🏳️⚧️ Happy Trans Day of Visibility! 🏳️⚧️
March 31, 2023 11:17 AM Subscribe
Yay!
I see you! and you! and you! and YOU!
(One recent moment of visibility that I noticed was Jamie Lee Curtis talking about her trans daughter before and after the Oscars. I'm not sure that would have happened 20 or 30 years ago, and as much as a grieve and rage against the massive and dangerous bias that still infests the world, it makes me SO HAPPY to see so much love and protectiveness and celebration of trans folks and all kinds of folks.)
Hugs to all trans folks everywhere, and especially to the trans kids of friends of mine, of whom I am especially fond.
Thanks so much for posting this, aniola!
posted by kristi at 11:37 AM on March 31, 2023 [18 favorites]
I see you! and you! and you! and YOU!
(One recent moment of visibility that I noticed was Jamie Lee Curtis talking about her trans daughter before and after the Oscars. I'm not sure that would have happened 20 or 30 years ago, and as much as a grieve and rage against the massive and dangerous bias that still infests the world, it makes me SO HAPPY to see so much love and protectiveness and celebration of trans folks and all kinds of folks.)
Hugs to all trans folks everywhere, and especially to the trans kids of friends of mine, of whom I am especially fond.
Thanks so much for posting this, aniola!
posted by kristi at 11:37 AM on March 31, 2023 [18 favorites]
Happy TDOV right back at you from me! Every day is hard, but I keep trying!
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:59 AM on March 31, 2023 [16 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:59 AM on March 31, 2023 [16 favorites]
Happy TDOV, friends.
Last week, our kid heard a gamer making a transphobic joke on their gaming server and simply said "Absolutely not" and immediately booted them. The other kids voiced approval then resumed gaming, the way you would resume reading a book on your chaise lounge after you slapped a mosquito.
The kids are alright, y'all. Have to feel like better days will get eventually.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:19 PM on March 31, 2023 [28 favorites]
Last week, our kid heard a gamer making a transphobic joke on their gaming server and simply said "Absolutely not" and immediately booted them. The other kids voiced approval then resumed gaming, the way you would resume reading a book on your chaise lounge after you slapped a mosquito.
The kids are alright, y'all. Have to feel like better days will get eventually.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:19 PM on March 31, 2023 [28 favorites]
I texted my nephew "I see you" with a trans flag. He didn't know/forgot. Not sure what that says about anything, but I thought it was interesting.
posted by Night_owl at 12:27 PM on March 31, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Night_owl at 12:27 PM on March 31, 2023 [2 favorites]
*updates pronouns on MetaFilter profile*
Happy TDOV!
I've been taking a bunch of visible transition steps lately, and so far it's been overwhelmingly positive.
I am so grateful to have a good community, and especially to have an incredibly supportive partner in aniola. (-:
posted by sibilatorix at 12:30 PM on March 31, 2023 [36 favorites]
Happy TDOV!
I've been taking a bunch of visible transition steps lately, and so far it's been overwhelmingly positive.
I am so grateful to have a good community, and especially to have an incredibly supportive partner in aniola. (-:
posted by sibilatorix at 12:30 PM on March 31, 2023 [36 favorites]
Damnit, shame I didn't hear about this before leaving for work today =(
posted by porpoise at 12:52 PM on March 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by porpoise at 12:52 PM on March 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
Happy TDOV to MeFites who are trans and NB and thank you to those of you who are willing to be open about it here! I am happy to hear your voices and celebrate you all.
I am cis, but we are all better for loosening our collective grip on the binary. I'm not very good at saying how much this means to me, but I am dreaming alongside many others of a world where change and fluidity are acknowledged as the rich grounding of new regimes of thought and being.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 1:18 PM on March 31, 2023 [8 favorites]
I am cis, but we are all better for loosening our collective grip on the binary. I'm not very good at saying how much this means to me, but I am dreaming alongside many others of a world where change and fluidity are acknowledged as the rich grounding of new regimes of thought and being.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 1:18 PM on March 31, 2023 [8 favorites]
Thank you much for this post, aniola! Sending hugs and high-fives to trans MeFites. I am so glad y’all are here.
posted by Bella Donna at 1:32 PM on March 31, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 1:32 PM on March 31, 2023 [2 favorites]
Happy TDOV! Our kid has a bunch of trans friends, so we've had them over to the house a bunch. (And one works at a local bookstore, so we see him every now and then.) And apparently I have a hard time telling if someone's trans or not.
posted by Spike Glee at 1:58 PM on March 31, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Spike Glee at 1:58 PM on March 31, 2023 [2 favorites]
Queerness is the antidote to Patriarchy. All trans people are heroes. In a better world they won't have to be.
posted by rikschell at 1:59 PM on March 31, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by rikschell at 1:59 PM on March 31, 2023 [8 favorites]
I see you. And I am a better person for it.
posted by Splunge at 2:01 PM on March 31, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Splunge at 2:01 PM on March 31, 2023 [3 favorites]
*uncloaks*
posted by Eideteker at 2:49 PM on March 31, 2023 [15 favorites]
posted by Eideteker at 2:49 PM on March 31, 2023 [15 favorites]
LOVE YOU ALL
posted by cooker girl at 5:02 PM on March 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by cooker girl at 5:02 PM on March 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
Not sure what that says about anything, but I thought it was interesting.
