But where is Danny Bonudce
December 14, 2004 6:48 PM   Subscribe

Thanks to our new service you too can spend quality time with Kato Kaelin. Unfortunately, Leon Spinks is currently unavailable. And if you think you might want to sleep or use your phone during the next week, make sure to read the faq.
posted by alms (20 comments total)
Wow. Linda Harrison is looking HAWT at 60!
posted by eyeballkid at 6:59 PM on December 14, 2004

The vast majority of our celebrities are not motivated by financial reasons when it comes to this project. Their extraordinary achievements have made them tremendously popular all across the globe and they believe that our patented new service is a great way for them to stay in touch with their growing fan base. It's also a lot of fun.

Well, this is obvious from their modest lifestyles and humble manner.
posted by cosmonik at 7:02 PM on December 14, 2004

NO! Noooooooo! Aggh, it hurts!
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:03 PM on December 14, 2004

Finally, someone compiled the official D-list of celebrities!

This should come in handy.
posted by mudpuppie at 7:03 PM on December 14, 2004

Damn, Mr. Belding needs some scratch...

Where's Screech?
posted by SweetJesus at 7:07 PM on December 14, 2004

Triple post. Hint: When you search metafilter, search some unique part of the URL. In this case, hollywoodiscalling brought up the history.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 7:08 PM on December 14, 2004

Damn you Flanders! I knew it was at least a DP, but my piss poor searching couldn't find it. Yet another reason I don't post more. :)

Stupid "less than a year" option.
posted by graventy at 7:10 PM on December 14, 2004

Excuse me, I only searched the last year. I guess it was a failure of my imagination to assume that this service couldn't have survived any longer than that.
posted by alms at 7:21 PM on December 14, 2004

*gives alms to the poor*
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:34 PM on December 14, 2004

Being reminded of this service, via triple-post or otherwise, has just ruined my evening.

although I wouldn't mind talking to Erin "Tabitha Stephens" Murphey because I always identified with her character on the show since we're almost exactly the same age. but I guess she can't really do magic, huh?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:39 PM on December 14, 2004

Erin Gray is available for live phone calls? I feel dirty all over.
posted by fatbobsmith at 7:41 PM on December 14, 2004

Come on, if Q called you and proposed on behalf of your boyfriend, what girl wouldn't be seduced?
posted by cosmonik at 7:44 PM on December 14, 2004

They do birthday, motivational and Christmas calls. I wonder if they can do firings? "Bill? Lou Ferrigno calling! You're fired! Have a great day!"
posted by arse_hat at 7:57 PM on December 14, 2004

What really repulses me is the low quality of JPEG compression they use on many of the celeb photos. Gives them a creepy case of digital acne. Bleh.
posted by Ironwolf at 8:11 PM on December 14, 2004

fatbob: Erin Gray is hot... aside from that whole unfortunate Dana Plato (drug addled porn skank) and Valerie Bertinelli (she married Eddie Van Halen, that's good for eternal damnation) thing... Joanie was the best.
posted by cedar at 9:51 PM on December 14, 2004

arse_hat, probably not big Lou, he's deaf as a post and not much good on the phone anymore. Now a Hulk Candygram, that would be worth seeing!
posted by fenriq at 11:32 PM on December 14, 2004

Thankfully I didn't have my 15 minutes of fame, and therefore don't feel the need to sell my dignity for a little cash. Do any of their friends point to a computer screen and tell them to just give it up?

Sad, sad, sad.
posted by fluffycreature at 5:00 AM on December 15, 2004

cedar- You're thinking of Erin Moran. Erin Grey strolled around Buck Rogers in a blue skinsuit for a few seasons, much to the glee of me and my pubescent friends.

And yeah, this has been posted before, but it's good to me reminded every once in a while that there is no depth to which some celebrities will not sink. And their roster seems to have grown...
posted by mkultra at 6:49 AM on December 15, 2004

Who would do this? Okay, so maybe I was thinking about it at one point, but still, seems creepy to be phoned by B-listed actors.
posted by kartooner at 8:13 AM on December 15, 2004

I say get a "Congratulations on a Great Report Card" call from the teacher in the "Hot for Teacher" video.
posted by SisterHavana at 10:00 AM on December 15, 2004

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