Freedom. What is Autonomy to you? (Free Thread)
April 15, 2024 5:25 AM Subscribe
What does free will / autonomy / self agency mean to you? The right to choose your own destiny, to make your own mistakes, and to feel the consequences of your actions? Or talk about anything you like, it's your weekly Free Thread!
The ability to control one's conduct in a manner necessary for moral responsibility.
I'm partial to David Lewis' response to the incompatibility of determinism and free will. I particularly like the part where, in response to the premise that acting otherwise than one did would require the laws of the universe to have been different, he more or less says, yes, that's acceptable. It's not as if one is going to be in trouble in the alternative world for breaking this sort of law, and, at least on his view, the laws being different isn't more strange or difficult to imagine than anything else being different.
That's too much to get into on a Monday morning but I had to mention it because of nominative determinism.
posted by Hume at 5:59 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
I'm partial to David Lewis' response to the incompatibility of determinism and free will. I particularly like the part where, in response to the premise that acting otherwise than one did would require the laws of the universe to have been different, he more or less says, yes, that's acceptable. It's not as if one is going to be in trouble in the alternative world for breaking this sort of law, and, at least on his view, the laws being different isn't more strange or difficult to imagine than anything else being different.
That's too much to get into on a Monday morning but I had to mention it because of nominative determinism.
posted by Hume at 5:59 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
I care much less about freedom to than I do about freedom from. Without freedom from, freedom to is meaningless.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:00 AM on April 15 [14 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:00 AM on April 15 [14 favorites]
The older I get the less sure I am about free will as a concept, but you know what is awesome? The citrus and roasted halloumi salad I made for dinner last night. It is everything.
Also, I totally splurged on this outfit (self-link) last week, and I never felt so fashionable.
Also, can I brag? A short story of mine won an award and I think I'm going to Ireland in July. Unexpected, but awesome.
It's spring. It's gorgeous outside. April sucks in a lot of meaningul ways, but I love it when the flowers bloom and the world turns green again.
posted by thivaia at 6:40 AM on April 15 [24 favorites]
Also, I totally splurged on this outfit (self-link) last week, and I never felt so fashionable.
Also, can I brag? A short story of mine won an award and I think I'm going to Ireland in July. Unexpected, but awesome.
It's spring. It's gorgeous outside. April sucks in a lot of meaningul ways, but I love it when the flowers bloom and the world turns green again.
posted by thivaia at 6:40 AM on April 15 [24 favorites]
I'm with Faint of Butt
every passing year I feel like I need less to feel free. I want less, I expect less. I feel fortunate in my freedom, and I say this as a fairly busy person who forgets how lucky he is and bitches about the pettiest things. It's the freedom from noisy vehicles and the noisy people who own them and the din of what that means to me: worsening provincial and national politics, selfishness, and the disappearance of what makes communities work.
so if I have hopes for myself, it's to frame freedom increasingly in being clear-eyed and stick to my convictions and keep caring about myself and others.
posted by elkevelvet at 6:46 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
every passing year I feel like I need less to feel free. I want less, I expect less. I feel fortunate in my freedom, and I say this as a fairly busy person who forgets how lucky he is and bitches about the pettiest things. It's the freedom from noisy vehicles and the noisy people who own them and the din of what that means to me: worsening provincial and national politics, selfishness, and the disappearance of what makes communities work.
so if I have hopes for myself, it's to frame freedom increasingly in being clear-eyed and stick to my convictions and keep caring about myself and others.
posted by elkevelvet at 6:46 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
I say freedom from, you say freedom to, let's call the whole thing off.
posted by CynicalKnight at 6:50 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
posted by CynicalKnight at 6:50 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
My thesis is that we don't have free will but are wired to believe we do and incapable of divesting ourselves of that illusion. So it doesn't really matter, and we should all just be good to each other, inasmuch as we are capable of choosing to do that.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:59 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:59 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
Existential Comics. Let's get out of here man. Sartre. Can biological beings have freedom?
posted by TheophileEscargot at 7:04 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
posted by TheophileEscargot at 7:04 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
It's too early on a Monday to discuss the nature of free will. I wrote paragraphs, deleted paragraphs, rewrote, and decided, nah, this is outside of my wheelhouse. My free will says I don't have to write about free will if I don't want to.
My wife and I have been exercising free will over the past year; aside from my choosing to go to college, my wife has been devoting more of her time to her art and got a part-time job she loves, so with all this changing of how we spend our free time we recently decided to stop having booths in an antique mall -- having antique mall booths have been a consistent thing through our entire 20-year relationship, but it takes time and while it's profitable it's not a cash cow and since I have a full-time job it's mostly my wife's responsibility and she didn't want to have to deal with it any more -- so we decided not to renew our contract and need to have all 4 booths cleared out by April 25th. We're still going to do flea markets and other 'shows' -- we did a vintage show yesterday and made as much in one day as we did the entirety of last month at the antique mall. So, we're trading constant effort spread out over an entire month to two days of frantic work every month or so, which gives us back our weekends and makes us our own boss more, hopefully it'll work out.
Tiniest film school update: last week was a week off from class, in which what's supposed to happen is we ship out our film to the lab to be developed and get the film back to edit our final. I mailed mine the Wednesday before last; I got a confirmation of delivery from UPS on Tuesday, then an email from the lab saying they will let me know when it is done and ready to ship out. I got a concerned email from the professor on Thursday, asking if the lab had sent me an invoice for the processing, which only happens when they're done. I still have not received this invoice or confirmation of completion.
I think this semester we're doing the film processing different than in previous years and I think maybe the professor's estimate of when the film will be back so we can edit our final project (due the 1st week of May) is not quite correct. The last email from the lab I got estimated 5 - 7 business days, which means it should be done tomorrow or so, and should have it the end of this week or beginning of next week via UPS, but that doesn't give me much to do this week in class. I'm not even sure what we're doing in class today and I'm half expected it to be cancelled if nobody else has their film back either.
posted by AzraelBrown at 7:06 AM on April 15 [12 favorites]
My wife and I have been exercising free will over the past year; aside from my choosing to go to college, my wife has been devoting more of her time to her art and got a part-time job she loves, so with all this changing of how we spend our free time we recently decided to stop having booths in an antique mall -- having antique mall booths have been a consistent thing through our entire 20-year relationship, but it takes time and while it's profitable it's not a cash cow and since I have a full-time job it's mostly my wife's responsibility and she didn't want to have to deal with it any more -- so we decided not to renew our contract and need to have all 4 booths cleared out by April 25th. We're still going to do flea markets and other 'shows' -- we did a vintage show yesterday and made as much in one day as we did the entirety of last month at the antique mall. So, we're trading constant effort spread out over an entire month to two days of frantic work every month or so, which gives us back our weekends and makes us our own boss more, hopefully it'll work out.
Tiniest film school update: last week was a week off from class, in which what's supposed to happen is we ship out our film to the lab to be developed and get the film back to edit our final. I mailed mine the Wednesday before last; I got a confirmation of delivery from UPS on Tuesday, then an email from the lab saying they will let me know when it is done and ready to ship out. I got a concerned email from the professor on Thursday, asking if the lab had sent me an invoice for the processing, which only happens when they're done. I still have not received this invoice or confirmation of completion.
I think this semester we're doing the film processing different than in previous years and I think maybe the professor's estimate of when the film will be back so we can edit our final project (due the 1st week of May) is not quite correct. The last email from the lab I got estimated 5 - 7 business days, which means it should be done tomorrow or so, and should have it the end of this week or beginning of next week via UPS, but that doesn't give me much to do this week in class. I'm not even sure what we're doing in class today and I'm half expected it to be cancelled if nobody else has their film back either.
posted by AzraelBrown at 7:06 AM on April 15 [12 favorites]
Personal freedom is not being compelled by circumstances or other people to do something. Free will is what you exercise when you try to push back on those external influences when choosing a course of action. I often find myself muttering to myself "I can do whatever I want" when I'm feeling outside pressure, especially emotional; it's a signal to myself to consider my own interests and desires.
I still end up doing stuff I don't wanna do, but it's clearer in my head that I've chosen to do the thing, rather than having no choice. Which it is probably not completely true. But it keeps up the illusion of control.
