And a little shrimp shall lead the way....
March 3, 2004 7:01 AM   Subscribe

New validation of desktop fusion claims - far from hating the small crustaceans, God has a plan for shrimp : to point scientists towards the secret - tiny bubbles! God also has a pan for shrimp, and some cajun blackening spices too...
posted by troutfishing (32 comments total)
Fusion. Shrimp. Does this mean I'm an XD38er?...
posted by troutfishing at 7:02 AM on March 3, 2004

I'm eating shrimp right now, actually. For breakfast. Chinese vegetable stir fry with shrimp, reheated from last night's dinner. Mmmm....good!

Shrimp. Part of God's plan. Educational and delicious too!
posted by troutfishing at 7:11 AM on March 3, 2004

The snapping shrimp looks like a crawfish?!?. Will an expert help me here, please.
posted by thomcatspike at 7:41 AM on March 3, 2004

thomcatspike - I'm sure they're related, but the snapping shrimp are much smaller, I'd say. If crawfish could do that cavitation trick, they'd be able to stun some fairly big creatures with their imploding bubbles. You'd be able to see the light flashes of their cavitation bubbles in the water, like flashbulbs going off.

It's a good thing lobsters don't cavitate, or they'd be stunning and eating us.
posted by troutfishing at 7:56 AM on March 3, 2004

I don't think I want to eat anything that can create fusion from it's butt.
posted by JeffK at 7:57 AM on March 3, 2004

JeffK - No no! - not the butt, the claw.
The claw, the claw......
posted by troutfishing at 8:02 AM on March 3, 2004

like flashbulbs going off.
Under water light show, seeing that would be neat .
posted by thomcatspike at 8:19 AM on March 3, 2004

Don't you see, people? The bible says it is wrong to eat Shrimp! Now I don't know about you, but I could never understand your sick perverted needs to satisfy your flesh with the sweet, juicy, tender..... flesh of the ILL GOTTEN AND SODOMITIC SHRIMP. When you die (As im sure directly related to your shrimp eating lust) we will picket your graves. The first person who chokes to death on a shrimp will be proof that God hates Shrimp, and anyone to does not follow his word and will exactly.
posted by Keyser Soze at 9:03 AM on March 3, 2004

posted by Keyser Soze at 9:03 AM on March 3, 2004

What's the jingle for the months you can eat crustaceans ?
posted by thomcatspike at 9:40 AM on March 3, 2004

We'll probably feel pretty stupid burning all that oil when it turns out little bubbles are a source of free energy.
posted by thijsk at 9:58 AM on March 3, 2004

I propose that this branch of physics be renamed in order to remove any possible confusion with the Pons-Fleischman 'cold fusion' debacle.

Henceforce, it should be called "Don Ho fusion". Due to the Tiny Bubbles, of course ...
posted by Jos Bleau at 10:08 AM on March 3, 2004

What's the jingle for the months you can eat crustaceans ?

"Any month you don't mind goin' to hell,
It's OK to crack that shell;
Snacking on a 10-limbed arthropod:
An abomination unto..."
posted by kurumi at 10:26 AM on March 3, 2004

Let's keep the shrimp out of terrorists' hands, okay?
posted by Dukebloo at 10:39 AM on March 3, 2004

Those shrimp haters conveniently leave out the part of Leviticus that tells you it's cool to eat insects.
posted by scarabic at 10:49 AM on March 3, 2004

Those shrimp haters conveniently leave out the part of Leviticus that tells you it's cool to eat insects.

Huh? Those shrimp haters also conveniently leave out the part of Leviticus that tells you it's cool to have slaves, as long as they are heathen slaves. But I fail to see why that is relevant to shrimp.
posted by rajbot at 10:58 AM on March 3, 2004

Physics good.

Shrimp bad.

(Violently allergic, as in anaphylatic shock allergic.)

Could go noshing on some enslaved heathen insects though...
posted by Samizdata at 11:30 AM on March 3, 2004

Keyser Soze: I know you already know this and you just like to be difficult, but what you are talking about only applies to Jews anyway, and my guess is that you are trying to make fun of Christians and not be an anti-semite. So if you want to find something that you find old fashioned to make fun of Christians for at least use an appropriate verse. I'm a Christian, I eat shrimp all the time, and I'm not sinning.
posted by BackwardsHatClub at 11:41 AM on March 3, 2004

BackwardsHatClub is taking sardonicism to entirely new heights!
posted by billsaysthis at 11:51 AM on March 3, 2004

Hey backwardshatclub, its cool. Just an easy target, thats all. By the way, I wasn't being difficult. Proving that Jesus ever existed is.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:43 PM on March 3, 2004

Just to show im not a complete asshole, I aplogise for my snarkiness. As a Christian who obviously knows more about the verse than me, is Rajbot right when he said that Leviticus says its allright to keep slaves?
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:49 PM on March 3, 2004

Keyser Soze: Hey I also wasn't trying to be difficult, proving that Jesus didn't exist is however. Turn about is fair play right? =)

Anyway, there are several places in the Bible that talk about owning slaves, in the new and the old testement.

