You probably think this song is about... who?

October 19, 2020 11:55 AM

"You're So Vain" (lyrics) was a big hit for Carly Simon, reaching Billboard's number one spot in 1973. However, who the song is about has been an enduring mystery.

What is currently known:

- It is not James Taylor or Mick Jagger.
- In 2003, Dick Ebersol won a charity auction to be the only other person, besides Simon, to know who the subject of the song is. A hint he was given beforehand was that the person's name contains the letter "E" (previously).
- Simon reveals two more letters, "A" and "R", to Regis Philbin in 2004.
- A 2009 re-recording contains a whisper which sounds like "Daaaavid"around the 2:30 mark when played backwards. Simon notes the existence of this whisper in a 2010 interview with Uncut magazine. David Bowie and David Cassidy had been eliminated as possibilities by Simon by this time, which leaves David Geffen, or perhaps someone else.
- In 2015, Simon confirms a name to People magazine while promoting her memoir (related). That's right, a name. “I have confirmed that the second verse is Warren [Beatty]." In all likelihood, the "you" in the chorus is plural, and the song is actually about three people, not one.
- Or four? The existence of a fourth verse, which never made it into the final song, was revealed in 2015.

posted by May Kasahara (55 comments total)

I'm not sure I see the mystery here? It's about you. Says it right there on the tin.
posted by gwint at 12:01 PM on October 19, 2020 [16 favorites]

omg wait it's not about you, you only think it's about you. this is a mystery.
posted by gwint at 12:05 PM on October 19, 2020 [15 favorites]

I'm not sure I see the mystery here? It's about you. Says it right there on the tin.

And frankly we're sick of your shit, so knock it off already.

I had always heard it was Geffen. Not like I had any special connections or anything, but it's what I heard.
posted by rhizome at 12:11 PM on October 19, 2020

All I know for sure is that the person that song's about was Time's Person of the Year in 2006.
posted by chavenet at 12:25 PM on October 19, 2020 [12 favorites]

The song is about her.
posted by pracowity at 12:32 PM on October 19, 2020 [6 favorites]

David Geffen already has 'Free Man in Paris,' he doesn't need another song about him.
posted by box at 12:37 PM on October 19, 2020

Scuttlebutt here in Dukes county says it is about Steven Tyler from Aerosmith.
posted by vrakatar at 12:42 PM on October 19, 2020

When I was five years old in 1972, my family did go to Nova Scotia to view the eclipse. So, theoretically, the song could be about me.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 12:45 PM on October 19, 2020 [14 favorites]

When after all, it was you and me!
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:46 PM on October 19, 2020 [7 favorites]

Look, it's not about you. You were, however, implicated in starting the fire, probably around the time you lost that loving feeling.

(No one has yet answered the weighty question of who, precisely, the Beatles wanted so bad. It was driving them mad!)
posted by phooky at 1:03 PM on October 19, 2020 [10 favorites]

After years of only hearing this song whilst shopping in the supermarket or on car radios, by chance I was listening to this last month on my good headphones and "critically listened" to it, a few things struck me:

The lyric are very well-written and this section in particular is delivered with a barely contained rage that reminds me of Alanis Morissette's best tunes. I'm too lazy to look it up but I wonder how much Morissette might have been inspired by Simon.

You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me...

(ouch)

Also, at one point when the chorus kicks in I'm like "Wait is that Mick Jagger singing backup?" Turns out, yes it was. Maybe that's common knowledge? Was news to me, I had never heard his voice in the mix before.

The production also has that glorious full 70s sound, which only makes sense as it was made by Richard Perry, you know the same guy who produced Captain Beefheart and Tiny Tim, wait... what?
posted by jeremias at 1:14 PM on October 19, 2020 [23 favorites]

It's about you and your pet chinchilla
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:16 PM on October 19, 2020 [3 favorites]

I thought it was Manson and Love ...
posted by WaterAndPixels at 1:35 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf, it was apricot

I want this song to be about me.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:39 PM on October 19, 2020 [6 favorites]

Fun fact: 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morrisette is about the same person! ;P
posted by sexyrobot at 1:41 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

When I was a kid I thought it was about a person named”Solvain.”
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:44 PM on October 19, 2020 [24 favorites]