There's a couple of onerous chores on today's todo list, and I will choose to do them. Cos guilt and self-loathing are still things too. Dammit.
posted by Artful Codger at 7:36 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
I still end up doing stuff I don't wanna do, but it's clearer in my head that I've chosen to do the thing, rather than having no choice. Which it is probably not completely true. But it keeps up the illusion of control.
There's a couple of onerous chores on today's todo list, and I will choose to do them. Cos guilt and self-loathing are still things too. Dammit.
posted by Artful Codger at 7:36 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
Vision Quest came out my senior year of high school and Journey's "Only The Young (Can Say They're Free To Fly Away)" didn't register with me then but it sure does now . .
posted by torokunai at 7:39 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]
posted by torokunai at 7:39 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]
Huh, posted the wrong link,it should have been Sartre.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 7:39 AM on April 15
posted by TheophileEscargot at 7:39 AM on April 15
we ship out our film to the lab to be developed
I'm kind of shocked that film schools are still having students shoot on actual film!
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:42 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
I'm kind of shocked that film schools are still having students shoot on actual film!
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:42 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
I came back to Monterey to work more on cleaning out my parent's house with my brother. I was especially struck this trip with how much more connected he is to our family history than I am. Like, I'm not connected at all, my memories of my grandparents and my mother are mostly limited to the last few years of their lives. But everything we touch he has some story about or some connection to (well, not the shitty right-wing political bullshit books that are everywhere). But like we cam across these two small patchwork suitcases that I wouldn't have looked twice at, and he was like "these are grandpa's. They have literally been all over the world" he was a biblical scholar and archaeologist, and he travelled all over the middle east and south America. And I knew this, but my brother really understood, and has this tangible connection.
I know why I don't have more of a connection, and I don't wish things were different with my family at this point, but it contributes to my feeling of profound lonliness. I was talking to a friend from high school, and in catching up she said "it sounds like you grew up without parental figures", and she really nailed it in a very plain and direct way.
posted by Gorgik at 7:47 AM on April 15 [7 favorites]
I know why I don't have more of a connection, and I don't wish things were different with my family at this point, but it contributes to my feeling of profound lonliness. I was talking to a friend from high school, and in catching up she said "it sounds like you grew up without parental figures", and she really nailed it in a very plain and direct way.
posted by Gorgik at 7:47 AM on April 15 [7 favorites]
I for one would love to pin the fault for my life on someone/something else.
posted by tommasz at 7:48 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 7:48 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
We did a very hard thing this weekend, basically putting on our own oxygen mask in preference to damaging ourselves even more for someone else's seemingly ungrateful benefit. We don't know how it's going to turn out for them, but getting our own health, safety, and sanity back is just starting to feel like a possibility after essentially years. I chose "freedom" as the basis of this post not only for the freedom of personal agency, but also the freedom of others to react to one's actions. Courage, my friends.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:48 AM on April 15 [16 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:48 AM on April 15 [16 favorites]
I will leave it to others to ponder freedom in terms of causality, biology, etc.
I love to think about language. When we think and type the word 'freedom' I like to think there is a way it's like any word we use to mean something.. it's an old ship in the oceans of our mind, and every usage over a lifetime adds something to that ship, a barnacle of association.. every utterance in conversation, entertainment, on the page
ghost ships, ghost words, know what I mean
posted by elkevelvet at 7:55 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
I love to think about language. When we think and type the word 'freedom' I like to think there is a way it's like any word we use to mean something.. it's an old ship in the oceans of our mind, and every usage over a lifetime adds something to that ship, a barnacle of association.. every utterance in conversation, entertainment, on the page
ghost ships, ghost words, know what I mean
posted by elkevelvet at 7:55 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
There's a lot going on in the cookersphere right now.
1. I rage applied for graduate school in January when something EVIL happened at work. I've heard from one of two schools: I've been admitted!
2. I quit my job in March (100% related to the EVIL thing from January), gave four weeks' notice in hopes that I would have something else lined up by then, my last day was April 10, and I don't currently have a job but IT IS OKAY. Something will come up, I'm sure of it, and besides: GRAD SCHOOL!
3. My son lost one of his cats early this morning. He got two kittens during the pandemic, his first sole pet responsibilities (he's lived on his own since graduating from college in 2019). We're not sure what caused her death; he had taken her to the emergency vet and she went downhill rapidly. They were able to stabilize her until he could get there to say goodbye. My heart hurts for him.
4. Our daughter's boyfriend texted my husband and me and asked if we could Skype him sometime this week without our daughter knowing. UM EXCUSE ME we think he might be getting ready to propose?? We adore him, they're great together, he makes her so happy. It's just...she's my baby. I barely held it together at her best friend's wedding last summer, how am I going to cope with my own child's wedding? But again, it's speculation; her birthday is also coming up but he would simply text about that. GAH! It's very exciting! And also very Fleetwood Mac Landslide, you know?
posted by cooker girl at 7:59 AM on April 15 [22 favorites]
1. I rage applied for graduate school in January when something EVIL happened at work. I've heard from one of two schools: I've been admitted!
2. I quit my job in March (100% related to the EVIL thing from January), gave four weeks' notice in hopes that I would have something else lined up by then, my last day was April 10, and I don't currently have a job but IT IS OKAY. Something will come up, I'm sure of it, and besides: GRAD SCHOOL!
3. My son lost one of his cats early this morning. He got two kittens during the pandemic, his first sole pet responsibilities (he's lived on his own since graduating from college in 2019). We're not sure what caused her death; he had taken her to the emergency vet and she went downhill rapidly. They were able to stabilize her until he could get there to say goodbye. My heart hurts for him.
4. Our daughter's boyfriend texted my husband and me and asked if we could Skype him sometime this week without our daughter knowing. UM EXCUSE ME we think he might be getting ready to propose?? We adore him, they're great together, he makes her so happy. It's just...she's my baby. I barely held it together at her best friend's wedding last summer, how am I going to cope with my own child's wedding? But again, it's speculation; her birthday is also coming up but he would simply text about that. GAH! It's very exciting! And also very Fleetwood Mac Landslide, you know?
posted by cooker girl at 7:59 AM on April 15 [22 favorites]
butts.
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 8:02 AM on April 15 [5 favorites]
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 8:02 AM on April 15 [5 favorites]
Externally, free will is recognizing that try as we might, we can't control others.
Internally, free will is a recognition of the chaos introduced by self reference (and your ability to self reference more broadly).
Orthogonally, free will is your ability to reject these definitions for your own preferences.
posted by grokus at 8:12 AM on April 15
Internally, free will is a recognition of the chaos introduced by self reference (and your ability to self reference more broadly).
Orthogonally, free will is your ability to reject these definitions for your own preferences.
posted by grokus at 8:12 AM on April 15
Freedom from… I’d love to have freedom from house and car payments. That’s on tap in a few years at least. We wanna start hitting the road with the camper, and go explore the west. Not only would that be fun, but all of the doggos freaking love the camper. They go out to it every time where in the back yard and they wanna hang out in there. They also love camping trips, so who are we to deny them that?
It’s been hard to drag myself out on the bike reason lately. Yesterday I did get out and went 10 miles up the nearby mountain. That’s a hard ride (but the trip down is fun…) Now I gotta go out this morning to help a family member get their swamp cooler going. That’s something I need to do here as well since 90 degree days are here.
posted by azpenguin at 8:13 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
It’s been hard to drag myself out on the bike reason lately. Yesterday I did get out and went 10 miles up the nearby mountain. That’s a hard ride (but the trip down is fun…) Now I gotta go out this morning to help a family member get their swamp cooler going. That’s something I need to do here as well since 90 degree days are here.
posted by azpenguin at 8:13 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
I am making the final payment on my mortgage today. It feels most peculiar. For the last . . . [counts on fingers] . . . 36 years I have had to shell out either rent or mortgage every month of my life, and now that's one less bell to answer. I guess that's freedom? I fully expect when I get home tonight that the house will have collapsed into a pile of rubble, or maybe disappeared entirely, poof.
posted by JanetLand at 8:27 AM on April 15 [26 favorites]
posted by JanetLand at 8:27 AM on April 15 [26 favorites]
I'm kind of shocked that film schools are still having students shoot on actual film!
