You're really different than I expected
January 18, 2022 10:29 AM Subscribe
"Hello, I'm sorry, this is going to sound weird but please give me a chance. When you were eighteen, did you have a childhood friend named Carli that you lost contact with after you left to go to college?"
"Um , hi? Who the fuck is this? Carli?
This is an extremely creepy way to get back in touch if so."
"No, this isn't Carli."
---
This thread is a work of fiction by Azure (@Azure_Husky).
"Um , hi? Who the fuck is this? Carli?
This is an extremely creepy way to get back in touch if so."
"No, this isn't Carli."
---
This thread is a work of fiction by Azure (@Azure_Husky).
Yeah, this is maybe the first thing I have seen on Twitter and thought, "Damn, this is why Twitter exists."
And what a great story, too; wry, warm, honest.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:04 AM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
And what a great story, too; wry, warm, honest.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:04 AM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
This is really really good. But the warning that it’s fiction is especially good 😭
If there isn’t a collection of short stories by different authors in this format yet, there should be. The cues of texting like case, timestamp differentials, emojis and such all have such a particular flavour that we’ve taken so little time to get used to: leveraging those in fiction is a rich vein.
Looking forward to more work like this from Azure.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 11:04 AM on January 18, 2022 [7 favorites]
If there isn’t a collection of short stories by different authors in this format yet, there should be. The cues of texting like case, timestamp differentials, emojis and such all have such a particular flavour that we’ve taken so little time to get used to: leveraging those in fiction is a rich vein.
Looking forward to more work like this from Azure.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 11:04 AM on January 18, 2022 [7 favorites]
Wow. Thank you so much for this. It brings up so many feelings, in such a good, sad, beautiful way.
posted by mediareport at 11:10 AM on January 18, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by mediareport at 11:10 AM on January 18, 2022 [2 favorites]
If there isn’t a collection of short stories by different authors in this format yet, there should be.
A decade ago I tried writing an epistolary short story in the form of a few dozen e-mails back and forth between two people breaking up that presented a very different view of the relationship depending on whether you read them front to back or back to front. I could never quite make it work to my satisfaction, though.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:28 AM on January 18, 2022 [5 favorites]
A decade ago I tried writing an epistolary short story in the form of a few dozen e-mails back and forth between two people breaking up that presented a very different view of the relationship depending on whether you read them front to back or back to front. I could never quite make it work to my satisfaction, though.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:28 AM on January 18, 2022 [5 favorites]
It's not at all in the same vein as this, but if you're looking for internet-era epistolary fiction, here's a horror story presented as a series of tweet threads: cripes does anybody remember Google People
Written by qntm (plus a few other participants), whose work has been the subject of quite a few posts over the years.
posted by teraflop at 11:47 AM on January 18, 2022 [8 favorites]
Written by qntm (plus a few other participants), whose work has been the subject of quite a few posts over the years.
posted by teraflop at 11:47 AM on January 18, 2022 [8 favorites]
I really enjoyed this, and then I hit this screen and couldn't hold back tears. What a wonderful writer and story.
posted by gladly at 11:55 AM on January 18, 2022
posted by gladly at 11:55 AM on January 18, 2022
In an attempt to put in another format for readability I've made this available on a public Facebook post:
8/58 panels in, I’m getting pretty excited about where this is going, then “you must be logged into Facebook to continue”. I’d be happy to sign up for a legit service to read the piece, but a choice of Twitter or Facebook with mandatory log-in? Nope, not a chance.
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 11:58 AM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
8/58 panels in, I’m getting pretty excited about where this is going, then “you must be logged into Facebook to continue”. I’d be happy to sign up for a legit service to read the piece, but a choice of Twitter or Facebook with mandatory log-in? Nope, not a chance.
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 11:58 AM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
Facebook with mandatory log-in
FWIW I can see every panel on FB without logging in. Not sure what might be different between our setups, tho.
posted by wemayfreeze at 12:06 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
FWIW I can see every panel on FB without logging in. Not sure what might be different between our setups, tho.
posted by wemayfreeze at 12:06 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
A decade ago I tried writing an epistolary short story in the form of a few dozen e-mails back and forth between two people breaking up that presented a very different view of the relationship depending on whether you read them front to back or back to front. I could never quite make it work to my satisfaction, though.
posted by ricochet biscuit
Was the short story called “Ricochet Basket?”
posted by flarbuse at 12:08 PM on January 18, 2022
I am not logged in on FB (and I don't know that I have ever been logged in on this machine since I quit using FB several years ago now). I was able to read every panel. Not sure what the diff might be either. (I am using chrome on some variety of mac, but may have a few ad-blocker type extensions around).
