A Modern Day Freak Show
April 8, 2003 3:29 PM   Subscribe

Believe It or Not! Anomalies Unlimited. See the Lord's Prayer Carved on the Head of a Pin! Marvel at the World's Longest Ear Hair! Indulge in the Deep Dark Secrets of The Wonderful World of Disney! Yes! Step right up. No need to push... there's something for everyone under the Big Top...
posted by crunchland (17 comments total)
that Disney section guy is really hellbent for leather.

[to] the Nice Lawyer who sent me letters threatening to "pursue legal action" if I continue to leave this page up and the Mickey background tile that he/they/them can kiss my lilly white ass.... I basically own a 12 year old car, a 300 MHZ computer and a semi-respectable collection of Plasticware from The Boston Market. Suing me for *what* would be the question....
posted by jessamyn at 3:54 PM on April 8, 2003

If it's true that Disney staged the lemmings' suicide - i.e. drowned them - I'll never watch a Disney film again.

Great jumpin' Jeosaphat, that's one hell of a website you've brought us, crunchie!

N.B. Certain parts may not be sfw - Jessica Rabbit's beaver just about passing muster.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 3:59 PM on April 8, 2003

psst, miguel ... snopes says it's true.
posted by crunchland at 4:12 PM on April 8, 2003

damnable frames...
posted by crunchland at 4:14 PM on April 8, 2003

See the Lord's Prayer Carved on the Head of a Pin!

There are some related oddities at Reality Carnival.
posted by homunculus at 4:15 PM on April 8, 2003

Show me angels dancing on the head of that pin, and we'll talk.
posted by padraigin at 4:27 PM on April 8, 2003

Damn! I liked Disney movies... Well, no more from now on. That and my promise to foldy, in exchange for a good word, to have tofu with my martinis instead of steak or sashimi, for the next thirty years or until I die - whichever comes first - has really limited my future pleasures, dagnabbit.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 4:47 PM on April 8, 2003

MiguelCardoso, think outside of the box man. Veggie-burgers are available in the freezer section of nearly every grocery store. I think it's time to introduce Meat-fu to the American populace.
posted by substrate at 6:24 PM on April 8, 2003

Schiller had spent the last 25 years of his life creating the pins, using a tool too small to be seen by the naked eye. It is estimated that it took 1,863 separate carving strokes to make it. Schiller went blind because of his artwork.

Two questions: 1) If you buy such a tool, since you can't see it how do you know it was delivered?
2) Can exacting visual work really make you go blind?
posted by found missing at 6:43 PM on April 8, 2003

crunchland: perfect FPP. Thanks.
posted by davidmsc at 7:07 PM on April 8, 2003

Wow, that Disney stuff is Great! I wonder how other amusement park chains, such as Six Flags, compare.
posted by schlaager at 7:39 PM on April 8, 2003

In the Disney 101 section he keeps saying "Disneyland" and then describing "Walt Disney World". If Disneyland is being run by a shadow government in central Florida, that's a damn amazing feat given that it is 3,000 miles away in southern California.

If the guy can't even get basic obvious facts straight, why should I bother to read anything else he says?
posted by Lokheed at 7:56 PM on April 8, 2003

"I think it's time to introduce Meat-fu to the American populace."

Here's how well that would go over with me:

[Person] "Mr_crash_davis, meet meat-fu. We've prepared it for you instead of your usual London Broil. It's fake meat."

[Me] "..."

[Meat-fu] (whispering) "He doesn't look happy."

(Sudden chaos, camera drops to floor, sound of garbage disposal grinding amid horrifying screams)

[Me] "Nope."

posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:44 PM on April 8, 2003

Crash, you misunderstand, meat-fu is a tofu substitute made from meat. It's not fake meat, it's fake tofu. Last night I had a nice buffalo new york strip for my meat-fu.
posted by substrate at 5:09 AM on April 9, 2003

Are you sure? I always thought meat-fu was a martial art involving cold cuts.
posted by monkeyman at 5:24 AM on April 9, 2003

The bit on the Denver Airport is interesting, if a bit paranoid:

An African woman in colorful native garb; a Native American woman who's heritage the airport's art supposedly celebrates; a blonde girl with cupid bow lips, a Star of David on her chest and a bible in her hands. Each lay dead in open coffins for your viewing pleasure. A burning city, children sleeping on piles of bricks, a line of mourning women in rags with dead babies, limp in their arms. A huge, looming military figure in a gas mask brandishes a sword and machine gun. Part of an actual note written by a child interred in a Nazi death camp. Strange words embedded in the floor with no explanation about what they mean. Welcome to Denver International Airport!

Too bad his link to "That Weird-ass Mural" doesn't work. Sounds very Diego Garcia-ish. Anyone seen the thing up close, or have a link to it?
posted by gottabefunky at 7:26 AM on April 9, 2003

Ah, substrate, your clever twist caught me in its fiendish clutches. This is what happens when one posts late at night while one is wacky on the juice.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:46 PM on April 9, 2003

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