Especially on the student level, the finite aspect of film forces you to focus on, think about, and plan your shots before you commit, which is a good aspect of the craft to instill in students.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:27 AM on April 15 [8 favorites]
Especially on the student level, the finite aspect of film forces you to focus on, think about, and plan your shots before you commit, which is a good aspect of the craft to instill in students.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:27 AM on April 15 [8 favorites]
A weird pet theory about freedom I have is that since we live in a world where basically everything is now owned, people are born into... I always think "enclosure" but that's not the right legalese. Anyway, if you're surrounded on all sides by other people's property, you ought to be entitled to an easement, which could take many forms - squatters' rights, UBI, land grants, etc.
I used to have lots of arguments with the "property rights above all" flavor of libertarian, and developed this notion in response... but I've given up on changing minds these days.
posted by McBearclaw at 8:32 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
I used to have lots of arguments with the "property rights above all" flavor of libertarian, and developed this notion in response... but I've given up on changing minds these days.
posted by McBearclaw at 8:32 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
I'm kind of shocked that film schools are still having students shoot on actual film!
The program I'm in at this school has always had a real-film component, the 'old guard' was very film centric until they retired/passed during the 2010s but their successors have continued it. Schools that did stop using film have started bringing it back, University of Minnesota is apparently currently hiring a professor of really-real film right now. But, my professor's undergrad and grad schools were very film focused, which is how he got this job.
But, it's a lot like art programs still having a film photography class: it teaches you to think about what you want to put on the film before you actually shoot it. Incidentally, I have that photography class next fall, with the Advanced 16mm film, so my entire schedule is analog-and-chemical-film classes.
Like, the 100-level filmmaking class used digital because it's easy to look through the viewfinder, turn the aperture until the zebra stripes go away or it's bright enough to see what you're shooting (and auto-ISO fixes the rest), let autofocus do its thing, and then all you need to do is frame the shot.
With film, you have to understand what the light meter's telling you, and maybe use a tape measure to see how far away your subject is, and then read the actual numbers on the lens to turn things to the right values. To do this, you need to understand filmmaking, not just mess around until it looks right.
Plus: a lot of your Oscar-winning films are still being filmed on actual film too -- the industry is still quite film-focused, it's not as big as it used to be but artistically still has function and value and it'd be shortsighted to not teach it.
posted by AzraelBrown at 8:34 AM on April 15 [6 favorites]
The program I'm in at this school has always had a real-film component, the 'old guard' was very film centric until they retired/passed during the 2010s but their successors have continued it. Schools that did stop using film have started bringing it back, University of Minnesota is apparently currently hiring a professor of really-real film right now. But, my professor's undergrad and grad schools were very film focused, which is how he got this job.
But, it's a lot like art programs still having a film photography class: it teaches you to think about what you want to put on the film before you actually shoot it. Incidentally, I have that photography class next fall, with the Advanced 16mm film, so my entire schedule is analog-and-chemical-film classes.
Like, the 100-level filmmaking class used digital because it's easy to look through the viewfinder, turn the aperture until the zebra stripes go away or it's bright enough to see what you're shooting (and auto-ISO fixes the rest), let autofocus do its thing, and then all you need to do is frame the shot.
With film, you have to understand what the light meter's telling you, and maybe use a tape measure to see how far away your subject is, and then read the actual numbers on the lens to turn things to the right values. To do this, you need to understand filmmaking, not just mess around until it looks right.
Plus: a lot of your Oscar-winning films are still being filmed on actual film too -- the industry is still quite film-focused, it's not as big as it used to be but artistically still has function and value and it'd be shortsighted to not teach it.
posted by AzraelBrown at 8:34 AM on April 15 [6 favorites]
> "property rights above all" flavor of libertarian
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lockean_proviso
posted by torokunai at 8:38 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lockean_proviso
posted by torokunai at 8:38 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
The nonexistence of free will just seems like one of those physics things that are mind-blowing yet have no practical relevance on my life, like mass being determined by string vibrations, or space having 10 dimensions at small scales.
If anyone more learned in physics than I can offer a practical way to think about it, I'd love to hear it.
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:44 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
If anyone more learned in physics than I can offer a practical way to think about it, I'd love to hear it.
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:44 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
I am also exercising my free will this year to leave the US and go back to my hometown in Canada which should be much healthier for me. In the past few years, Nashville has had a terrorist bombing and several spree shootings (most notably the Covenant school shooting and the one that was averted by the Waffle House Hero) and between that and the politics here I'm feeling very hemmed in, so moving home feels like a big freeing event. Plus I'll be moving from a residence with a walkscore of 1 to a residence with a walkscore of 65.
posted by joannemerriam at 8:47 AM on April 15 [10 favorites]
posted by joannemerriam at 8:47 AM on April 15 [10 favorites]
I did a thing which I never do. Free will? Must be. But I also understand (kind of, biologically-etc) why it is not.
The thing was leaving my house in the north suburbs, for an event in Chicago (north side). I added it as a meetup here but only a couple folks saw it and if it prodded anyone to come, I did not meet them. I did post an after-event summary.
thivaia - congrats on your story award, how cool!
AzraelBrown - canceling the antique mall and sticking with the flea market sounds like the perfect solution. Sounds like fun! I would visit if I were in MN.
JanetLand wow, congrats on your final mortgage payment!
posted by Glinn at 8:48 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
The thing was leaving my house in the north suburbs, for an event in Chicago (north side). I added it as a meetup here but only a couple folks saw it and if it prodded anyone to come, I did not meet them. I did post an after-event summary.
thivaia - congrats on your story award, how cool!
AzraelBrown - canceling the antique mall and sticking with the flea market sounds like the perfect solution. Sounds like fun! I would visit if I were in MN.
JanetLand wow, congrats on your final mortgage payment!
posted by Glinn at 8:48 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
Thanks, torokunai! I read a lot of Locke way back, but searching for "enclosure" over the years has not led me back to him. Nice summary of subsequent analysis on that page, too.
posted by McBearclaw at 8:50 AM on April 15
posted by McBearclaw at 8:50 AM on April 15
I will choose a path that’s clear, I will choose free will.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 8:59 AM on April 15 [7 favorites]
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 8:59 AM on April 15 [7 favorites]
I for one would love to pin the fault for my life on someone/something else.
Me too, but I tend to think that the core problem is always me, and it's me being me. If I wasn't me, and if being weird little me brings out RAGE in people, then who's the problem? It's me. Even if I did absolutely nothing to the person and they decided to make my life hell because that's what they wanted to do, the core problem is me rubbing people the wrong way with my existence even if I was quietly sitting in my cubicle minding my own business. And everyone else regards it as "you're the problem, it's you" and the solution is to get rid of me.
I have good and bad news this week. My odds of getting reassigned at my current organization are down the toilet. I have one more job to apply for before my preferential treatment time runs out at the end of April, but it's not great odds and the only reason I can apply is they didn't write their job description very well to rule me out. After that I have until July before I'm medically separated, but then I go back to having to be a "competitive" candidate whose HR file of shame can and will be read. So, there's no hope to keep trying there. Also, hiring freezes both at my org and state employment may drop at any minute. I was originally told mid-May, but since the jobs I applied for at my org were frozen in early April....
RIGHT after that depressing meeting, I got a tentative job offer for the least likely job. This interview was in February, only lasted 15 minutes, and was the worst I ever had in my life, with an extremely undesirable location and in-person work and it's a huge pay cut. They were short staffed and didn't get around to processing the job for over a month, and I got the impression that better candidates have gotten jobs by now and they were stuck with me, as the guy was frantic and demanded an answer on the spot. I have to take it. It's tentative as long as they are waiting on the background check, but the start date they want to shoot for is May 1.
This is the best I can manifest, apparently, but at this point I'm desperate and if I get an official offer, I need to take it and get hired before a freeze happens. Period. I'm really scared, but I have no choice at this point but to get out of here ASAP. It's possible that some other job may contact me later and then I could get out, and it's important that I "get in" before I can't get hired anywhere but Wal-Mart, so.
I've been pondering manifestation because I was in an online manifestation group during the pandemic, and everyone else got what they wanted (houses, mostly) except me. I totally failed at it. Now, I probably wanted the wrong thing (true love, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH) with the wrong person ('nuff said), but also, there just seems to be something....off...about me when I want anything that isn't something small. I've been doing my damndest to find another job and...this is the one that came up? The universe is laughing at me, clearly.
