Butts LOL
September 13, 2020 12:19 PM   Subscribe

Paging Dr Belcher, Dr Tina Belcher.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 12:28 PM on September 13 [9 favorites]

This was not at ALL what I thought I'd be reading about today but here we are
posted by Kitchen Witch at 12:59 PM on September 13 [1 favorite]

Gonna go back to this Mitch Hedberg gem:

This one guy said, "Look at that girl. She's got a nice butt." I said, "Yeah, I bet she can sit down excellently!"
posted by NoMich at 1:49 PM on September 13 [11 favorites]

So this weekend I found myself (a) so bored that I was watching a video of a corgi getting its butt blow dried, (b) this video featuring a closeup of tarantula butt, an then watched the play "In Love and Warcraft" in which the asexual (?) heroine grumbles that everyone's obsessed with butts.

So clearly the theme continues.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:05 PM on September 13

* walks in, waves for the eponysteria, walks out *
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:34 PM on September 13 [16 favorites]

Higher status males would make a show of their preference for adipose deposits, to signal unchecked sexual drive. Similar to the flush response in anger, this inability to deceive signaled higher fitness, as it meant he could only advance through overt strength and not deception.

So much as to say, He who was the fittest could say to the social group: I like big butts and I cannot lie.
posted by condour75 at 4:45 PM on September 13 [9 favorites]

Nearly 30 years ago, I took a stage combat class in college. On the first day of class, the teacher proceeded to lecture on what he called his "Monkeys With Butts" theory. The theory goes like this:

Back in the day, there were two types of monkeys living in the trees: monkeys with butts and monkeys without butts. After many millions of years of evolution, the monkeys decided that they were tired of living in the trees, and wanted to try living on the ground for a change. However, not having had any experience with the ground, they didn't have a clear picture of how to get from the trees to the ground, so they basically just fell out of the trees.

The monkeys with butts landed on their butts, and therefore survived to live on the land and evolve into human beings. The monkeys without butts did not.

The moral of the story is: Butts are for falling on. Because stage combat is a lot more about falling down than some people may think, the first lesson to learn is to fall on your butt. That's what it's there for.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 8:04 AM on September 14 [7 favorites]

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