Like "The Net", But For Real

April 4, 2024 9:50 AM

A high ranking Iowa hospital systems administrator has plead guilty to identity theft after stealing his former coworker's identity - for thirty years. (SLArs Technica)

The identity thief, Matthew Kieran, stole the identity of former coworker William Donald Woods after working with him at a hot dog stand back "around 1988" - first using his name to pass bad checks, but eventually securing false identity documents allowing him to obtain his position as well as secure loans. When Woods (who was unhoused at the time) learned of the debt in his name and tried to close the accounts, Kirean took an aggressive response by having Woods arrested for identity theft by LAPD, resulting in him being incarcerated/involuntarily committed for over a year and found guilty of felony identity theft over his actual name.

Ultimately, Kirean's scheme unraveled in 2023,when Woods contacted his employer and warned them of his identity fraud, initiating an investigation and DNA testing proving Wood's identity, and resulting in the charges against Kieran.

posted by NoxAeternum (36 comments total)

Woods presented his real Social Security card and an authentic state of California ID card, but the assistant branch manager became suspicious when Woods could not answer security questions that Kierans had set for the bank accounts.

What a completely backwards situation.
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:58 AM on April 4 [20 favorites]

This is such a strange story, but also I feel like most of my questions are fundamentally answered by two facts:

"Homeless man"

and

"LA cops"
posted by muddgirl at 10:10 AM on April 4 [60 favorites]

Totally. I was wondering how the real Wood didn't catch on earlier, and then the homeless paragraph pops up and the story gets even sadder.
posted by mrphancy at 10:13 AM on April 4 [4 favorites]

The part of this story that I don't understand is why Kierans would keep using Woods' identity for so long. Like, by my admittedly limited understanding, the value in stealing your hot-dog-stand co-worker's identity is that it's presumably disposable. Like, say, after you've committed check fraud to get a car that you soon after abandoned in Idaho somewhere. Once there are actual warrants out for that name, why the hell are you using it for credit applications and background checks? What is it gaining you by that point?
posted by Navelgazer at 10:19 AM on April 4 [17 favorites]

I’m assuming he did a murder under his real name? There had to be *something*.
posted by corb at 10:26 AM on April 4 [5 favorites]

But surely that would have been investigated during the proceedings and mentioned in the article.
posted by donio at 10:27 AM on April 4

resulting in him being incarcerated/involuntarily committed for over a year and found guilty of felony identity theft over his actual name.

This is like irrational fear #5 on my list of things that could happen to me but most likely won't. The Net really put the possibility in practical terms even though the ease of the premise wasn't realistic (as anyone who has ever tried to get disparate agencies and organizations to acknowledge a simple change of phone number can attest).
posted by Mitheral at 10:27 AM on April 4 [9 favorites]

I read the plea document which is even more fascinating than the summarizing articles. I think our human brains are strange and it's impossible to find rational reasons for most of our behaviors. But to me it seems like there's a real animosity for the perpetrator towards the victim.

One correction I would make to the Ars Technica summary - the case was finally unraveled by an experienced detective from a law enforcement agency near Iowa City, not by a private detective.
posted by muddgirl at 11:17 AM on April 4 [4 favorites]

The bank employee did what they were trained to do because it is much more common for thieves to use identity theft to get a drivers license and other documents to steal funds from an account.
posted by interogative mood at 11:25 AM on April 4 [1 favorite]

If I was an Albuquerque police detective I would immediately pivot to looking over cold cases from the mid to late 80s. This guy decided to deal with the bureaucracy on hard mode for decades for some reason, and I'd want to shake out what that was specifically before I could go on vacation peacefully.
posted by turntraitor at 11:33 AM on April 4 [23 favorites]

Why commit identity theft to lead a whole ass middle class life with work and bills and marriage?

I mean sure, if you're undocumented, or are running from something/someone, okay, I can see why I guess. Or if you steal the identity on a short term basis, milk it for all it's worth, then toss it aside, okay, terrible, but I see the thinking.

But like, what's the point of committing all of this crime to be a married working class drone in Iowa named William when--TWIST!--really you're a married working class drone in Iowa named Michael?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:39 AM on April 4 [19 favorites]

DOJ press release, "Former Hospital Administrator Pleads Guilty in Identity Theft Scheme That Spanned Three Decades."

If I was an Albuquerque police detective I would immediately pivot to looking over cold cases from the mid to late 80s.
See also: Colorado, Idaho, Oregon, Wisconsin, Iowa (if Kierans-as-Woods was ever summoned to the hospital's HQ)...

1988 - Kierans meets Woods when they work together at a hot dog cart in New Mexico (Woods was a teenage runaway)

1990 - Kierans, working as a paper carrier for the Denver Post, gets an ID document in Woods' name
1991 - Kierans-as-Woods kites checks, flees the state, abandons a car in Idaho, racks up an arrest warrant, & moves to Oregon
1994 - "Keirans, still using Woods' name, married a woman and had a child who also bore Woods' name."