As for free will, fuck if I know. I think some things may be destined and some things may be open. I think some things frankly depend on the possibilities out there. My possibilities have always been limited, to say the least, which is probably the main problem.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:06 AM on April 15 [13 favorites]
Me too, but I tend to think that the core problem is always me, and it's me being me. If I wasn't me, and if being weird little me brings out RAGE in people, then who's the problem? It's me. Even if I did absolutely nothing to the person and they decided to make my life hell because that's what they wanted to do, the core problem is me rubbing people the wrong way with my existence even if I was quietly sitting in my cubicle minding my own business. And everyone else regards it as "you're the problem, it's you" and the solution is to get rid of me.
I have good and bad news this week. My odds of getting reassigned at my current organization are down the toilet. I have one more job to apply for before my preferential treatment time runs out at the end of April, but it's not great odds and the only reason I can apply is they didn't write their job description very well to rule me out. After that I have until July before I'm medically separated, but then I go back to having to be a "competitive" candidate whose HR file of shame can and will be read. So, there's no hope to keep trying there. Also, hiring freezes both at my org and state employment may drop at any minute. I was originally told mid-May, but since the jobs I applied for at my org were frozen in early April....
RIGHT after that depressing meeting, I got a tentative job offer for the least likely job. This interview was in February, only lasted 15 minutes, and was the worst I ever had in my life, with an extremely undesirable location and in-person work and it's a huge pay cut. They were short staffed and didn't get around to processing the job for over a month, and I got the impression that better candidates have gotten jobs by now and they were stuck with me, as the guy was frantic and demanded an answer on the spot. I have to take it. It's tentative as long as they are waiting on the background check, but the start date they want to shoot for is May 1.
This is the best I can manifest, apparently, but at this point I'm desperate and if I get an official offer, I need to take it and get hired before a freeze happens. Period. I'm really scared, but I have no choice at this point but to get out of here ASAP. It's possible that some other job may contact me later and then I could get out, and it's important that I "get in" before I can't get hired anywhere but Wal-Mart, so.
I've been pondering manifestation because I was in an online manifestation group during the pandemic, and everyone else got what they wanted (houses, mostly) except me. I totally failed at it. Now, I probably wanted the wrong thing (true love, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH) with the wrong person ('nuff said), but also, there just seems to be something....off...about me when I want anything that isn't something small. I've been doing my damndest to find another job and...this is the one that came up? The universe is laughing at me, clearly.
As for free will, fuck if I know. I think some things may be destined and some things may be open. I think some things frankly depend on the possibilities out there. My possibilities have always been limited, to say the least, which is probably the main problem.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:06 AM on April 15 [13 favorites]
how bout not having a bunch of old men dictate what I can and cannot do with my body and my health? I'll take that freedom!
posted by supermedusa at 9:15 AM on April 15 [10 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 9:15 AM on April 15 [10 favorites]
Freedom's just another word for how much of an asshole you're willing to be.
posted by MrVisible at 9:23 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
posted by MrVisible at 9:23 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
What does free will / autonomy / self agency mean to you?
More boring, unsolvable, and nevertheless often heated philosophical discussions for me to avoid.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:27 AM on April 15
More boring, unsolvable, and nevertheless often heated philosophical discussions for me to avoid.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:27 AM on April 15
a barnacle of association
Username up for grabs!
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:28 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]
Username up for grabs!
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:28 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]
mass being determined by string vibrations
Some masses have strings, others are choir-based.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:28 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
Some masses have strings, others are choir-based.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:28 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
I care much less about freedom to than I do about freedom from. Without freedom from, freedom to is meaningless.
posted by Faint of Butt
Thy name fair MeFite doth make a lie of your stated goal
For if thou havest' freedom from farts
Thou havest' not freedom to toot
#DidYouThinkOfThatNozickYouAssole?
posted by lalochezia at 9:29 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]
@thivaia The outfit is *excellent*!!
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 9:37 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 9:37 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]
Coming out of a long period of alcoholism, I understand all too well what it means to lose free will. 'Free will' may be an illusion, but it's better than the nightmare of an uncontrollable compulsion.
posted by SPrintF at 9:39 AM on April 15 [9 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 9:39 AM on April 15 [9 favorites]
jenfullmoon, I am so sorry you are going through it, and I hope whatever job situation you ultimately find at least keeps body and soul together long enough for things to get better for you. I'm in a weird job limbo right now myself and not sure whether it's time to panic yet.
I don't really care about Big Philosophy Questions most of the time, and how "free" my will is seems so ultimately unknowable as to be meaningless. I dunno, man, I mostly just try to keep on top of buying groceries and paying bills.
It's a beautiful day here in Denver, like it was yesterday, and all the trees are budding and birds singing. My child is back with me and I'm glad.
As for freedom in the general sense of politics, I'm crouched in a tense waiting position and desperately hoping we scramble back from the abyss in November. There's not much else that matters there. But if we manage to, then freedom will mean being able to conceive of a future at all, and I'd really like that.
posted by emjaybee at 10:12 AM on April 15 [5 favorites]
I don't really care about Big Philosophy Questions most of the time, and how "free" my will is seems so ultimately unknowable as to be meaningless. I dunno, man, I mostly just try to keep on top of buying groceries and paying bills.
It's a beautiful day here in Denver, like it was yesterday, and all the trees are budding and birds singing. My child is back with me and I'm glad.
As for freedom in the general sense of politics, I'm crouched in a tense waiting position and desperately hoping we scramble back from the abyss in November. There's not much else that matters there. But if we manage to, then freedom will mean being able to conceive of a future at all, and I'd really like that.
posted by emjaybee at 10:12 AM on April 15 [5 favorites]
jenfullmoon, I hope things get better for you. Making the best of a bad situation is always so tough.
posted by joannemerriam at 10:33 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]
posted by joannemerriam at 10:33 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]
jenfullmoon, for what it's worth I think the world is a better place when you aren't feeling lousy and anxious
hang in there, sorry you're having such a bloody rough patch
posted by elkevelvet at 10:51 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
hang in there, sorry you're having such a bloody rough patch
posted by elkevelvet at 10:51 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
I finally feel (mostly) over my sinusitis and can (mostly) breathe again.
I will share my one weird trick! that I believe helped me get better. I kept reading over and over that one of the hardest parts of sinusitis is when you're so blocked you can't breathe through your nose in your sleep, so you automatically revert to breathing through your mouth. However, I kept reading, this isn't an efficient way to get oxygen, so you wake up fatigued. I sure kept waking up fatigued, so I wanted to do something about it. I ended up ordering mini-cans of compressed oxygen, meant for runners/athletes at altitude. They were like $11 each. Right before bed, as well as any time I woke up overnight, I drew in several deep breaths of 95% pure oxygen. My sleep improved dramatically, which also made it easier to recover.
Now that I'm feeling better, I'm resolving to try and be less of a grouchy crank. I hope this is a far better week.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:07 AM on April 15 [12 favorites]
I will share my one weird trick! that I believe helped me get better. I kept reading over and over that one of the hardest parts of sinusitis is when you're so blocked you can't breathe through your nose in your sleep, so you automatically revert to breathing through your mouth. However, I kept reading, this isn't an efficient way to get oxygen, so you wake up fatigued. I sure kept waking up fatigued, so I wanted to do something about it. I ended up ordering mini-cans of compressed oxygen, meant for runners/athletes at altitude. They were like $11 each. Right before bed, as well as any time I woke up overnight, I drew in several deep breaths of 95% pure oxygen. My sleep improved dramatically, which also made it easier to recover.
Now that I'm feeling better, I'm resolving to try and be less of a grouchy crank. I hope this is a far better week.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:07 AM on April 15 [12 favorites]
I'm leaving for Neotropolis on Friday (I do build crew). I'm also having a vendor booth at the event for the first time ever. :)
I got freedom from being a co-signer for my ex last week when he refinanced his car. Here's looking forward to an improvement to my credit score! I'll probably trade up my 2015 Leaf for something newer in late Spring.
Had a slight facepalm moment with my sister yesterday. No, really, you can do all you can to live a healthy life, but stuff like spinal stenosis can't be prevented. She can be SUCH a normie sometimes. :/
Speaking of things that can't be prevented, I lost an acquaintance recently (their nickname was Fighty Smurf). They had Wilson's Disease and wasn't meant to live a long life. Such a great soul. I feel so much for those whose lives will be empty without their presence.
On the bright side, I only have today and tomorrow at work and then I'll be off for the rest of April. :)
Oh, and freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.
posted by luckynerd at 11:20 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
I got freedom from being a co-signer for my ex last week when he refinanced his car. Here's looking forward to an improvement to my credit score! I'll probably trade up my 2015 Leaf for something newer in late Spring.
