Avocado’n’Toast
February 12, 2020 11:55 PM   Subscribe

A bot-generated web comic about how millenials are ruining it all for boomers. [via mefi projects]
posted by Going To Maine (51 comments total) 41 users marked this as a favorite
 
This is great, much like everything malevole comes up with. Blimmin' millennials!
posted by Literaryhero at 1:41 AM on February 13


Git off my fukken lawn!!11
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:46 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]


Anyone know how to link to a specific strip? I would like to show people Nr. 1,581,589,496.
posted by Kattullus at 2:34 AM on February 13


Sorry, I didn't give them URLs, you'd have to screengrab (was a quick, simple project; the number is just a unix timestamp)
posted by malevolent at 2:52 AM on February 13 [15 favorites]


I SPENT ALL MY MONEY INVESTING IN A TOOL THAT WOULD GENERATE STATIC LINKS FOR BOT-GENERATED WEB COMICS!!!!
posted by carter at 2:56 AM on February 13 [46 favorites]


*jump jump jump*
posted by carter at 2:57 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]


I thought it was amusing and then I started clicking on the links at the bottom and then I really got it. Good stuff.
posted by zardoz at 3:01 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]


"Blimmin'?" Who blims anymore?
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 4:39 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]


I got 6/7 of the Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer? wrong.
posted by waving at 4:54 AM on February 13 [3 favorites]


CPU cycles are a precious commodity. This is an excellent use of them.
posted by skippyhacker at 5:03 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]


Web comic?! I sank my life savings into deforesting the countryside for the syndicated comics sections in newspapers!!
posted by droro at 5:32 AM on February 13 [14 favorites]


I got 6/7 of the Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer? wrong.

Similarly here.

(Makes a note to do something about the “Haskell or Scientology” quiz idea he had a while ago.)
posted by acb at 5:46 AM on February 13


Boomers outnumber Snake People by about 10 to 1 in my local meta. This has been a soothing balm. Thank you for sharing.
posted by LegallyBread at 5:59 AM on February 13


"Woww, imagine spending your money on democracy!"
posted by RobotHero at 6:22 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]


Wait... millennials killed bar soap? And exorcisms? Fabric softener?
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:34 AM on February 13


millennials killed bar soap?

Yeah, Boomers marketed liquid soap/body wash to us.

Fabric softener?

Textiles technology has improved and things are just actually softer now. I haven't ever used fabric softener (nor dryer sheets) in my adult life.
posted by explosion at 7:15 AM on February 13 [3 favorites]


Who has time and money to go out to a bar for soap anymore? Kids today just drink body wash at home.
posted by aubilenon at 7:25 AM on February 13 [22 favorites]


Heh heh.

This one feels like a callback to the recent thread about Airbnb:

HI TOAST, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH HOTELS?

WTF, HOTELS? TRY A HISTORY BOOK.

AMAZING, PEOPLE USED TO REALLY LIKE HOTELS

HERE'S MISTER BOOMER, HE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY

I GAMBLED MY MONEY ON A PYRAMID SCHEME CASHING IN ON HOTELS!

BLITHERIN' MILLENIALS!!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:28 AM on February 13 [10 favorites]


This one was well worth typing out, IMO. Also, screencap here.

OUT: EXORCISMS

Avocado: HA TOAST, EVER BEEN A FAN OF EXORCISMS?

Toast: HA, EXORCISMS? YOU COULD ASK MY DAD

Avocado: IMAGINE HAVING THE TIME AND MONEY FOR EXORCISMS!

Toast: LET'S SEE WHAT MISTER BOOMER THINKS ABOUT THIS

Mister Boomer:
I REMORTGAGED MY MILLION-POUND HOUSE TO GET RICH FROM EXORCISMS!
BLIMMIN' MILLENIALS!!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:40 AM on February 13 [3 favorites]


The linked mayonnaise article claims it's being replaced by "identity condiments?" Though searching for "identity condiments" just turns up people baffled by the mayo article.

Did millennials also kill laundry starch and bluing? I think I similarly classify fabric softener as "thing I'm vaguely aware of that people used to use for laundry but I have never."
posted by RobotHero at 7:54 AM on February 13 [3 favorites]


The linked article for the exorcism one: Exorcism in Italy a job 'too scary' for young priests

Tired: Exorcisms.
Wired: Being comfortable with your ongoing demonic possession.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:01 AM on February 13 [13 favorites]


So on one hand, I realize the whole Boomer blaming thing is a distraction from the actual class issues. On the other hand, the outrage against OK Boomer et. al. is hilarious. So, good job Vole!
posted by suetanvil at 8:05 AM on February 13 [3 favorites]


"I own shares in a firm strip-mining the countryside for common baby names!"
posted by oulipian at 8:08 AM on February 13 [4 favorites]


Did millennials also kill laundry starch and bluing? I think I similarly classify fabric softener as "thing I'm vaguely aware of that people used to use for laundry but I have never."

Gen X, the generation no one invites to parties because we are really smug and boring, did not use bluing or starch. I have never used either, although the basement of my childhood home did have a laundry mangle which we used very occasionally.

However! (And this is the important part) things come back. I just saw an article about bluing on a young and trendy home site.

The key thing to understand is that nothing killed can stay, and the point of killing it is so that it can be brought back and make more money on its slightly revised or newly trendy form. Something will be common, then old fashioned, then unavailable, then trendily nostalgic, then common, etc etc etc.
posted by Frowner at 8:16 AM on February 13 [14 favorites]


Hi Toast,
what’s the deal with the oil industry?

WTF,
the oil industry? Try a history book

Woww,
imagine spending your money on the oil industry!

Let’s
get Mister Boomer’s carefully considered view

I invested my pension in using child slaves to promote the oil industry!

