Woman tells office she can't come in as 600kg seal is blocking her car
November 14, 2023 7:59 PM Subscribe
Tasmanian woman tells office she can't come in as 600 kilogram (1322 pounds) seal is blocking her car. (Text article, video, photographs. Cute, no seals or people were harmed.)
A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.
The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
posted by lalochezia at 8:05 PM on November 14, 2023 [50 favorites]
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.
The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
posted by lalochezia at 8:05 PM on November 14, 2023 [50 favorites]
What in the world is on its head?? The article doesn't say. If that's some sort of tracker, it's hella intrusive.
posted by Flock of Cynthiabirds at 8:18 PM on November 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Flock of Cynthiabirds at 8:18 PM on November 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
I'm appalled at the lack of dedication to her job. In my day, we had to climb over a whole herd of seals to get to work.
posted by dg at 8:27 PM on November 14, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by dg at 8:27 PM on November 14, 2023 [8 favorites]
Loose seal! Loose seal!
posted by AlSweigart at 8:43 PM on November 14, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by AlSweigart at 8:43 PM on November 14, 2023 [12 favorites]
If that's some sort of tracker, it's hella intrusive.
It looks like the least obstructive place on a seal's body to put it, to me. Anywhere else and it would get rolled on or knocked against rocks when swimming or otherwise be in the way. But that part of the head probably sees the least amount of bumps and scrapes and squeezes compared to any other part of the seal's body.
posted by msbrauer at 10:09 PM on November 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
It looks like the least obstructive place on a seal's body to put it, to me. Anywhere else and it would get rolled on or knocked against rocks when swimming or otherwise be in the way. But that part of the head probably sees the least amount of bumps and scrapes and squeezes compared to any other part of the seal's body.
posted by msbrauer at 10:09 PM on November 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
Turns out she was telling the truth that there was a seal, when most people thought sea lion.
posted by Tsuga at 10:42 PM on November 14, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by Tsuga at 10:42 PM on November 14, 2023 [8 favorites]
Car park seal: I would like to introduce you to Ocean going Cassowary - think you two should meet!
posted by rongorongo at 1:29 AM on November 15, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by rongorongo at 1:29 AM on November 15, 2023 [4 favorites]
No. no, they shouldn't mret at alll! Just think of the territying ocean-going hell-beast they might produce!
posted by Fuchsoid at 1:56 AM on November 15, 2023
posted by Fuchsoid at 1:56 AM on November 15, 2023
🎶”You picked a fine time to show up, Loose Seal!” 🎵
Or should that be “Loose Neil”?
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:22 AM on November 15, 2023 [9 favorites]
Or should that be “Loose Neil”?
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:22 AM on November 15, 2023 [9 favorites]
I did like the photo of him (presumably) rubbing his chin on a car’s wheel well. Looked like one of my cats going to town.
Although, do seals hibernate by just flopping down anywhere and calling it a month? It seems… untidy.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:30 AM on November 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
Although, do seals hibernate by just flopping down anywhere and calling it a month? It seems… untidy.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:30 AM on November 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
Why couldn’t the lady go in reverse?
posted by waving at 4:23 AM on November 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by waving at 4:23 AM on November 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
I assume because there would still be a significant danger of hurting Neil in the process, as well as the difficulty in getting to the car with the animal in such close proximity without provoking a regrettable response. Neil looks cute and kind of cuddly, but he’s a 600 kg (~1300 lb) wild animal. He seems fairly docile and habituated to humans, but, if I remember correctly, elephant seals, especially males, have uncertain tempers and can be quite violent if provoked. Imagine a reasonably friendly Brown Bear is asleep in front of your car. Do you go out and start it? Amber has the advantage that Neil is unlikely to see her as food, since she isn’t a fish or seabird, but still risky….
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:54 AM on November 15, 2023 [16 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:54 AM on November 15, 2023 [16 favorites]
does Neil do this for hire
asking for a friend
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:27 AM on November 15, 2023 [19 favorites]
asking for a friend
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:27 AM on November 15, 2023 [19 favorites]
This immediately reminded me of the lovely picture book about New Zealand’s own obstructive elephant seal - Elizabeth, Queen of the Seas.
posted by bitbotbit at 5:48 AM on November 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by bitbotbit at 5:48 AM on November 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
As one of our few Tasmanian Mefites, I feel compelled to leave a comment in this thread.
That is all.
*seal clap*
posted by rory at 6:05 AM on November 15, 2023 [27 favorites]
That is all.