2012 - Kierans moves to Wisconsin, researches Woods' family history via ancestry.com, gets a certified birth certificate from Kentucky, Woods' state of birth
2013 - Kierans hired by Iowa hospital to wfh as high-level IT admin, the "key administrator of critical systems"
2019 - Woods, unhoused at the time, discovers fraud, tries to prove his identity at a big bank's California branch; Kierans assists LAPD in Woods' arrest
2019 - Woods' public defender tells court their client does not have mental competency to stand trial

2020 - Woods, as per state court's order, is moved to & detained in California mental hospital until competency shapes up
2020 - Woods is dosed with psych meds, also as per court order
2021 - Woods, released from both hospital and jail, again unhoused, files reports with various authorities concerning Kierans' theft of his identity
2022 - see above
2023 - Woods learns of Kierans' employer, contacts its security department, is referred to local LEO
2023 - Woods provides a DNA sample which is conclusively matched to Woods' biological father during Iowa investigation

"Once the Iowa detective had the DNA evidence, he asked Kierans who his father was, and Kierans 'made a mistake,' giving his actual adoptive father's name instead of Woods' father's name."

"In total, Woods spent 428 days in jail and 147 days in a mental hospital because California officials failed to detect his true identity."
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:44 PM on April 4 [27 favorites]

This is a goddamn horror and while I don't support prison, I absolutely hope Matthew Kieran has to pay all his money gained from this identity theft to Mr. Woods. I don't know that $1.25 million is sufficient.

DirtyOldTown, I wouldn't say $70k income/year in Iowa is "working class".
posted by epj at 12:49 PM on April 4 [3 favorites]

I have a relative with this name (not this guy) and it seems to me to be a generic enough name to not raise attention.

I note my relative has to spell out his middle initial and PhD to differentiate.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:59 PM on April 4 [1 favorite]

According to the plea, Kierens was a teenage runaway and possibly had a warrant in CA or Oregon for, at the very least, car theft.
posted by muddgirl at 1:02 PM on April 4 [5 favorites]

DirtyOldTown, I wouldn't say $70k income/year in Iowa is "working class".

You're right, though. Honestly, I was just flying through that trying not to get too wordy saying "It isn't like he's rich or anything." I mean, if this scam made him doctor/lawyer money that'd be one thing, but this ain't it.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:14 PM on April 4

But like, what's the point of committing all of this crime to be a married working class drone in Iowa named William when--TWIST!--really you're a married working class drone in Iowa named Michael?

The Flitcraft Parable from Dashiell Hammett's The Maltese Falcon
posted by chavenet at 1:37 PM on April 4 [11 favorites]

^thanks for correcting the runaway detail, muddgirl. Woods was born in '66, Kierans was born in '68, which makes them 19 (or 20) and 18 (or 19) when meeting on the job in New Mexico? Also, why is it "Kierans" in all the articles, but "Keirans" in the legal filings??

By 2023, the culprit was making over 100K/year as an IT admin.

The plea has excerpts from K_rans' emails to authorities, following up on framing his victim.

March 2020: "I am [fake William Woods], we spoke before regarding this case. I am the person who had their ID compromised. I have left several voice mails at your office trying to find out what is happening with the case. Can you call me at 502-XXX-XXXX and let me know the status of the case. Thank you."

September 2020, an email to complain how the real Woods, then living in a homeless shelter, was still trying to clear his name: "[...] in the last two days he has filed 30 disputes with information on my credit report and I just spend the last 2hrs clearing all that up. I need some advice on what steps to take at this point." [At the time, Woods was on probation for the two felony convictions, had been ordered to pay $400 in fines and special assessments, and was instructed to use only his "true name."]

In response to the March email, the assistant district attorney explained that Woods had been "deemed incompetent, and the case was suspended or tolled until he regained competency, and with the pandemic and the process, it was unclear how long that would take."

In Spring 2020, the rate of identified Covid-19 cases in US prisons was five times greater than the non-incarcerated/general US population's Covid rate, and the death rate from infection was higher, too. California figures. People in shelters and detainees in state-funded psychiatric hospitals did not fare well either.
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:37 PM on April 4 [6 favorites]

One thing I'm tremendously curious about: what inspired the Iowa detective to do such excellent work. By the time Woods was referred to him/her, Kierans not only had a 30 year paper trail under Woods' identity, Woods had a conviction for stealing (his own) identity. And was a homeless dude to boot while Kierans had the respectable middle-class life. I feel like 99.99, possibly several more 9s, percent of cops would look at the records in the case and go 'poor guy, being persecuted by this nut'. What made the detective go 'huh. I think there might be something wrong here'?
posted by tavella at 2:57 PM on April 4 [21 favorites]

For the love of the game, I presume. I mean, he probably won't (or shouldn't have to) buy his own drinks for the rest of his life.
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:06 PM on April 4 [3 favorites]

Per the Gazette article, he was a University of Iowa police officer. Campus cops are generally not the most high end of law enforcement, even.
posted by tavella at 3:13 PM on April 4 [2 favorites]

Woods finally got somewhere when he contacted the University of Iowa Hospitals & Clinics (in January 2023). It's the third-largest employer in the state. In the plea, "the hospital's senior compliance coordinator referred the complaint to local law enforcement, which assigned an experienced detective to investigate."
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:44 PM on April 4 [1 favorite]

Campus cops are generally not the most high end of law enforcement, even.

