She Makes a Really Excellent Mother
July 31, 2020 9:17 PM   Subscribe

Alanis Morisette on the Tonight Show, with guest star Onyx, 4, a beautiful song: "🎶 My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze. 🎵"

Summarized by a Reddit user beautifully:
"Her daughter’s not interrupting, she’s part of the performance. The song is about raising her children. The attention she pays to her daughter, they way her eyes always gravitate back to her, the way that she responds to her even though she’s performing on national television: she’s made her parenting a part of the performance. And it’s not performative parenting, it’s real live parenting, just while she’s performing.

"It’s fucking beautiful. I’ve seen kids interrupt newscasts and I’ve seen hosts incorporate their children into the show, but never anything like this, where the presence of her daughter almost seems incidental. It’s so casual that it’s easy to forget it’s on purpose. It’s incredible to see someone just be a parent at the same time they’re working, and no try to coach or hide or corral their kid."
posted by metabaroque (28 comments total) 75 users marked this as a favorite
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:23 PM on July 31, 2020 [17 favorites]

What an open hearted and good natured and beautifully present 4 and a half minutes. Thanks for posting this, metabaroque.
posted by minervous at 9:33 PM on July 31, 2020 [1 favorite]

I have her new CD arriving tomorrow and I'm very excited for it. It's been a long time since new Alanis music arrived. Her last was Havoc And Bright Lights in 2012. 8 years. Wow.

This performance is utterly remarkable. I could write 10,000 words on it. Thanks SO VERY MUCH for sharing this!
posted by hippybear at 9:36 PM on July 31, 2020 [2 favorites]

I wept openly, thank you for sharing this.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:42 PM on July 31, 2020 [5 favorites]

I would really like it if all of you who could write 10,000 words on this would do it, because this seems like a good thing to put a bright mind to. This was tense for me (I think i was playing Alanis feeling nervous) and it was real nice how it turned out.
posted by lauranesson at 11:15 PM on July 31, 2020 [3 favorites]

Well, I mean, how the headphones were basically a third character in the performance. Daughter obviously wanted to hear the full track but also wanted to hear mommy singing. I thought it was sort of adorable when the verse about the boy came along and she got a bit pouty, but then the girl verse came along and she completely brightened up. An entirely favorite moment of mine was when the girl covered her mom's mouth and her mom worked with it and it was entirely joy producing.

Like I could watch it again and provide commentary, but I think everyone had the exact same heart soaring moments while watching it. The examples of being patient with children and eliciting their cooperation during strange situations was executed so masterfully...

I'm sort of drawn toward another comment in another recent Alanis thread with an interview which said they noped out when Alanis mentioned having always homeschooled her kids. This video says something to me about how her kids are being raised, and it makes me happy.
posted by hippybear at 11:21 PM on July 31, 2020 [8 favorites]

I am a middle-aged guy in cargo shorts and a goatee and I came here to say: Alanis Morissette on Pregnancy at 45, Childbirth, Postpartum Depression, and #MeToo by Nicole Cliffe in Self, 6/26/19, is as fine a magazine article as I have ever read.
posted by neuron at 11:43 PM on July 31, 2020 [18 favorites]

This was amazing.

This really made me think about how in America there is this clear devide between personal and professional lives, and that we try really hard to keep kids out of everything not expressly kid. But wow, integration of family is just so so so so chaoticly beautiful, even if she's just clearly 4 and along for the ride.

This isn't an advocacy for being your kid to work everyday, but that having kids and doing work doesn't have to be divided and perfectly separated.
posted by AlexiaSky at 12:25 AM on August 1, 2020 [10 favorites]

Oh, my heart. I thought I couldn’t love Alanis any more than I already did but I was wrong.
posted by Jubey at 1:44 AM on August 1, 2020 [8 favorites]

Last night someone who should have known better posted on my Facebook feed one of those copypastas about sorry not sorry but it’s good for kids to get regular butt spankings like we endured back in the day, and it filled me with rage and sadness. This performance felt like both a forceful repudiation and a soothing medication.
posted by xigxag at 2:57 AM on August 1, 2020 [8 favorites]

Proper and necessary use of all-caps.

About half-way through I couldn't believe how well her performance taken separately went, timing-wise with her band. Then realized -- taken wholly with her daughter ... it hit me deep in my core.
posted by filtergik at 4:41 AM on August 1, 2020 [1 favorite]

any book lovers in here??
posted by Heywood Mogroot III at 6:12 AM on August 1, 2020 [4 favorites]

This was a very lovely thing to wake up to.

Also, yes, awesome wall of books!!!
posted by obfuscation at 6:49 AM on August 1, 2020

Post title is absolute gold.
posted by knownassociate at 7:07 AM on August 1, 2020 [18 favorites]

I always wondered how little Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez‘s were made.
posted by valkane at 8:57 AM on August 1, 2020 [6 favorites]

Is it me or has it suddenly gotten really dusty in here? Thanks for sharing. This is beautiful.
posted by unicorn chaser at 9:04 AM on August 1, 2020 [3 favorites]

That was amazing. Agree with everything else said above, and I'm also struck by how happy Alanis looks. There's no stress over her kid 'messing up' the performance, she's just going with the flow, clearly loving being able to share the moment with her daughter.

Technically, I would love to know how the band stayed on beat. A bunch of separate recordings sync'ed up as this performance, maybe?

And metabaroque, I love your post title!
posted by Frayed Knot at 9:36 AM on August 1, 2020 [4 favorites]

That was very sweet.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 11:55 AM on August 1, 2020

It's a derail from the posted video, but I got the CD today and it's astonishing. She's had two singles released so far that people might not know about, Smiling, with the cast of the Broadway show Jagged Little Pill, and also Reasons I Drink, with several Alanises. (Alanii?)

This album is really good on first listen. I wasn't so much a fan of her previous (8 years ago!) but liked it enough. Flavors Of Entanglement is astounding, though, if you don't know that album!

And now back to this beautiful video!
posted by hippybear at 3:38 PM on August 1, 2020

also Reasons I Drink, with several Alanises. (Alanii?)

That's neat. I recognize one of the Alanises as being from "Ironic" (obligatory), which itself featured several Alanises. Recursive Alanii!
posted by metabaroque at 4:45 PM on August 1, 2020 [1 favorite]

I have her new CD arriving tomorrow

Not quite sure how you do it, hippybear, but it only took those seven words for me to instinctually think “this is a hippybear comment, I’d stake my life on it.”
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 4:55 PM on August 1, 2020 [4 favorites]

That was amazing! Thank you so much! If anybody has Amazon prime you can listen to the whole album on Amazon Music.
posted by KleenexMakesaVeryGoodHat at 6:50 PM on August 1, 2020 [1 favorite]

Wow, that was wonderful.
posted by Windopaene at 7:17 PM on August 1, 2020

Best of The Web.
Thanks for posting this.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 12:04 AM on August 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

It is fucking beautiful. And this is what we are trying to do out here, so many of us. So many of us over the years, past, present and future. And for women, constantly juggling the demands and joys of life. Trying to show up, with all our talents and experience and hopes and have some beautiful moments. I love this aspect of the world we are in right now, just having to open the door and let the personal come in, the whole person be seen, even if just for a moment.
posted by amanda at 9:01 AM on August 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

The entire album is also on YouTube, if anyone is interested.
posted by hippybear at 11:02 AM on August 2, 2020

What a gorgeous work of art and what a touching video. So glad you posted this, metabaroque.
posted by brainwane at 10:31 AM on August 12, 2020

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