*seal clap*
posted by rory at 6:05 AM on November 15, 2023 [27 favorites]
Actually, I do have a comment. Converting 600kg to 1322 pounds makes it look as if 600kg is Neil's exact weight rather than an estimate. I don't think they got him on the talking scales... ("Jeez, mate, lay off the fish 'n' chips, whydoncha?")
posted by rory at 6:11 AM on November 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by rory at 6:11 AM on November 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
more seal, less going into work. team Neil!!
posted by tamarack at 6:16 AM on November 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by tamarack at 6:16 AM on November 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
You know it's a legit excuse for missing work because she got it notarized with a seal and everything.
posted by eponym at 6:38 AM on November 15, 2023 [15 favorites]
posted by eponym at 6:38 AM on November 15, 2023 [15 favorites]
When we watched Deadloch a couple months ago, I thought the bit with the seal was just cute. Now you're telling me that actually happens in Tasmania? What else in Deadloch was true?
posted by Ber at 6:48 AM on November 15, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by Ber at 6:48 AM on November 15, 2023 [10 favorites]
One photo caption in the article:
Neil might have thought the deck needed to be resealed.
posted by doctornemo at 8:10 AM on November 15, 2023 [11 favorites]
Neil might have thought the deck needed to be resealed.
posted by doctornemo at 8:10 AM on November 15, 2023 [11 favorites]
Converting 600kg to 1322 pounds makes it look as if 600kg is Neil's exact weight rather than an estimate.
This has long been an issue with journalism. More than once I have seen a newspaper story mention that, e.g. after a gas explosion, "pieces of window glass were visible more than ten metres (32.8 feet) from the building".
I think it stems from overly rigorous application of a style guide. For many years, the Canadian Press seemed to insist that the ages of all the principals be noted, however irrelevant this was to the story at hand. Thus you'd bemusedly read an account of a speech by Ministers of Fisheries and Oceans John Fraser, 53 and that his remarks were criticized by Opposition Leader John Turner, 55. Okay then.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:11 AM on November 15, 2023 [5 favorites]
This has long been an issue with journalism. More than once I have seen a newspaper story mention that, e.g. after a gas explosion, "pieces of window glass were visible more than ten metres (32.8 feet) from the building".
I think it stems from overly rigorous application of a style guide. For many years, the Canadian Press seemed to insist that the ages of all the principals be noted, however irrelevant this was to the story at hand. Thus you'd bemusedly read an account of a speech by Ministers of Fisheries and Oceans John Fraser, 53 and that his remarks were criticized by Opposition Leader John Turner, 55. Okay then.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:11 AM on November 15, 2023 [5 favorites]
When we watched Deadloch a couple months ago, I thought the bit with the seal was just cute. Now you're telling me that actually happens in Tasmania? What else in Deadloch was true?
My thought exactly!!!
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:46 AM on November 15, 2023
My thought exactly!!!
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:46 AM on November 15, 2023
I once had a very early morning adventure when a squirrel somehow got into my bedroom; it knocked a screen out of the window and climbed in, then burrowed down into a stack of blankets sitting next to said window. I didn't know it had happened until a couple hours later, when I got up and went to shut the window and heard it chittering at me angrily.
I was entertaining a gentleman that evening and he got up to try to do battle (armed with an umbrella and a barbecue fork), but he gave up too; we called 911, unsure what to do, and they said we would need to call animal control in the morning. We decided to decamp to the living room; I left the window open and shut the door behind me. Before we went to sleep, I called my then-boss's voicemail and left him a lengthy explanation as to why I would likely be late to work in the morning.
When we woke up later, the squirrel was gone. I shut my window, the guy left for home, and I made myself a strong cup of coffee and called my boss to give him an update. But when I called, it took about a minute and a half for me to get a word in edgewise because he was laughing too hard.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:46 AM on November 15, 2023 [2 favorites]
I was entertaining a gentleman that evening and he got up to try to do battle (armed with an umbrella and a barbecue fork), but he gave up too; we called 911, unsure what to do, and they said we would need to call animal control in the morning. We decided to decamp to the living room; I left the window open and shut the door behind me. Before we went to sleep, I called my then-boss's voicemail and left him a lengthy explanation as to why I would likely be late to work in the morning.
When we woke up later, the squirrel was gone. I shut my window, the guy left for home, and I made myself a strong cup of coffee and called my boss to give him an update. But when I called, it took about a minute and a half for me to get a word in edgewise because he was laughing too hard.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:46 AM on November 15, 2023 [2 favorites]
Her boss has had it will her excuses.
Last week it was a flat tire.
This week it's a seal.
Who knows, next week blinker fluid?
posted by BlueHorse at 12:15 PM on November 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
Last week it was a flat tire.
This week it's a seal.
Who knows, next week blinker fluid?
posted by BlueHorse at 12:15 PM on November 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
Amber has the advantage that Neil is unlikely to see her as food, since she isn’t a fish or seabird, but still risky….
... unless Amber is the mascot for the Tasmanian Tasty Barramundis, that is.
posted by ensign_ricky at 3:52 PM on November 17, 2023
... unless Amber is the mascot for the Tasmanian Tasty Barramundis, that is.
posted by ensign_ricky at 3:52 PM on November 17, 2023
EmpressCallipygos I assume you've heard the Squirrel Cop episode of This American life, right?
And if you liked that, here's a bonus silly cop story also from TAL.
posted by ensign_ricky at 3:55 PM on November 17, 2023
And if you liked that, here's a bonus silly cop story also from TAL.
posted by ensign_ricky at 3:55 PM on November 17, 2023
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