"Bold New Project or Crass Money Grab?"
June 14, 2022 7:05 AM Subscribe
"LIV Golf is supercharging the professional golf landscape and creating value for fans and players alike."
The new series is backed by the Saudi sovereign wealth fund. Organizers include golfer Greg Norman. Phil Mickelson, who is also involved, described the Saudis as 'scary motherfuckers.' Jamal Khashoggi's widow wants LIV players banned from PGA events for 'supporting murderers,' and the PGA has suspended all 17 participants in the first LIV event. CBS's Jim Nantz described the winner of that event thusly: "Charl Schwartzel with his first win of any kind in six years, ranked 126th in the world, he was the victor of this 54-hole event of the tour that’s Saudi backed." Of the 8 events in the inaugural LIV tour, two take place at Trump golf courses, which the PGA stopped using after January 6. Is professional golf at its breaking point?
The new series is backed by the Saudi sovereign wealth fund. Organizers include golfer Greg Norman. Phil Mickelson, who is also involved, described the Saudis as 'scary motherfuckers.' Jamal Khashoggi's widow wants LIV players banned from PGA events for 'supporting murderers,' and the PGA has suspended all 17 participants in the first LIV event. CBS's Jim Nantz described the winner of that event thusly: "Charl Schwartzel with his first win of any kind in six years, ranked 126th in the world, he was the victor of this 54-hole event of the tour that’s Saudi backed." Of the 8 events in the inaugural LIV tour, two take place at Trump golf courses, which the PGA stopped using after January 6. Is professional golf at its breaking point?
I'm not sure that's really here or there, since even compared to other golf tournaments, LIV is reprehensible.
posted by sagc at 7:08 AM on June 14, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by sagc at 7:08 AM on June 14, 2022 [12 favorites]
Phil Mickelson has reduced himself to a human NFT.
posted by SPrintF at 7:09 AM on June 14, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 7:09 AM on June 14, 2022 [6 favorites]
“I don’t condone human rights violations at all,” Mickelson said, with a look on his face that suggested he was trying to choke down smuggled diamonds.
This Sally Jenkins piece in the Post was a delight.
posted by a complicated history at 7:25 AM on June 14, 2022 [16 favorites]
This Sally Jenkins piece in the Post was a delight.
posted by a complicated history at 7:25 AM on June 14, 2022 [16 favorites]
You know what would really supercharge golf? 48 players! One winner! Tournament is held in a pit! Players are not discouraged from beating each other senseless with their clubs! If you can knock an opponent's eyeball directly out their skull into the hole, it's an instant win! GOLF HAS NEVER BEEN THIS EXTREME [monster truck noises]
posted by phooky at 7:27 AM on June 14, 2022 [29 favorites]
posted by phooky at 7:27 AM on June 14, 2022 [29 favorites]
It's just a straight-up cash grab by A) younger golfers who think they're never going to make the top tier of the PGA but will attract enough notoriety to make up for it later and 2) senior guys who think their reputation will survive the hit and they'll eventually be welcomed back into the PGA once they've collected enough blood money blood-soaked oil money blood-soaked air-polluting journalist-murdering woman-hating LGBTQ-hanging money.
Sadly, both groups are probably right.
posted by Etrigan at 7:29 AM on June 14, 2022 [11 favorites]
Sadly, both groups are probably right.
posted by Etrigan at 7:29 AM on June 14, 2022 [11 favorites]
Before the Trump presidency, golf was mostly ignored. Some right-on people might have pointed out that the space would be better used for housing, but that was easy enough to lump in with objections to any frivolity in a world where hunger exists, but most people probably didn't have opinions on it; if pressed, they might say it was a bit naff, or something rich old guys play. But then, history happened, and now golf is a symbol of injustice, with every golf course a Bastille to be stormed and turned into a public sex forest. As such, the odious journalist-dismembering, Yemen-bombing, atheist-executing MbS becoming the new face of golf is very much on brand, to the point where one may wonder if the writers are being a bit too on the nose in setting up the heels.
posted by acb at 7:30 AM on June 14, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by acb at 7:30 AM on June 14, 2022 [6 favorites]
Don’t discount it’s also scheme by the best golfers to force the PGA to increase its payouts structure to give more of its money to the best players.
posted by jmauro at 7:32 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by jmauro at 7:32 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Is it, though?