Had a slight facepalm moment with my sister yesterday. No, really, you can do all you can to live a healthy life, but stuff like spinal stenosis can't be prevented. She can be SUCH a normie sometimes. :/
Speaking of things that can't be prevented, I lost an acquaintance recently (their nickname was Fighty Smurf). They had Wilson's Disease and wasn't meant to live a long life. Such a great soul. I feel so much for those whose lives will be empty without their presence.
On the bright side, I only have today and tomorrow at work and then I'll be off for the rest of April. :)
Oh, and freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.
posted by luckynerd at 11:20 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]
For whatever reason, I've been really struggling physically and psychologically for the past few week. I need to get my annual bariatric bloodwork done. Maybe on lunch tomorrow. I saw my therapist today and she encouraged me to send a letter to my psych NP. It's open in my browser, but I just don't know what to say. I think I'm going to go outside and either scream or cry before I have to clock in at 3.
posted by kathrynm at 11:28 AM on April 15 [5 favorites]
posted by kathrynm at 11:28 AM on April 15 [5 favorites]
I wondered when Janis was going to make an appearance. Thanks luckynerd.
Little update on Diva Grigio Anguila, our new-to-us Siamese/Bengal roomie. She's chewed through two lengths of aramid (kevlar) fiber that operate my robots. Replacement is simple so it's not a big deal, but she does like to floss. Unfortunately, she has also been going at the nylon pigeon netting that keeps cats from falling off our 9th floor balcony. Today I put up a second 2x25' run of metal poultry netting to keep her from getting to it, or at least if she does chew a hole in the nylon, she won't get the rest of her body through the wire. Our balcony has a bit of a cage atmosphere about it now, but there's still lots of sun and breeze.
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:40 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
Little update on Diva Grigio Anguila, our new-to-us Siamese/Bengal roomie. She's chewed through two lengths of aramid (kevlar) fiber that operate my robots. Replacement is simple so it's not a big deal, but she does like to floss. Unfortunately, she has also been going at the nylon pigeon netting that keeps cats from falling off our 9th floor balcony. Today I put up a second 2x25' run of metal poultry netting to keep her from getting to it, or at least if she does chew a hole in the nylon, she won't get the rest of her body through the wire. Our balcony has a bit of a cage atmosphere about it now, but there's still lots of sun and breeze.
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:40 AM on April 15 [3 favorites]
so, seanmpuckett: when I see videos of Bengals lunging into open fridges to drag family-sized packs of raw chicken thighs before racing away with their stolen booty..
it be you?
the one Bengal owner I know appeared at work one day, and I asked "WHAT HAPPENED" and the nonchalance and resignation "I had to grab my daughter's Bengal from bolting out the door" just the way his voice sounded.. I am used to looking like I've been savaged by a ferocious wild animal
posted by elkevelvet at 11:59 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
it be you?
the one Bengal owner I know appeared at work one day, and I asked "WHAT HAPPENED" and the nonchalance and resignation "I had to grab my daughter's Bengal from bolting out the door" just the way his voice sounded.. I am used to looking like I've been savaged by a ferocious wild animal
posted by elkevelvet at 11:59 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
I have no thoughts on free will that will fit in this text box.
This week I am feeling free of the nagging worry about our fence being ready to fall over because it was damaged repeatedly in storms the two years before. (I live in Dallas, so tornado country, and high winds in the spring and fall even when it's not actually tornados.) Finally we have wrestled the money out of the insurance people and gotten the contractors and completed the work. The prize: we have a very large wind chime set we bought at a renaissance festival last spring to put up and now we're gonna hire a handyman to install it. Soon I will have the tinkling noise of chimes to listen to.
Also grateful to still be cancer-free!
posted by gentlyepigrams at 12:06 PM on April 15 [8 favorites]
This week I am feeling free of the nagging worry about our fence being ready to fall over because it was damaged repeatedly in storms the two years before. (I live in Dallas, so tornado country, and high winds in the spring and fall even when it's not actually tornados.) Finally we have wrestled the money out of the insurance people and gotten the contractors and completed the work. The prize: we have a very large wind chime set we bought at a renaissance festival last spring to put up and now we're gonna hire a handyman to install it. Soon I will have the tinkling noise of chimes to listen to.
Also grateful to still be cancer-free!
posted by gentlyepigrams at 12:06 PM on April 15 [8 favorites]
Greg is wonderful in ways that are sometimes a challenge. She talks a lot, has needs and wants and opinions, and expresses them. She is very good with language and tone of voice and knows a come hither Greg from a you should not do that Greg. She understands no and she will tell me I am an asshole if I correct her, but she stops anyway. She bites threads which is not great. She needs a lot of interact and enrichment. She is 15 months old and still growing. She has made a good friend out of elder Uncle Spike, who is nearly 11 and needed desperately another cat in the house after his brother died. Greg will come to bed and lie on us. She is entirely a cat. She will knock things down. Remember where toys are. Yell at me when it’s play time.
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:24 PM on April 15 [6 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:24 PM on April 15 [6 favorites]
She sounds positively Greg-arious!
posted by notoriety public at 12:52 PM on April 15 [4 favorites]
posted by notoriety public at 12:52 PM on April 15 [4 favorites]
Over time we forget how many decisions we make in our early lives (10s-20s) that are impactful. Then when we're older we become afraid to change course in dramatic fashion for whatever slew of reasons (excuses) so it feels like there are no more fateful decisions left for us, but there are.
posted by thorny at 1:25 PM on April 15 [4 favorites]
posted by thorny at 1:25 PM on April 15 [4 favorites]
I just discovered that a friend passed away in December, but all of our mutual friends only hang out on Facebook (and I don't), so I only found out on Saturday. Dammit. She'd been so helpful about our move to Toronto in 2002, and was impossibly upbeat about everything the whole time, even when she had to use supplementary oxygen to get out and about. Since we mostly met through very specific live music shows, I hadn't seen her in a few years. If you were an indie music nerd in Toronto in the 90s, you'd have known Randi. Crohn's is a bastard.
So I guess that's "free", as in free to be the personal data product being sold.
posted by scruss at 1:58 PM on April 15 [5 favorites]
So I guess that's "free", as in free to be the personal data product being sold.
posted by scruss at 1:58 PM on April 15 [5 favorites]
Y'all are very sweet.
I got several job rejections today, most of which I don't care about, but my favorite job that I applied for was one of them *cries* This was followed by my NEW worst interview ever, in which they wanted me to give details about their job field, and frankly, I could not. I read their website and was unclear as to what they actually DO (bunch of business stuff?! like, very assorted random business stuff and I'm not even sure what this job does of that?), and even they admitted it's not clear to outsiders and my job is probably similar enough to it. But, still, blown. It's fine because it was pretty much my current job but in a different field and on the phones all day getting random catchall questions and once I found that out I wasn't exactly psyched about it any more, but I embarrassed myself and came off as an unprepared idiot, and I hate that.
I then applied for nine more jobs today. I would like to leave you with one joke: one of them wanted me to answer 11 questions and printed the same question for #2 and #4, "ability to take initiative and strong attention to detail." My response to #4 was, "I notice the detail that this question has been listed twice on the list, and will take the initiative to refer you to question #2 where this has already been answered."
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:21 PM on April 15 [17 favorites]
I got several job rejections today, most of which I don't care about, but my favorite job that I applied for was one of them *cries* This was followed by my NEW worst interview ever, in which they wanted me to give details about their job field, and frankly, I could not. I read their website and was unclear as to what they actually DO (bunch of business stuff?! like, very assorted random business stuff and I'm not even sure what this job does of that?), and even they admitted it's not clear to outsiders and my job is probably similar enough to it. But, still, blown. It's fine because it was pretty much my current job but in a different field and on the phones all day getting random catchall questions and once I found that out I wasn't exactly psyched about it any more, but I embarrassed myself and came off as an unprepared idiot, and I hate that.
I then applied for nine more jobs today. I would like to leave you with one joke: one of them wanted me to answer 11 questions and printed the same question for #2 and #4, "ability to take initiative and strong attention to detail." My response to #4 was, "I notice the detail that this question has been listed twice on the list, and will take the initiative to refer you to question #2 where this has already been answered."