Didn't Bill Murray whisper the name to Scarlett Johansson in the last scene in "Lost In Translation"?
posted by tallmiddleagedgeek at 1:46 PM on October 19, 2020 [4 favorites]

The person wrote a letter back but sadly decided to be all cryptic when they signed it...
posted by amcewen at 1:57 PM on October 19, 2020 [3 favorites]

Just because I'm vain, that doesn't mean the song is not about me.
posted by Kettle at 2:07 PM on October 19, 2020 [2 favorites]

"You pressed you, referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is you!"
posted by sleeping bear at 2:39 PM on October 19, 2020

Obligatory: Felix and Oscar from The Odd Couple sing You're So Vain.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:47 PM on October 19, 2020 [10 favorites]

So this song released when I was one year old. I guess you had to have been there. But I've always found Warren Beatty to be kind of creepy and weird looking. Simon on the other hand... my, she was beautiful.
posted by SoberHighland at 3:03 PM on October 19, 2020

I always found it logically frustrating that the song tries to have its cake and eat it too, by saying “you probably think this song is about you, don’t you,” in a song that is in fact literally about that person
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:09 PM on October 19, 2020 [8 favorites]

I remember being a little boy (7) and my mother and I singing "clowns in my coffee" whenever the song came on the radio, and laughing hysterically.
posted by terrapin at 3:16 PM on October 19, 2020 [9 favorites]

Obligatory: Felix and Oscar from The Odd Couple sing You're So Vain

This is the best thing ever.
posted by freakazoid at 3:23 PM on October 19, 2020 [3 favorites]

Well, I once flew my (rented) Cessna 172 out to Eastern Oregon to see the partial eclipse of the sun. Do you think this song could be about me?
posted by monotreme at 3:34 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

> I always found it logically frustrating that the song tries to have its cake and eat it too, by saying “you probably think this song is about you, don’t you,” in a song that is in fact literally about that person

"And you're right" is implied.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:34 PM on October 19, 2020 [5 favorites]

Hmmm. "Nelson A. Rockefeller" popped into my head. So I'll guess him for one of them.

These lyrics pivot towards at least one of these men as being older and cosmopolitan, very rich, and in high social demand. Given her own status due to her father, I'm sure the Social Register types crossed her path as well as the artists, actors, and rock stars.
posted by droplet at 3:39 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

it’s about wanda tinasky
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 3:47 PM on October 19, 2020 [3 favorites]

No one has yet answered the weighty question of who, precisely, the Beatles wanted so bad.

Nor the author of the Book of Love.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:14 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

I always found it logically frustrating that the song tries to have its cake and eat it too, by saying “you probably think this song is about you, don’t you,” in a song that is in fact literally about that person

You’re so vain
You probably shave all the men in town who don’t shave themselves
You’re so vain
I bet you know the date of your surprise hanging, don’t you, don’t you?
posted by No-sword at 4:17 PM on October 19, 2020 [9 favorites]

DoctorFedora: The thing that blew my mind when I caught up on this topic today was that the song is very likely about multiple people. It puts that line in a whole new light, as though what it's saying, "You probably think this song is about (just) you (lol no)."

I have to wonder what Warren Beatty (who believed the whole song was about him) thinks about that.
posted by May Kasahara at 4:21 PM on October 19, 2020 [8 favorites]

Kurt Cobain
Is gonna form a band called Nirvana
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:57 PM on October 19, 2020 [9 favorites]

David Geffen already has 'Free Man in Paris,' he doesn't need another song about him.

I don't know, but Geffen inspired Drone Shot of My Yacht, which is a John Mayer song that's actually funny (on purpose).
posted by jonp72 at 5:07 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

Woah, I'd always assumed this song was about me.
posted by Elmore at 5:12 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

Well, its about me. I am Spartacus, after all.
posted by nubs at 5:23 PM on October 19, 2020

OF COURSE IT'S WARREN BEATTY OFCOURSE IT'S WARREN BEATTY WHY ARE WE EVEN DISCUSSING THIS FOR LIKE A SECOND LIKE IT COULD POSSIBLY BE LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE BUT WARREN BEATTY I KNEW THIS FROM THE FIRST TIME I HEARD THE SONG, KNOWING NOTHING AS A CHILD AS TO WHETHER OR NOT SHE EVEN KNEW HIM.

