I Have Nothing To Hide
October 17, 2022 7:52 AM Subscribe
A TikTok by Alex Falcone
I am just picturing a burglar going through his stuff, being very pleased at finding the secret hiding places and then getting increasingly frustrated at finding nothing valuable in any of them, and then probably breaking down in tears at the last one.
posted by Fuchsoid at 8:11 AM on October 17, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by Fuchsoid at 8:11 AM on October 17, 2022 [11 favorites]
Many, many years ago I made a secret book to hide an emergency teabag in. This person blows me out of the water. (I very much appreciate that they also kept the book scraps. The scraps are important!)
posted by phooky at 8:28 AM on October 17, 2022 [22 favorites]
posted by phooky at 8:28 AM on October 17, 2022 [22 favorites]
phooky, that’s amazing!
posted by mochapickle at 8:50 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by mochapickle at 8:50 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
oh, that was amazing. laughed out loud at the ending. won't spoil it but ... wow.
posted by martin q blank at 9:07 AM on October 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by martin q blank at 9:07 AM on October 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
This is a double, but I'm just glad more people are getting to see it. It is brilliant.
posted by Jonathan Harford at 9:08 AM on October 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Jonathan Harford at 9:08 AM on October 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
That's... a lot of different kinds of allergy medicine for one person. Hopefully there's no overlap when he takes them!
posted by May Kasahara at 9:41 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by May Kasahara at 9:41 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
I also take a lot of allergy + asthma medication, and I take it all at the same time! So I loved this and now I want to hide my medication except the brain fog caused by allergies will make me forget where I hid them.
Yes I should get shots but they are tuned to your present environment 🙃 so if you move to a new area of the country you have to start the very expensive series all over again. It's a big commitment.
posted by muddgirl at 9:53 AM on October 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Yes I should get shots but they are tuned to your present environment 🙃 so if you move to a new area of the country you have to start the very expensive series all over again. It's a big commitment.
posted by muddgirl at 9:53 AM on October 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Indisputably best of the web.
posted by ourobouros at 9:57 AM on October 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by ourobouros at 9:57 AM on October 17, 2022 [3 favorites]
Honestly, that almost made it worth having TikTok on my phone.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:07 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by jacquilynne at 10:07 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Comedy gold! “Shakespeare b-sides” 🤣
posted by Doleful Creature at 10:12 AM on October 17, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by Doleful Creature at 10:12 AM on October 17, 2022 [8 favorites]
This is a double, but I'm just glad more people are getting to see it. It is brilliant.
So what you're saying is, you hid the original post inside a link inside this post
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 10:46 AM on October 17, 2022 [13 favorites]
So what you're saying is, you hid the original post inside a link inside this post
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 10:46 AM on October 17, 2022 [13 favorites]
I actually hide TikTok inside a folder which is inside another folder on my phone, so my kids won't find it.
posted by leebree at 10:57 AM on October 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by leebree at 10:57 AM on October 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
And the craft!
posted by Carmody'sPrize at 10:57 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Carmody'sPrize at 10:57 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Fuck off! This is stupidly fantastic.
Yes, best of the web.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:58 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Yes, best of the web.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:58 AM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm delighted by the fact that the Dr Pepper, tire foam and canned peaches appear to be commercially-made fake product safes, so he had to go and buy real Dr Pepper, foam and peaches for the final punchline.
posted by Superilla at 12:02 PM on October 17, 2022 [14 favorites]
posted by Superilla at 12:02 PM on October 17, 2022 [14 favorites]
That photo of the safe tickles me to no end.
posted by SonInLawOfSam at 2:14 PM on October 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by SonInLawOfSam at 2:14 PM on October 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
He's right about Flonase.
posted by clavdivs at 2:36 PM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 2:36 PM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Fun!
posted by obfuscation at 2:42 PM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by obfuscation at 2:42 PM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Comedy gold! “Shakespeare b-sides” 🤣
Came here to say this! Shots fired 🤣
posted by taquito sunrise at 3:30 PM on October 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Came here to say this! Shots fired 🤣
posted by taquito sunrise at 3:30 PM on October 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Is he a Falcone, as in Ben?
posted by atomicstone at 4:45 PM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by atomicstone at 4:45 PM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
"bennies" lol
posted by Gorgik at 7:51 PM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Gorgik at 7:51 PM on October 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Came here for the ending comments.
Would you call this the practical version of puns?
posted by filtergik at 1:20 AM on October 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
Would you call this the practical version of puns?
posted by filtergik at 1:20 AM on October 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
Well, some surface googling says he may or may not be, but if he is, he surely doesn't trade on being a Falcone (but i think he isn't).
posted by atomicstone at 7:33 AM on October 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by atomicstone at 7:33 AM on October 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
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posted by bitslayer at 7:57 AM on October 17, 2022 [2 favorites]