Tiger Woods was offered what's described as a 'high nine figure' payout to play the LIV tour, and he declined. Here's a list of the top-ranked golfers in the world. The highest-ranked golfer participating in the LIV tour is #15, and only four players from the top 50 are on it.
too on the nose in setting up the heels.
A newly-bearded Phil Mickelson in sponsor-less black and gray clothing, for example.
posted by box at 7:41 AM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
Tiger Woods was offered what's described as a 'high nine figure' payout to play the LIV tour, and he declined. Here's a list of the top-ranked golfers in the world. The highest-ranked golfer participating in the LIV tour is #15, and only four players from the top 50 are on it.
too on the nose in setting up the heels.
A newly-bearded Phil Mickelson in sponsor-less black and gray clothing, for example.
posted by box at 7:41 AM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
Shotgun start is where you put a team on every hole and they all start simultaneously. Speeds up the game compared to every team waiting to tee off on Hole #1.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:17 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:17 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
All of the players start at the same time, but start on different holes. So no 1-18
posted by Windopaene at 8:17 AM on June 14, 2022
posted by Windopaene at 8:17 AM on June 14, 2022
Hopefully not a derail, but there seem to be relevant similarities between LIV's goals and tactics and those of soccer's (so far) ill fated ESL.
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 8:18 AM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 8:18 AM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
Reading that interview shows me what it looks like when the press actually does the right thing and grills someone who deserves a grilling, rather than lob softball questions and call their platforming "maintaining objectivity."
posted by AlSweigart at 8:20 AM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by AlSweigart at 8:20 AM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
This is all happening at a really precarious time in foreign relations, which makes it even more fascinating.
Biden's on his way over to make nice because we need the cheaper gasoline before the midterms so any turbulence in any of this is going to resonate all over the place.
Still a bunch of fucking murderers though. It all makes me sick.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:23 AM on June 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
Biden's on his way over to make nice because we need the cheaper gasoline before the midterms so any turbulence in any of this is going to resonate all over the place.
Still a bunch of fucking murderers though. It all makes me sick.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:23 AM on June 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
You know what would really supercharge golf?
I always thought it would be more interesting if players were allowed to block each other’s shots.
I don’t play golf or have any particular interest in it, but living in Augusta, Georgia makes it hard to avoid. I agree that this smacks of greed on the part of some players, but I have to wonder how much money they want? It’s not like the 1950s, when pro golfers had to consistently finish in the top 5 in order to make a living at it. A colleague’s son is a PGA golfer; a solid performer that has won a few times, but never won a major. He is in his 40s, so probably on the downhill side of his career. I knew he did well enough to live in the same neighborhood as Tiger, but was surprised to learn from his Wikipedia page that he has earned 38 million dollars in purses. And then he earns a good bit of sponsor money on top of that. How greedy do you have to be to not be willing to get even a fraction of that, ostensibly for playing a game that you enjoy? And to compromise your morals on top of that? I knew some players have a reputation for being jerks (such as the aforementioned Tiger Woods ), but this makes it look like jerkitude is the default personality type for pro golfers.
posted by TedW at 8:28 AM on June 14, 2022 [7 favorites]
I always thought it would be more interesting if players were allowed to block each other’s shots.
I don’t play golf or have any particular interest in it, but living in Augusta, Georgia makes it hard to avoid. I agree that this smacks of greed on the part of some players, but I have to wonder how much money they want? It’s not like the 1950s, when pro golfers had to consistently finish in the top 5 in order to make a living at it. A colleague’s son is a PGA golfer; a solid performer that has won a few times, but never won a major. He is in his 40s, so probably on the downhill side of his career. I knew he did well enough to live in the same neighborhood as Tiger, but was surprised to learn from his Wikipedia page that he has earned 38 million dollars in purses. And then he earns a good bit of sponsor money on top of that. How greedy do you have to be to not be willing to get even a fraction of that, ostensibly for playing a game that you enjoy? And to compromise your morals on top of that? I knew some players have a reputation for being jerks (such as the aforementioned Tiger Woods ), but this makes it look like jerkitude is the default personality type for pro golfers.
posted by TedW at 8:28 AM on June 14, 2022 [7 favorites]
if players were allowed to block each other’s shots.
See, this I like! Now we're talking about a sport with more action and less teeth. You're speaking my language!