I have strong feelings on this, apparently.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:34 PM on October 19, 2020 [11 favorites]

Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly somebody will say like plate or shrimp or plate of shrimp out of the blue--no explanation. No point in looking for one either. It's all part of the Cosmic Unconsciousness.
posted by jclarkin at 6:27 PM on October 19, 2020 [2 favorites]

Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp

If I'm following you, you're suggesting the song is about a plate of shrimp that hasn't been deveined?
posted by nubs at 7:23 PM on October 19, 2020 [3 favorites]

You'll find one in every car. You'll see.
posted by evilDoug at 7:24 PM on October 19, 2020 [2 favorites]

Well, I do have a, e, & r in my name.

But it definitely is not about me.
posted by Pouteria at 7:33 PM on October 19, 2020

love this song, and re: mick - once you know he’s there, you can’t miss him. he sounds great.
posted by fingers_of_fire at 8:54 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

Fun fact: 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morrisette is about the same person! ;P

Dave Coulier would have been 14 when Simon’s song came out, but I’m convinced nonetheless.
posted by good in a vacuum at 9:24 PM on October 19, 2020

Forget this, I'm still back in 1967 trying to figure out what those two teens threw off the Tallahatchie bridge.
posted by NorthernLite at 9:44 PM on October 19, 2020 [6 favorites]

I always found it logically frustrating that the song tries to have its cake and eat it too, by saying “you probably think this song is about you, don’t you,” in a song that is in fact literally about that person

"And you're right" is implied.

Hmm, that isn't helping me. This has always bugged me, because the refrain seems to be framed as some sick burn, and yet...it isn't? And therefore it makes Carly Simon look dumb for thinking that it's so witty?

After this post made me dwell on it yet again, I think maybe some extrapolation is needed. The song effectively says "you think you're better than everybody else", and we know that's an inherently bad way to be. But the subject won't feel shamed by being called out. Instead it will just feed his vanity to know that there's a song about him.

So maybe it is very witty after all, and part of that is that the wit is hidden.
posted by polecat at 10:00 PM on October 19, 2020

But remains the question: who are they, whom nobody does it better than?

(My money is on this being what Mrs. Cyclops sings when she wants to wind up Mr. Cyclops.)
posted by bartleby at 11:31 PM on October 19, 2020

Obligatory: Felix and Oscar from The Odd Couple sing You're So Vain

There's those girls again!
posted by alex_skazat at 11:33 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

No one has posted the Mountain Goats version? Well OK.
posted by alex_skazat at 11:34 PM on October 19, 2020 [2 favorites]

I thought it was pretty obvious that the song was about multiple people, and Simon was noting a commonality between them and found a clever way to write about vain people without them being pleased she wrote a song about them: write a song about multiple people, conflate the details so it's hard to know which person specifically is being referred to, and then catchily castigate them in the chorus for thinking that she wrote a song about them rather than vanity.
posted by Merus at 11:50 PM on October 19, 2020 [7 favorites]

I mean isn't it kinda vain to be singing about all these terrible, and terribly wealthy men?

Carly wouldn't ever be able to talk about meeting a punk rock girl slam dancing in a skatepark warehouse next to the homeless shelter and instantly making out with them until they - while on top of me and me very much pinned down to the ground in the middle of the now parted crowd, stated very calmly, "I have to throw up" -

but I can!
posted by alex_skazat at 11:51 PM on October 19, 2020

If you were to ask the Leader of the Free World who it was about, he would confirm that this song and pretty well every other song was about him.
posted by TheRaven at 12:47 AM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]

It's about Hank the Angry, Drunken Dwarf.
posted by Cardinal Fang at 1:24 AM on October 20, 2020

I had a dream
there were clowns drinking coffee
clowns drinking coffee
posted by Naberius at 6:16 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]

Angela Merkel is a she, TheRaven.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:23 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]

In addition to "clowns in my coffee," I also enjoy singing "wife of a postman." (Which does seem marginally more achievable than the wife of a close friend.)
posted by fiercecupcake at 8:33 AM on October 21, 2020 [2 favorites]