I wouldn't read anything into it. TDOV inhabits an odd space, of somehow being both an actual organically originating thing, but also often feeling like it's thoroughly co-opted by cis people. One's own particular trans community and one's particular experience is going to determine whether you care at all. Like, in my mind, TDOV exists to, uh, keep cis people away from TDOR (you can imagine that I am not a fan of "Transgender Awareness Week"). So in that sense I'm a fan, but it doesn't mean anything to me. Other people are going to experience it as extremely powerful.
posted by hoyland at 5:06 PM on March 31, 2023 [8 favorites]
I wouldn't read anything into it. TDOV inhabits an odd space, of somehow being both an actual organically originating thing, but also often feeling like it's thoroughly co-opted by cis people. One's own particular trans community and one's particular experience is going to determine whether you care at all. Like, in my mind, TDOV exists to, uh, keep cis people away from TDOR (you can imagine that I am not a fan of "Transgender Awareness Week"). So in that sense I'm a fan, but it doesn't mean anything to me. Other people are going to experience it as extremely powerful.
posted by hoyland at 5:06 PM on March 31, 2023 [8 favorites]
Happy TDOV. I’m old and hope to see a day when I don’t wake up in fear.
posted by mephron at 8:21 PM on March 31, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by mephron at 8:21 PM on March 31, 2023 [3 favorites]
I love y'all.
posted by limeonaire at 10:04 PM on March 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by limeonaire at 10:04 PM on March 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
One's own particular trans community and one's particular experience is going to determine whether you care at all.
In my circles it's mostly met with eyerolls at best, but that may have something to do with the fact that "visibility" isn't something a lot of us can choose. I'm not any more visible on TDOV to any other day. Visible is not something I really want to be. I don't want to stand out, I don't want my appearance to scream 'trans' in a best case scenario, and I certainly don't want to celebrate that.
posted by Dysk at 12:33 AM on April 1, 2023 [11 favorites]
In my circles it's mostly met with eyerolls at best, but that may have something to do with the fact that "visibility" isn't something a lot of us can choose. I'm not any more visible on TDOV to any other day. Visible is not something I really want to be. I don't want to stand out, I don't want my appearance to scream 'trans' in a best case scenario, and I certainly don't want to celebrate that.
posted by Dysk at 12:33 AM on April 1, 2023 [11 favorites]
I totally get that response, Dysk. After reading the article, it sounds as though this is basically a public relations effort (that is not a criticism) aimed at the public via mainstream media with the goal of educating people who do not know any transgender folks in real life. Transgender individuals are not the intended audience for this campaign, so that would be eye-rolly for sure.
posted by Bella Donna at 1:04 AM on April 1, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 1:04 AM on April 1, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm also sick of stuff that's nominally about trans people actually being entirely about cis people, so add that one to the list.
posted by Dysk at 1:10 AM on April 1, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by Dysk at 1:10 AM on April 1, 2023 [10 favorites]
I was going to go back and re-read the article because I only skimmed it before, but apparently there's an issue with their DNS registration. :-(
Anyway, I think I get the discomfort with visibility (as a cyclist, I have a complicated relationship with the concept of "visibility" and was trying to write about it in relation to trans-ness last night) and also the frustration with something that is nominally about trans people actually being about cis people.
I've mostly been thinking about TDoV from a third perspective, though: I think trans visibility is really valuable for people who are in the position I was in until a few months ago, knowing I didn't quite fit my AGAB but not really understanding the range of possible alternatives. I'm not sure I would have figured it out without a bunch of people who are visibly trans online, talking about their experiences and feelings and stuff.
As someone who didn't "always know" I was trans and who doesn't feel much dysphoria most of the time, I spent a long time assuming I was cis, or maybe a little genderfluid. I though I knew what it meant to be trans, and that it didn't match me. I needed more examples, more narratives about what was possible, so that I could see myself in some of them and find one that was right for me.
Nobody should be forced or pressured to be visibly trans. We shouldn't have to be ambassadors or advocates or examples. If you'd rather fly under the radar as best you can, that is fine.
But we do need more narratives about gender, and we need to make sure people are hearing them, and I hope TDoV and similar events contribute to that.
posted by sibilatorix at 1:43 PM on April 1, 2023 [5 favorites]
Anyway, I think I get the discomfort with visibility (as a cyclist, I have a complicated relationship with the concept of "visibility" and was trying to write about it in relation to trans-ness last night) and also the frustration with something that is nominally about trans people actually being about cis people.
I've mostly been thinking about TDoV from a third perspective, though: I think trans visibility is really valuable for people who are in the position I was in until a few months ago, knowing I didn't quite fit my AGAB but not really understanding the range of possible alternatives. I'm not sure I would have figured it out without a bunch of people who are visibly trans online, talking about their experiences and feelings and stuff.
As someone who didn't "always know" I was trans and who doesn't feel much dysphoria most of the time, I spent a long time assuming I was cis, or maybe a little genderfluid. I though I knew what it meant to be trans, and that it didn't match me. I needed more examples, more narratives about what was possible, so that I could see myself in some of them and find one that was right for me.
Nobody should be forced or pressured to be visibly trans. We shouldn't have to be ambassadors or advocates or examples. If you'd rather fly under the radar as best you can, that is fine.
But we do need more narratives about gender, and we need to make sure people are hearing them, and I hope TDoV and similar events contribute to that.
posted by sibilatorix at 1:43 PM on April 1, 2023 [5 favorites]
I'm someone who's not visibly trans and god do I ever feel like my transness is forced to be invisible. There's the whole transmasculine invisibility problem, but also a pervasive assumption that transition, and therefore transness, is a temporary state, and that because cis people don't read me as trans on meeting me, they then get to decide I've, I don't know, transcended being trans and ridden off into some sunset of gender normativity, I don't get a say.
posted by hoyland at 7:53 PM on April 1, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by hoyland at 7:53 PM on April 1, 2023 [5 favorites]
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