Whenever I think about "what changes could they make to golf that would make it interesting to me" I always come back to, well, mini golf. Mini golf is fun! Would I watch someone else play mini golf? Luckily, through the magic of VR mini golf and twitch, I can try it today.
posted by phooky at 8:44 AM on June 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
See, this I like! Now we're talking about a sport with more action and less teeth. You're speaking my language!
Whenever I think about "what changes could they make to golf that would make it interesting to me" I always come back to, well, mini golf. Mini golf is fun! Would I watch someone else play mini golf? Luckily, through the magic of VR mini golf and twitch, I can try it today.
posted by phooky at 8:44 AM on June 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
Most sports organizations and the companies that sponsor them are awful. FIFA, NCAA, NBA, NFL, PGA etc. None of them stand up to scrutiny.
posted by interogative mood at 8:45 AM on June 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by interogative mood at 8:45 AM on June 14, 2022 [5 favorites]
As Reasonably Everything Happens pointed out, this is just the Super League for golf. But with Trumpoids.
I hope everyone involved in any capacity is banned from participating in any long of organised golf, forever.
posted by Dysk at 8:58 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
I hope everyone involved in any capacity is banned from participating in any long of organised golf, forever.
posted by Dysk at 8:58 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Apparently Rory McIlroy got pretty snarky about now having more career wins than Greg Norman after his recent victory in the Canadian Open. He seems to be the primary voice of "WTF are you thinking?" among current tour players.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:59 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by jacquilynne at 8:59 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
What is a shotgun start?
Pretty sure it's involved in the playoff events in the league phooky described.
posted by nickmark at 9:10 AM on June 14, 2022
Pretty sure it's involved in the playoff events in the league phooky described.
posted by nickmark at 9:10 AM on June 14, 2022
This Sally Jenkins piece in the Post was a delight.Indeed:
posted by kirkaracha at 9:25 AM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
You may think it’s just plutomania backed by a despotic murderer and sold by duckers and hucksters, but that’s because you haven’t thought as hard as Mickelson has about how to make the world a better place with Saudi-blood-money golf purses.Also, GOP 2024: backed by a despotic murderer and sold by duckers and hucksters.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:25 AM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
Biden's on his way over to make nice because we need the cheaper gasoline before the midterms
“We were going to, in fact, make them pay the price, and make them, in fact, the pariah that they are,” Biden said, but hey, my poll numbers are down and gas prices are up.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:29 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
“We were going to, in fact, make them pay the price, and make them, in fact, the pariah that they are,” Biden said, but hey, my poll numbers are down and gas prices are up.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:29 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
duckers and hucksters
Autocorrect has gone too far
posted by acb at 9:30 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Autocorrect has gone too far
posted by acb at 9:30 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Any time you see someone describe a thing as "creating value", the thing they are selling you is utter bullshit.
posted by caution live frogs at 9:39 AM on June 14, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by caution live frogs at 9:39 AM on June 14, 2022 [11 favorites]
Shows the Fox news - Saudi oil money connection pretty clearly
posted by subdee at 10:48 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by subdee at 10:48 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
players were allowed to block each other’s shots.
So, croquet, but with smaller balls and bigger courses?
posted by jackbishop at 10:50 AM on June 14, 2022
So, croquet, but with smaller balls and bigger courses?
posted by jackbishop at 10:50 AM on June 14, 2022
One extra benefit for the LIV golfers is that the residue from the Saudi blood-money flowing through their hands ensures they have a nice tacky grip on their clubs.
posted by ClingClang at 11:20 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by ClingClang at 11:20 AM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
I always thought it would be more interesting if players were allowed to block each other’s shots.
If you don't catch the annual early-summer show Holey Moley on ABC, I strongly encourage you to add it to your DVR immediately. It's miniature-golf-plus-Wipeout-style-stunts, and Joe Tessitore and Rob Riggle (over)play the commentators, and its all brilliant background fun, and one of the holes is THE DISTRACTOR, where a weird distracting thing is set up just behind the hole the players are trying to putt into. Distractions have included marching bands, live bears, and, most recently, NFL tight end Travis Kelce, who -- without touching either ball or player -- proved so distracting that the players each took more than 20 tries to sink the putt.
