Friday Flash: Become Republican.
November 4, 2005 11:59 AM   Subscribe

Become Republican [flash]. A how-to guide for non-Republicans and other liberal trash. Plenty other cartoons and such at the frown.
posted by damehex (51 comments total)
 
America haters!
posted by nofundy at 12:27 PM on November 4, 2005


Unfunny, uninsightful, insulting, embarrassing.
posted by cloeburner at 12:28 PM on November 4, 2005


I wish the people with the time, energy, and skills to assemble these things would use their considerable talents to create works that will actually educate and win people over to our side--like This Social Security thing--instead of just preaching to the converted by making the same joke over and over again.
posted by fandango_matt at 12:37 PM on November 4, 2005


fandango, I think you're generous in your assumption that more than 5% of either side is capable of communicating effectively with people who aren't their idealogical twins.
posted by phearlez at 12:41 PM on November 4, 2005


everything old is new again.
posted by crunchland at 12:42 PM on November 4, 2005


Ah, whatevs to you people. I think it's super cute.
posted by damehex at 12:44 PM on November 4, 2005


I thought it was funny.

I agree with f_matt that trying to convince people is a worthwhile endeavor. But that doesn't mean that all choir-preaching is bad.
posted by ibmcginty at 12:49 PM on November 4, 2005


I snorted coffee out my nose about dropping the 'J' bomb.
He died on the cross for you--the least you can do is put a bumper sticker on your car!
posted by leftcoastbob at 12:49 PM on November 4, 2005


cloeburner nailed it: pure noise.
posted by dhoyt at 12:50 PM on November 4, 2005


Cute doesn't change peoples minds. Cute makes people feel smug about how clever they are, and makes the people they are mocking want to listen to their ideas that they spout as so great about as much as you'd want to listen to a joke about how much liberals want to eat babies worship Stalin.

Yes, it's a nice little joke you've got there. Now do you have anything useful we can, you know, use to counter the arguement that leftologists have no ideas?
posted by daq at 12:51 PM on November 4, 2005


Right! If it doesn't counter rightologists' arguments or solve the Solve the Social Security crisis, then it's worthless!

I'm sorry I laughed at the cartoon. I shouldn't because this is serious shit. Now everybody get back to fixing the nation.
posted by leftcoastbob at 12:57 PM on November 4, 2005


C'mon, guys. It has a little liberal guy wearing a "Yay Tax!" t-shirt. You gotta love it.
posted by brundlefly at 12:59 PM on November 4, 2005


fandango_matt: You're right, by the way. That Social Security thing is great...
posted by brundlefly at 1:03 PM on November 4, 2005


See, the problem is that when you actually claim that the Democrats somehow have common sense and honesty you show yourself to really lack any critical thinking skills and therefore whatever criticism you'd like to make of any other party or political affiliation just falls pretty flat.
posted by xmutex at 1:03 PM on November 4, 2005


Hey, don't apologize for laughing--it's yet another cute and funny "Republicans Evil!" Flash animation, like the other 3,765,748,222,372 cute and funny "Republicans Evil!" Flash animations on the Internet.
posted by fandango_matt at 1:05 PM on November 4, 2005


I liked it. It cut to the essence of most republican rhetoric.
posted by StarForce5 at 1:12 PM on November 4, 2005


I like the music.
posted by Opposite George at 1:15 PM on November 4, 2005


And it has a republictastic breakbeat! But it's like someone took an old Suck comic and let it wash around with all the beach pebbles for a few years until it looked (and read)...dull. And rounded.
posted by tpl1212 at 1:16 PM on November 4, 2005


What would you rather have thousands of mammograms or one really kick-ass Tomahawk missle? Hee hee.

It's always nice to see all of the crimes stitched neatly together in one place. Who would have guessed the manifesto for the coming revolution would be a silly flash animation?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:23 PM on November 4, 2005


I liked it too. Especially the Morality Thermometer. I've heard it all before too, but the drawings were super cute.
posted by jimmy76 at 1:33 PM on November 4, 2005


I'm a Republican and still found this cartoon to be absolutely hilarious. You guys need to lighten up.

Those Welfare Fat Cats are living the good life while the struggling upper class foots the bill. Their greed even drives some of them to work multiple jobs while we're lucky if we get one! Too funny!
posted by elafint at 1:41 PM on November 4, 2005


It's funny because it's true. At least, it sums up a lot of my worldview pretty well.

You scolds who are concerned that it might alienate Red America: lighten up! Does Sean Hannity pull his punches for fear of alienating Blue America?

It's a big country, and a big intarweb. There's room for all kinds of discourse.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 1:52 PM on November 4, 2005


I enjoyed the writing, and the drawing style. Esp. the kick-ass tomahawk missile line.

See, the problem is that when you actually claim that the Democrats somehow have common sense and honesty you show yourself to really lack any critical thinking skills and therefore whatever criticism you'd like to make of any other party or political affiliation just falls pretty flat.