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:21 PM on April 15 [17 favorites]
jenfullmoon, that's probably exactly the response they're hoping for! I hope it gives you a leg up over the other candidates.
posted by cinnamonduff at 6:30 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]
posted by cinnamonduff at 6:30 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]
I don't want your freedom
I don't want to play around
I don't want nobody, baby
Part-time love just brings me down
I don't want your freedom
Girl, all I want right now is you
But also...
Freedom (I won't let you down)
Freedom (I will not give you up)
Freedom (Gotta have some faith in the sound)
You've got to give what you take (It's the one good thing that I've got)
Freedom (I won't let you down)
Freedom (So please don't give me up)
Freedom ('Cause I would really)
You've got to give what you take (really love to stick around)
George Michael being complex about Freedom
posted by hippybear at 6:35 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]
I don't want to play around
I don't want nobody, baby
Part-time love just brings me down
I don't want your freedom
Girl, all I want right now is you
But also...
Freedom (I won't let you down)
Freedom (I will not give you up)
Freedom (Gotta have some faith in the sound)
You've got to give what you take (It's the one good thing that I've got)
Freedom (I won't let you down)
Freedom (So please don't give me up)
Freedom ('Cause I would really)
You've got to give what you take (really love to stick around)
George Michael being complex about Freedom
posted by hippybear at 6:35 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]
Speaking of George Michael, I recently discovered that before he died, after the release of his album Patience, he was releasing singles on a regular basis that weren't a part of any album? I've been astonished at the songs I'm discovering. I own all his albums and a ton of his singles but this is all material new to me and it's been a lot of fun to discover it exists. These aren't posthumous releases -- they're sort of non-album singles. Apparently some of them even charted in the UK. Here in the US, I don't know anyone who knows about them.
posted by hippybear at 6:40 PM on April 15
posted by hippybear at 6:40 PM on April 15
Yeah, I said I knew this ruled me out for the job* and debated whether or not to just end the interview now and not waste anyone's time further, and they were all, "you never know..." Which is bizarrely funny considering my previous Worst Interview Ever and its follow-up, but I'm not ready to talk about that one in public yet.
* I note I'm used to the state's "we score every answer" protocol and this place seemed to be doing the same thing.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:54 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]
* I note I'm used to the state's "we score every answer" protocol and this place seemed to be doing the same thing.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:54 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]
jenfullmoon, that is a totally appropriate answer to that question.
I've had a couple of horror shows of interviews in the past. The worse have always been with individuals who were clearly combative and NOT INTERESTED in having a conversation with me.
I'm up far too early with pre-travel jitters. I'm headed to Chicago tomorrow to see a friend. We are going to Magnetic Fields and a Cubs game and I am really excited spend time with her.
Maupin gives George Michael a wink and a nod in Mona of the Manor, which was pretty hilarious. He must have been in the air yesterday as he was my commute home jam, Fastlove specifically. But then I veered off into a series of his sadder ballads then back into happier tunes. I have a soft spot for I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me), he is so joyous in that song.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 2:23 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]
I've had a couple of horror shows of interviews in the past. The worse have always been with individuals who were clearly combative and NOT INTERESTED in having a conversation with me.
I'm up far too early with pre-travel jitters. I'm headed to Chicago tomorrow to see a friend. We are going to Magnetic Fields and a Cubs game and I am really excited spend time with her.
Maupin gives George Michael a wink and a nod in Mona of the Manor, which was pretty hilarious. He must have been in the air yesterday as he was my commute home jam, Fastlove specifically. But then I veered off into a series of his sadder ballads then back into happier tunes. I have a soft spot for I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me), he is so joyous in that song.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 2:23 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]
At the last family gathering, my father exercised his freedom to be an asshole by picking a fight with an in-law, and he has now gone full DARVO about it. I think if I were smart, I would exercise my freedom to make alternate plans and spend next Thanksgiving off on a camping trip, but I feel responsible for maintaining/trying to salvage tradition and family ties, so instead I am getting an early start on dreading the holidays.
I did a weekend art workshop that was delightful - a little technique and a lot of supplies. A very small amount of freedom in the grand scheme, but I really enjoyed the time to do some low-stakes playing around.
posted by mersen at 6:06 AM on April 16 [2 favorites]
I did a weekend art workshop that was delightful - a little technique and a lot of supplies. A very small amount of freedom in the grand scheme, but I really enjoyed the time to do some low-stakes playing around.
posted by mersen at 6:06 AM on April 16 [2 favorites]
Without freedom from, freedom to is meaningless.
Agree. Freedom is implied to be free of bondage, which is its value. It may not have value to someone who has always been free, who rather see it as their luck or fate. Our will is usually experienced as prejudice that predetermines our choices, so the point is to be relatively unbounded by the past. This allows freedom to be the same as objectivity, a loaded term because we are never not subjective. But if objectivity is a resisted subjectivity, also known as moderation, we are more free to find and direct our self-interests, or lead others while avoiding delusion.
posted by Brian B. at 7:39 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]
Agree. Freedom is implied to be free of bondage, which is its value. It may not have value to someone who has always been free, who rather see it as their luck or fate. Our will is usually experienced as prejudice that predetermines our choices, so the point is to be relatively unbounded by the past. This allows freedom to be the same as objectivity, a loaded term because we are never not subjective. But if objectivity is a resisted subjectivity, also known as moderation, we are more free to find and direct our self-interests, or lead others while avoiding delusion.
posted by Brian B. at 7:39 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]
And the giant foot just came down. Today multiple layoffs hit my unit and there will be more tomorrow. Apparently this is just the first wave - local leadership cannot say whether there will be more in the future for my specific LOB. And the decision came from above my grandboss.
I am upset.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 10:45 AM on April 16 [3 favorites]
I am upset.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 10:45 AM on April 16 [3 favorites]
I've been through that - you have my sympathy.
I was in the first round, and it came absolutely out of nowhere. If my supervisor hadn't quietly tipped me off beforehand I would have been just as blindsided as the other 11 or 12 people who got the axe. It was a small company so everybody knew each other personally; everyone was shocked and tearful. It was a bad time. Later I heard from a former coworker that the rounds continued every year until about 80% of the employees had gotten sacked (if they hadn't already left on their own), then the parent company closed it down for good.
Your local leadership maybe "cannot say" whether there will be more, but oh there definitely will. The writing is on the wall, in glowing neon. Good luck, and get your resume updated!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:15 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]
I was in the first round, and it came absolutely out of nowhere. If my supervisor hadn't quietly tipped me off beforehand I would have been just as blindsided as the other 11 or 12 people who got the axe. It was a small company so everybody knew each other personally; everyone was shocked and tearful. It was a bad time. Later I heard from a former coworker that the rounds continued every year until about 80% of the employees had gotten sacked (if they hadn't already left on their own), then the parent company closed it down for good.
Your local leadership maybe "cannot say" whether there will be more, but oh there definitely will. The writing is on the wall, in glowing neon. Good luck, and get your resume updated!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:15 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]
I am trying to free myself from an expectation that no longer applies. A few months ago I was in a position to like, really truly rent a lovely apartment for the first time ever. Now I am not. And I look at the apartments that are in my range now but my standards have been set by the search a few months ago, so I can't tell if I just hate them because they aren't the nice lovely apartment of my dreams, or because they're actual garbage. I gotta shake it off or this move is going to just be the fucking worst.
Guys I just want a regular-degular place to live with windows that keep the wind out and maybe one or two actual right angles where the walls meet the floors. It has eluded me for thirty goddamn years, and continues to do.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:36 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]
Guys I just want a regular-degular place to live with windows that keep the wind out and maybe one or two actual right angles where the walls meet the floors. It has eluded me for thirty goddamn years, and continues to do.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:36 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]
And the giant foot just came down. Today multiple layoffs hit my unit and there will be more tomorrow.
I've been there too, a few times, so you have my sympathies as well. I don't know what jurisdiction you're in, your terms of employment, or length of service, but do try to ascertain your rights, in case the worst happens. If you do get laid off, sometimes the difference between a lame severance and a decent severance is knowing what is legally owed, and that the employer knows that you know.
Best wishes.
posted by Artful Codger at 11:49 AM on April 16
I've been there too, a few times, so you have my sympathies as well. I don't know what jurisdiction you're in, your terms of employment, or length of service, but do try to ascertain your rights, in case the worst happens. If you do get laid off, sometimes the difference between a lame severance and a decent severance is knowing what is legally owed, and that the employer knows that you know.