posted by Etrigan at 11:47 AM on June 14, 2022 [13 favorites]
If you don't catch the annual early-summer show Holey Moley on ABC, I strongly encourage you to add it to your DVR immediately. It's miniature-golf-plus-Wipeout-style-stunts, and Joe Tessitore and Rob Riggle (over)play the commentators, and its all brilliant background fun, and one of the holes is THE DISTRACTOR, where a weird distracting thing is set up just behind the hole the players are trying to putt into. Distractions have included marching bands, live bears, and, most recently, NFL tight end Travis Kelce, who -- without touching either ball or player -- proved so distracting that the players each took more than 20 tries to sink the putt.
posted by Etrigan at 11:47 AM on June 14, 2022 [13 favorites]
Was the live bear Jay Cutler and nobody gave a shit?
posted by cmfletcher at 11:53 AM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by cmfletcher at 11:53 AM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
Etrigan, Mrs. Dr. KaijuCommuter and I love Holey Moley. It's just the right blend of banality and absurdity.
Incidentally, last night we watched the American Dog Rescue Show hosted by Tessitore and Riggle. They brought their Holey Moley commenting style to a silly show where a dog won a medal for being the best couch potato.
posted by TheKaijuCommuter at 11:59 AM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
Incidentally, last night we watched the American Dog Rescue Show hosted by Tessitore and Riggle. They brought their Holey Moley commenting style to a silly show where a dog won a medal for being the best couch potato.
posted by TheKaijuCommuter at 11:59 AM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
Whoa. A rescue dog competition show? This changes everything. I’m in.
Caddie fights. Fighting for their golfers’ honor. With glove slaps and, like, heraldic florishes or something. That’s what I want to add to golf.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 12:09 PM on June 14, 2022
Caddie fights. Fighting for their golfers’ honor. With glove slaps and, like, heraldic florishes or something. That’s what I want to add to golf.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 12:09 PM on June 14, 2022
2022 American Rescue Dog Show on ABC.com; it is also available on Hulu. We now return you to your discussion of a less rewarding competition.
posted by Etrigan at 12:12 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 12:12 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
I can think of a lot of wacky ideas to make baseball more interesting which compliment the existing idiosyncrasies of of the sport. But I have trouble doing the same for golf.
I think professional golf is just too much of a power fantasy. Putting aside the obvious class issues, golf is a sport where players are "invited" to compete for absurdly large purses that they get to keep for themselves. Apart from a few exceptions there are no teams and natural-born talent is venerated to a much, much higher degree than in any other organized event. There's no self-sacrifice in golf--no one collapses from exhaustion moments after sinking that last put, and even if someone did there's always a cart ready to take a player to the clubhouse for a drink. Players get to have all the benefits of being a famous athlete--sponsorships, wealth, attention--without any of the health drawbacks from giving too much.
Golf may be a fun thing to play with friends, but professional golf is just toxic by it's very definition.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 12:30 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
I think professional golf is just too much of a power fantasy. Putting aside the obvious class issues, golf is a sport where players are "invited" to compete for absurdly large purses that they get to keep for themselves. Apart from a few exceptions there are no teams and natural-born talent is venerated to a much, much higher degree than in any other organized event. There's no self-sacrifice in golf--no one collapses from exhaustion moments after sinking that last put, and even if someone did there's always a cart ready to take a player to the clubhouse for a drink. Players get to have all the benefits of being a famous athlete--sponsorships, wealth, attention--without any of the health drawbacks from giving too much.
Golf may be a fun thing to play with friends, but professional golf is just toxic by it's very definition.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 12:30 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
It reminds me of a very old beer ad for "full contact golf."
Why that's in my head, I have no idea. I have no interest in that particular beer, football, or golf.
posted by heyitsgogi at 12:37 PM on June 14, 2022
Why that's in my head, I have no idea. I have no interest in that particular beer, football, or golf.
posted by heyitsgogi at 12:37 PM on June 14, 2022
What we need is picklegolf.
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 12:38 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 12:38 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
more like DETH Golf
posted by glonous keming at 12:39 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by glonous keming at 12:39 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Does this have anything to do with Liv bicycles? The logos are fairly similar.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:48 PM on June 14, 2022
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:48 PM on June 14, 2022
Thirding Holey Moley is pretty great. Rob Riggle has been my #1 problematic fave for several years now (he will almost certainly milkshake duck sometime in the years ahead), and the setup for the show is just perfect for both of them. The Rescue Dog Show was okay, but they can't really make fun of the dogs like on HM.
