Money and Sex: Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together!
June 19, 2004 12:30 PM   Subscribe

"Don't equate happiness with money"... "Exercise Regularly"... "Have Sex"...
Advice from a German investment bank on how to enjoy life. Taking CitiBank's cynical "Live Richly" ad campaign a step farther?
obilgatory joke "I remember when the bank only gave away free toasters..."
In other news, A bank in India is targeting "sex workers" as new customers,
Insert Sperm Bank Joke Here. heh heh heh... he said "Insert Sperm"...
posted by wendell (7 comments total)
I want my investment banker to think that money (especially my money), is the most important thing in the universe. I want him or her to eat money, sleep money, and prefer the welfare of money to that of his or her children. I want a completely two-dimensional investment banker, who has no life outside of the markets, who doesn't stop to smell the roses, exercise, or have sex. I have known just such an individual, and he made his clients a mountain of money over the years, and no one gave a hoot whether or not he meditated over the sunset. These campaigns are stupendously misguided -- just like BP's "anti-oil" ad campaign, and MacDonald's occasional spasm of "pro-nutrition" advertising. What's next? Is Pfizer going to do a campaign that says, "Really, most illnesses are just psychological or improve on their own. Just give them a little time and patience?" Is Toyota going to do one that says, "Why not take a little walk?"
posted by Faze at 12:45 PM on June 19, 2004

'Peace of mind has become the ultimate consumer good - which means that marketers and service providers must become healers.'
-- Melinda Davis

I gues they read her book
posted by svale at 2:21 PM on June 19, 2004

11. To avoid conflict with money !=happines golden rule and to quickly reach Nirvana, you can give elpapa all of your money now, as he's ready to take the burden of fallacious equations from you, now. Some thinks he's the $iddartha.
posted by elpapacito at 5:00 PM on June 19, 2004

You know, Faze, I rarely ever think in Slashdot terms on MeFi, but I would love to see your post modded to +5 Insightful.
posted by MonkeyMeat at 8:28 PM on June 19, 2004

These campaigns are stupendously misguided

I blame the bleeding-heart lefties who actually believe that corporations should have a similarly bleeding heart when doing business. Because these morons believe in "equality" and "treating people with respect" and "social welfare", they force corporations to launch these ridiculous ad campaigns that attempt to convince the public that they (the corporations) are somehow looking out for society's best interests.

You think I'm kidding, but marketing campaigns are just like television shows, showing us a make-believe world so that we ignore reality.

I like corporations. I find them extremely useful. But to believe that they should give a shit about consumers to the level that government should is bogus and the public should really be smarter than that. They aren't; but they should be.
posted by BlueTrain at 9:54 PM on June 19, 2004

I'm not sure why people think that this memo is spearheading DKW's brand-new worldwide "Care for Your Inner Child" marketing campaign, rather than being the equivalent of a light-hearted, feel-good email forward from the guy who wrote it (James Montier). He even says that he wrote it basically to remind his clients, and himself, that there's more to life than a crappy stock market. So there's an actual human being in that investment bank? Hard to believe for some people, I guess.

As to the "bleeding-heart leftie" notion that corporations, like any other institution, have a moral responsibility to the public at large: I recall that ExxonMobil provided money and equipment in the late 1990s and early 2000s to the Indonesian Army to act as quasi-private security guards for its operations in the province of Aceh, thus directly aiding and abetting rapists, torturers, and murderers. Can you imagine the public outcry if the AFL-CIO or the Catholic Church were giving bulldozers to the Indonesian Army so they could more easily dig mass graves to hide the bodies? Why should a corporation get a free pass on moral responsibility?

It's a corporation's major imperative to make money, sure. But it shouldn't be their only concern, and it's not ridiculous to expect more from some of our most powerful institutions than pure, unadulterated avarice. It may be silly to think that they do care about anything else. But not to think that they should. (See above re: actual human beings.)
posted by skoosh at 8:22 AM on June 20, 2004

If they are concerned for people's well-being, there are many non-profit organizations that would welcome a donatation. To so calculatingly use "warm" inspirational messages to sell, to me, is colder than cold. It is only one step better than "bank with us, or we'll run over these puppies with a steamroller".
posted by 4easypayments at 2:46 PM on June 20, 2004

« Older Junewhat?   |   The Super Power no one heard of Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments