I can stop a war with my crystals
October 20, 2020 12:42 PM Subscribe
Click on it and your cynicism will be healed.
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:55 PM on October 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:55 PM on October 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
But where can I get these crystals?
posted by OHenryPacey at 1:09 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by OHenryPacey at 1:09 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Is crystals something new going on? The Dakota Johnson Architectural Digest video, which for some reason is the IT thing in the gay gen-z community and I don't understand that either, talked about crystals being a thing in LA.
Having lived in some urban hippie enclaves this has always been a thing, along with burning sage and an eagle feather to get rid of bad spirits. I feel as if there's suddenly a wave of crystal stuff showing up in my social media feeds for some reason.
posted by geoff. at 1:23 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Having lived in some urban hippie enclaves this has always been a thing, along with burning sage and an eagle feather to get rid of bad spirits. I feel as if there's suddenly a wave of crystal stuff showing up in my social media feeds for some reason.
posted by geoff. at 1:23 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
As a scientific crystallographer, let me go bash my head against the wall for a bit.
It gets really annoying about how many myths and how much misinfo there is when dealing with crystals due to stuff like this.
posted by Canageek at 1:48 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
It gets really annoying about how many myths and how much misinfo there is when dealing with crystals due to stuff like this.
posted by Canageek at 1:48 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
It gets really annoying about how many myths and how much misinfo there is when dealing with crystals due to stuff like this.
Yeah. Elevating chakras, mastering astral projection I get, but stopping robbers? Making a baby pony fly? This video sets unrealistic expectations.
posted by zsazsa at 1:50 PM on October 20, 2020 [12 favorites]
Yeah. Elevating chakras, mastering astral projection I get, but stopping robbers? Making a baby pony fly? This video sets unrealistic expectations.
posted by zsazsa at 1:50 PM on October 20, 2020 [12 favorites]
Back in the day, I was known to say if crystals had any power whatsoever, crystal shops would control the world. Needless to say...
posted by njohnson23 at 1:58 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by njohnson23 at 1:58 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
I suppose their label must have made them cut the scene where the crystal causes Trump to turn back into a pile of human waste.
posted by jamjam at 2:00 PM on October 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by jamjam at 2:00 PM on October 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
That was a really good baby pony.
posted by queensissy at 2:26 PM on October 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by queensissy at 2:26 PM on October 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
Canageek: “It gets really annoying about how many myths and how much misinfo there is when dealing with crystals due to stuff like this.”Spoken like someone who wants to keep all quartz crystals with the triangles on them to themselves because those are the ones with the Atlantean spirits inside.
posted by ob1quixote at 2:33 PM on October 20, 2020 [9 favorites]
If you sprinkle a crystal with tachyon-infused water, it's much more powerful.
posted by diode at 2:58 PM on October 20, 2020
posted by diode at 2:58 PM on October 20, 2020
The Dakota Johnson Architectural Digest video, which for some reason is the IT thing in the gay gen-z community and I don't understand that either, talked about crystals being a thing in LA.
Yep. In fact, House of Intuition is only like a 5 minute walk from Moon Juice of Activated Cashews! fame where Father John Misty (allegedly) stole their giant crystal.
posted by sideshow at 3:55 PM on October 20, 2020
Yep. In fact, House of Intuition is only like a 5 minute walk from Moon Juice of Activated Cashews! fame where Father John Misty (allegedly) stole their giant crystal.
posted by sideshow at 3:55 PM on October 20, 2020
These guys are hilarious and it’s a damn shame American English doesn’t use the expression “taking the piss.”
I really enjoyed their Google Dashi and I bet you will too.
posted by sjswitzer at 4:13 PM on October 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
I really enjoyed their Google Dashi and I bet you will too.
posted by sjswitzer at 4:13 PM on October 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
Also, what’s the deal with 5G? Can I watch a video three times as fast or something? Crystals don’t have anything on that nonsense.
posted by sjswitzer at 4:15 PM on October 20, 2020
posted by sjswitzer at 4:15 PM on October 20, 2020
5G hardware-based encoding/decoding sigils are lithographed directly onto great big crystals, which are then cut into tiny pieces and installed in phones.
posted by heatherlogan at 4:29 PM on October 20, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by heatherlogan at 4:29 PM on October 20, 2020 [9 favorites]
Joe Rogan is, like, totally legit.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:29 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:29 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
so fun!
crystals are magic! (like magnets!).
posted by danjo at 4:58 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
crystals are magic! (like magnets!).
posted by danjo at 4:58 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Suddenly I have a craving for a big bowl of 5G.
posted by dirigibleman at 5:28 PM on October 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by dirigibleman at 5:28 PM on October 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
Suddenly I have a craving for a big bowl of 5G.
In England we call it Ready Brek.
posted by Cardinal Fang at 11:56 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
In England we call it Ready Brek.
posted by Cardinal Fang at 11:56 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
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posted by lalochezia at 12:51 PM on October 20, 2020