Chaotic Good in its Most Pure Form

January 29, 2021 7:08 AM

Last week, [Dakota Johnson] appeared on The Tonight Show and admitted to Jimmy Fallon that she did not actually love limes or think they were great. The truth was revealed when Fallon played a clip of Johnson saying, "I love limes." The host asked his guest, with feigned earnestness, "What do you do with all those limes?" She responded, "I actually didn't even know that they were in there." Two Truths & A Lime: Pulling Apart Dakota Johnson’s Glorious Web Of Lies by Olivia Harrison [Refinery29]
posted by chavenet (36 comments total)

I was unaware of any of this, but I am charmed.
posted by fedward at 7:48 AM on January 29, 2021 [4 favorites]

In the 1970s, cocaine was God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. In 2021, it’s limes?
posted by jonp72 at 7:52 AM on January 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

Johnson's breakthrough came with her leading role as Anastasia "Ana" Steele in the erotic romantic drama film Fifty Shades of Grey

From the sub, limes to the ridiculous?
posted by zamboni at 7:53 AM on January 29, 2021 [52 favorites]

Oral allergy syndrome sufferers, we have found our champion.
posted by Think_Long at 7:56 AM on January 29, 2021 [7 favorites]

I watched the house tour; I love seeing other people's houses. She's awfully vapid. Her kitchen, with the limes, is a perfect shade of green, tho.
posted by theora55 at 7:59 AM on January 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

That was an interesting read. But now I can sense a margarita evening rushing towards me.
posted by biffa at 8:03 AM on January 29, 2021 [3 favorites]

I like that kitchen! Nice colour and looks quite efficient. I was expecting something with 3 islands in it because she's must be loaded but she doesn't feel the need for a show kitchen which is great. Also I didn't see the resemblance before but in the top picture of the article she really looks like her father.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 8:08 AM on January 29, 2021 [3 favorites]

I wish I had a picture of my grandmother with a tiger. But, alas, all I have is a picture of my grandmother with a Lucky Strike.

I hadn't seen that home tour until now. It's wonderful! She's giving a tour of her house but only really showing off the furniture and the things on the furniture. I can appreciate her making things up. She probably hadn't seen the limes up until that point so just playing along with the set dressing was some top notch improv work.
posted by bondcliff at 8:23 AM on January 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

She's awfully vapid

There's definitely something to her affect that i registered the same, but her almost instrumental pop culture moment in unmasking Ellen really cemented her position in the pantheon of a minor idol within the nepotism crowd, and ehhhh, we could do worse. Though at this point I'm mostly fascinated by the fascination ppl have of her.
posted by cendawanita at 8:24 AM on January 29, 2021 [5 favorites]

Vapid? Don't think so. If I might risk reading too much into the little bit we see in the video, more like playing to the AD audience and trying to be toned down. Her books, collections of stuff, and little catches of swearing all suggest more a '60s-ish tough chick attitude that she's trying to hold back a bit. The family friendship with Thompson, the "punkrock" Chanel plaque, the books by Kesey, Patti Smith DF Wallace, the Grace Coddington autobio, Feminists Don't Wear Pink, etc, a sort of fascination with femininity and masculinity in how they mix.

She leans into the excess of "loving" different things she's acquired, but it feels like she's as much saying it to test it out rather than her usual manner of reference, which I'd guess is again more just fascination with some association involved. She seems like she might be someone who expresses things more simply than she thinks about them, substituting swearing or other slight hyperbole for more involved emotions or thoughts that aren't as easy to express, which isn't all that uncommon a thing among actors and some arty types, as they find expression through that other form. It feels like a bit of risk and exploration of self and playing with how others see her might be her idea of fun. But then again, what do I know? Maybe this is all typical of AD house calls.
posted by gusottertrout at 8:52 AM on January 29, 2021 [13 favorites]

I had a rude boy question my "itchy mouth" problems with random foods at random times. Said I was affecting the behavior to get attention. ORAL ALLERGY SYNDROME is a THING. Dakota...do a walk/run/campaign for the rest of us.
posted by lextex at 9:10 AM on January 29, 2021 [5 favorites]

Why, you see, the girls are always buying them, and unless you want to be thought mean, you must do it, too. It’s nothing but limes now, for everyone is sucking them in their desks in schooltime, and trading them off for pencils, bead rings, paper dolls, or something else. ... If one girl likes another, she gives her a lime; if she’s mad with her, she eats one before her face, and doesn’t offer even a suck.
posted by aws17576 at 9:14 AM on January 29, 2021 [6 favorites]

Doesn't come across as vapid to me. This looks like an event her publicity person talked her into. They had a team of designers and cleaners come in and fluff the place for this shoot, so the limes, the flower bouquet and the delicate furniture placed outside was all a bit of a surprise for her. She doesn't seem thrilled about doing any of this, so she's just riffing in a stream of consciousness manner.

