it's never been easy but societal growth and progress can and does occur
June 5, 2023 6:49 AM Subscribe
Being a Gay Game Developer [YouTube] “To all of my fellow members of the LGBTQ+ community, happy Pride. Being queer these days is a whirlwind of emotions, some very positive and hopeful, and others not so much. Our history is one of courage and struggle, a struggle that continues today. And in this fight, it’s essential to learn from the experiences of our queer elders, both to learn what has changed, and what work remains. One such elder is legendary game designer Tim Cain, who has recently published a video discussing his many years in the game industry as a gay man, and his journey from closeted life to being out to the world. Perhaps best known as the creator of the original Fallout games in the 1990s, Tim Cain has had a storied career in the games industry. [...] Though he knew from a young age that he was gay, Cain stayed in the closet for many years, only coming out in the 2000s after The Temple of Elemental Evil. In a recent YouTube video, he documented that journey from closeted to visible.” [via: Kotaku]
We're lacking the voices of so many from this generation. I appreciate hearing the experiences of others' lives as they struggle with being queer in this society, and I appreciate you having posted this. Thanks!
posted by hippybear at 7:44 AM on June 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 7:44 AM on June 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
The day the first anti-trans bill passed in Texas the CEO of my current employer (previously a designer) sent out a company-wide email to hundreds of employees (summarizing): “If this affects you or your family we will be making our standard relocation package available to anyone who feels they need to leave the state.”
In the games industry relocation is generally standardized at $10K but there’s a good bit of flexibility upwards depending on family size/distance/etc. Multiplied by hundreds of employees this was opening the company to spending millions. It’s the only time I’ve ever felt the slightest impulse to email someone in management with an “I’m proud to work here”-type email, let alone actually done so.
Later, when Texas passed their first anti-Roe v Wade bill they did the same thing again, which obviously hits a potentially much larger percentage of the company.
Prior to my current employer, my abiding reaction to the industry as a whole has been: “it’s weird here.” Weird as in decidedly left with pockets of WTF. My first AAA job was in 2006, after the mid-2000s quiet inflection point Tim noted in the linked video. And everything I’ve seen since joining and heard about what it was like prior 100% matches what he experienced. There remains overall a massive lack of racial diversity, but as someone who’s had to sift through a few thousand resumes it’s actually a worse percentage in applications received. Latent sexism and de facto glass ceilings vary wildly - one of the most notoriously bro-zone locker room studios out there is - according to several trans employees - the single most trans-friendly and highest percentage of trans people employed by any company I have ever heard of, let alone seen.
See also: it’s weird here. Doesn’t cleanly map to the usual spectrum.
Missing stairs are comparatively rare but the default assumption of “we’re not like that” allows it to go unchecked for that much longer when it happens. We had an industry-wide #MeToo moment a few years back and the overall percentage was unsurprising (both better than other software and not nearly as good as it should be) but the durations listed were - coming from my straight white cis-male perspective - both shocking and horrifying.
Sweeping generalizations: for a long time the typical political spectrum at any studio ran from American-far-left in the Art department (Tim’s experiences with artists surprised me) to socially-brogressive quasi-Libertarian in Engineering. The influx of Gen Z and Trump associating anything remotely conservative with “well that’s just stupid” pretty much killed off the lowkey, almost subconscious conservativism in Engineering. Design has been and remains thoroughly center-left everywhere I’ve worked or contracted.
In closing: my very first job in the industry was a paid summer internship as a junior tools programmer in ‘97 (age 16), on what was Danielle Bunten-Berry’s last project (designer of Mule for the Atari, possibly the first trans developer of note). I think because I was just beginning to shed my evangelical identity I might have been oblivious but I didn’t hear about her experiences until years later - and I was definitely too junior to have worked directly with her back then. Given the attitudes of the time I’m not at all surprised by what Tim said, I’m ashamed to admit I was part of the problem back then, and I’ve worked - and continue to work - on being better. As far as I can tell that’s been true of the industry as a whole, and while I don’t expect to see the needle move much on labor for the remainder of my career people seem to be taking social justice way more seriously. Gen Z is a good influence, looking forward to having more of them in the industry.
