In Illinois, A Killer Real Estate Listing
May 8, 2022 3:30 PM Subscribe
From the Zillow Gone Wild files, we have a a house listing which has gone viral thanks to a family prank involving their son and a well executed costume.
In an interview by the local paper, the family discusses the idea behind the prank and listing, and their surprise at it going viral.
In an interview by the local paper, the family discusses the idea behind the prank and listing, and their surprise at it going viral.
I appreciate the deep-fried-memes filters being used appropriately for horror on the outdoor shots.
posted by neuracnu at 3:53 PM on May 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by neuracnu at 3:53 PM on May 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
Most shocking thing is that this house is 170k and 2500+ square feet!
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 3:56 PM on May 8, 2022 [39 favorites]
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 3:56 PM on May 8, 2022 [39 favorites]
He’s a slasher and he must be stopped!
A slasher… of prices.
posted by Slackermagee at 4:11 PM on May 8, 2022 [16 favorites]
A slasher… of prices.
posted by Slackermagee at 4:11 PM on May 8, 2022 [16 favorites]
But how are the schools?
posted by vrakatar at 4:29 PM on May 8, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by vrakatar at 4:29 PM on May 8, 2022 [6 favorites]
The stone/paver work alone in my suburb of NYC would have cost $35,000.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 4:55 PM on May 8, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by JohnnyGunn at 4:55 PM on May 8, 2022 [5 favorites]
When I was house-shopping I expressed my contempt for staging to my agent, who then went mute in a way I recognized: I realized I'd blundered into a sensitive area. I consider it manipulative advertising which shouldn't be necessary but as my link indicates it's considered a requirement in the world of real estate. I wonder what the REAs think about this type of staging. If it works, then we'll probably be seeing a lot more of it.
posted by Rash at 4:55 PM on May 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Rash at 4:55 PM on May 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
Most shocking thing is that this house is 170k and 2500+ square feet!
It's a town of ~6000 people with like 50 miles of farmland between it and the nearest town of any size, and that's Springfield.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:15 PM on May 8, 2022 [12 favorites]
It's a town of ~6000 people with like 50 miles of farmland between it and the nearest town of any size, and that's Springfield.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:15 PM on May 8, 2022 [12 favorites]
(faints in Denver real estate)
posted by cyndigo at 5:36 PM on May 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by cyndigo at 5:36 PM on May 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
The fuck is with that kitchen island? The entire kitchen layout is absurd.
posted by SansPoint at 5:57 PM on May 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by SansPoint at 5:57 PM on May 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
Most shocking thing is that this house is 170k and 2500+ square feet!
It's deep in the heart of nowhere. I'm saying this as someone who went to college in Champaign and lived in Kankakee for 5 years: Buy that house and pretty soon you'll be yearning for the masked serial killer to come finish you off.
posted by Daily Alice at 5:58 PM on May 8, 2022 [35 favorites]
It's deep in the heart of nowhere. I'm saying this as someone who went to college in Champaign and lived in Kankakee for 5 years: Buy that house and pretty soon you'll be yearning for the masked serial killer to come finish you off.
posted by Daily Alice at 5:58 PM on May 8, 2022 [35 favorites]
The town should claim to be the first town you can pay property taxes in bitcoin then turn all their house listing photos into NFTs. Then partner with Yuga Labs to start a Bored Ape Farmhouse series and give a bunch of tax abatements to say like decentralized farmland or something. Call it "Silicon Prairie" and next thing you know you'll have Elon Musk tweeting, "Next Tesla factory in Carlinville? Hmmmm" and then that $170k house is $870k and everyone is complaining about the lack of affordable housing.
posted by geoff. at 6:08 PM on May 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by geoff. at 6:08 PM on May 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
I think the town should do whatever is least like that.
posted by solarion at 6:38 PM on May 8, 2022 [20 favorites]
posted by solarion at 6:38 PM on May 8, 2022 [20 favorites]
geoff: Please put down the Lathe of Heaven
posted by SansPoint at 6:38 PM on May 8, 2022 [19 favorites]
posted by SansPoint at 6:38 PM on May 8, 2022 [19 favorites]
burn all houses
posted by glonous keming at 7:12 PM on May 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by glonous keming at 7:12 PM on May 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
Most shocking thing is that this house is 170k and 2500+ square feet!.
I owned a brick two flat in one of the larger towns in that quadrant of the state. Not awesome shape but the roof didn't leak, the windows mostly sealed, nice intact woodwork. Twenty, thirty grand and it would have been damn sharp. But that would have been more than I paid for the house, and more than I'd ever get out of it.
posted by wotsac at 7:18 PM on May 8, 2022
I owned a brick two flat in one of the larger towns in that quadrant of the state. Not awesome shape but the roof didn't leak, the windows mostly sealed, nice intact woodwork. Twenty, thirty grand and it would have been damn sharp. But that would have been more than I paid for the house, and more than I'd ever get out of it.
