funny obituary? is that like "jumbo shrimp"?
October 13, 2005 6:22 AM   Subscribe

Ted was discharged from the U.S. Army during WWII due to service related injuries, and then forced his way back into the Illinois National Guard insisting no one tells him when to serve his country.
posted by stenseng at 6:26 AM on October 13, 2005

posted by notsnot at 6:27 AM on October 13, 2005

That's charming. Acerbic has just the right tone.
posted by Swandive at 6:35 AM on October 13, 2005

A single link to an op-ed?
Hah, I like it!
posted by Plutor at 6:40 AM on October 13, 2005

This is great. What a cool link.
posted by Malor at 6:41 AM on October 13, 2005

You can sign the guestbook.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:47 AM on October 13, 2005

Perfect! Strikes just the right tone, assuming I'm correct in thinking acerbic is roughly halfway between caustic and vitriolic.
posted by psmealey at 6:54 AM on October 13, 2005

What a wonderful idea.

Should I die before her, and my time, in lieu of flowers I'd like acerbic comments carved into lumps of coal sent to Mrs. Thatcher.
posted by jack_mo at 6:54 AM on October 13, 2005

Well, now I know what I want in my obit.
posted by kalimac at 6:55 AM on October 13, 2005

I wish I could be more acerbic and less vitriolic
posted by matteo at 7:02 AM on October 13, 2005

Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:04 AM on October 13, 2005

that is why i miss my sweet home, Chicago
posted by tsarfan at 7:17 AM on October 13, 2005

It must be a Chicago thing.

Just before my dad (born in Cicero) died earlier this year, he wrote his own obituary and had printed (among other things) "Mr. D kicked the bucket and bought the farm on Friday" ... "He was born in Cicero to be close to his mother" and referred to himself as "a wanna-be Pollack" (he was actually Czech).

Makes you start thinking about what you'd write for your obituary, if you wanted to make a statement.
posted by darren at 7:22 AM on October 13, 2005

Darren: I think My Death is still up and running, and can cater to your morbid needs. I used it once when I had goth pretensions. You can plan your entire death from there. Well, the bits directly after your death anyhow.
posted by Swandive at 7:43 AM on October 13, 2005

I know what I want on my headstone.

I want 4 big arrows pointing to tiny text.

You have to bend in real close.
Reeeal close.
Reading the tiny, beautifully carved writing that reads

Get off my fucking grave
posted by lalochezia at 7:45 AM on October 13, 2005

I wish I had known him.
posted by scratch at 8:28 AM on October 13, 2005

Great find taumeson.
posted by three blind mice at 8:34 AM on October 13, 2005

I wish I had known him.

As much as I admire him and wish to be him one day, I gotta say I'm sure this guy was a real pleasure to be around! He sounds like the crankiest of cranks that ever cracked a pot!
posted by Pollomacho at 8:58 AM on October 13, 2005

I can't decide whether I'd prefer to be buried in the blue or the grey. Perhaps I'll post a question on Ask.
posted by VulcanMike at 9:55 AM on October 13, 2005

I don't get it. What did the Republicans do to this guy? Did they cut his Medicare/Benefits, inducing his death? Did they forcibly remove him from service? Or did he just generally not like them? Or do his survivors dislike Republicans and are abusing his convenient death to push their agenda? It's really not clear from that short obit.
posted by Eideteker at 10:58 AM on October 13, 2005

posted by bardic at 12:21 PM on October 13, 2005

XQUZYPHYR: Watched it not 8 hours ago!
posted by ryanrs at 1:47 PM on October 13, 2005

fandango_matt: *rimshot*
No shit, sizzlechest!

No, I mean was there a specific cause? Or should I just write any old representative and say "You suck!"? Because that there's a surefire engine for change.

I thought maybe it was something like, "They cut my dad's veteran's benefits, so write Jack Johnson and John Jackson, R-ID, and ask them to fix veterans' benefits." "Be angry," isn't much of a directive. I'm already angry, thanks.

Here is a short play to demonstrate my point:
PERSON 1. I'm hungry.
PERSON 2. Gee, me too! Where do you want to go to eat?
PERSON 1. Food. Food now.
PERSON 2. Oooookay...

posted by Eideteker at 2:54 PM on October 13, 2005

As a funeral director, I'm going to start suggesting more obits like this one, because I need more stuff to laugh at in my job.
posted by ColdChef at 6:53 PM on October 13, 2005

I think I'll put something similar on my Amazon Wishlist, in lieu of gifts.
posted by Vidiot at 6:54 PM on October 13, 2005

In case you die close to election day, a post-mortem from Michigan.
posted by Julie at 12:17 PM on October 14, 2005

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