posted by rhizome at 12:48 PM on June 14, 2022
posted by rhizome at 12:48 PM on June 14, 2022
Also I watched some of the Canadian Open and they had an extended booth interview with a guy from the PGA (President? maybe) that was the most diplomatic exchange I've heard in a long time. The interviewer was trying to drag MBS into the conversation without touching on any of that, while the PGA guy was very good at maintaining a PGA stance from the PGA perspective, they can't support using PGA fame to benefit another league, that kind of thing, and while I would have preferred a rich-boy tournament to go HAM on the Saudi situation, it laid the expulsions down in inarguable terms pretty well anyway. And that's the important part, that the players are shitcanned with no clear path back.
posted by rhizome at 12:52 PM on June 14, 2022
posted by rhizome at 12:52 PM on June 14, 2022
Just to get this out of the way: golf is a wasteful, elitist game with a long history of racism and exclusion, played on land that could be better used for something else.
If we can afford a slight derail - Toronto has FIVE publicly owned courses. I think a case could be made for turning at least a couple into parks or maybe even turning them over to indigenous people's management…but we'll likely get big box plazas and condos.
posted by brachiopod at 1:14 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
If we can afford a slight derail - Toronto has FIVE publicly owned courses. I think a case could be made for turning at least a couple into parks or maybe even turning them over to indigenous people's management…but we'll likely get big box plazas and condos.
posted by brachiopod at 1:14 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
while the PGA guy was very good at maintaining a PGA stance from the PGA perspective, they can't support using PGA fame to benefit another league, that kind of thing, and while I would have preferred a rich-boy tournament to go HAM on the Saudi situation, it laid the expulsions down in inarguable terms pretty well anyway. And that's the important part, that the players are shitcanned with no clear path back.
That seems like its actually a profoundly shitty reason to expel them -- either anti-labour or anti-trust depending on the relationship between golfers and the tour -- but in this case, its pretty hard to muster sympathy for either golfers or collaborators, so, you know, eh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:20 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
That seems like its actually a profoundly shitty reason to expel them -- either anti-labour or anti-trust depending on the relationship between golfers and the tour -- but in this case, its pretty hard to muster sympathy for either golfers or collaborators, so, you know, eh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:20 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Just to provide more context: in the U.S. at least, golf is on a serious decline.
posted by zardoz at 1:25 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by zardoz at 1:25 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
When I had newly arrived in the US, my nice, friendly coworker invited me to go with him and his wife to the house of a couple they were friends with for lunch, which consisted of sitting on a couch watching golf and eating something I can't remember because my brain blocked out most of the four hours or so of watching white people and Tiger Woods squint at invisible holes, swing sticks in their general direction, and then have the camera pan across a lot of blue skies with maybe a white pixel moving through it.
My point is I'm not sure anything could make golf 'entertaining'. It's hard to come back when you start out at -∞
posted by signal at 1:55 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
My point is I'm not sure anything could make golf 'entertaining'. It's hard to come back when you start out at -∞
posted by signal at 1:55 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
I TLDR but are there women competing in this benighted project? I ask because last I checked, golf is still on the upswing in South Korea, especially because of how well Korean women have been doing in golf. There was a terrible moment when my immigrant Korean parents decided to badger their heretofore happily nerd potato daughter into golf lessons at the local public golf course during summer break because Se Ri Pak was so kickass.
posted by spamandkimchi at 2:02 PM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by spamandkimchi at 2:02 PM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
Before the Trump presidency, golf was mostly ignored.
I have to admit, this one has got my “Metafilter comment or parody of a Metafilter comment?” detection way out of whack.
posted by atoxyl at 2:20 PM on June 14, 2022 [6 favorites]
I have to admit, this one has got my “Metafilter comment or parody of a Metafilter comment?” detection way out of whack.
posted by atoxyl at 2:20 PM on June 14, 2022 [6 favorites]
My father-in-law loves golf and will happily spend his days watching it on TV. It isn't the most entertaining thing for me but there are probably worse things he could be watching. He golfs and goes to the driving range pretty frequently too. There are probably better things he could be doing but considering how his other hobby is going to pachinko parlours golf is a much better alternative. Whenever he comes to Canada I'll try to arrange at least one trip to a golf course for him. I need to wrangle some other people to come who actually can golf because I am not a golfer at all.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:20 PM on June 14, 2022
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:20 PM on June 14, 2022
When I read shotgun start I pictured a dozen golfers all at the same home, all starting at the same time, with a shotgun instead of a starter pistol used to signal the beginning. Give each one a different colored ball. Each shot is taken at the same time by all participants.
