He mostly spits apples and humps

February 20, 2022 10:11 PM

Did Chris Kattan pen a reimagining of Peter Sellers' Being There with his "sexually charged, apple-fiending, monkey-like character" Mr. Peepers as the lead role? Perhaps so: Peepers, a canticle [Scribd, requires login; archive.org, imperfect formatting but absurdity intact]

Alas, it turns out he actually did not. This strange tale originally shared with us in 2012 via Stitcherbeast.

posted by youarenothere (33 comments total)

Also failed in development over the decades:
Jane Eyre, You Ignorant Slut
The Blues Brothers Karamazov
The Great Gumtsby, Dammit
John Grisham's The Recently Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
For Whom the More Cowbell Tolls
Debbie Downer By Law
Mom Jeannes D'Arc
The Stefonfire of the Vanities
Francis Ford Coppola's The Californians
posted by bartleby at 11:10 PM on February 20, 2022 [31 favorites]

🤣😎🤗
Whoa, whoa, oh
posted by clavdivs at 11:16 PM on February 20, 2022

James Clavells' Shogun un arino
posted by clavdivs at 11:22 PM on February 20, 2022 [1 favorite]

Landsharkspeare in Love
Colon Blow Me By Your Name
The Prime of Mom Jeans Brody
posted by oulipian at 11:52 PM on February 20, 2022 [5 favorites]

Portrait of a Church Lady
posted by thivaia at 12:32 AM on February 21, 2022 [2 favorites]

Bassomattica
posted by clavdivs at 12:33 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]

AV Club: To that writer we say the world demands a Midnight Cowboy starring Mango.

Last Mango In Paris, surely?
posted by mubba at 3:22 AM on February 21, 2022 [13 favorites]

I would absolutely 100% watch the hell out of The Blues Brothers Karamazov.
posted by mhoye at 5:59 AM on February 21, 2022 [4 favorites]

most of the good literary band names, like Universal Thump, have already been taken, it'd be a pity if no one has implemented the BBK yet
posted by thelonius at 6:20 AM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]

These are all answers for a Jeopardy category, aren’t they?
posted by Thorzdad at 6:26 AM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]

Who’s Afraid of Happy Fun Ball was destined to be great.

Bag of Glass was also going to be great, but the company went broke.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 6:39 AM on February 21, 2022 [5 favorites]

Bad Idea Genes is a great title for a clone thriller.
posted by thivaia at 6:47 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]

Sofa King Lear
posted by The Bellman at 7:36 AM on February 21, 2022 [5 favorites]

Don Quixote, Motivational Speaker
posted by Hardcore Poser at 7:50 AM on February 21, 2022 [2 favorites]

Being There trivia: bassist Oteil Burbridge played one of the street kids in the "message for Raphael" scene. He and his brother Kofi were students at the DC performing arts magnet school, and that is where they went for extras.
posted by thelonius at 8:04 AM on February 21, 2022

Steve Martin’s What the Hell Is That Thing should be the next Waiting for Godoy.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 8:28 AM on February 21, 2022

If you haven't seen Being There, I recommend you do, but stop it right before the ending credits roll. Go back and finish watching the next day if you like.
posted by credulous at 8:51 AM on February 21, 2022

Looking For Mr. Goat Boy
The Last Dieter
posted by mubba at 9:37 AM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]

Touch My 12 Monkeys
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:48 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]

Ocean's 11-Timers Club
posted by LionIndex at 9:55 AM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]

Strictly Happy Fun Ballroom

Apocalypse Now Is The Time On Sprockets When We Dance

Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videodromes
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:12 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]

2001 Ways to Leave Your Lover
Pump up the Volume of My Voice
The Elephant Anchorman
Colonel Angus: Coming Home
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 10:18 AM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]

Mr. Short-Term Memory's Opus
posted by LionIndex at 10:41 AM on February 21, 2022 [2 favorites]

Keanu Reeves, Crispin Glover, Dennis Hopper, and Chris Farley star in A Van Down By The River's Edge
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:51 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by Theodoric of York;

The Killer Colonel Angus

Pumping Up with Hans and Franz Kafka

Wayne's World Is Not Enough
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:55 AM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]

Oh, and of course: The Sump'n Clause
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:57 AM on February 21, 2022

Phantom of the Opera Man
Spirit: Stallion of the Simmer Down Now
No Coke, Papillion!
Toonces, the cat who could Driver
posted by bartleby at 11:14 AM on February 21, 2022 [2 favorites]

Weekend Update At Bernie's

Citizen Cone
posted by Catblack at 11:58 AM on February 21, 2022 [2 favorites]

Makin’ Away [heartwarming coming of age story about the “makin’ copies” guy, whose working class father can’t understand his passion for Xerox machines and harassing people]
posted by mubba at 12:54 PM on February 21, 2022 [3 favorites]

The Christmas Spectacular: Starring the Radio City Sprockettes!
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 1:30 PM on February 21, 2022

No cocaine cowboys, Pepsi.

Garrett Morris sings 'dalla sua pace'

wait, that one's real
posted by clavdivs at 3:58 PM on February 21, 2022 [1 favorite]

I maintain that the existence of Garrett Morris' cameo in Ant-Man is one of the greatest crossover events in pop media obscure reference history.
Blessings be upon that man.
posted by bartleby at 10:24 PM on February 21, 2022 [2 favorites]

Funny Strange Days
posted by lkc at 8:49 AM on February 22, 2022