G comes after F
January 18, 2023 3:18 AM Subscribe
Founders of Bankrupt Three Arrows Capital Plan Trading Platform for Distressed Crypto Debt [WSJ; ungated]
Su Zhu and Kyle Davies Raising $25M for a Crypto Exchange: Report [CryptoPotato]
Three Arrows has returned to save crypto. Here’s its pitch deck [FT; ungated]
Bankrupt 3AC Founders seek to raise $25M for New ‘GTX’ Crypto Exchange [The Crypto Times]
CoinFLEX Users Irate Over Leaked GTX Pitch Deck From Three Arrows Founders [Yahoo!]
Required: Man Who Lost Everything In Crypto Just Wishes Several Thousand More People Had Warned Him
Su Zhu and Kyle Davies Raising $25M for a Crypto Exchange: Report [CryptoPotato]
Three Arrows has returned to save crypto. Here’s its pitch deck [FT; ungated]
Bankrupt 3AC Founders seek to raise $25M for New ‘GTX’ Crypto Exchange [The Crypto Times]
CoinFLEX Users Irate Over Leaked GTX Pitch Deck From Three Arrows Founders [Yahoo!]
Required: Man Who Lost Everything In Crypto Just Wishes Several Thousand More People Had Warned Him
Local Enby Garden Pathed Hard by Crypto Headline [WP; bonus]
posted by polytope subirb enby-of-piano-dice at 4:07 AM on January 18, 2023 [31 favorites]
posted by polytope subirb enby-of-piano-dice at 4:07 AM on January 18, 2023 [31 favorites]
hear me out on this
Are you suggesting we make it law that private prison operators are paid only in crypto? That's a move I could get behind.
posted by flabdablet at 5:43 AM on January 18, 2023 [33 favorites]
Are you suggesting we make it law that private prison operators are paid only in crypto? That's a move I could get behind.
posted by flabdablet at 5:43 AM on January 18, 2023 [33 favorites]
Crypto grifters put in jails paid for in crypto, where the blockchain gangs are hodling day and night, calculating hashes by diamond hand, praying the day of funging will come soon, sending them to the moon.
posted by mhoye at 5:51 AM on January 18, 2023 [19 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 5:51 AM on January 18, 2023 [19 favorites]
Law enforcement doesn't just have the capability of sending people to jail. The sky is kind of the limit as long as it's not "cruel or unusual." Kevin Mitnick spent three years not allowed to use anything other than a landline phone. The court could forbid one from handling funds for other people, or owning or being employed by a bank or investment business of any kind. None of these would be cruel (violating of one's human rights) or unusual (given the crime).
Incarceration is just a blunt instrument. There there are so many better, far more bitingly just punishments one could levy.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:06 AM on January 18, 2023 [23 favorites]
Incarceration is just a blunt instrument. There there are so many better, far more bitingly just punishments one could levy.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:06 AM on January 18, 2023 [23 favorites]
Seems like a simple just punishment would be to tell people who have failed in the crypto market that they don't get to create a new crypto market to try to buy and sell creditor shares in failed crypto markets.
I mean, in any sane world, this idea wouldn't even be allowed by someone who DIDN'T fail in the crypto market.
posted by hippybear at 6:35 AM on January 18, 2023 [7 favorites]
I mean, in any sane world, this idea wouldn't even be allowed by someone who DIDN'T fail in the crypto market.
posted by hippybear at 6:35 AM on January 18, 2023 [7 favorites]
Unlike women who miscarry, the homeless, and migrant children, the people who have the cash to start crypto exchanges have the money to pay off elected officials. They may not see heaven but they're certainly not seeing jail.
posted by kingdead at 6:42 AM on January 18, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by kingdead at 6:42 AM on January 18, 2023 [8 favorites]
Bankrupt Three Arrows Capital is a crap name for a private equity firm.
posted by slogger at 6:50 AM on January 18, 2023 [28 favorites]
posted by slogger at 6:50 AM on January 18, 2023 [28 favorites]
I think they'll probably do fine so long as George Santos is a board member.
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 6:51 AM on January 18, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 6:51 AM on January 18, 2023 [7 favorites]
It's WSJ that is bankrupt, if we're talking about verbs
posted by lefty lucky cat at 6:59 AM on January 18, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by lefty lucky cat at 6:59 AM on January 18, 2023 [6 favorites]
Create the problem and then sell people the solution. Classic!
posted by abucci at 7:10 AM on January 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by abucci at 7:10 AM on January 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
putting my entire savings into Dickcoin
Lol.
posted by Snowishberlin at 8:52 AM on January 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
Lol.
posted by Snowishberlin at 8:52 AM on January 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
this is what happens when a pyramid scheme needs to be fed other pyramids to keep scheming
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:04 AM on January 18, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:04 AM on January 18, 2023 [10 favorites]
A quote from the Wall Street Journal article:
Mr. Zhu said some Three Arrows creditors would have the option to convert their claims into equity in the new claim-trading company.Matt Levine’s reaction:
Absolutely magnificent stuff. "We were too good at taking your money, sorry about that, but to make up for our losses we'll let you bet on our ability to take your money again."posted by mbrubeck at 9:35 AM on January 18, 2023 [18 favorites]
If at first you don't succeed, scam, scam again!
