scary nonprofit stories to tell in the dark

October 25, 2021 8:42 AM

From Vu Le at Nonprofit AF: "it’s time for this year’s crop of spooky stories set in our sector"! (Previously.)
posted by brainwane (8 comments total)

Those are, indeed, very scary. Should probably have CW: accounting, grant funding, though.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:05 AM on October 25, 2021 [6 favorites]

> Some say that if you walk by the office and stop to listen, you can hear the nonprofit groan under the weight of its existence, eternally surviving but never really alive.

Oh yeah, that place. My wife used to work there.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:28 AM on October 25, 2021 [7 favorites]

Thanks for posting! Brings up lots of memories. None of them are good.
posted by Not A Thing at 10:50 AM on October 25, 2021 [1 favorite]

I haven’t worked at a nonprofit for a long time, but the nature of my job means I frequently work with nonprofits. These were depressingly accurate, though also funny.

Also:

And then, slowly, it dawned on them, and a sickening chill ran down their spine. No more pajama bottoms or sweatpants, they would have to wear hard pants again. Linh collapsed on the floor, biting their knuckles to contain a silent, anguished scream.

The author has peered into my soul.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:44 AM on October 25, 2021 [6 favorites]

No more pajama bottoms or sweatpants,

For those who wear men's clothes, I have a pair of pants from Pact similar to these (my exact model is discontinued) I can't recommend highly enough. You can't get away with them if your office expects suits, natch, but they pass for slacks well enough if you're spending most of your time driving a desk, and they're as comfy as sweats.
posted by solotoro at 1:06 PM on October 25, 2021 [1 favorite]

We're going into the office one day a week and I've been wearing the exact same outfit every week (skechers go-walk pants, nice top, jacket/blazer thing). Nobody's noticed yet...
posted by mogget at 2:02 PM on October 25, 2021 [4 favorites]

"They said it was funded ...", written in blood on the abandoned non-profit's glass door
posted by scruss at 2:51 PM on October 25, 2021 [1 favorite]

It's the other Nonprofit AF posts that are having me rolling around in my work-at-home pajama bottoms.
Answers on grant reports if nonprofits were brutally honest with funders.

What are some critical lessons you learned? We learned several important lessons, including that it is crucial to get community input and ownership before launching new programs, cultural dynamics affect everything, and that if you don’t take care of mice problems, it may lead to rattlesnake problems when the office is empty for months at a time. But the main lesson we learned is that we’re all exhausted and this system is untenable and rich people should stop putting money into wealth-hoarding vehicles and just pay their taxes.

What are your program priorities for the next period? Our main priority is to ensure that this program remains running. It’s been touch-and-go. Maria, who has been the instrumental program lead, is seriously considering resigning because we don’t have enough funding to pay her what she’s worth. If she leaves, it will cause a severe chain reaction that may cause the implosion of the program. A lot is riding on this $50 gift certificate for food delivery and a virtual thank-you note signed by the rest of the staff and board.

posted by spamandkimchi at 5:35 PM on October 25, 2021 [5 favorites]