Disclaimer that this is all from the limited perspective of a straight white cis male self-described “intersectional marxist.” Until recently I was married to a woman who is a Project Lead at a major studio, and some of this is informed by what she told me over the years. YMMV, just as individual studios vary.
posted by Ryvar at 10:33 AM on June 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
In the games industry relocation is generally standardized at $10K but there’s a good bit of flexibility upwards depending on family size/distance/etc. Multiplied by hundreds of employees this was opening the company to spending millions. It’s the only time I’ve ever felt the slightest impulse to email someone in management with an “I’m proud to work here”-type email, let alone actually done so.
Later, when Texas passed their first anti-Roe v Wade bill they did the same thing again, which obviously hits a potentially much larger percentage of the company.
Prior to my current employer, my abiding reaction to the industry as a whole has been: “it’s weird here.” Weird as in decidedly left with pockets of WTF. My first AAA job was in 2006, after the mid-2000s quiet inflection point Tim noted in the linked video. And everything I’ve seen since joining and heard about what it was like prior 100% matches what he experienced. There remains overall a massive lack of racial diversity, but as someone who’s had to sift through a few thousand resumes it’s actually a worse percentage in applications received. Latent sexism and de facto glass ceilings vary wildly - one of the most notoriously bro-zone locker room studios out there is - according to several trans employees - the single most trans-friendly and highest percentage of trans people employed by any company I have ever heard of, let alone seen.
See also: it’s weird here. Doesn’t cleanly map to the usual spectrum.
Missing stairs are comparatively rare but the default assumption of “we’re not like that” allows it to go unchecked for that much longer when it happens. We had an industry-wide #MeToo moment a few years back and the overall percentage was unsurprising (both better than other software and not nearly as good as it should be) but the durations listed were - coming from my straight white cis-male perspective - both shocking and horrifying.
Sweeping generalizations: for a long time the typical political spectrum at any studio ran from American-far-left in the Art department (Tim’s experiences with artists surprised me) to socially-brogressive quasi-Libertarian in Engineering. The influx of Gen Z and Trump associating anything remotely conservative with “well that’s just stupid” pretty much killed off the lowkey, almost subconscious conservativism in Engineering. Design has been and remains thoroughly center-left everywhere I’ve worked or contracted.
In closing: my very first job in the industry was a paid summer internship as a junior tools programmer in ‘97 (age 16), on what was Danielle Bunten-Berry’s last project (designer of Mule for the Atari, possibly the first trans developer of note). I think because I was just beginning to shed my evangelical identity I might have been oblivious but I didn’t hear about her experiences until years later - and I was definitely too junior to have worked directly with her back then. Given the attitudes of the time I’m not at all surprised by what Tim said, I’m ashamed to admit I was part of the problem back then, and I’ve worked - and continue to work - on being better. As far as I can tell that’s been true of the industry as a whole, and while I don’t expect to see the needle move much on labor for the remainder of my career people seem to be taking social justice way more seriously. Gen Z is a good influence, looking forward to having more of them in the industry.
Disclaimer that this is all from the limited perspective of a straight white cis male self-described “intersectional marxist.” Until recently I was married to a woman who is a Project Lead at a major studio, and some of this is informed by what she told me over the years. YMMV, just as individual studios vary.
posted by Ryvar at 10:33 AM on June 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
I literally teared up when he got to the story of having dinner with Robert Garriott. Wish that such attitudes and support were more widespread.
posted by Dysk at 4:58 AM on June 21, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Dysk at 4:58 AM on June 21, 2023 [1 favorite]
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posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:28 AM on June 5, 2023 [3 favorites]