As to those who say that it's impossible to make non mini golf exciting, I think you're wrong. Turn it into a time competition where each swing adds ten minutes (this number is pulled from thin air, it can be adjusted) to your total time. No golf carts allowed, they run to where their ball landed so they can take the next shot. Turn it into a biathlon type event. I want to see how someone who is exhausted from running 200 meters carrying a full golf bag gets themselves steady to chip out of a bunker. If you want, combine both the dozen starting at once with the racing component. Disallow explicit contact between golfers, but do allow them to hit other balls with their own if it makes tactical sense. Include swimming for it if it goes in a water hazard. They get one ball, but it's equipped with a GPS tracker.
I'm sure there are some very physically fit golf players out there in the pga/wpga. Give them a chance to shine.
posted by Hactar at 2:26 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
As to those who say that it's impossible to make non mini golf exciting, I think you're wrong. Turn it into a time competition where each swing adds ten minutes (this number is pulled from thin air, it can be adjusted) to your total time. No golf carts allowed, they run to where their ball landed so they can take the next shot. Turn it into a biathlon type event. I want to see how someone who is exhausted from running 200 meters carrying a full golf bag gets themselves steady to chip out of a bunker. If you want, combine both the dozen starting at once with the racing component. Disallow explicit contact between golfers, but do allow them to hit other balls with their own if it makes tactical sense. Include swimming for it if it goes in a water hazard. They get one ball, but it's equipped with a GPS tracker.
I'm sure there are some very physically fit golf players out there in the pga/wpga. Give them a chance to shine.
posted by Hactar at 2:26 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
I TLDR but are there women competing in this benighted project?
Zero women. Did a Ctrl+F on the wikipedia page, it was 0/0 with only "wom" typed in. This should be of no surprise though with the Saudis.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 2:27 PM on June 14, 2022
Zero women. Did a Ctrl+F on the wikipedia page, it was 0/0 with only "wom" typed in. This should be of no surprise though with the Saudis.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 2:27 PM on June 14, 2022
George Carlin is on a rotisserie spit in his grave right now.
posted by lextex at 3:17 PM on June 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by lextex at 3:17 PM on June 14, 2022 [3 favorites]
One of the fun rumors/actual stories going around about the walking cautionary tale formerly known as Phil Mickelson is that he’s, if not broke, very, very close to it. Evidently the man’s gambling habit makes Jordan look like a guy who once bought a scratch off card, and he’s terrible at it. I can’t remember where I read it, maybe Defector, but there are estimates that his gambling losses are pretty damn close to his career winnings. Add to that his age, and the decreasing chances of winning a major purse going forward, Phil is fucked, and the Saudi money had to be like a life preserving with a little disclaimer that grabbing on to the only thing that could save him would also make him a goddamn (rightful) pariah and make him into an apologist for murderers and worse.
I mean, he could’ve said no, but he’s never been the kind of person who would say no. Fuck him.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:19 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
I mean, he could’ve said no, but he’s never been the kind of person who would say no. Fuck him.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:19 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
When I read shotgun start I pictured a dozen golfers all at the same home, all starting at the same time, with a shotgun instead of a starter pistol used to signal the beginning. Give each one a different colored ball. Each shot is taken at the same time by all participants.
You might be in the target demo for Mario Kart: Super Rush.
posted by box at 3:20 PM on June 14, 2022
You might be in the target demo for Mario Kart: Super Rush.
posted by box at 3:20 PM on June 14, 2022
As someone who plays municipal golf courses two to four days a week for $19 to $45 a round with every class and color of people, I never understand why so many people think golf is an elitist sport. It is one game where everyone can play from age 10 when I started until well into their 90s like some guys I’ve played with. I play with retirees, students, guys who work at Amazon at night and play before they go to sleep, small business owners and women who work at the local diners. I have been a member at high end golf courses in the past and I find the people I’m playing today are a lot more fun, but many of the others were very good people also.
Then I see some ridiculous proposal like the recent on in California to dig up the municipal courses for housing, taking away the opportunity for all those people to do something they enjoy, while ignoring the fact that other than cemeteries, they are frequently the largest areas of green space in a lot of cities. Dig up old shopping malls, build mass transit so that parking lots can be removed etc. before looking at municipal golf courses.
