The snack that swims down your throat

March 27, 2022 4:39 PM

From Doug Mack's Snack Stack newsletter, Goldfish-Swallowing: A History: "a practice with a surprisingly long history as prank, hazing ritual, sport, and crowd-gathering spectacle, including a brief moment when it was front-page news despite a looming world war." (TW: animal cruelty)
posted by We had a deal, Kyle (5 comments total)

A high school friend of mine really needed some money so he entered one of those and won (75 goldfish as I recall). He said that after a few (live) goldfish, he figured out a trick: as you place the live goldfish in your mouth by hand, discretely pinch the head to kill it, goes down easier. Sparkly poop for a few days after.
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:04 PM on March 27, 2022 [2 favorites]

Now how many of these competitive eaters can we stuff into a phone booth, or get to sit on top of a flagpole? How many will fit in my trunk so I can sneak them into the drive-in? Must one be a member of the local college's fraternal organization in order to participate?
posted by not_on_display at 9:25 PM on March 27, 2022

In high school I had a '75 Gold Duster with bench seats and we could sneak 5 or 6 into the drive-in, and we did more than a few times. Ah, the old days!
posted by hippybear at 9:30 PM on March 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

My first year of university, I started off living in a dormitory building in which the my floor (the third floor) fancied itself a bootleg fraternity. The first name of the building, named after a Canadian first nations group, started with the letter K and everyone on the third floor thought it was hilarious to be KKK, the "Triple Kappas," so you know this is off to a bad start.

I woke up one Saturday to my roommate enthusiastically participating in a goldfish shot competition: drop a live fish in a shot and see who can do the most without puking.

That's when I decided to put in my dorm transfer request.
posted by wakannai at 3:34 AM on March 28, 2022 [3 favorites]

Fascinating. I think I would sign up for this. It's not at all nice to the fish. But, I also eat sweet shrimp, and fresh fish, and occasionally industrially farmed cows, chickens, and goats, so I'm not sure it's any less ethical than other things I eat. I assume the end is quicker than it is for the shrimp or the chickens.

I've also competed in both greased pole climbing contests and jalapeño eating contests, so maybe that's not surprising. I lost the former because someone with a draw earlier than me won first. But, I made it to the top and ruined the clothes that I wore without any expectation of competing. I won the latter by a factor of 9. A pole-sitting contest sounds a lot more fun now that smartphones and podcasts exist. I still don't entirely understand how waste disposal works, despite being friends with some tree sitters.
posted by eotvos at 8:00 AM on March 28, 2022