Easy books for imbeciles
April 26, 2005 7:20 PM   Subscribe

Infected warthog anus boogers!Author and iconoclast; or freak? If you spent any time in downtown Toronto in the 80's you likely saw Crad Kilodney, Dead Man Talking.
posted by arse_hat (12 comments total)
iconoclast? freak? Toronto?

I've been found out already.

Good post.
posted by iconoclastic flow at 7:30 PM on April 26, 2005

i just like saying "infected warthog anus boogers".
posted by quonsar at 7:57 PM on April 26, 2005

Of course, I read it as Infected Warthog Anus Bloggers.
posted by ao4047 at 8:00 PM on April 26, 2005

Are IWAB's part of the MSM?
posted by arse_hat at 8:06 PM on April 26, 2005

Sounds like a real-life Kilgore Trout.
posted by moonbird at 9:11 PM on April 26, 2005

I knew Crad well for many years. He was a very interesting guy.

I remember taking a date to a reading event and Crad was on the bill and he read a story called (if I remember correctly), "How to relieve the dryness between a woman's legs". My date literally fell of her chair in hysterics. Unfortunately, she was the only one laughing.

In 1993 I co-produced a documentary about him which played the Toronto film fest (another mefite directed it and one other did sound). We tried to get Crad to come to the TIFF screening or sell books out front (he always sold pretty close anyway) and he said something along the lines of, "Fuck those tightassed film festival assholes. I make less in those 10 days than I do any other time during the year. Not a one of those motherfuckers ever bought one of my books."

I lost touch with Crad shortly after his retirement but check online every once in a while to see what he's up to.

I remember always keeping an eye out for him whenever I walked downtown. The signs he hung around his neck were awesome: "Excrement - $6.", "Putrid Scum - $4", etc.

He used to hide a mic and record conversations with people after bating them with lines like "I'm Margaret Atwood, famous Canadian author". I think I still have his 6 audio cassettes. Track titles included "Sidewalk Preacher", "Marxist Twit", "Mumbling Polack", "Idiot", "Crazy Woman", and " 'Go back to fuckin' Lebanon!' "

One of the tapes has him approaching people in the financial district on their lunch hour and asking them basic science questions like, "Why do we have seasons?" Not a one of them got a question right.

i miss Crad. Downtown Toronto's not the same without him.

Though he's not anywhere near being on the same level, at least we still have Flyerman, though sightings of him are scarce these days. caveat: friend's website
posted by dobbs at 9:30 PM on April 26, 2005

dobbs was your film the one taken from by Daniel Richler's Imprint on TVO? Also, who are the other mefites?
posted by arse_hat at 9:59 PM on April 26, 2005

arse_hat, not sure I understand your question. "Taken from..."? It was an original film; b&w and color; 5 mins. It mighta played on TVO but if it did I'm not aware of it (I don't control the rights). It sold to Bravo in '94 and they had it for... jeeze, 4 or 5 years and it played regularly there. The Star did a nice piece on it during the fest as well (front page entertainment section). The title is just "Crad Kilodney".

Come to think of it I don't even think I have a producer credit on it (no one got one) as it's such a small film. I vividly remember fighting with the TIFF people as they only wanted to give an industry pass to the director. I wrote a rather angry/passionate letter to a higher-up and surprisingly she listened and gave all 5 crew members full passes and party invites. It was a good time.

I'd rather not out the other mefites. No doubt they'll see the thread in the next day or two and pipe up if they want to. Lately I've been trying to talk the director into putting the film up on the web. No luck so far, though.
posted by dobbs at 10:20 PM on April 26, 2005

dobbs, I remember a brief bit about Crad on Imprint. The filmed segment on the street was clearly not done by TVO staff and wonder if it is the same film. I do hope the other mefites come out.
posted by arse_hat at 10:30 PM on April 26, 2005

Oh, I dunno. I haven't watched tv in almost 20 years. If I remember correctly, our outside stuff was B&W and filmed in front of that gallery (Robertson's or something like that) on Yonge, between Wellesley and Bloor, east side. We also interviewed him in an apartment or two and there were color segments which had "dramatizations" of some of his stories. "This is your pen..." Heh. I haven't seen it in years.

I'll send the others a link to the thread.
posted by dobbs at 10:36 PM on April 26, 2005

i'm one of the other mefites who worked on the documentary with dobbs.

it was an "interesting" time. Crad's years selling on the streets had made him into a remarkable crank. i think our doc captured that best in it's length: at five minutes, it's a small dose. and small doses of Crad are about all you should take. :)

that said, thanks to dobbs' railing, i did get a producer's pass to the TIFF, the parties. the other producers have been telling me for years that I owe Dennis Hopper an apology for something I did, but I have no memory of the event (free vodka's a BAD THING)
posted by Al_Truist at 6:33 AM on April 27, 2005

Update: I got an e-mail from Crad. He is well. cradkilodney.net is no longer being updated as it was maintained by someone else who happens to owe Crad some money. Crad is retired but may write for cash. He is sending me his logic puzzles via snail mail.

P.S. Al_Truist, free Southern Comfort is even worse...
posted by arse_hat at 7:18 PM on April 27, 2005

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