posted by wotsac at 7:18 PM on May 8, 2022
I'll be honest: I wanted a little more. There were 79 photos, and Michael Myers appears in four of the first six. It's clear by the time you get to the thirteenth photo that, oh hey, Michael Myers is all over this house. So what do they do with the other 66 photos? Oh, just the exact same thing, Michael Myers standing in an otherwise empty room. This would have been funny if there were only 30 or so. With 79, I need some sort of narrative. They had plenty of time to develop a plot. B-
posted by kevinbelt at 7:30 PM on May 8, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by kevinbelt at 7:30 PM on May 8, 2022 [12 favorites]
Also, a "Welcome to Poundtown" sign with Michael Myers under it would have been pretty funny. Another missed opportunity.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:31 PM on May 8, 2022 [14 favorites]
posted by kevinbelt at 7:31 PM on May 8, 2022 [14 favorites]
'Love Cats? Probably Not As Much As the Seller of This Unbelievable Home.'
posted by clavdivs at 7:31 PM on May 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 7:31 PM on May 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
Just looking at those cat house pics are making my eyes itchy.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 8:32 PM on May 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Big Al 8000 at 8:32 PM on May 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
Honestly, the serial killer doesn’t really distract from the absolutely bananas interior renovations done to that poor house.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 8:34 PM on May 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Big Al 8000 at 8:34 PM on May 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
It's such an alien thing for people to make an effort or have to try gimmicks to sell houses, where I am the boom means nobody has to try any of this stuff. The agent takes a phone picture in the front door, maybe with the lights on, and puts an ad up. Two bedrooms, kitchen and a toilet, it's $2.3 million estimated (which means at auction it'll be $2.8). Is there a murderer in it? Maybe. Does it say so on the spec? Anyway what do you care? Oh it's just on two o'clock, the price guide is now $2.4m. OK yes, there is a murderer but you can get rid of him after purchase and settlement. Please register your interest. Not you Jason.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 8:52 PM on May 8, 2022 [9 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 8:52 PM on May 8, 2022 [9 favorites]
After he washed his hands, he made a clean getaway.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:15 PM on May 8, 2022
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:15 PM on May 8, 2022
ugh ugh ugh elbow sandpaper throughout ugh
posted by flabdablet at 9:35 PM on May 8, 2022
posted by flabdablet at 9:35 PM on May 8, 2022
What is there for a serial killer to even do in such a lifeless looking house? Staging matters! Particularly when try to lure victims.
posted by srboisvert at 1:56 AM on May 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by srboisvert at 1:56 AM on May 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
This entry in the Halloween franchise is better than average, especially that early 2000s one.
The idea that it's a "prank" must be a Carlinville thing though.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 2:55 AM on May 9, 2022
The idea that it's a "prank" must be a Carlinville thing though.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 2:55 AM on May 9, 2022
pay property taxes in bitcoin then turn all their house listing photos into NFTs
The real horror is always in the comments.
posted by condour75 at 4:00 AM on May 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
The real horror is always in the comments.
posted by condour75 at 4:00 AM on May 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
Having just finished the three-episode Netflix documentary about John Wayne Gacy, Michael Myers is not who I expected to see in costume in the photos of the Illinois real estate listing, but the listing wasn't for Gacy's old address.
posted by emelenjr at 4:07 AM on May 9, 2022
posted by emelenjr at 4:07 AM on May 9, 2022
Most shocking thing is that this house is 170k and 2500+ square feet!.
I grew up in Springfield and inherited a share of several houses there, and real estate in the area is unbelievably cheap. The downside is you have to live in Springfield. I remember a kind of scandal a few years ago when the newly elected governor decided not to move to Springfield to live in the governor's mansion there. I get it.
Springfield would be better than Carlinville though.
posted by FencingGal at 4:16 AM on May 9, 2022
I grew up in Springfield and inherited a share of several houses there, and real estate in the area is unbelievably cheap. The downside is you have to live in Springfield. I remember a kind of scandal a few years ago when the newly elected governor decided not to move to Springfield to live in the governor's mansion there. I get it.
Springfield would be better than Carlinville though.
posted by FencingGal at 4:16 AM on May 9, 2022
Those photos are so overprocessed I don't even understand what they're showing. Is it a house? Is it an undiscovered Mondrian? Did Salvador Dali discover the concept of a ruler? We just don't know.
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:48 AM on May 9, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:48 AM on May 9, 2022 [4 favorites]
Did the Halloween creepy music jump into anyone else's head while looking at this? Is it... is it just me?
posted by ensign_ricky at 6:46 AM on May 9, 2022
posted by ensign_ricky at 6:46 AM on May 9, 2022
But how are the schools?
They're within walking-extremely-slow distance.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:25 AM on May 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
They're within walking-extremely-slow distance.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:25 AM on May 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
I've never been to Illinois, but I believe Carlinville is right down the road from Haddonfield.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:31 AM on May 9, 2022
posted by kirkaracha at 7:31 AM on May 9, 2022
There were multiple carpeted bathrooms? Right? Or is the floor kind of rough and fuzzy?
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:46 PM on May 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:46 PM on May 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
murderer only for scale, not included in sale
posted by ewok_academy at 7:20 PM on May 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by ewok_academy at 7:20 PM on May 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
I just can't with the over-sharpened photos. they hurts my eyes.
posted by hydra77 at 11:13 AM on May 10, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by hydra77 at 11:13 AM on May 10, 2022 [1 favorite]
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The next step would be a storyline. Like a killer garden gnome chasing someone through the house. There’s a nsfw Reddit photo post with a hilarious bit about gnomes.
posted by leotrotsky at 3:49 PM on May 8, 2022 [3 favorites]