̦͟ͅņ̮̱̖̭̩̥̮d̲̹̱̘͎͞ ̶̮̣̺̞̦̬ͅs͉͈͙̙̥p̢̰̞̞̘͖ͅe̤̜ç̮̥i̘͈al͟ ͍̮͙g̠͖̤͙u̫é͙s̸̳̱̯t̢͚̗͓͙̥̺̟ ̜̯ͅs̕t͔͙̀a̳̹r̘̦̻͇,̱͖̰̭̤ ̶̦̩Z̻̙̥ͅA̸̤̖̞͓ͅḼ̀G̵O͏̭̠̩̠̞̗̗!̴͔̤̻͈͔
posted by ckape at 6:09 PM on January 14 [1 favorite]


Walter / DuMont from Tron at 1:52!

Also, major Superego credits vibe.

And all in one episode. That would make for an EPIC whodunit.

Finally, a legitimate use case for deepfakes. But can it do greasy 70s skin?
posted by condour75 at 6:36 PM on January 14


And these are the successful ones.

Yes they are. They guest starred on Cannon!
posted by thatwhichfalls at 6:43 PM on January 14


It's day like this I miss the image tag in these forums.
posted by jeremias at 6:47 PM on January 14


Nathan Arizona at 9:38.
posted by condour75 at 6:50 PM on January 14


I love this for so many reasons.
posted by freakazoid at 6:56 PM on January 14


Stanley Sbornak, 12:39. I'm going to bed.
posted by condour75 at 6:57 PM on January 14 [1 favorite]


The Professor, 13:04!
posted by condour75 at 6:58 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Goddamit. Devin from Knight Rider 13:11
posted by condour75 at 7:00 PM on January 14 [1 favorite]


As anybody noticed the related YT link of Conrad singing Moon River in German?
posted by bluefrog at 7:17 PM on January 14


Does that make both Barnaby Jones and Columbo...

*removes sunglasses*

Cannonical?


hanov3r, go to your room.
posted by holborne at 7:36 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Does that make both Barnaby Jones and

well, since somebody went and mentioned Barnaby Jones, I must now link to that curious episode that went deep with Jethro Tull's Wind Up. Which was never a pop hit or anything (concerning as it does a young boy's thoughtful and resolute rejection of weekly Anglican religious observances). So the whole thing is .... Well, I said it already. Curious.

the original
posted by philip-random at 9:06 PM on January 14


Why are some "guest stars" and some "special guest stars"? What is the difference?
posted by AugustWest at 1:11 AM on January 15


Special guest stars are usually either more famous or from a related/spin-off show.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 4:21 AM on January 15


Also of note: remember when shows had actual intros, with musical themes and an announcer? That’s some pretty leisurely pacing with those guest-star names; in today’s world that time has all been sold for advertising, and show openers are down to a few chords and a title card.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:31 AM on January 15


According to Mark Evanier's blog, special guest star means the agent couldn't get their client more money, but did manage to get something - namely, their name listed as a special guest star.
posted by wittgenstein at 6:07 AM on January 15 [3 favorites]


Ok was one of the only black actors character name *really* 'Simeon'? wtf?
posted by mazola at 9:47 AM on January 15


John Vernon seems to be a front runner for most appearances.
posted by mazola at 10:05 AM on January 15


"Richard Lawrence Hatch", for the BSG fans.
posted by hanov3r at 11:16 AM on January 15 [1 favorite]


The shot of Robert Pine (later of CHiPs fame) at 5:40 shows how strong a resemblance his acting kid bears to him.
posted by hanov3r at 11:19 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


Tina Louise. Hi Ginger!

This clip is a great example of the sunk-cost fallacy. There was a tip-over point where I rolled my mouse over the youtube progress bar and thought "might as well watch all of it".

Kids, the right answer is always "just walk away".
posted by maxwelton at 2:00 PM on January 15


I spotted two Stans from the Golden Girls! Also Jack Cassidy, who’s my favorite Columbo guest star. There’s this one episode where he’s a magician and just deadpans all of his tricks and it’s amazing. Not the tricks, just the whole everything about his act, and also the 1970s.
posted by gc at 3:07 PM on January 15 [1 favorite]


Btw, the first run of Columbo (the 70s stuff) is available on Prime (well, IMBD Tv), if you need a Columbo fix
posted by gc at 7:44 PM on January 15


Collin Wilcox-Horne (the plaintiff in To Kill a Mockingbird)

And they haven't combed her hair since...
posted by jonp72 at 8:38 PM on January 15


Sorry, folks. Cannon is cancelled!

Umm... You're about 40 years too late.
posted by jonp72 at 8:39 PM on January 15


You know that mysterious ham radio station that just broadcasts random numbers over and over again? I want a radio station just like that, except it only announces a never ending list of random guest stars.
posted by jonp72 at 8:42 PM on January 15 [2 favorites]


Why are some "guest stars" and some "special guest stars"? What is the difference?
posted by AugustWest at 4:11 AM on January 15

Special guest stars are usually either more famous or from a related/spin-off show.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:21 AM on January 15


If you’ve never heard the story about television’s very first Special Guest Star, go watch this clip. Trust me, it’s worth it.
posted by pmurray63 at 9:52 PM on January 15 [2 favorites]


There seems to be a subtle change in music around the 19 minute mark, like they rerecording the theme song and made it a bit more up-tempo synth.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 6:52 AM on January 17


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