'Try touching two symbols at once and saying "begin begin begin"'
April 28, 2020 5:14 AM   Subscribe

When Adrian Grey started having wifi problems, he hit up his ISP, Veil Broadband, on Twitter, only to get the typical runaround. SL Twitter thread.
posted by nerdfish (29 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
Anyone else old enough to remember when you had to listen to the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin monotonous whine of accursed flutes in order to get online? Ah, those were / are / will be / have always been the days...
posted by inire at 5:35 AM on April 28 [6 favorites]


This must be the heinous 5G interference we've been warned about by all of those experts on YouTube. Glad to see someone got it under control. A+++ tech service
posted by waving at 5:49 AM on April 28 [4 favorites]


What, this is easy, do a Ctrl-open symbol-reset and it reboots the house for you.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 6:02 AM on April 28 [3 favorites]


ME: the internet used to come in through the phone. It made a terrible noise, like robots screaming.

GRANDSON: hush grandpa take your pills
- https://twitter.com/thenatewolf/status/835227966745407489?lang=en
posted by sebastienbailard at 6:10 AM on April 28 [13 favorites]


Props to whoever on Veil's social media team played along brilliantly.
posted by LeDiva at 6:10 AM on April 28 [5 favorites]


Oh god, those modem noises. AKA my ring tone!

Even worse noises were the sound of a BASIC program recorded to cassette tape by a TI99/4A. Drums, drums in the deep. They are coming...
posted by notsnot at 6:16 AM on April 28 [4 favorites]


Veil seem to be a pretty new company, their Twitter account was only opened in April this year... 🤔
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:17 AM on April 28 [5 favorites]


> Even worse noises were the sound of a BASIC program recorded to cassette tape by a TI99/4A. Drums, drums in the deep. They are coming...

It's kinda catchy; I've listened to electronica that's worse.
posted by sebastienbailard at 6:33 AM on April 28 [2 favorites]


I had a Sinclair when I was a kid. The sounds of the TI99 make the Speccy's seem almost soothing in comparison.
posted by giltay at 6:37 AM on April 28 [1 favorite]


Given that the guy is a professional comedian and the ISP is new, I wonder if this is a promotional thing organized in advance. It feels like a lot more than just "corporate social media plays along with kooky guy on internet."

Either that or everyone involved is just really into improv.
posted by chrominance at 6:45 AM on April 28 [2 favorites]


Er, actually, you know what? Never mind. I finally looked at the ISP Twitter.
posted by chrominance at 6:48 AM on April 28 [1 favorite]


... he 1,000% set up the account for Veil Broadband himself.
posted by nerdfish at 6:49 AM on April 28 [8 favorites]


>What, this is easy, do a Ctrl-open symbol-reset and it reboots the house for you.
Ofc in emacs, but that's not for everyone. (I like how you've mapped them to somewhere more pragmatic than meta-cokebottle Symbol Reset.)
posted by k3ninho at 6:55 AM on April 28


I didn't think you could get decent broadband in Night Vale. At least not if you were within line of sight of the dog park, not that you should ever look directly at the dog park.
posted by mhoye at 6:58 AM on April 28 [6 favorites]


obvs control-closed symbol-reset runs some sort of weird system check and is basically never what you want. maybe thats how this got started in the first place

(and of course its “control” not “ctrl” what was I thinking)
posted by Huffy Puffy at 7:17 AM on April 28


Oh god, those modem noises. AKA my ring tone!

Some of the links in this March 2016 post about modems still work, and you can have fun listening to modem noises.
posted by Wordshore at 7:29 AM on April 28 [2 favorites]


The first link in Wordshore's link also has the pleasing sound of a rotary dial.
In the meantime, I'm going to pull out my Hayes 1200 and listen to that screeching in the privacy of my own home, if I can remember my AT commands.
posted by MtDewd at 8:57 AM on April 28


But how did they get actors who look exactly like the characters

That's a fantastic punchline.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:19 AM on April 28 [8 favorites]


That's a fantastic punchline.

It's really an amazing metajoke, riffing off a Friends plot line.
posted by hanov3r at 9:27 AM on April 28 [3 favorites]


