breakingup

September 18, 2005 6:19 AM

I was googling for 'breaking up' and I got this , what else does a geek do when the unthinkable happens ? "Walk up and loop the leash around the back loin of the dog by either threading the leash through the handle or use the clip", argh my head. I miss her, I am such a lonely geek that I post here... life sucks
posted by leighm (64 comments total)

Worst post ever.
posted by Jairus at 6:20 AM on September 18, 2005

It really is! Wow.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 6:25 AM on September 18, 2005

Watch Return of the Jedi.
posted by nthdegx at 6:25 AM on September 18, 2005

Get a blog.
posted by fatbobsmith at 6:26 AM on September 18, 2005

Talk to Ask Metafilter
posted by anthill at 6:29 AM on September 18, 2005

Let's analyse this thing properly. We have: a broken link to a very irrelevent site, a self-link, and three Google searches, one of which differs from another only by searching for images instead of pages. The punctuation is awful. The tagging is worse. Poster calls himself a geek yet cannot post properly.

I do genuinely think this is a contender. Any thoughts?
posted by Pretty_Generic at 6:31 AM on September 18, 2005

Troy, is that you?
posted by lazy-ville at 6:31 AM on September 18, 2005

I'm just focusing on the technical side of things of course; the stench of self-loathing desperation should also be taken into account.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 6:33 AM on September 18, 2005

I am such a lonely geek that I post here... life sucks

Yes you are and yes it does. Get over it, she deserved better anyway..
posted by Nugget at 6:33 AM on September 18, 2005

If you really think life sucks, why not commit suicide? I've always thought that jumping off a cliff onto some nice, jagged rocks, to be washed away by the relentless pounding ocean waves, would be the quickest, cleanest way. With a great sensation of flying on the way down.

Alternatively, you might want to consider counting your blessings: rich, intelligent, well-fed, healthy, etc, etc, and go do something useful. Maybe even something you enjoy. Maybe even meet a new lover. Or you could surf the web a bit, find something entertaining, and post it on MeFi, why not!

Either way, life only sucks if you choose to let it. Sucker.
posted by cleardawn at 6:34 AM on September 18, 2005

Any thoughts?

Well, we could silently wait for an admin and try not to make the guy's day any worse. A few of us have had mefi low points...
posted by nthdegx at 6:34 AM on September 18, 2005

Drink a lot and listen to Nick Cave and Tom Waits. Wash, rinse, repeat for about two weeks. Then start wearing all-black and use your new-found attitude to pick up hot tattooed strippers with severe emotional disorders in punk bars*. I guarantee that will give you far worse problems that will make you forget all about your ex.

* Your results may vary
posted by xthlc at 6:35 AM on September 18, 2005

Metafilter: life sucks
posted by fatbobsmith at 6:36 AM on September 18, 2005

His last post was appalling too, and he's only made two of them. This chap is looking for tough love.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 6:37 AM on September 18, 2005

Wow, that link was seriously broken. Oddly, I have learned that if I type `http' (minus the quotes) into Firefox and hit enter, I get zapped straight across to a Microsoft anti-spyware website. Anyone know why this would be?
posted by tomble at 6:44 AM on September 18, 2005

tomble, because the first Google result for the search 'http' returns that Microsoft page.
posted by Jairus at 6:46 AM on September 18, 2005

...in other words, typing anything that isn't a URL or a firefox-specific string into your address bar is the same as running a Google "I'm Feeling Lucky" search on it.
posted by Jairus at 6:47 AM on September 18, 2005

If you really think life sucks, why not commit suicide?

cleardawn, I think The Samaritans could do with your services. Think how many extra calls they'd get through every night..
posted by Nugget at 6:50 AM on September 18, 2005

So why is it that virtually all of leighm's posts and comments are links to trendwatcher.koan.net URLs?
posted by mcwetboy at 6:51 AM on September 18, 2005

OK Leigh, here's what you're going to do. Go stand outside her window holding a boombox over your head. The boombox should be playing Peter Gabriel's 'In Your Eyes.' Stand there until she realizes the error of her ways and you two live happily ever after.

Failing that, cleardawn's "gnash yourself upon the rocks" suggestion has merit.
posted by Simon! at 7:02 AM on September 18, 2005

My vote is to keep the link live.

Every community needs to have a pillory, perhaps we can start pillory.metafilter.com where we can heap abuse onto the unknowing - unwilling - unbright so that they can learn from their ignorant - lazy - unholy ways.
posted by fluffycreature at 7:02 AM on September 18, 2005

"I am so ronery!"
posted by clevershark at 7:03 AM on September 18, 2005

Sorry about your breakup leighm. It seems to have affected you quite adversely.
posted by caddis at 7:03 AM on September 18, 2005

Out of curiousity, leighm, what exactly is your relationship, besides being the top poster, to koan.net and the koan media productions?
posted by cmonkey at 7:04 AM on September 18, 2005

Give the guy a break, he's having a tough time.
posted by zog at 7:10 AM on September 18, 2005

lol. at, with, against. whatever.
posted by tiamat at 7:19 AM on September 18, 2005

Life sucks, and then you marry one.
posted by Eekacat at 7:23 AM on September 18, 2005

Give the guy a break, he's having a tough time.

He used 'is' as a tag. No.

Besides, she was too good for him anyway..
posted by Nugget at 7:27 AM on September 18, 2005

mcwetboy writes "So why is it that virtually all of leighm's posts and comments are links to trendwatcher.koan.net URLs?"

Because, according to this page, dgtlmoon, who posted the entry linked to in the second link, is Leigh Morresi, and according to this page, leighm is also Leigh Morresi.

