The Most Eligible Ladies Hangout
April 12, 2004 6:15 PM   Subscribe

Sure, we've all seen bad web design, but sometimes one finds a site that's really worth a second look, and this is certainly one. It's not so much bad web design as a veritable county fair of bad web design, complete with a ring-toss (try to click that link!), a booth extolling the modern wonder of air conditioning, another exhibit about the wonderful world of the future, and, of course, misguided hero worship. But wait, there's more, including a visit from famous basketballer Michel Jordan. Really, one could spend hours and hours exploring the many nooks and crannies of The Retreat's website, and still not find all of the many, many gems that it contains. Don't forget to ask about the monogamous weddings!
posted by hoboynow (21 comments total)
I was directed to this site by a full-page ad in the Chicago Tribune that looked much like this and was at once mystified and much amused by the contents. I’m still not certain exactly what’s going down at The Retreat, and even clicking here doesn‘t seem to help much. Perhaps a mefi meetup is in order?
posted by hoboynow at 6:17 PM on April 12, 2004

Heh. Looks like Timecube guy opened a banquet facility.

Nice find, hoboynow - welcome!
posted by stonerose at 6:29 PM on April 12, 2004

"Royalty Prepared Gourmet AMERICAN CUISINE"

Is that like Burger King?
posted by cnx at 6:33 PM on April 12, 2004

I'm just curious about the monogamous wedding deal. Too bad as I was thinking of starting up a harem. Damn the luck!

Hmmm....I wonder if that's an antigay kind of deal...nah...couldn't be...
posted by damnitkage at 6:36 PM on April 12, 2004

If we allow monogamous weddings, what's next? Weddings between Protestants and other, slightly different Protestants?
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 6:47 PM on April 12, 2004

Those mile-long urls are (I suspect) a function of the pages being built in (ouch!) Netscape Composer.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:07 PM on April 12, 2004

Please tell me this is just a cruel, cruel joke.. Nobody is that bad.. WYSIWYG page builders do all the work for you nowadays and even output 100% standards compliant code...
posted by geeknik at 7:11 PM on April 12, 2004

What's the connection?:

posted by Mayor Curley at 7:13 PM on April 12, 2004

6 Professional Chessboards? I'm there!
posted by etc. at 7:21 PM on April 12, 2004

And you can't go wrong with $3 Margaritas. Actually, you probably can.
posted by i_cola at 7:35 PM on April 12, 2004

Wow. I mean, ow.
posted by FormlessOne at 8:26 PM on April 12, 2004

I think the connection is that Princess Di and the Pope both visited Chicago at some point in time, perhaps for their secret rendezvous at .... The Chicago West? The Retreat? I can't even figure out what the name of the place is.
posted by Juicylicious at 8:29 PM on April 12, 2004

You think that's bad?

Try this.

No, I will not explain how I found it.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:34 PM on April 12, 2004

Now I've got a serious afterimage thing going on. THANKS, CRASH!
posted by anathema at 9:05 PM on April 12, 2004

mr_crash_davis: Why do you hate America?
posted by MegoSteve at 9:08 PM on April 12, 2004

I will not explain how I found it.

found it? you were there!
posted by quonsar at 11:32 PM on April 12, 2004

Thanks crash,

I am again reminded of how much this Internet thingy truely used to suck. Remember the days when that kind of crazy design was the norm?

posted by Quartermass at 11:34 PM on April 12, 2004

Funnest quonsar one-liner EVER!
posted by Quartermass at 11:35 PM on April 12, 2004

Pope and Di connection: the owner owns cars that once transported their earthly vessels. I think they're on display. If I'm reading things correctly, the place grew out of his car collection. Thus, the romantic Chitty Chitty Bang Bang lounge. After a little chitty chitty, it's on to bang bang, and then a monogamous marriage, if it all works out.
posted by bendybendy at 3:35 AM on April 13, 2004

habitual bad-page-source-viewer here. that horrible garbled mess brought to you courtesy of "VCOM Technology V4.0". from the fine web professionals at their web design package is so amazing and powerful that their own site is designed using GoLive CyberStudio 3. gotta love a company that sells a web design program that they won't even use on their own site.

(anyone besides me think the web wasn't so bad back in the day when you actually had to know some code to build a site? all these authoring tools, in the wrong hands... dear god, what have we done?)
posted by caution live frogs at 10:06 AM on April 13, 2004

This is like the death valley of WTF quotes. To wit:
"...symbolizing Eleven as the highest single numeral rank to reflect one another with out change...",
"...humble people reflecting their self motivated & unobstructed personal goals & dreams."

Metafilter: a Classless Firstclass.
posted by of strange foe at 11:37 AM on April 13, 2004

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