Here is Ephesians 6:9 "And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him."

Although I don't think any Christians of the present day are using this as justification to enslave people (at least I hope not) slavery was quite common back then. IIRC, most slavery at the time was debtor's slavery, usually if you could not pay off a large debt you became that person's slave for 7 years. That's not to say that there wasn't other types of slavery, when the Israelites conquered other people they took some of them as slaves (once again, this is off the top of my head but I'm confident that I remember correctly) and the Jewish people were made slaves themselves at least twice that I can remember, when they were in Egypt and when they were conquered by the Babylonians (and maybe when the Assyrians conquered them as well).

However slavery was not like the plantation slavery here in America. Slaves were more like servants and less like slaves that we think of today.

If you want to make fun of Christians for adhereing to a book that gives guidelines for what was everyday-common at the time it was written, go ahead, but I think that if you are honest with yourself you will admit that it was culturally acceptable at the time (those who were conquered and taken as slaves had their own slaves, and vice-verse) and that as it became unnacceptable Christianity adapted with that.
posted by BackwardsHatClub at 1:47 PM on March 3, 2004

Hmmm. Debtor's slavery. You know, those Biblical verses on slavery might just be applicable again in a decade or two.

Meanwhile, what about fusion and shrimp?
posted by troutfishing at 1:53 PM on March 3, 2004

Hey Troutfishing, perhaps you are forgetting BackwardsHatitticus 18:12 'And the Lord says unto ye, "Go forth and harvest thy shrimp and they shall be like lightning in your hand, lighting your path, and power shall flow forth from you and your shrimp".'

I think it's clear that the Bible predicted this breakthrough more than 2000 years ago!
posted by BackwardsHatClub at 2:18 PM on March 3, 2004

haha, wow, Bible humour... it's not easy.
posted by BackwardsHatClub at 2:20 PM on March 3, 2004

For the complete skinny on Leviticus, check out the Skeptic's Annotated Bible.

All talk of sin aside, these creatures obviously possess some kind of nuclear capability. What's our government doing to contain this possible new terrorist threat? I mean, honestly, we don't want to wait for a mushroom cloud to do something about these nuclear terrorist shrimp. They may be in cahoots the Stalinist crab army!
posted by RylandDotNet at 2:34 PM on March 3, 2004

Slavery is obviously sanctified, at least for Jews, so we should be able to own all you goys.
posted by billsaysthis at 5:05 PM on March 3, 2004

Well then - you'd best get cracking!

I'll sell myself to my wife - she's a cohain and all......

But - if I'm her slave, can she eat shrimp?
posted by troutfishing at 8:20 PM on March 3, 2004

Backwardshatclub, I agree that cultures have changed tremendously, and you are correct that it is easy to make fun of something that we cannot really understand, not having experienced it firsthand.

The reason I played a joke about shrimp is to show how easy it is for someone to take millenia old text out of context; The same way that believers such as the Westboro Baptist Church 'prove' their convictions through scripture. Honestly, religion is not bad in any way, just as believing in a form of science is. They are simply beliefs. Just because it is easier to prove scientific logic does not make it go against religious beliefs, and vice versa. When you say that the text is confirming a society that thrived many years before ours, wouldn't it make sense to simply believe in God and look onto the Bible (or any other text, speech, etc.) as simply a collection of words, because they are mirroring a group of humans standpoint in a static frame of time? Does it strike you as somewhat counterproductive when people who use the words of the Bible show you in words and actions that they don't want to listen to the opposing arguments? For lack of a better term, that said logic is idealising ostriches sticking their heads in the sand.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:03 AM on March 4, 2004

"The reason I played a joke about shrimp" - Oh yeah, right. Everybody picks on shrimp because they're wee. Even God does. Bullies.

They may be small but - what with the cavitation trick and all - they're pound-for-pound mighty fierce. Don't fuck with shrimp, or they might just gang up and cavitate-pop you into submission.
posted by troutfishing at 5:42 AM on March 4, 2004

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