Update: Turns out it was in fact not every day

September 4, 2020 2:48 PM

"OMG my brother in law, the gift that never stops giving, was tired of being sent to get rice every day so he decided buy in bulk, talked to the shop about it, wires got crossed, now there is a literal TRUCK FILLED WITH RICE outside the house and my sister is losing her shit lmfao"

Hugo-nominated author Shiv Ramdas livetweets the process of getting a large truck to go away. (Threadreader)
posted by Countess Elena (20 comments total)

It isn't often that you get to be present at the creation of a story that you can be pretty sure members of your family are still going to be telling generations down the line.
posted by ryanshepard at 3:01 PM on September 4, 2020 [26 favorites]

I could easily envision my brother-in-law pulling this. Last time we drove through my spouse's hometown on a long road trip, we narrowly avoided being gifted with bags and bags of live guppies. Informing him that we still had two weeks left in the trip, including an entire academic conference, did not dissuade him. In the end we just skipped town before he could find us to give us the fish.
posted by sciatrix at 3:06 PM on September 4, 2020 [14 favorites]

I am reminded of this excellent entry from DailyWTF.
posted by uberchet at 3:12 PM on September 4, 2020 [20 favorites]

"the Mr Wolf of warehouse cockups" is my new sockpuppet name.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:17 PM on September 4, 2020 [17 favorites]

Mom asked him why are you here and his response was why are YOU here?

We are all here

That's so deep!
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:18 PM on September 4, 2020 [8 favorites]

You can buy a truckload of printer paper on Amazon just on the regular product page (1 ream-5 ream-10 ream-pallet-truckload). It costs $27,409. Careful with that one-click button ...
posted by carter at 3:23 PM on September 4, 2020 [22 favorites]

Update: I have convinced sister that I am not party to this. However Mom and I have fled back outside because dad just walked in and asked sis "what is this truck outside why did you call it?"

No.... Just... No....
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 3:26 PM on September 4, 2020 [5 favorites]

That just kept getting better and better. Excellent storytelling!
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:34 PM on September 4, 2020 [5 favorites]

If you've not read Shiv Ramdas's fiction, you totally should. And Now His Lordship is Laughing is a fantasy short story set in 1943 India during the Bengal Famine, and was a well-deserved Hugo finalist.
posted by sgranade at 3:47 PM on September 4, 2020 [29 favorites]

I'm still trying to figure out just how bad you have to fail at ordering rice that an entire truck full of it arrives at your house and necessitates the need for Manu to come out and conduct negotiations to save you.

For a moment I was afraid this would be another "shit that didn't happen" story like the couple who voted for Brexit that turned out to be a TERF-written fantasy. But I was not disappointed, the rice crisis was averted, bottles of booze were acquired, a wonderful time was had by all. Well, maybe not the brother-in-law!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 4:33 PM on September 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

For a moment I was afraid this would be another "shit that didn't happen" story like the couple who voted for Brexit that turned out to be a TERF-written fantasy.

Wait what? Please don't tell me it was RS Archer that was the milkshake duck.
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 4:52 PM on September 4, 2020 [2 favorites]

I know Shiv personally and can vouch for the fact that the man is not lying, we have all been hearing about this BIL (and also his awesome mom) for many years now. What a legendary thread!
posted by MiraK at 6:59 PM on September 4, 2020 [59 favorites]

I remember when I worked tech support and a rep inadvertently put in a (-1) quantity for a positive quantity only in a Siebel form resulting in a person getting a palate filled with remotes delivered to their driveway instead of the 1 they were expecting. It was the only time I remember when scheduling a customer pickup and return was actually worth the shipping charges. I assure you the form was changed to only allow positive numbers and there was a correction with allowing a signed int into an unsigned int field. We spent the next few days piling the guy's cube with every possible remote we could find.
posted by Nanukthedog at 10:06 PM on September 4, 2020 [15 favorites]

I eat a lot of salmon and particularly like the skin. A few years ago, I stopped by our local fishmonger and tried to ask the guy there - whose english is not great - if it was possible to buy a small tub of salmon skin scraps to crisp in the microwave as a snack. For some reason the word "tub" eluded me just when I needed it, so I ended up trying to explain the quantity I wanted by comparing it to "one of those little margarine ... bucket things".

He immediately looked very alarmed and said "You want BUCKETFUL?!" I managed to flee before any transaction resulted, but I'm still a bit nervous about going back there now.
posted by Paul Slade at 11:54 PM on September 4, 2020 [13 favorites]

Our department administrator somehow mixed up quantities for an order of test tubes and reagents with the number of test tubes that come in a package and reagent volumes (3 orders of a package of 200 test tubes, 2 orders of 500 mL of ethanol, etc.) which resulted in pallets and pallets of equipment and reagents and a bill from Fisher Scientific for well over $30,000! Trying to fix the resulting mess (it was a grad student's order, she had asked for about $1,500 of equipment based on internal grants) still haunts me. If only I'd had cigars and whiskey. And Manu.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:00 AM on September 5, 2020 [14 favorites]

Key Update: Cigarettes were in fact a huge strategic blunder

(wiping tears from my eyes)
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:48 AM on September 5, 2020 [8 favorites]

Thirty years ago I was shipping clerk at Jackson guitars when they were in San Dimas. To make pickups you need little metal cylinders called pole pieces that fit into the plastic bobbins the wire is wrapped around. They used black anodized ones.

My boss ordered 1M from a new company when he meant 1K. I got to figure out where to put all the boxes that showed up. Those little bastards are heavy!

Not only that, the coating wasn't right so they rusted. Company wouldn't take them back, so after he got fired it was my job to check every guitar I sent out and color over any rust on the pickups with a sharpie.
posted by InfidelZombie at 8:02 AM on September 5, 2020 [9 favorites]

I was tasked with ordering coffee filters for the office ... We now have enough coffee filters to last for as long as the company does. Everytime someone says we're out of filters I chuckle and open up the closet and show them the thousands of filters that I smartly(?) invested in.
posted by one4themoment at 6:36 PM on September 5, 2020 [9 favorites]

I’m reminded of Fuchstal in Upper Bavaria, where an unlucky council employee once accidentally ordered 12 years’ worth of toilet paper. (And I just realised that they ran out pretty much exactly one year before toilet paper temporarily became significantly more difficult to come by.)
posted by wachhundfisch at 10:38 AM on September 6, 2020 [1 favorite]

In 2003 (I think?) our staff assistant was supposed to order 100 packs of sugar for the break room. She ordered 100 of 100 packs of sugar. We are still not done using them up. Someone gave us a HUGE popcorn tin for a going away present, and the sugar packets have been living in there since we finished the popcorn. Works great to store sugar, apparently!

It's one of my favorite office stories. Every new staff assistant we've had since then have received the "pay attention when you order supplies! If it's inordinately expensive for what you are ordering, check the quantity!" lecture, which includes a look in the NameRedacted Tin Of Sugar...
posted by gemmy at 7:11 PM on September 6, 2020 [6 favorites]