If you can find a way to read it, a box and a stick and a string and a bear, it's worth doing.
posted by nat at 12:09 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
If you can find a way to read it, a box and a stick and a string and a bear, it's worth doing.
posted by nat at 12:09 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
OK. I like the story. It got to a point where I was a bit "this is getting kind of long," then it pulled me back in, so, well done.
Twitter is a terrible platform for this, though (I know you mention that above), and I can't imagine Facebook is much better -- I wonder if she could put it into one of those "interactive fiction" formats? I've seen a few stories based on messaging that used that kind of structure.
I mean, at the end of the day, I'm glad it was posted somewhere i could read it.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:19 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
Twitter is a terrible platform for this, though (I know you mention that above), and I can't imagine Facebook is much better -- I wonder if she could put it into one of those "interactive fiction" formats? I've seen a few stories based on messaging that used that kind of structure.
I mean, at the end of the day, I'm glad it was posted somewhere i could read it.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:19 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
Daniel Ortberg had a sweet funny similar story in The Hairpin a while back.
posted by emjaybee at 12:25 PM on January 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 12:25 PM on January 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
This was good. (even if the format sucks.)
I wish it was easier to get people to read things on people's own websites these days, because that could easily have been done as a blog entry and not had to be in a walled garden.
posted by jacquilynne at 12:54 PM on January 18, 2022 [8 favorites]
I wish it was easier to get people to read things on people's own websites these days, because that could easily have been done as a blog entry and not had to be in a walled garden.
posted by jacquilynne at 12:54 PM on January 18, 2022 [8 favorites]
What did "in that timeline am I seriously one of those people who hears a sympathy 'sorry' and misinterprets it to deflect?" mean? It felt like the whitetext person's "it's not your fault" response was a very natural thing to say.
posted by wattle at 1:06 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by wattle at 1:06 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
This is the story on Nitter (Nitter is a web app mirroring Twitter that is less bad)
posted by Monochrome at 1:10 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Monochrome at 1:10 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
The FB post didn’t really help, either. Twitter is about the worst-imaginable medium for long-form material , except maybe something like attaching it to random turtles.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 1:11 PM on January 18, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 1:11 PM on January 18, 2022 [8 favorites]
If you tell someone your tale of woe, and they say "I'm sorry", you already know they didn't literally mean "I am personally apologizing for my role in your situation" but rather "I am sad for you that you are in your situation", so responding to their comments with "It's not your fault" is either just a reflexive thing people say or a deliberate misinterpretation. It's not a response that engages with the content or the emotion of what's been said, it rejects that attempt at sympathy/empathy, so it *is* deflecting away the emotional connection.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:14 PM on January 18, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 1:14 PM on January 18, 2022 [11 favorites]
What did "in that timeline am I seriously one of those people who hears a sympathy 'sorry' and misinterprets it to deflect?" mean? It felt like the whitetext person's "it's not your fault" response was a very natural thing to say.
Some people have this thing where they don't see "sorry" as a sympathetic thing, it's an apologetic thing by default. A lot of the time, we will apologize for things that aren't our fault at all, because we sit here blaming ourselves for everything not-good that happens around us. And it doesn't occur to us that a sympathetic "sorry" is an actual thing. Our entire thing is knowing that this shit is in fact our fault and we want to tell people that it's our fault, not your fault.
I'm one of them, so to me, it was entirely natural to have that point.
I'm also relatively newly out as trans, so this one hit me like someone kicked me in the chest with a pair of weighted boots.
posted by mephron at 1:16 PM on January 18, 2022 [11 favorites]
Some people have this thing where they don't see "sorry" as a sympathetic thing, it's an apologetic thing by default. A lot of the time, we will apologize for things that aren't our fault at all, because we sit here blaming ourselves for everything not-good that happens around us. And it doesn't occur to us that a sympathetic "sorry" is an actual thing. Our entire thing is knowing that this shit is in fact our fault and we want to tell people that it's our fault, not your fault.
I'm one of them, so to me, it was entirely natural to have that point.