Best wishes.
posted by Artful Codger at 11:49 AM on April 16
And I look at the apartments that are in my range now but my standards have been set by the search a few months ago, so I can't tell if I just hate them because they aren't the nice lovely apartment of my dreams, or because they're actual garbage
Hah, I kinda feel similarly about jobs. It's hard to accept what you CAN get when you had the brief hope of better, for sure (she says, having lost out on her favorite interviewed-for job and probably lost out on #2 as well).
Oh, I got rejected for yesterday's job this morning, so I did know :P
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:18 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]
Hah, I kinda feel similarly about jobs. It's hard to accept what you CAN get when you had the brief hope of better, for sure (she says, having lost out on her favorite interviewed-for job and probably lost out on #2 as well).
Oh, I got rejected for yesterday's job this morning, so I did know :P
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:18 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]
I'm in the week leading up to a Spring fundraiser for our small arts nonprofit and I wrote up a huge rant about the stressors our Executive Director has been throwing our way last minute (my coworkers and I have already had enough unofficial group therapy sessions as we "fix" whatever the ED's thrown at us each day so my coworkers don't need to hear me whining even more) but then deleted it because I just needed to vent, and not give the frustration space to grow.
But as I was typing (and deleting) my rant, the ED decided to share a folder that contains potential relevant info about past similar fundraisers because "it might be useful to everyone." They shared this folder literally days before the already planned event will happen. That folder could have been helpful months ago when we first started planning, especially because none of us were part of the planning process in previous years. But... now????????? *wildly waves hands in baffled disbelief*
posted by paisley sheep at 1:26 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]
But as I was typing (and deleting) my rant, the ED decided to share a folder that contains potential relevant info about past similar fundraisers because "it might be useful to everyone." They shared this folder literally days before the already planned event will happen. That folder could have been helpful months ago when we first started planning, especially because none of us were part of the planning process in previous years. But... now????????? *wildly waves hands in baffled disbelief*
posted by paisley sheep at 1:26 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]
It's hard to accept what you CAN get when you had the brief hope of better,
This, as well as the expectations that I grew up with as an Elder Millennial/young X, are basically the issue. I know what the world is, I swear. I know there's no such thing as a "middle class" for my generation and beyond. I know that there's no housing and never will be, etc. etc. Most of me is accepting of reality, grateful for what I do have, and glad to be doing well enough that I can at least live within my means, with/near the people I love. Wherever we end up will be home, and it will be fine.
But part of my brain is still like, "I did everything fucking right, from the age of 11 until menopause. I went to the good school and I never didn't work and I pay all my bills and I have fabulous credit and a good salary and I am clean and handy and helpful and sacrificing and responsible and I'm not trying to live in SF or NYC because I'm realistic and I should be able to fucking live somewhere where the windows close all the way and there's a washer/dryer."
That part of my brain is a big ol baby but it's there, and demands to be acknowledged lol.
I hope your job situation sorts out in a way that is bearable, if not fabulous. Like apartments, sometimes jobs do not reveal their whole selves in the initial getting, and can become beloved despite their flaws.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 2:48 PM on April 16 [8 favorites]
This, as well as the expectations that I grew up with as an Elder Millennial/young X, are basically the issue. I know what the world is, I swear. I know there's no such thing as a "middle class" for my generation and beyond. I know that there's no housing and never will be, etc. etc. Most of me is accepting of reality, grateful for what I do have, and glad to be doing well enough that I can at least live within my means, with/near the people I love. Wherever we end up will be home, and it will be fine.
But part of my brain is still like, "I did everything fucking right, from the age of 11 until menopause. I went to the good school and I never didn't work and I pay all my bills and I have fabulous credit and a good salary and I am clean and handy and helpful and sacrificing and responsible and I'm not trying to live in SF or NYC because I'm realistic and I should be able to fucking live somewhere where the windows close all the way and there's a washer/dryer."
That part of my brain is a big ol baby but it's there, and demands to be acknowledged lol.
I hope your job situation sorts out in a way that is bearable, if not fabulous. Like apartments, sometimes jobs do not reveal their whole selves in the initial getting, and can become beloved despite their flaws.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 2:48 PM on April 16 [8 favorites]
I hope your job situation sorts out in a way that is bearable, if not fabulous. Like apartments, sometimes jobs do not reveal their whole selves in the initial getting, and can become beloved despite their flaws.
I guess it's time to come out with this one: I got a tentative job offer (confirmed today) for a job with very low pay and an undesirable location. As in, my therapist had to reassure me that working there should be safe. This was from my previous worst interview ever, and I had the interview in February, and then apparently they were too short-staffed to get around to processing it. I have the impression they were pretty desperate to get someone at that point and I may not have been the top candidate there originally, to say the least.
I'm pretty freaked out. I need to take it, under the circumstances, but I'm still like, that job?!?! I'll also be losing my therapist with the insurance change, which makes me sad. But I need to get employed elsewhere before the hiring freezes happen, and if this is the one option, it's the one option, and also the only job offer I've gotten in 22 years. I truly hope it's not awful and I'm at least treated well, unlike my current position. I've tried SO HARD to stay at my employer (the overall employer if not my shitty office), but that's just not going to happen. If this is how I get into another giant organization's employ, then that's how it goes. I hope I can get a better offer later, but who knows. Others have told me about getting better offers a week to a few months later, so we'll see. A few people have said it's fine to work there, so I hope...
Wish me luck. Theoretically they're shooting for a May 1 start date, but it depends on the background check and all that before it becomes a solid offer. I'm not quitting officially until that happens.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:09 PM on April 16 [6 favorites]
I guess it's time to come out with this one: I got a tentative job offer (confirmed today) for a job with very low pay and an undesirable location. As in, my therapist had to reassure me that working there should be safe. This was from my previous worst interview ever, and I had the interview in February, and then apparently they were too short-staffed to get around to processing it. I have the impression they were pretty desperate to get someone at that point and I may not have been the top candidate there originally, to say the least.
I'm pretty freaked out. I need to take it, under the circumstances, but I'm still like, that job?!?! I'll also be losing my therapist with the insurance change, which makes me sad. But I need to get employed elsewhere before the hiring freezes happen, and if this is the one option, it's the one option, and also the only job offer I've gotten in 22 years. I truly hope it's not awful and I'm at least treated well, unlike my current position. I've tried SO HARD to stay at my employer (the overall employer if not my shitty office), but that's just not going to happen. If this is how I get into another giant organization's employ, then that's how it goes. I hope I can get a better offer later, but who knows. Others have told me about getting better offers a week to a few months later, so we'll see. A few people have said it's fine to work there, so I hope...
Wish me luck. Theoretically they're shooting for a May 1 start date, but it depends on the background check and all that before it becomes a solid offer. I'm not quitting officially until that happens.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:09 PM on April 16 [6 favorites]
Had a 1st round phone interview at lunch. I needed it. I gotta get out of this nut house.
posted by kathrynm at 11:42 AM on April 17 [2 favorites]
posted by kathrynm at 11:42 AM on April 17 [2 favorites]
A few years ago I happily reported that I was no longer being stabbed, and then things got stabby again, and earlier this year I had another surgery and I thought I was now stab-free, but... alas.
I really needed to stop being in pain all the time, because the money's all gone and I need to get a job, but any job I could actually do wouldn't be enough to qualify for health insurance that wouldn't bankrupt me. Or I need to figure out how to get on disability or something in a system that's specifically designed to be as forbidding as possible to new applicants.
Human bodies suck. Late stage capitalism sucks. For-profit healthcare sucks. Dystopian social support systems suck.
Argh.
posted by MrVisible at 12:17 PM on April 17 [2 favorites]
I really needed to stop being in pain all the time, because the money's all gone and I need to get a job, but any job I could actually do wouldn't be enough to qualify for health insurance that wouldn't bankrupt me. Or I need to figure out how to get on disability or something in a system that's specifically designed to be as forbidding as possible to new applicants.
Human bodies suck. Late stage capitalism sucks. For-profit healthcare sucks. Dystopian social support systems suck.
Argh.
posted by MrVisible at 12:17 PM on April 17 [2 favorites]
I'm in the middle of some kind of weird transitional point for myself, health-wise. I've spent so many years being so miserable that I'm not fully trusting when I'm feeling better. But I am feeling better. Not continually, not even for a day at a time, but for hours at a time when before I could even expect an hour of respite.
