Do this, don't do that, can't you read
February 1, 2022 6:10 AM Subscribe
A new Instagram by NYC photographer Nicolas Heller showcases all the discarded and hastily taped signs that keep New York limping along: plaintive, brusque, vengeful, funny, and surprising.
The Pandemic has been hard on us all, but You Need To Stop.
YOU'RE BEING SCAMMED.
Is your grandpa Jewish, single and looking for love?
Staff Only!
The Pandemic has been hard on us all, but You Need To Stop.
YOU'RE BEING SCAMMED.
Is your grandpa Jewish, single and looking for love?
Staff Only!
The "Staff Only!" photo is particularly amazing, but everything is wonderful. Thanks for sharing this.
posted by eirias at 6:20 AM on February 1, 2022
posted by eirias at 6:20 AM on February 1, 2022
Like so much now, blocked eventually from viewing this by the Instagram login wall. I refuse to have an account on Zuckergram and you should too.
posted by dno at 6:24 AM on February 1, 2022 [32 favorites]
posted by dno at 6:24 AM on February 1, 2022 [32 favorites]
Yeah, I wish this was on tumblr. Alas.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:30 AM on February 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:30 AM on February 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
Thank you for posting it (though the Insta wall is an issue for many I'm sure... Argh).
"I'm sorry my angel" is one of my favorites, along with "Let kids dream"
Such poetry to be found on the streets of the city.
posted by Flight Hardware, do not touch at 6:47 AM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
"I'm sorry my angel" is one of my favorites, along with "Let kids dream"
Such poetry to be found on the streets of the city.
posted by Flight Hardware, do not touch at 6:47 AM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Those toothbrushes that only allow staphylococcus, so snooty!
posted by Bee'sWing at 7:26 AM on February 1, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by Bee'sWing at 7:26 AM on February 1, 2022 [8 favorites]
no noodles
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:27 AM on February 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:27 AM on February 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
Oh, dear heavens!
I -really- hope that toothbrush is for scrubbing the grout between the tiles...
posted by nathanfhtagn at 7:27 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I -really- hope that toothbrush is for scrubbing the grout between the tiles...
posted by nathanfhtagn at 7:27 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I laughed at the first three, clicked “staff only,” got the instagram login screen, and thought, “well, that’s meta-humor.” But apparently it’s just that I can only look at three pictures, not that only staff can view that photo.
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 7:55 AM on February 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 7:55 AM on February 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
Yeah, I can't see any of these through the paywall.
posted by AlSweigart at 8:25 AM on February 1, 2022
posted by AlSweigart at 8:25 AM on February 1, 2022
ATTETION COSTUMERS is also pretty fantastic. (For those who can’t see it, it is a sign explaining their ad a typo in the price of TROPINANA orange juice.)
posted by snofoam at 8:25 AM on February 1, 2022
posted by snofoam at 8:25 AM on February 1, 2022
requiring a login to view
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 8:26 AM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 8:26 AM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
That rat one is pretty amazing. What is up with that? What on earth could explain it?
"This is a rat free zone. If you do business with the rat, please continue to do so and stay out of here. You are not welcome in here."
posted by Zumbador at 8:30 AM on February 1, 2022
"This is a rat free zone. If you do business with the rat, please continue to do so and stay out of here. You are not welcome in here."
posted by Zumbador at 8:30 AM on February 1, 2022
We get it; not sure why we need more than one comment pointing out that Instagram needs a login.
But also, here, have a mirror.
posted by sagc at 8:31 AM on February 1, 2022 [17 favorites]
But also, here, have a mirror.
posted by sagc at 8:31 AM on February 1, 2022 [17 favorites]
Wow the Vincent Gallo thing I had no idea.
posted by latkes at 9:11 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by latkes at 9:11 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Why does the spanish version of this sign get a Please and Thanks, but english not so much?
posted by hydra77 at 9:11 AM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by hydra77 at 9:11 AM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
That rat one is pretty amazing. What is up with that? What on earth could explain it?
"This is a rat free zone. If you do business with the rat, please continue to do so and stay out of here. You are not welcome in here."
Only literate rats are banned; illiterate rats are still welcome?
posted by cynical pinnacle at 10:44 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
"This is a rat free zone. If you do business with the rat, please continue to do so and stay out of here. You are not welcome in here."
Only literate rats are banned; illiterate rats are still welcome?
posted by cynical pinnacle at 10:44 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
If you do business with the rat, please continue to do so
They're business rivals and once you've chosen sides you can't switch?
posted by Emmy Rae at 10:54 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
They're business rivals and once you've chosen sides you can't switch?
posted by Emmy Rae at 10:54 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
HELLO CLEVELAND!
WE! ARE! L E N G T H S A U S A G E !!!!!!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 11:02 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
WE! ARE! L E N G T H S A U S A G E !!!!!!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 11:02 AM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
how do mems work? please memail me
posted by nikoniko at 12:41 PM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by nikoniko at 12:41 PM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
You know this is what future archeologists are going to find, and judge us by, right?
posted by The Power Nap at 12:58 PM on February 1, 2022
posted by The Power Nap at 12:58 PM on February 1, 2022
I personally observed Dan "Looking for a Girlfriend/Job" Perino taping up a "Looking for a Girlfriend" sign in front of my apartment in the Village in 2014. Idk what his deal is, but boy does he have sticktoitiveness.
posted by naoko at 1:13 PM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by naoko at 1:13 PM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Naoko, I've seen him putting those up (including ones where he offered to hang your flyers) as well! He was alone...
posted by AJaffe at 1:50 PM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by AJaffe at 1:50 PM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
When I was at NYU in the middle 1990s, I got in the habit of printing out single inscrutable words five pages long and taping them up in my dorm window facing the street. NYU itself wasn't a good fit for me, but NYC was a good place to be a weirdo.
posted by jocelmeow at 2:10 PM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by jocelmeow at 2:10 PM on February 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
how do mems work?
Excellently!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 2:32 PM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Excellently!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 2:32 PM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Not to shitpost but "let's take pictures of people's signs" is a rite of passage for any fresh young city photographer no?
posted by aspersioncast at 3:19 PM on February 1, 2022
posted by aspersioncast at 3:19 PM on February 1, 2022
ATTENTION COSTUMERS
posted by JHarris at 4:25 PM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by JHarris at 4:25 PM on February 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Love this -- thanks for sharing. Every once in a while I'll run across an account like this that makes me wish I kept my Instagram.
posted by MikeTheJanitor at 6:37 AM on February 2, 2022
posted by MikeTheJanitor at 6:37 AM on February 2, 2022
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posted by fight or flight at 6:16 AM on February 1, 2022 [5 favorites]