She's true Hollywood Royalty™ and likely has lived her whole life with assistants, cleaning staff, cooks, personal shoppers, etc and just takes all that stuff for granted.
posted by SoberHighland at 9:18 AM on January 29, 2021 [11 favorites]

"ORAL ALLERGY SYNDROME is a THING."

And it can crop up at any point in your life. My spouse suddenly could no longer eat zucchini, even when cooked. My daughter has a seemingly ever-expanding list of foods that bring on the syndrome, many of them foods she adored, apples, shrimp, certain berries and, yes, zucchini.
posted by bz at 9:19 AM on January 29, 2021 [4 favorites]

I think she likes to troll, which can be either good or bad. Apparently for a while she used to use George Clooney's name to get restaurant reservations.
posted by toastyk at 9:20 AM on January 29, 2021 [6 favorites]

Isn't kiwi fruit the usual thing many people describe as being mouth-allergic to? My wife cannot tolerate it because it makes her mouth and throat prickle, and the sensation lasts for her well after she eats it. I get a mild sensation like that from kiwi, but to me it's part of what makes it a nice thing to eat.

"Allergy" has become a sort of catch-all term that many people use for various reasons. For instance, in the AA world, people sometimes claim they have an "allergy" to alcohol, when that is likely not the case at all, in the true meaning of allergy.
posted by SoberHighland at 9:24 AM on January 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

I think she likes to troll, which can be either good or bad.

Here I think it's low key amusing in how she seems to want to point out the least "good housekeeping" elements of her home/life and express the most pleasure at the things that are least part of her day to day, like the limes AD surely put there.
posted by gusottertrout at 9:27 AM on January 29, 2021 [3 favorites]

As someone unwillingly fascinated by her (I try to dislike celebrity spawn for at least 10 years as a rule, but I started really enjoying her by Bad Times at the El Royale), I think the "trolling" thing is on point. Celebrity journalism is increasingly like tech or business journalism -- its sycophancy will bore you to tears. People like Robert Pattinson and Dakota Johnson have enough potential for chaos that they make tedious things interesting.
posted by grandiloquiet at 9:29 AM on January 29, 2021 [10 favorites]

I saw the AD video a couple months ago and was charmed by her house. There are photos out there of what it looked like when it was originally built and what it (the pool area anyway) looked like when she bought it and it’s so much more interesting now, especially the landscaping. Note, her Fallon interview was not streamed from that house. I hope she’s kept it though.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 9:29 AM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

There are limes, damned limes, and a star's tics.
posted by benzenedream at 9:43 AM on January 29, 2021 [8 favorites]

Oh, and there's absolutely no way anyone could convince me that the whole reason she has a Barb doll isn't just because she was forgotten and left in the Upside Down. That's totally why.
posted by gusottertrout at 9:45 AM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Johnson, who also explained that the platter of limes was just set dressing, then told Fallon that she's actually allergic to limes, explaining it all in the most Dakota Johnson way possible: a confusing tangent about how honeydew melons make her tongue itch. Fallon, trying to get her back on course, asked, "But limes do the same thing?" She stared off into the distance, pondering the follow-up like she wasn't expecting the question, then said: "Kind of."

I don't have any particular interest in Dakota Johnson as an actress or celebrity, but I didn't find any of this footage quite as puzzling or ditzy as the author of this article did. Ms. Johnson seemed to me to have decided to behave like a regular person giving a tour of her house and being interviewed, rather than doing a Polished Celebrity Interview Complete With Prepared Vignette routine that is expected in either circumstance (especially the latter.)

Anyway, the confusing tangent she made on The Tonight Show was about limes and honeydew being green. Because in the AD interview she went on about loving green things, but these are green things that she can't love, but she overcommitted to the tangent by clarifying that honeydew is only green on the inside (and beige on the outside) -- and by that point, Fallon was totally lost. So he countered with the "you don't eat the outside of the honeydew" as he desperately tried to understand WTF she was talking about and she gave the distinctive head-shake of a person who realizes that a conversation has become surreally silly. Again. (In a way that felt very familiar to me as an adult woman with ADD, so, maybe I'm projecting. Anyone else?)
posted by desuetude at 10:09 AM on January 29, 2021 [8 favorites]

Pulling Apart Dakota Johnson’s Glorious Web Of Lies

Glorious Web of Limes, more like.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:26 AM on January 29, 2021 [4 favorites]

Glorious Web of Limes

Which would also be a good user name.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:30 AM on January 29, 2021 [4 favorites]

I kind of feel like surreal silliness is the point, but maybe I'm projecting now. To me a plausible explanation could be that she does have kind of gonzo tastes but she also doesn't want to expose too much of herself, and this public persona is an act she's decided she can maintain. It exposes some of her real tastes, but it also surrounds everything with enough doubt that the true can hide in plain sight among the fanciful. But I don't know her, I'm not her analyst, I'm not an expert in Diagnosing People On The Internet, I'm just someone who's kind of private but who also likes surrealism.

