February 18, 2003 10:41 AM   Subscribe

There are those who play Ping-pong and those who live Ping-Pong. As for me, it was the first game I was ever able to beat my Pops at. But no matter how good you think you are, there is always someone ready to wax your ass. Printer-friendly version just for you y2karl!
posted by vito90 (13 comments total)
For a fun trick, try this:

1) Look asian. Helps if you're born that way.

2) Purchase as much Chinese Ping Pong equipment possible. I recommend "Double happiness" rubbers on a Chinese Pen-Hold handle. If you're saucy, get the shoes.

3) Walk into your local YMCA Ping Pong tourney wearing tight Larry Byrd-era basketball shorts and a headband.

4) Practice by yourself (without a ball), by shadowboxing using crazy rolling manuevers and screaming at random inopportune times.

5) Challenge anyone to fight for honor.

I've done this several times for the hilarity of it all.
posted by Stan Chin at 10:50 AM on February 18, 2003

s'funny - I just discovered Mao Tse Ping Pong!
posted by gravelshoes at 10:50 AM on February 18, 2003

I'm not all that familiar with the rules of Ping Pong, but if having ones ass waxed is the penalty for losing, then I'm staying the hell away from this game! My ass has a low pain tolerance threshold.
posted by jonson at 10:52 AM on February 18, 2003

thanks for the great link. i was a star at ping-pong when i was in my teens. brings back some great memories.

it also reminds me of this old Onion article.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:52 AM on February 18, 2003

My wife's father has an Olympic medal in table tennis, and, I think, a gold from the Pan-Asian games.

When I was a kid, my friends and I used to set up all the houses and props from our electric train villages in interesting patterns on the ping pong table and play. The point was not to hit the buildings. We called it "tableau tennis."
posted by luriete at 11:09 AM on February 18, 2003

But no matter how good you think you are, there is always someone ready to wax your ass.

I think that's generally a good thing to keep in mind.
posted by Hjorth at 11:18 AM on February 18, 2003

The most accurate table tennis video game I've played is actually flash. It's on Shockplay, unfortunatly they've gone subscription based, but you can still play the demo.

As for the sport, I got picked on about playing "ping pong" for years. :) The coach of the Swedish national team moved to my hometown in Oklahoma and set up a training center for god knows what reason... I ended up playing there for about 4 years, actually played doubles with the top ranked woman in the world at one tournament. It's a really neat sport, the age gap for experts is just ridiculous. You can be 17 or 40 and be the best in the world.

But what Stan Chin said is so violently true, it hurts. I have no idea where those shorts are sold anymore, but table tennis people must have a corner on the market.

And yeah, I had the shoes.
posted by qDot at 11:33 AM on February 18, 2003

I really think after the Courtney Love thread, we should call a moratorium on ass-waxing.

Another tip: go watch ping-pong movies, when you absolutely must leave the table.
posted by jessamyn at 11:49 AM on February 18, 2003

kubreck's lolita has a great ping pong scene.
posted by alfredogarcia at 12:19 PM on February 18, 2003

My last full time job had a Ping-Pong table and an international workforce to play with. I started out as an incredibly clumsy neophyte, had some great coaches (one Vietnamese, age 22, one Irish-American, age 50), and took to playing doubles with three very skilled and cool Chinese nationals. When I switched to pen holder style my game improved dramatically. I knew I had gotten pretty good when I managed to best Z., one of the deadlier Chinese players. A few months after being laid off, in a final show of respect and friendship, I recieved in the mail a Double Happiness paddle for my birthday from H. *sniff*, sorry, something in my eye. God, was that a great place to work.
posted by Scoo at 2:25 PM on February 18, 2003

Ping Pong, based on a manga series, saw a theatrical release in Japan last year.

You can read a review at KFCCinema and then rush to buy the r2 dvd. I know I will. ;D
posted by modularette at 2:58 PM on February 18, 2003

i used to play insouciantly in college :) one of the coolest things i've seen in recent memory btw was a table-tennis tournament in chicago's union station. it was late at night, they'd moved all the benches out of the way for a couple rows of ping pong tables spanning the length of the terminal councourse, and except for the ubiquitous pok, pok, pokking it kinda felt like a city library, or maybe even a cathedral! anyway i just sat on a bench off to the side of this cavernous hall and watched some really good players go at it for a couple hours before i had to catch my train to skokie.
posted by kliuless at 8:59 PM on February 18, 2003

Great stories. My mom is Japanese and she taught me the Oriental style of paddle grip. Whenever we would have a birthday party at a friend's with a table the kids would mock the way I held the paddle. Mock me, until I waxed their collective asses that is.
posted by vito90 at 6:14 AM on February 19, 2003

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