T̴̨̨̢̨̡̩̹̝̩̯̳̯̯̟͙͇͓͉̱̦̟̬̳͕̱̞̼̫̙̫̺̠͈̰̣͓͔̱̞͂̇̀́̽͑̅͒͋͋͐̅̄͗͒̈̀̉̉͌̃̋͋̍̉̾̅̆̀͋͋̀̅̉͒́̌͌̾̕̚̕͜͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅi̸͓͔͖̩̼͖͔̪̖̖̭̘̣̱̻̣̯̞̻͕̻̺͍͇͓͍͚͎͛̆̐͐̿m̴̧̡̨̧̢̛̠̥̣͇̱̲̠͓̝̼͈̹̞̘̣̦̯̤̦̣̱͓̞̻̼̳͕̩̺͔͔͎̹̪̱͇̟̦̤̭̻̘̦̤͇̦̤͒́͂̔̽͒̏̂͒̐́̈́̓͛̅̋̾͂͂̈́̽̎̔̌̆̊͂̾͊̑̈̋̒̆̍͐̈́͐̀̉̌͆̑̃́̈́͂͆͌̈́̅̔̈́̐̄͋̌̈́̍̎͆͐̊̆̀̾̈́͒̅̽̌̚̕̚̚͘̚͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝ͅe̷̢̨̢̝̺̮̤̹̰̯̲̙̣̖͇̳͓̖̩̥͎̙̲̳̦͔̱̮͓͔̺̻̹̰̹̞͉̣̙͚̤͙͈͙̤̍͗̾́̈́̎̉̑̅͐̓̋́̉̂̚̚͜͠͠͠ͅͅs̵̢̡̨̧̡̡̨̡̛̛̮͈̥̝̩͈͙̫̹̞̠̫̻̦̯͍̘̝̣̣͕̱̪̳̝̥̥̫̦̯̟̻̮̦̰͓͔͍̜̱̤͓̩̤͇̥̭͙̝̳̗̺̲̤͕͈͎͉͓̟̺̭̳̋́̾́͒̀̈́̈̀́̔̋̉͐̈̓̉͌̈̾́͌̽̉͗̆̓̌̅̆̍̐̃͗̒͆̆̋͆͑͐͒͛̈́͊̐̈͌͒̅̓́͊͋͌̾̀́́̅͒́͒̊̾̓̅̿̋̈́͋̆͋́̑̚̕͘͜͜͜͝͠͝͠͠ͅͅ'̵̨̡̢̛͕̜̣͚̯̰̪̰͓̝̩͖̲͇͍̬͖͕͉̜̟͍͇͈͈̥̜̰͒͆͗͗͌̑́͂̿̄̏̇́̾̅̒̈́̎̍̑̅̆́̒͒͗̋̂̀͋͆̒̉͊͛́́̕͝͝ͅͅ ̸̧̧̛͉͖̺̻͙̱͙̲̲̮̦̤̘̫͇̜̞͓̯͖̣̞̼͎̞͖̘̈́̊̈́̉͒͑͌̅̓̀̃̌́͗̾̑̑̉̋̄́̒̊̓͒̒̃̆̿̈́̑̌̓̑́̂̿̋͆̈́̅͒̂͂̆̓̒̈́̒͌̓̄̀͑͒̊̿́̑̄͌̓̕̕͘͘̕̚̕͜͝͠Ư̴̼̹̥̞̰͍̟̟̥̮̓̆̋͛̄̊̇̉̂̈́̈́͋̾͋̐̃̀̏͂͆͒̓̃̈̏͗̏̀̽͗͒̃͑̂̑͂͐̄̚̕̚̕͜͝͝p̶̨̢̢̨̧̛͍͉̼͕͖͙̭͙͓̯̹̘̤̜̮͕̭̳̮̼̰̦̗̥̝͎͓͇̤̪͖̖͚̦̘̝͚̥͇̞̯̗̻̦͓̯̫͓̩͕̠̹̖̠̊̌͌͆͋͌̈́̔̾̓͆͌̄́̑̃̏̽̌̌͌̒͂͊̓̄̅̀̏̆̈́̈́̈́́͐̈̈́͒̅͋̾̀͑̎̊̂́̓̂̃̄͘̕͘̕̕͜͜͝ͅ







That was so funny. Thanks
posted by captain afab at 9:45 AM on April 28 [3 favorites]


Finally definitive proof that "Friends" is actually a satanic cult recruitment ad.
posted by sammyo at 10:13 AM on April 28 [3 favorites]


I didn't want to like this, but by the end I was laughing.
posted by briank at 10:48 AM on April 28 [2 favorites]


The latest Veil tweet:
"We are experiencing an unusually high number of calls this afternoon. Please be patient with our advisors, and do not play our 'on hold' music backwards. Thank you."
posted by doctornemo at 11:39 AM on April 28 [5 favorites]


If you play it backwards you hear "Don't Worry, Be Happy". Nooooooooooo!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:28 PM on April 28 [1 favorite]


oh this is so fun. also i never look at twitter, so the idea of a lil narrative horror via this medium is new to me, any other examples? this rules! maybe twitter isn't something to avoid at all costs? (is this how it begins?)
posted by emirenic at 2:24 PM on April 28 [1 favorite]


This is my new favorite thing.
posted by fshgrl at 5:12 PM on April 28


"lil narrative horror via this medium is new to me, any other examples?"
On Twitter, there have been some. Back in the day there was an alien invasion story for a computer game, using @wotw2 or #wotw2 as an anchor. Witch Court Reporter and Medieval Death Bot tell stories in single tweets.

There are other examples in other social media/web 2.0 platforms, like plenty of creepy tales told via podcast, blogs ("Dionaea House", "The Sick Land"), and Flickr stories (“Tell a story in 5 frames (Visual story telling)”).

You might also enjoy the SCP Foundation and creepypasta in general.


I mention a range of these in my New Digital Storytelling, 2nd edition (if saying so doesn't go too far towards self promotion).
posted by doctornemo at 5:29 PM on April 28


emirenic, try Chuck Wendig and Sam Sykes’ “You Might Be The Killer” Twitter thread from 2017, which ended up being made into a short horror film. Sweary and hilarious.
posted by lhauser at 7:04 PM on April 28 [1 favorite]


Someone with black-and-white Classic Mac style artistic chops needs to make some custom World of Horror events based on this (tip: there’s a textfile in the game directory with info). One based on the main plot, one based on the final post in which (rot13.com to decode) abguvat onq be cnegvphyneyl (vs ng nyy) tbbq unccraf ab znggre jung lbh qb, and one based on THAT tangent. You know the one.

(For rebels against the Steam empire, World of Horror is also on itch.io.
posted by BiggerJ at 7:25 PM on April 28


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