posted by lock robster at 9:53 AM on January 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by lock robster at 9:53 AM on January 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have to be honest that I fucking love crypto for being the finance version of Galt's Gulch and just setting Randroids' cash on fire with their lust for deregulation as the accelerent.
posted by srboisvert at 10:14 AM on January 18, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 10:14 AM on January 18, 2023 [10 favorites]
I thought that I had used up all sensation of surprise at anything in the crypto space, but
what
posted by inexorably_forward at 10:29 AM on January 18, 2023 [6 favorites]
what
posted by inexorably_forward at 10:29 AM on January 18, 2023 [6 favorites]
Incarceration is just a blunt instrument. There there are so many better, far more bitingly just punishments one could levy.
Nah.
The more you read about not just crypto scams, but all white collar crime, the more it's clear that there is only one thing that actually scares these guys enough to keep them in line: real, actual jail time.
Fines, injunctions, restrictions, etc. are meaningless. They just see that as the cost of doing business, or they'll negotiate until the restrictions are toothless, or they'll find some workaround. What we need is an inversion of what we have: these white collar criminals being treated exactly as poor defendants are. You do this financial crime, you are inside a jail cell for several decades, no exceptions, no alternate payment option or consent agreement, no negotiations, just you in prison.
Literally nothing less works with these people. They think they're above the law because they usually never have to face real consequences for their crimes.
posted by star gentle uterus at 11:39 AM on January 18, 2023 [35 favorites]
Nah.
The more you read about not just crypto scams, but all white collar crime, the more it's clear that there is only one thing that actually scares these guys enough to keep them in line: real, actual jail time.
Fines, injunctions, restrictions, etc. are meaningless. They just see that as the cost of doing business, or they'll negotiate until the restrictions are toothless, or they'll find some workaround. What we need is an inversion of what we have: these white collar criminals being treated exactly as poor defendants are. You do this financial crime, you are inside a jail cell for several decades, no exceptions, no alternate payment option or consent agreement, no negotiations, just you in prison.
Literally nothing less works with these people. They think they're above the law because they usually never have to face real consequences for their crimes.
posted by star gentle uterus at 11:39 AM on January 18, 2023 [35 favorites]
These grifters are exhausting.
Ross Bitcoin, the largest Friend crypto scheme, not simply eat the other Friends crypto schemes?"
posted by Fiberoptic Zebroid and The Hypnagogic Jerks at 11:40 AM on January 18, 2023 [4 favorites]
> this is what happens when a pyramid scheme needs to be fed other pyramids to keep schemingAs a wise humanoid from Omicron Persei 8 once mused: "Why does
posted by Fiberoptic Zebroid and The Hypnagogic Jerks at 11:40 AM on January 18, 2023 [4 favorites]
Incarceration is just a blunt instrument. There there are so many better, far more bitingly just punishments one could levy.
An exercise bike hooked up to a small generator, now keep cycling until you have re-generated all the power wasted in your stupid crypto-scam.
posted by Lanark at 12:11 PM on January 18, 2023 [9 favorites]
An exercise bike hooked up to a small generator, now keep cycling until you have re-generated all the power wasted in your stupid crypto-scam.
posted by Lanark at 12:11 PM on January 18, 2023 [9 favorites]
So, Black Mirror Prison, basically
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:30 PM on January 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:30 PM on January 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
I always felt the one thing missing with subprime mortgages was a higher carbon footprint
posted by condour75 at 1:57 PM on January 18, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by condour75 at 1:57 PM on January 18, 2023 [3 favorites]
When you ain't got nuthin',
you got nuthin' to lose.
posted by thecincinnatikid at 4:34 PM on January 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
you got nuthin' to lose.
posted by thecincinnatikid at 4:34 PM on January 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
Aren’t Zhu and Davies currently under indictment in a couple of countries?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:29 PM on January 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:29 PM on January 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
It took me embarrassingly long to figure out which words in that headline were the verbs.
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:22 PM on January 18, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:22 PM on January 18, 2023 [9 favorites]
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines Three Arrows Capital as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.” A footnote in a later edition reminds the reader that, funnily enough, three arrows was indeed what was used to pin them against that wall when the revolution finally came.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 8:40 PM on January 18, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 8:40 PM on January 18, 2023 [4 favorites]
I am not directly involved in, but am peripherally aware of, efforts by various crypto-types (sorry, "blockchain innovation incubators") to build their phlogiston-factories in west Texas and get support from electric utilities for their multi-hundred-megawatt potential loads. I was pleased to discover that the utility approach is generally along the lines of "sure, but before we invest a bunch of money that a lot of existing customers might be on the hook for, we just need you to sign this five year take-or-pay service contract, and provide a letter of credit from a bank so we know you're good for it."
So far no such baloney-farms have been constructed, at least not connected to the Texas utility with which I am familiar.
posted by nickmark at 2:07 PM on January 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
So far no such baloney-farms have been constructed, at least not connected to the Texas utility with which I am familiar.
posted by nickmark at 2:07 PM on January 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
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posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:25 AM on January 18, 2023 [71 favorites]