As for LIV, I hate the idea of it. The format stinks, the amount of money being thrown around is obscene and the fact that the main reason Greg Norman and Phil Mickelson both are involved is because they have grudges for perceived slights by the PGA Tour. Both are pretty poor examples of what golf is.
It should also be noted that the Tour has literally raised billions of dollars for charities in the towns where it plays. The game brings out thousands of people who volunteer hundreds of hours to help the game and the events so that the money can help people in need.
I worked in golf for many years first as a volunteer and later after making a career change as a job, now I’m back to volunteering and will as long as I can contribute something to the game. I can say that the people you meet in golf are some of the best you’ll meet anywhere. It teaches kids so many good values and life skills.
posted by jvbthegolfer at 4:04 PM on June 14, 2022 [9 favorites]
Then I see some ridiculous proposal like the recent on in California to dig up the municipal courses for housing, taking away the opportunity for all those people to do something they enjoy, while ignoring the fact that other than cemeteries, they are frequently the largest areas of green space in a lot of cities. Dig up old shopping malls, build mass transit so that parking lots can be removed etc. before looking at municipal golf courses.
As for LIV, I hate the idea of it. The format stinks, the amount of money being thrown around is obscene and the fact that the main reason Greg Norman and Phil Mickelson both are involved is because they have grudges for perceived slights by the PGA Tour. Both are pretty poor examples of what golf is.
It should also be noted that the Tour has literally raised billions of dollars for charities in the towns where it plays. The game brings out thousands of people who volunteer hundreds of hours to help the game and the events so that the money can help people in need.
I worked in golf for many years first as a volunteer and later after making a career change as a job, now I’m back to volunteering and will as long as I can contribute something to the game. I can say that the people you meet in golf are some of the best you’ll meet anywhere. It teaches kids so many good values and life skills.
posted by jvbthegolfer at 4:04 PM on June 14, 2022 [9 favorites]
Before the Trump presidency, golf was mostly ignored.
"We must stop the terror. I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now, watch this drive."
I never understand why so many people think golf is an elitist sport.
Maybe because the overwhelming majority of people who are well known for golf are also well known for being assholes? And rich white dudes. "American golfers are 77 percent male and 80 percent white, according to the 2015 Golf Diversity & Inclusion Report. Among professional golfers, 75 percent are male and 86 percent are white."
posted by kirkaracha at 5:35 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
"We must stop the terror. I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now, watch this drive."
I never understand why so many people think golf is an elitist sport.
Maybe because the overwhelming majority of people who are well known for golf are also well known for being assholes? And rich white dudes. "American golfers are 77 percent male and 80 percent white, according to the 2015 Golf Diversity & Inclusion Report. Among professional golfers, 75 percent are male and 86 percent are white."
posted by kirkaracha at 5:35 PM on June 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
while ignoring the fact that other than cemeteries, they are frequently the largest areas of green space in a lot of cities.
Which charge admission, and allow a few dozen people to use them at one time, to do one specific thing instead of being open to the general public to use and enjoy in many ways.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:03 PM on June 14, 2022 [8 favorites]
Which charge admission, and allow a few dozen people to use them at one time, to do one specific thing instead of being open to the general public to use and enjoy in many ways.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:03 PM on June 14, 2022 [8 favorites]
→
I dunno, I think a fair few more people might enjoy being housed more than playing golf
posted by scruss at 8:01 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
dig up the municipal courses for housing, taking away the opportunity for all those people to do something they enjoy
I dunno, I think a fair few more people might enjoy being housed more than playing golf
posted by scruss at 8:01 PM on June 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
The thing is, and referencing the first post...
Lots of (mostly dudes) like to play golf.
But, the explosion of golf courses is clearly not a thing. Contraction is happening. Know someone who bought a pretty sweet failing golf course, and has turned it into a disc golf course. Which is crazy, but probably better for the natural environment than golf.
posted by Windopaene at 9:11 PM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
Lots of (mostly dudes) like to play golf.
But, the explosion of golf courses is clearly not a thing. Contraction is happening. Know someone who bought a pretty sweet failing golf course, and has turned it into a disc golf course. Which is crazy, but probably better for the natural environment than golf.
posted by Windopaene at 9:11 PM on June 14, 2022 [2 favorites]
That might be a fairly local perspective to you. Golf is actually increasing in popularity worldwide, driven by growth in Asia in particular.
posted by Dysk at 10:38 PM on June 14, 2022
posted by Dysk at 10:38 PM on June 14, 2022
One of the fun rumors/actual stories going around about the walking cautionary tale formerly known as Phil Mickelson is that he’s, if not broke, very, very close to it.