I'm also relatively newly out as trans, so this one hit me like someone kicked me in the chest with a pair of weighted boots.
posted by mephron at 1:16 PM on January 18, 2022 [11 favorites]
you already know they didn't literally mean "I am personally apologizing for my role in your situation"
But that's not what's happening emotionally in the story at that point. The physicist *is* personally apologizing, and the non-physicist knows that. Directly.
posted by mediareport at 1:22 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
But that's not what's happening emotionally in the story at that point. The physicist *is* personally apologizing, and the non-physicist knows that. Directly.
posted by mediareport at 1:22 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
(Oops, should have read the bit again before commenting.)
posted by mediareport at 1:25 PM on January 18, 2022
posted by mediareport at 1:25 PM on January 18, 2022
Good stuff. You could squeeze this entire conversation verbatim into Homestuck, Act 6 or later, and nobody would blink an eye. Admittedly in that case the conversation might precede one or another of the variants dying.
posted by one for the books at 1:31 PM on January 18, 2022
posted by one for the books at 1:31 PM on January 18, 2022
But that's not what's happening emotionally in the story at that point. The physicist *is* personally apologizing, and the non-physicist knows that. Directly.
Yeah, that behaviro can be annoying, but, in the story, it's a little bit of character development that helps show the divergence of the two characters.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:46 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
Yeah, that behaviro can be annoying, but, in the story, it's a little bit of character development that helps show the divergence of the two characters.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:46 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
Behavior. "Behaviro" kind of looks like it could be a word, but it's not.
Anyway, I don't think the "I'm sorry" stuff is the part of the story we need to get stuck on.
I like the way it managed to get some humor in among the distress. Like, figuring out how to peer across dimensions is less stressful for some people than seeing a therapist and digging into one's own emotional state. That's both funny and tragic.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:00 PM on January 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
Anyway, I don't think the "I'm sorry" stuff is the part of the story we need to get stuck on.
I like the way it managed to get some humor in among the distress. Like, figuring out how to peer across dimensions is less stressful for some people than seeing a therapist and digging into one's own emotional state. That's both funny and tragic.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:00 PM on January 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
The OP story is great! And "cripes does anybody remember Google People" is really good too.
posted by joannemerriam at 2:31 PM on January 18, 2022
posted by joannemerriam at 2:31 PM on January 18, 2022
What a wonderful story! Thank you for posting it.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 2:42 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 2:42 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
That was very good, thanks for sharing.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:58 PM on January 18, 2022
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:58 PM on January 18, 2022
Oh, this was tremendous.
posted by obfuscation at 4:10 PM on January 18, 2022
posted by obfuscation at 4:10 PM on January 18, 2022
This isn't directly reflective of my experience as a nonbinary trans person in a lot of of ways, but fuck does it hit me hard. And I've read it before, this is like the third time, and I am writing this with tears.
I had a hard time as a young person. A thing in this I definitely connect with is the idea of being the person you'd want someone to be for you.
I can't go back in time, and I've never gotten a text from an alternative version of myself, not unless you count that late night text, sent by a tired but somehow euphoric version of myself, a me I remembered being when I finally realized that yeah, I wasn't just gender non-conforming and queer, I was nonbinary and trans. It was late at night, and I left myself a text message because I was so very afraid I'd forget, or that it wouldn't be true in the morning.
I can try to be something for other folks that I never got, the person I needed that I didn't meet, the help I should have been given, the gentle push I should have got. I can be an ally for folks who aren't like me, work to make sure people ask them what they want and need, amplify their voices.
I just try to be someone that past versions of me, or alternative versions of me, would look up to and admire. Sometimes I think I am.
Thank you brook horse, for the happy cry.
posted by Chrysopoeia at 4:54 PM on January 18, 2022 [19 favorites]
I had a hard time as a young person. A thing in this I definitely connect with is the idea of being the person you'd want someone to be for you.
I can't go back in time, and I've never gotten a text from an alternative version of myself, not unless you count that late night text, sent by a tired but somehow euphoric version of myself, a me I remembered being when I finally realized that yeah, I wasn't just gender non-conforming and queer, I was nonbinary and trans. It was late at night, and I left myself a text message because I was so very afraid I'd forget, or that it wouldn't be true in the morning.
I can try to be something for other folks that I never got, the person I needed that I didn't meet, the help I should have been given, the gentle push I should have got. I can be an ally for folks who aren't like me, work to make sure people ask them what they want and need, amplify their voices.
I just try to be someone that past versions of me, or alternative versions of me, would look up to and admire. Sometimes I think I am.
Thank you brook horse, for the happy cry.
posted by Chrysopoeia at 4:54 PM on January 18, 2022 [19 favorites]
I'm also relatively newly out as trans, so this one hit me like someone kicked me in the chest with a pair of weighted boots.