Blitherin’ millennials!!
posted by WeX Majors at 8:18 AM on February 13 [3 favorites]


Would like to see Avocado and Toast square off against Milk and Cheese.
posted by SPrintF at 8:18 AM on February 13 [6 favorites]


"I put my life savings into burning down rainforests for 9-to-5 workdays!"

i love this, i love you
posted by emirenic at 8:19 AM on February 13 [4 favorites]


I am dying
posted by Automocar at 8:35 AM on February 13


Did a millennial kill you?
posted by RobotHero at 8:36 AM on February 13 [7 favorites]


Weirdly, I just took the Serial Killer or Programming Language Inventor test, and unlike the scores reported earlier in this thread, mine was out of 10, not out of 7. Have new programming languages been invented in the last few hours? Or are some gruesome body dumps uncovered?
posted by jacquilynne at 8:38 AM on February 13 [3 favorites]


With Chrome Console and some basic HTML skillz, you can create your own!
posted by grumpybear69 at 8:44 AM on February 13


I (42) asked my daughter (14) about "OK Boomer". Millennials tend to lump my generation in with them and I hate it. She told me that a student said "OK Boomer" to her Mandarin teacher (mid 20s) and she almost started crying.
posted by Brocktoon at 8:46 AM on February 13 [6 favorites]


She told me that a student said "OK Boomer" to her Mandarin teacher (mid 20s) and she almost started crying.

I would too! Teens are so cruel. I have accepted that I probably look like a Karen but I'll be damned if I take "boomer" lying down.
posted by Countess Elena at 9:10 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]


"Boomer" is at least gender-neutral. "Karen" is fundamentally misogynist.
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:11 AM on February 13 [9 favorites]


I remember when a Teen (probably a Tween, really) asked me if I remembered the sixties. Reader, I was not even the faintest glimmer of a thought of a daydream in my parents' minds in the sixties, since they had not met much less married and established themselves in careers prior to having kids.

More, I remember when I was 13 how all my teachers seemed basically the same age unless they were obviously very grey haired. When I went back to the junior high for something when I was eighteen, I realized that my English teacher was actually super young and must have been in his first year of teaching when he taught my class. If you had asked me when I was 13, I would have thought he was forty-ish as I thought literally every other teacher. Even the one who looked young to me at the time because she wore very on-trend clothes I assumed to be like thirty or something when she too must have been in her very early twenties.

In my experience of being alive, I can only tell age in any degree of fine gradation when people are within about eight to ten years older or younger than me. Everyone under thirty but over fifteen looks the same age, and and while I have a sort of sense of a gradient between people who are about fifty and people who are about seventy, I am frequently very wrong. And this was even more intensely true when I was a kid - remember how obviously different a freshman was from a senior, or even a sophomore from a senior?
posted by Frowner at 9:23 AM on February 13 [11 favorites]


"I invested my pension in using child slaves to promote democracy!"

As one does.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 9:28 AM on February 13


into deforesting the countryside for the syndicated comics sections in newspapers!!

I feel like there's an amazing #sorryjohn for this
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 9:39 AM on February 13


The thing I learned from the Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer quiz is that Gerald Jay Sussman looked a lot like David Berkowitz back in the '70s.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:57 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]


Sooo weird that people had time for divorce!
posted by wreckingball at 10:02 AM on February 13 [2 favorites]


I love the jumbled-pile interface :)
posted by BS Artisan at 10:20 AM on February 13


Avocado: Hi Toast, what's the deal with cars?
Toast: Omg, cars? Must be from the '70s
[...]
Boomer: I put my life savings into burning down rainforests for cars!
Too real, man. Too real.
posted by mhum at 10:23 AM on February 13 [6 favorites]


"Blimmin'?" Who blims anymore?

In my day, nobody blimmed before marriage. Now all the kids are going to middle-school blimming parties.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:40 AM on February 13 [2 favorites]


Have new programming languages been invented in the last few hours?

No, but at least six new JavaScript frameworks have been invented while you read this sentence.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 10:45 AM on February 13 [10 favorites]


Textiles technology has improved and things are just actually softer now. I haven't ever used fabric softener (nor dryer sheets) in my adult life.


I guess it's very GenX of me neither to use liquid softener nor nothing (static hurts ya'll) but to use those little plastic nubbly ball things to de-static my clothes in the dryer. Though I still keep a few sheets around for rubbing on sweaters that are hang-dry and thus, static-y.

Anyway I love this and it's beautiful.
posted by emjaybee at 11:34 AM on February 13 [2 favorites]


Programming language inventors : serial killers :: JavaScript framework inventors : cat torturers
posted by Phssthpok at 11:48 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]


"I own shares in a firm strip-mining the countryside for banks!"
"I put my life savings into burning down rainforests for the oil industry!"

Some of these are just right ON the nose.
posted by doctornemo at 1:01 PM on February 13 [1 favorite]


Surprised not to see Hans Resiser in the Compiler Writer/Serial Killer quiz, after all he did write a compiler ...
posted by mbo at 5:14 PM on February 13 [1 favorite]


Most serial killers look like programming language inventors.
posted by bendy at 6:35 PM on February 13


after all he did write a compiler

As well as a filesystem?

Most serial killers look like programming language inventors.

Perhaps there's not a huge leap from executing operations to executing people?
posted by acb at 12:57 AM on February 14 [1 favorite]


Weirdly, I just took the Serial Killer or Programming Language Inventor test, and unlike the scores reported earlier in this thread, mine was out of 10, not out of 7.

I gave up at 7.
posted by waving at 4:42 AM on February 14


The only one I got right was Guido Van Rossum, who is technically not a serial killer.
posted by suetanvil at 6:55 AM on February 14


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