I have a bit of optimistic hope about the state of my life and my future for the first time in as long as I can remember, and again I don't quite trust it but it's a good feeling.
My words seem cryptic when I read them back, but I don't know how to express myself any better about this without using 10,000 words.
posted by hippybear at 7:16 PM on April 17 [3 favorites]
I have a bit of optimistic hope about the state of my life and my future for the first time in as long as I can remember, and again I don't quite trust it but it's a good feeling.
My words seem cryptic when I read them back, but I don't know how to express myself any better about this without using 10,000 words.
posted by hippybear at 7:16 PM on April 17 [3 favorites]
I have a new Pro Tip to share! I recently bought a used/like-new Le Creuset enameled Dutch oven on Ebay, and used it for the first time the other night making chicken cacciatore. As it happens I managed to get distracted and ended up with some burned sauce on the bottom. So, half-tip, don't do that!
But if you do do that - and how many enameled Dutch ovens have you seen with discolored bottoms? - Bar Keeper's Friend Soft Cleanser does a fantastic job of removing any stuck-on bits without scratching the enamel.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:02 PM on April 17 [2 favorites]
But if you do do that - and how many enameled Dutch ovens have you seen with discolored bottoms? - Bar Keeper's Friend Soft Cleanser does a fantastic job of removing any stuck-on bits without scratching the enamel.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:02 PM on April 17 [2 favorites]
Day 1 of The Magnetic Fields at Thalia Hall in the books. An excellent show. Our tickets allowed us to snag front row. Day 2 this evening and I intend to come home with a tea towel.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:47 AM on April 18 [1 favorite]
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:47 AM on April 18 [1 favorite]
Oh, if you get in the front row again, try to get a set list if that's of interest. Just hang out a couple of minutes after the show ends and the crew starts breaking down the stage. My spouse has gotten set lists from Adam Ant and Belle and Sebastian this way. The more people in the band, the more lists there are!
posted by mollweide at 6:49 AM on April 18 [1 favorite]
posted by mollweide at 6:49 AM on April 18 [1 favorite]
I know I'm growing as a person because in the thread about the failure of Effective Altruism, I suggested taxing the super rich out of existence instead of killing and eating them.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:40 PM on April 18 [3 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:40 PM on April 18 [3 favorites]
OMG! macOS asks me to update my OS and then something is going wrong with Safari and it won't open properly, to the point where I've gotten out the backup laptop and am starting to search for what is going wrong, and then mysteriously some hour and a half after I started searching how to solve this problem, with multiple reboots and other frustrations going on... it all just decides to work like normal. No explanations, no way to understand what was going wrong, it just... fixed itself.
I hate this. I'd rather have percussive maintenance be a thing.
posted by hippybear at 6:38 PM on April 18 [1 favorite]
I hate this. I'd rather have percussive maintenance be a thing.
posted by hippybear at 6:38 PM on April 18 [1 favorite]
I'd rather have percussive maintenance be a thing.
It can be, if you're brave enough!
(and don't care overmuch about the outcome)
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:15 PM on April 18
It can be, if you're brave enough!
(and don't care overmuch about the outcome)
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:15 PM on April 18
Day 2 of The Magnetic Fields in the books. We were further back this time, so no chance to beg for a set list. Although I suspect that even if I had been close enough to ask, I would have been directed to the merch table, as they played 69 Love Songs, in order, over the two nights. It felt kind of decadent flying to Chicago to see a band play, but I’m also visiting a very good friend.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:24 AM on April 19 [2 favorites]
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:24 AM on April 19 [2 favorites]
It felt kind of decadent flying to Chicago to see a band play
I live in a bit of a hinterlands and bands I love rarely come here, so I've gone on several dozens of flights to see bands across the decade. It's fun to talk to people at the show when I'm a fly-in because it's usually locals and they're so SHOCKED that anyone would travel for a show.
posted by hippybear at 11:29 AM on April 19 [1 favorite]
I live in a bit of a hinterlands and bands I love rarely come here, so I've gone on several dozens of flights to see bands across the decade. It's fun to talk to people at the show when I'm a fly-in because it's usually locals and they're so SHOCKED that anyone would travel for a show.
posted by hippybear at 11:29 AM on April 19 [1 favorite]
Oh Oh Oh!
Dracula Daily is starting in two weeks. It's an epistolatory novel composed of diary entries and letters and other things that all involve a date. Dracula Daily will delivery into your inbox that day's content from the story of Dracula. The journey lasts a few months.
If you want to sign up for it, you can go here.
It's a fun thing I signed up for a couple of years ago and have kept going. You might enjoy it, too.
posted by hippybear at 2:26 PM on April 19 [1 favorite]
Dracula Daily is starting in two weeks. It's an epistolatory novel composed of diary entries and letters and other things that all involve a date. Dracula Daily will delivery into your inbox that day's content from the story of Dracula. The journey lasts a few months.
If you want to sign up for it, you can go here.
It's a fun thing I signed up for a couple of years ago and have kept going. You might enjoy it, too.
posted by hippybear at 2:26 PM on April 19 [1 favorite]
More live music on Friday! Joe Pug (who I have never heard of and whyDidItTakeMeSoLongToLearnAboutHim) was recording a live show at Old Town School of Folk Music and my friend scored last-minute tickets. Loved it. He purchased a case of Malort and was offering shots to patrons. Having sampled that delight during the pandemic, I laughed SO HARD when the volunteer told us. My friend is an Chicago-area native and has never tried it. As Malort is a combination of bitter grapefruit rind and eau d’Dirty socks, I talked her out of it.
Today was the early afternoon Cubs game (they are playing a split double header to make up a game that was postponed earlier this week). Cubs lost, but love visiting Wrigley. I’ve had so much fun with my friend, wandering about and hearing lots of music. Good trip, 10/10. Chicago never disappoints, I ran out of time to do a couple of other things. Home tomorrow and I owe spouse and kiddo baked goods of their choice as I am unable to bring back cinnamon rolls as big as their heads.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:24 PM on April 20 [1 favorite]
Today was the early afternoon Cubs game (they are playing a split double header to make up a game that was postponed earlier this week). Cubs lost, but love visiting Wrigley. I’ve had so much fun with my friend, wandering about and hearing lots of music. Good trip, 10/10. Chicago never disappoints, I ran out of time to do a couple of other things. Home tomorrow and I owe spouse and kiddo baked goods of their choice as I am unable to bring back cinnamon rolls as big as their heads.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:24 PM on April 20 [1 favorite]
mr hippybear just came upstairs with a bit of a sourdough baguette he made and it has a crumb that is so lovely that Paul Hollywood would just give him a trophy immediately.
posted by hippybear at 7:24 PM on April 21 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 7:24 PM on April 21 [1 favorite]
I don't know whether to comment on the tag-end of this post, or wait for someone to post a new one...
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:06 PM on April 22
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:06 PM on April 22
Random new weird cat behavior -- boy cat Rocky has suddenly taken to demanding having some tortilla chips or potato chips. He's lived with us for nearly 20 years but he's just now in the past few months started demanding this. He's never demanded human snacks before at all.
I mean, you go little old man. Never stop discovering new things you enjoy!
posted by hippybear at 2:36 PM on April 22 [1 favorite]
I mean, you go little old man. Never stop discovering new things you enjoy!
posted by hippybear at 2:36 PM on April 22 [1 favorite]
I once had a cat that loved raw egg; no other cats I've had cared that much for them. Any time I cracked an egg, she'd hear it no matter where she was in the house and come sit quietly next to where I was standing, silently awaiting her Rightful Tithe.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:12 PM on April 22
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:12 PM on April 22
I've had cats who have enjoyed raw egg, yogurt, grated cheddar cheese, cooked bacon, raw broccoli, and many who have enjoyed chips or crackers of various sorts. But I've never had one who just decided at the age of 18 or however old that suddenly THIS is a major interest of theirs.
posted by hippybear at 3:18 PM on April 22
posted by hippybear at 3:18 PM on April 22
Our cat Theodore loved prosciutto and would go absolutely nuts when we had it in the house.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:43 PM on April 22
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:43 PM on April 22
« Older Sort of an Everyman | crankin' out tunes Newer »
Galactic inertia dominates the rest.
posted by chronkite at 5:39 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]