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
If he needs to make a quick buck without having to simp for Saudi royalty, maybe he could take a page from Arnold Palmer's book, and name a drink after himself? Try a refreshing Mickelson, a blend of cranberry juice, vodka, and sweet light crude.
posted by Mayor West at 5:27 AM on June 15, 2022
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
If he needs to make a quick buck without having to simp for Saudi royalty, maybe he could take a page from Arnold Palmer's book, and name a drink after himself? Try a refreshing Mickelson, a blend of cranberry juice, vodka, and sweet light crude.
posted by Mayor West at 5:27 AM on June 15, 2022
I mean, does it matter that golf is growing in popularity in other countries? Golf growing in popularity in China doesn't change the composition of golf aficionados in the USA.
I do concede that it might have an effect later.
posted by Trifling at 5:40 AM on June 15, 2022
I do concede that it might have an effect later.
posted by Trifling at 5:40 AM on June 15, 2022
LIV is an international competition, so the state of golf worldwide does have some bearing on the situation? And golf is a wasteful use of land resources most everywhere, not just the US.
posted by Dysk at 6:34 AM on June 15, 2022
posted by Dysk at 6:34 AM on June 15, 2022
Mickelson tries to justify joining LIV tour, again (Deadspin)
posted by box at 8:24 AM on June 15, 2022
posted by box at 8:24 AM on June 15, 2022
maybe he could take a page from Arnold Palmer's book, and name a drink after himself? Try a refreshing Mickelson
I was going to say I had someone order this back in my bartending days. "It's an Arnold Palmer, but with a double shot of vodka!"
They may have actually ordered a John Daly, though...
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 11:38 AM on June 15, 2022
I was going to say I had someone order this back in my bartending days. "It's an Arnold Palmer, but with a double shot of vodka!"
They may have actually ordered a John Daly, though...
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 11:38 AM on June 15, 2022
Discourse Blog: The Kingdom Always Wins (about Biden's upcoming SA visit, not LIV, but felt vaguely apropos)
posted by box at 1:06 PM on June 15, 2022
posted by box at 1:06 PM on June 15, 2022
> Dig up old shopping malls, build mass transit so that parking lots can be removed etc. before looking at municipal golf courses.
I agree. We need more public space for recreation, not less. Public golf courses, public cricket pitches, public bocce courts, public frisbee.... I don't know, whatever frisbee is played on. And have funding for community clubs that encourage enthusiasts of their sports and welcome new players of all kinds.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:02 PM on June 16, 2022
I agree. We need more public space for recreation, not less. Public golf courses, public cricket pitches, public bocce courts, public frisbee.... I don't know, whatever frisbee is played on. And have funding for community clubs that encourage enthusiasts of their sports and welcome new players of all kinds.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:02 PM on June 16, 2022
Thing is, a golf course is very much single use. You can golf on it, and maybe go for walks. Meanwhile, with a big common or other grassy park type area of the same size, people can do frisbee, play cricket, football, rugby, all manner of ball and running games. You could fit actual infrastructure for all kinds of activities (bocce courts, an actual football pitch with goals, a pitch or even full oval for cricket) and still have plenty of space left for grassy space for free-form play and sport. You can provide so much more in terms of leisure facilities, made available to far more people for a greater variety of activities, if you use the space a golf course requires for other things.
posted by Dysk at 10:17 PM on June 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Dysk at 10:17 PM on June 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Hmm, that's a good point. And golf courses can't be used for other things on days when it's closed to golf, right? Unlike a soccer field, which people hang out on when there aren't official games. Well, I still maintain we need more community recreation areas, not less, but in my ideal world we've found a way for golf courses to have other uses on some days of the week. (I would love to do field archery on the golf courses near me, but field archery also doesn't blend well with, say, preschool picnics.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:17 AM on June 18, 2022
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:17 AM on June 18, 2022
Yeah, generally golf courses need the greens and fairways in a condition that makes it difficult to allow for many other activities on the course, other than walking/running.
posted by Dysk at 1:10 PM on June 18, 2022
posted by Dysk at 1:10 PM on June 18, 2022
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posted by box at 7:05 AM on June 14, 2022 [52 favorites]