It was five years ago for me, and same. A lot of tears reading this.
44 years old when I did it. Became me. And I still wonder if this is a dream, and someday I'll wake up. Or if there is some alternate me out there, still dreaming of being a girl.
If readers are wondering if this is a good representation of the experience of many trans women, the answer is yes. Thank you for posting it.
posted by Flight Hardware, do not touch at 5:53 PM on January 18, 2022 [7 favorites]
It was five years ago for me, and same. A lot of tears reading this.
44 years old when I did it. Became me. And I still wonder if this is a dream, and someday I'll wake up. Or if there is some alternate me out there, still dreaming of being a girl.
If readers are wondering if this is a good representation of the experience of many trans women, the answer is yes. Thank you for posting it.
posted by Flight Hardware, do not touch at 5:53 PM on January 18, 2022 [7 favorites]
I'm glad so many people liked it. After posting I considered if I should put a content warning but I couldn't verbalize anything other than, "If you're trans reading this story is like being hit by a truck, but like in a good way," and that didn't seem quite right, haha. (I like Mephron's visualization even better.)
I wrote some soul-baring stuff here and then deleted it but I see you all. Thanks for being you, wherever you are in your journey.
Good stuff. You could squeeze this entire conversation verbatim into Homestuck, Act 6 or later, and nobody would blink an eye. Admittedly in that case the conversation might precede one or another of the variants dying.
Well now I've just been hit by another truck. Driven by juggalos.
posted by brook horse at 6:25 PM on January 18, 2022 [5 favorites]
I wrote some soul-baring stuff here and then deleted it but I see you all. Thanks for being you, wherever you are in your journey.
Good stuff. You could squeeze this entire conversation verbatim into Homestuck, Act 6 or later, and nobody would blink an eye. Admittedly in that case the conversation might precede one or another of the variants dying.
Well now I've just been hit by another truck. Driven by juggalos.
posted by brook horse at 6:25 PM on January 18, 2022 [5 favorites]
Aw, this is really lovely!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:31 PM on January 18, 2022
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:31 PM on January 18, 2022
As a baby trans this made me cry
posted by Canageek at 9:24 PM on January 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Canageek at 9:24 PM on January 18, 2022 [3 favorites]
I couldn't stop reading it. Excellent. Thanks for posting it!
posted by Arctan at 9:46 PM on January 18, 2022
posted by Arctan at 9:46 PM on January 18, 2022
This was very moving. Thank you for posting it!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:19 AM on January 19, 2022
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:19 AM on January 19, 2022
Wow. Another trans person here to say, yep, it was very good. Hit by a truck indeed.
And, as somebody who only transitioned in their forties: it is never too late.
posted by contrapositive at 2:31 AM on January 19, 2022 [8 favorites]
And, as somebody who only transitioned in their forties: it is never too late.
posted by contrapositive at 2:31 AM on January 19, 2022 [8 favorites]
I read this yesterday as I follow the author and wanted to post it here, but forgot, so happy to see it up and liked.
Only thing to add is that this story is eligible for the Hugo Award's short story category, so please do so if you're so minded and a member of this year's, next year's or last year's Worldcon.
posted by MartinWisse at 4:23 AM on January 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
Only thing to add is that this story is eligible for the Hugo Award's short story category, so please do so if you're so minded and a member of this year's, next year's or last year's Worldcon.
posted by MartinWisse at 4:23 AM on January 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
This has been coming back to me over and over since I read it yesterday. I spend a lot of time imagining where I would be if I had transitioned earlier or hadn't transitioned. I have trouble imagining a version of me who was "born" a boy for reasons similar to the incoming texts person in this story.
Thanks for being here, trans mefites.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 5:52 AM on January 19, 2022 [2 favorites]
Thanks for being here, trans mefites.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 5:52 AM on January 19, 2022 [2 favorites]
"being a girl doesn't stop climate change huh"
"I mean not yet, I'll keep trying"
*chef's kiss*
posted by snerson at 7:16 AM on January 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
"I mean not yet, I'll keep trying"
*chef's kiss*
posted by snerson at 7:16 AM on January 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
"it's going to be hard"
"good thing you're strong"
That exchange is really staying with me. A lot.
posted by brainwane at 7:31 AM on January 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
"good thing you're strong"
That exchange is really staying with me. A lot.
posted by brainwane at 7:31 AM on January 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
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A note from the author: posted by brook horse at 10:30 AM on January 18, 2022 [2 favorites]