So my guess is that he's just really smitten with posts by people with the same name as himself.
posted by Bugbread at 7:28 AM on September 18, 2005

Here is the broken link. It ain't pretty. There's a pic of an arm with a bloody gash.
posted by captainscared at 7:31 AM on September 18, 2005

Are any of the following legal in your locale?

Alcohol, Drugs, or Prostitution?
posted by KantoKing at 7:34 AM on September 18, 2005

cmonkey writes "Out of curiousity, leighm, what exactly is your relationship, besides being the top poster, to koan.net and the koan media productions?"

My guess, and this is just speculation, is that leigh isn't just the top poster:

He's the top two posters.
posted by Bugbread at 7:36 AM on September 18, 2005

Metafilter: I am such a lonely geek that I post here.

Seriously, Ask Metafilter has many breakup threads to help you get through this.
posted by NickDouglas at 7:43 AM on September 18, 2005

I miss Shouting.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:43 AM on September 18, 2005

I don't
posted by adamvasco at 8:00 AM on September 18, 2005

Seriously, I'm going to have to grab you guys by the legs and swing you in circles to separate your teeth from leighm's neck.

[Although I'm quite pleased to have this rare opportuity to use the word schadenfreude. There, that felt nice.]
posted by Ricky_gr10 at 8:04 AM on September 18, 2005

Leigh, I say this with compassion: There is nothing less interesting than someone else's heartbreak. Suck it up already.
posted by LarryC at 8:06 AM on September 18, 2005

i h8 u 2 leighm ;__;
posted by naxosaxur at 8:08 AM on September 18, 2005

Since the first link didn't work, I actually thought he was talking about the movie 'dogfight' with River Phoenix and Lili Taylor, which is much more relevant actually.
posted by milovoo at 8:10 AM on September 18, 2005

It's like watching a train wreck, except after the accident, all the onlookers storm the train and begin beating the survivors.
posted by fatbobsmith at 8:12 AM on September 18, 2005

Stalking is a great way to keep the relationship going.
posted by piscatorius at 8:17 AM on September 18, 2005

MetaFilter: It's like watching a train wreck, except after the accident, all the onlookers storm the train and begin beating the survivors.
posted by grouse at 8:18 AM on September 18, 2005

First "this" link sends me to MS.
posted by johnj at 8:23 AM on September 18, 2005

grouse: dead. on.
posted by pookzilla at 8:31 AM on September 18, 2005

clevershark wins.
posted by AspectRatio at 8:49 AM on September 18, 2005

While we're here: we all know how it's supposedly illegal to suggest that someone kill the president. Is it also illegal to say the president should kill himself? Will I get a visit from the secret service if I start a "Bush should take the honorable way out" campaign?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:05 AM on September 18, 2005

Life Stinks!
posted by mazola at 9:20 AM on September 18, 2005

jairus, I typed "shit" into the address bar and got this. I think that's seriously broken browser behavior. How would I turn it off? I looked through Edit ->; Preferences for something like "Internet keywords" and found nothing.

leighm, how old are you anyway? I ask because by the time I was 32 I'd quit being miserable because I got dumped. Then again, by the time I was 32 I'd been dumped 100 times, so....

I second Nick Douglas' suggestion.

And Pretty Generic, there are other kinds of geeks, such as clevershark.
posted by davy at 9:22 AM on September 18, 2005

Cry for help indeed.

Second the suggestion to visit AskMe's breakup threads.
posted by Vidiot at 9:23 AM on September 18, 2005

Incidentally, leighm, googling for I am such a lonely geek does not work very well.
posted by davy at 9:28 AM on September 18, 2005

Hmm...I'm a little surprised at the direction of this trainwreck: I thought the self-post would be what knocked the carriage off the tracks (after all, people get banned for that, and this is his second time), but it's the E/N that actually caused the most passenger injury.
posted by Bugbread at 9:33 AM on September 18, 2005

davy: if you want to turn off the "I'm feeling lucky" search, type about:config into your address bar, and change the keyword.url string to some other engine or URL.
posted by Jairus at 9:48 AM on September 18, 2005

I don't even understand what's happening in here.
posted by exlotuseater at 9:53 AM on September 18, 2005

posted by RockCorpse at 9:57 AM on September 18, 2005

WTF is this about?
posted by fixedgear at 10:08 AM on September 18, 2005

Time to learn to suck your own cock, Leigh.
posted by klangklangston at 10:15 AM on September 18, 2005

"I'm afraid I'll have to give you the thumbs down, old chap. So sorry."
posted by Rothko at 10:40 AM on September 18, 2005

Jerk off in your hand.

Then slap her with it.
posted by dreamsign at 10:50 AM on September 18, 2005

Why is this thread still here?
posted by grouse at 10:51 AM on September 18, 2005

Rothko writes "'I'm afraid I'll have to give you the thumbs down, old chap. So sorry.'"

Now you're fucked, leigh. Angelfire is giving you the thumbs down.
posted by Bugbread at 10:51 AM on September 18, 2005

davy, that's a feature, not a bug. i use it all the time, e.g. download, espn, flock (heh), etc. etc.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:56 AM on September 18, 2005

Why is this thread still here?

Take it to AskMetafilter.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:56 AM on September 18, 2005

Leigh, I say this with compassion: There is nothing less interesting than someone else's heartbreak. Suck it up already.

Word to your mutha!
posted by fenriq at 11:01 AM on September 18, 2005

I thought that Microsoft link was in on purpose, cause of the lonely looking woman staring at a phallus.
posted by 31d1 at 11:04 AM on September 18, 2005