I’m sure it varies from place to place, but over a couple of decades I watched UW campus cops deal with the same difficult populations of low level criminals and homeless people (not the same but with an overlap) that Seattle cops faced in the U-district, and the UW cops were far more effective.
posted by jamjam at 4:49 PM on April 4 [1 favorite]

The fraud part sucks, but the GETTING THE OTHER GUY INCARCERATED and not able to get out unless he promises nor to use his real name in the future is beyond the pale for me. This isn't a game.
posted by queensissy at 5:31 PM on April 4 [17 favorites]

The reason why the salary he made as Woods is unimpressive is because he worked his way up to it in the normal way over a normal period of time.

If he'd stolen the identity of an accomplished 35 year-old as a shortcut to success, that would be one thing, but he literally did all of the steps, not skipping any.

What even is the point of that?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:34 PM on April 4 [2 favorites]

https://delanceyplace.com/view-archives.php?p=316
posted by anshuman at 6:45 PM on April 4

1990 - Kierans, working as a paper carrier for the Denver Post, gets an ID document in Woods' name
1991 - Kierans-as-Woods kites checks, flees the state, abandons a car in Idaho, racks up an arrest warrant, & moves to Oregon

See this, to me, says "Kierans was involved in some shady stuff and thought he might need to leave in a hurry, so got a fake ID document that would let him flee and start a new life in an age before the internet. Then, something unknown happened so bad he wouldn't even forge checks under his own name but forged checks under his new identity and kept using it, which says whatever was under his old identity was worse, fled, abandoned a car, then fled another state."

I'm betting there's a body somewhere.
posted by corb at 6:51 PM on April 4 [13 favorites]

HIPAA is the real hero here. The law’s requirements regarding privacy and medical records is part of the reason that a compliance officer was concerned about a report that an employee in IT was engaged in identity theft. They couldn’t just dismiss the report a crank letter sent by a crazy person in Califronia. They needed the paper trail to show an investigation was done. Gotta be able to show your auditors that you have processes and you follow them.
posted by interogative mood at 9:21 PM on April 4 [18 favorites]

Muddgirl, could you please post a link to the plea deal document? I tried to find it and I'm not having any luck. Thanks.
posted by Metacircular at 1:42 PM on April 5 [2 favorites]

Here is the original reporting from the Register, and they link to the plea agreement (PDF).
posted by muddgirl at 2:25 PM on April 5 [3 favorites]

My theory fwiw is:

He was adopted and he ran away from home at 16. The simple explanation for the identity theft was that he probably was afraid of being sent back home to what was probably an awful situation in his adopted parent’s house. So he stole some guys ID and because it was before we connected all the data. That guy whose identity he stole stayed at the margins of society for decades. So decades passed and he had no reason to go back to his real identity and how would he explain it anyway. Since it never was a problem until it was suddenly when he’s in his mid-50s. He obviously panicked and lied. He should have immediately gotten a lawyer to help him find a less painful out of this predicament, but instead he tried lying and it almost worked.
posted by interogative mood at 3:54 PM on April 5 [2 favorites]

Except it was *Woods* who was the 16 year old runaway. Keirans was two years older than him, in fact.
posted by tavella at 1:43 AM on April 6 [1 favorite]

Paragraph PP of the plea agreement I linked.
posted by muddgirl at 8:13 AM on April 6

Oh, hmm, the Register article got it reversed I guess. However, it still isn't that relevant -- they met in 1988, when Keirans would have been 22, so no fear of being returned home was involved in this fraud. So you can stop sympathizing with him on that count.
posted by tavella at 11:23 AM on April 6

Bad parents and problematic family situations don’t magically vanish at 18 or 22. We don’t know his motive for running away; but it doesn’t seem unreasonable that identity theft might play a role in it. He did some terrible things to the real Woods and he’ll pay a steep price. I don’t pity or sympathize with him, I’m just curious about his motive as that seems unresolved in current reporting.
posted by interogative mood at 2:56 PM on April 7 [1 favorite]

CBS News, April 8, 2024: The news [of the decades-long fraud] stunned Keirans' family and friends. Letters written to the court on his behalf described him as a good father, kind and trustworthy.

"I believe Matt's motivation was simple: to create the family and home he did not have in his youth," wrote his wife of 30 years, Nancy Zimmer, who described him working to help her as she earned a doctorate in theology.

Their adult son identified himself as "the son of Matthew Keirans, formerly known as William Woods — in either case, known to me as Dad."
posted by Iris Gambol at 6:57 PM on April 9 [1 favorite]