And who wouldn't be delighted to find beautiful flowers that they didn't buy or place, but which do, in fact, look nice where they are? And not one, but two bowls of limes in the kitchen? What I want to know is if the dishes displayed in that cabinet were actually hers, or if they were also placed there by the stylist.
posted by fedward at 11:58 AM on January 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

What I want to know is if the dishes displayed in that cabinet were actually hers, or if they were also placed there by the stylist.

I suspect the stylist did it. They saw the glass fronted cabinets and ran with it. She mentioned she spent time in NYC, so in NYC terms that kitchen is plenty big, although in general terms, it's tight. The big skylight was gorgeous.
posted by mikelieman at 2:13 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

I liked the house and I still have no idea who she is. I must not see enough movies or something. But yeah, those house tours are always styled to death. I’m sure there were publicists and assistants hovering all over out of view.
posted by misterpatrick at 4:59 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

I still have no idea who she is

She's the daughter of Don Johnson (Miami Vice) and Melanie Griffith (lots of movies). She also does movies. I have only seen one of her movies, but I've heard of her and certainly heard of the Fifty Shades movies. I don't know much about her, but this whole thing makes her seem like a human being who ends up in the public eye and maybe doesn't always want to be, and so things go a bit awry at times.

Seems charming. Also, nice little kitchen.

Limes are great. Although I'm more likely to sugar and eat a slice of lemon than a lime, but g&t is nothing without the lime so it is essential.
posted by hippybear at 6:08 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Here's the Tonight Show interview in question.
posted by Umami Dearest at 6:27 PM on January 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Welp, this is literally the most trivial thing I've seen in the 2020's.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:24 PM on January 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

I can’t believe an actress was acting, though her improv is superb. She reminds me of every girl I had a crush on in my 20s only to find out they are dating a douchey musicians and I have some boring corporate job. Ugh and she’s dating a musician, the guy from Coldplay to make it worse.

I have some friends who through self delusion or playing along with the bit think it is real. Even the George Clooney story is charming but realistically if a regular person and not a beautiful Hollywood actress showed up the act would probably not work.

She has the confidence only attractiveness, talent and growing up with celebrity parents can bring. It isn’t cocky, it is like a cooler version of what Zooey Deschanel tried to be.

The carpet in the kitchen still bugs me. Any key to knowing this was heavily made over by set designers was the fact that normal homes, even those of celebrities have wall warts and iPhone cables strewn everywhere.

Even the “I don’t like limes” thing in my opinion is a bit. We shouldn’t look too deep into it. Dean Martin pioneered this, it isn’t new. I’m more surprised she was in a series of Cinemax softcore porn and managed to turn it into a quirky Patti Smith homebody image. Even 20 years ago she’d be typecast, pretty cool how far we’ve come.
posted by geoff. at 2:49 AM on January 30, 2021 [1 favorite]

Wait, are people mad about the lime things? or just amused? I think it's hilarious!

The most important thing is that I love her house! It seems really cozy. I want a green kitchen with glass front doors, a bunch of fancy rugs, lots of neat art on the walls, and a place for limes!
posted by vespabelle at 7:52 AM on January 30, 2021 [2 favorites]

> "Allergy" has become a sort of catch-all term that many people use for various reasons.

Yes, but oral allergy syndrome people (hello!) aren't being jerks; we do have allergies, just -- weirdly -- not to the kiwi or the walnuts or dark chocolate that we're complaining about in the moment.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:14 PM on January 30, 2021 [2 favorites]

"Dakota, are you just looking at things in the interior design scheme and saying that you love them?"
"I love lime."
"Do you really love the lime, or are you just saying that because you saw it?"
"I love lime. I love lime."
"Okay, I believe you."
"Actually I am allergic to lime."
posted by taquito sunrise at 7:50 PM on January 30, 2021 [1 favorite]

Lemon stealing something something
posted by Jacen at 8:58 PM on January 30, 2021 [2 favorites]

You know what you can mix with all those limes ? Topo Chico . There's a seat right over there at the Wurlitzer piano!
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:49 AM on February 1, 2021