"Neil Young is coming by tomorrow for dinner. Time to send out Manolo with a shopping list, as I will be doing the cooking."
October 15, 2004 12:48 PM   Subscribe

Nick Nolte's (baffling) blog.
Then I saw a middle-aged woman wearing a black t-shirt that had the word "Ferrari" printed on it. Maybe it was Ron's influence, but I found the woman mesmerizing and depressing but otherwise encouraging about the direction of human events. What a strange shirt, diary. Worn without irony or malice. Anyway, Manolo won't go clean out the bird cage, so later days. Nolte's blog is not as cute as Melanie Griffith's, though. (via laobserved)
posted by matteo (31 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Is this legit? It seems like it.

posted by xmutex at 12:54 PM on October 15, 2004

For the record, never use the word "dumpy" when
your date is in a bikini and getting ready to use the pool.

ha, AWESOME, thank you.

also for your consideration: maybe not as legitimate but still ...
posted by Peter H at 1:03 PM on October 15, 2004

What a strange shirt, indeed... and I'm not talkin' 'bout the black-T, either.
posted by stonerose at 1:05 PM on October 15, 2004

If it's for real, it rocks. If it isn't real, it still rocks. Thanks matteo!
posted by chrid at 1:06 PM on October 15, 2004

Monolo finally got around to pitching me his idea for a fitness show. It turns out it is actually a reality show and has nothing to do with fitness. The basic idea is to humiliate people and have cash prizes. He says the show should be called 'Punch My Mustache.' I wasn't really paying attention, he said it was translated. Who knows? I have heard stranger ideas.
posted by picea at 1:07 PM on October 15, 2004

Its curious and strange and probably not real but interesting nonetheless.

I looked at Melanie Griffith's page and I didn't see the Antonio Banderas Worship Chapel, what gives?

And where's the Olsen Twins Blog? And Natalie Portman's blog? And, and, and?

Ah nevermind, I suppose I should get some work done before skulking off for the weekend.
posted by fenriq at 1:19 PM on October 15, 2004

Who the hell is Manolo?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:22 PM on October 15, 2004

Seems really contrived but it's tough to stop reading anyway.

picea, I was going to quote that same entry, so I'll paste what came before your sentences because, ya know, some son of a bitch who can't wear socks with his sissy-loafers is just classic:


The worse thing about going to wine country is the yuppies. Constance and I were just trying to get out of the city and relax. This is hard to do when you are jockeying for a parking space with some son of a bitch who can't wear socks with his sissy-loafers. Plus he's trying to park his impossibly large truckvan into a compact spot. I miss the days when wine country meant just that, wine country.

He's right, I have trouble believing this one:

You're not going to belive this diary, but I just checked someone in to the hotel. It's cold tonight so when I saw a young couple behind the window crystal of the door I let them in without thinking. I don't think they recognized me. I joked that my bellhop hat was in the shop but I think they misunderstood me. I gave them one of the keys behind the desk and told them to settle up in the morning. I could see myself doing this for a living, diary.
posted by Shane at 1:23 PM on October 15, 2004

I don't care if it's real. That's rad.
posted by The God Complex at 1:23 PM on October 15, 2004

I got a call from Jimmy Brooks the other day. He was small-talking the whole time and said he didn't want to "turn the screws on me." I don't know what that means. And then Manolo left his saxaphone at school again. This is the third time in recent memory he has done this. I was sorting the mail and I told him he should switch to the harmonica, but he didn't hear me, he was making chocolate. I finally caught up with that show Sliders on DVD, it isn't that good but it makes you think. I ran out of room again. Good bye for now diary.

Wow. I think this is the literary equivalent of his mug shot.
posted by pardonyou? at 1:23 PM on October 15, 2004

And good fun on a day when I discovered that three debate losses for Bush equals a four point lead. I thought it would take a few weeks of dirty campaigning before it started to swing back to a close finish, but ya know...

Anyway, this link is really odd and scatter-brained. And, as I said, it's a lot of fun. Kudos.

posted by The God Complex at 1:28 PM on October 15, 2004

Def. not real, but well written and fun.
posted by cell divide at 1:32 PM on October 15, 2004

[this is really damned good]
posted by frykitty at 1:33 PM on October 15, 2004

Why definitely not real?
posted by xmutex at 1:49 PM on October 15, 2004

Older archives like the very first entry are from here, which the url probably points to, and is a page on Christian Newton's web site, also the owner of the domain name.
posted by modofo at 2:10 PM on October 15, 2004

Yes, I added it to my Bloglines feed, and noticed the entries were either by Casey or Christian.

Very well done, in any case.
posted by frykitty at 2:16 PM on October 15, 2004

Awww man I want it to be real.
posted by xmutex at 2:20 PM on October 15, 2004

Regardless of the authenticity, it's damn good. I wish more celebrity diaries were actually like this. Very entertaining.

This Fox news affiliate seems to think it's real enough.
posted by waxpancake at 2:24 PM on October 15, 2004

I especially enjoy picturing Nick Nolte thinking that he will run out of room typing into a text box.
posted by modofo at 2:29 PM on October 15, 2004

also via Defamer.
posted by Lizc at 2:41 PM on October 15, 2004

Ha! That Fox news link is awesome.

Not as awesome as some Korean newspaper falling for that classic Onion story concerning Congress threatening to leave DC if the capitol building was not fitted with a retractable roof, but awesome anyway.
posted by xmutex at 3:06 PM on October 15, 2004

"I especially enjoy picturing Nick Nolte thinking that he will run out of room typing into a text box." - I may have done that once or twice. What would it take ? A hundred pages ? Three hundred ?

Anyway - a charming blog, fake or not. The entry which begins with not-Nolte saying his pet bird reminds him of "The Thin Red Line" (but he's not sure why) is priceless.
posted by troutfishing at 3:32 PM on October 15, 2004

Nice shirt.
posted by ed at 3:40 PM on October 15, 2004

Nah, it's totally fake, but awesome. You think Nolte has time to write a blog? He's not like you, folks, he's not like us. He's got so many awesome things to do it's not even realistic, yo.
posted by Hildago at 4:46 PM on October 15, 2004

ed - omigod. that's just like me on a bad morning, but I have much better hair.
posted by troutfishing at 7:24 PM on October 15, 2004

Nor do I own such a fine shirt.
posted by troutfishing at 7:49 AM on October 16, 2004

it's officially a hoax.
story in the nytimes:

The Positively True Adventures of the Counterfeit Diary of Nick Nolte
For a few days this month, the Web site Nick Nolte's Diary - following a path blazed by fake Quentin Tarantinos and faux Martha Stewarts - burned brightly at the intersection of Hollywood and blog. Here's how two aspiring screenwriters' pet project, more than six months in the making, went from private homage to global hoax to cease-and-desist order in just a week
posted by matteo at 8:41 AM on October 31, 2004

oh, yeah, and the Times mentions us, too
good job modofo
posted by matteo at 8:45 AM on October 31, 2004

poop. i was going to post that nyt thing to meta. who'll read it here?
posted by andrew cooke at 5:36 PM on October 31, 2004

nobody, but it'll stay in the thread for archival purposes
posted by matteo at 11:55 AM on November 2, 2004

posted by modofo at 10:49 AM on November 4, 2004

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