So, wait: by the mere act of claiming that the Dems have common sense and honesty, I would be showing myself to lack any critical thinking skills?

Would it be the same if you claimed that the Repubs have common sense and honesty?

I mean, if you're saying that attributing common sense and honesty to any political party is poor judgement...well, I would agree with you. But if you're saying it only counts as poor judgement if you attribute it to the Dems, well -- that shows a severe lack of critical thinking skills, donchathink?
posted by davejay at 2:09 PM on November 4, 2005


So, wait: by the mere act of claiming that the Dems have common sense and honesty, I would be showing myself to lack any critical thinking skills?

Would it be the same if you claimed that the Repubs have common sense and honesty?


Of course. Perhaps moreso.
posted by xmutex at 2:26 PM on November 4, 2005


This piece is obviously not about trying to change any minds. This is to remind liberals what they are fighting for and what they are up against. You all are always complaining that the Democrats don't have a clear message and lack cohesion. Well here you go. The average left leaning Netizen does not put so much thought into the political situation as some people around here. Something like this is a nice reminder to get up off your ass.

If a few conservatives read it and are insulted, bonus. And if even one Republican looks at it and thinks it's smart and funny, well, then it will sit in their sub-conscience along with all the other signs and slowly, slowly help the light shine in... *looks at elafint sideways* Just kidding.
posted by Mr T at 2:28 PM on November 4, 2005


Laughter is one of the most persuasive of all political tools. When people can see that people are laughing at them for believing obvious lies, they do begin to wonder about things they were previously taking for granted. And that's about the best anyone can hope to do.
posted by cleardawn at 2:29 PM on November 4, 2005


posted by Artifice_Eternity You scolds who are concerned that it might alienate Red America: lighten up! Does Sean Hannity pull his punches for fear of alienating Blue America?

It's a big country, and a big intarweb. There's room for all kinds of discourse.


You're missing the point. Here we have yet another Flash animation full of the usual blather about how bad and evil and corrupt and wrong Republicans are, and it's the same crap Sean Hannity et al spew daily about Democrats. So, Republicans are a bunch of corrupt, warmongering, sexually repressed Jesus freaks? Democrats will laugh and agree, and Republicans will get pissed off. Land o' goshen, that's real insight.

Put yourself in the position of someone who voted for Bush but is dissatisfied with the way things are going. Will he or she find this mildly insulting? Probably. Will that convince him or her to vote differently in the next election? Probably not. So beyond its initial ha-ha cuteness, it doesn't offer much to educate or change opinions, unlike that Social Security piece, which explained in non-insulting and non-partisan tones why Bush's proposals were a bad idea.

While I do agree humor and satire and laughter are powerful political tools, they aren't being used here to change anyone's minds, merely to rally the faithful. And speaking as one of the faithful, I think I can safely say we don't need any more rallying or reminding or pep talks--it's the vaguely dissatisfied, the uninformed, and the lazy we need to remind, inform, and rally, and this piece isn't doing any of that.

As I said earlier, it's too bad the people with the time, energy, and skills to assemble these Flash animations don't use their talents to create animations that will actually change people's attitudes, or at the very least, give them pause to consider, "Hey, maybe I was mistaken." I realize that's a tall order, but maybe then we'd have a Flash animation worth watching. This one isn't any better than this one, and while some of it is mildly amusing, it shouldn't be mistaken for anything other than the Hannity-style crap that it is. Crunchland nailed it: we're not going to win people to our side by telling them how stupid and evil they are.
posted by fandango_matt at 2:37 PM on November 4, 2005


cloeburner nailed it: pure noise.

i agree; that accompanying music was totally loud!

we're not going to win people to our side by telling them how stupid and evil they are.

perhaps not, but wouldn't it be a pyrrhic victory to win "others" (which typically means undecided voters, who are typically the least-informed people in the country) to our "side" by becoming more like republicans?

to bastardize groucho marx: i wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have them as members.
posted by Hat Maui at 2:48 PM on November 4, 2005


I don't know that demonizing the other side really furthers the agenda of any of us any. All the US political process seems to be about in the modern age is backbiting across the aisle. Painting people you have ideological differences with as monsters is as bad as [insert godwin reference here] and doesn't foster anything beyond ghettoism.

A revolution from some bit of fast-food Flash? I believe that about as much as those saying on disposible coffee cups actually reaching out and touching someone's lives.

We don't need a revolution, we need to get the fuck along and start talkin' it out, y'all.

PS -- I wished I coulda gone "clicky clicky" on more of the flash. Also, yes, very "Suck meets Beevis & Butthead"
posted by Ogre Lawless at 2:55 PM on November 4, 2005


I'm sorry fandango_matt but you are the one not getting it. We are not going to win anybody over no matter what. Why waste time trying. Motivating high turnout is the way things work now. There are no moderates left in this country and there won't be for years to come. The Republican leadership, with the permission of it's constituency, fucked this country up so bad that they now must believe the lies or perish.

Did you look at the other stuff on that site. I didn't notice anything else political. They weren't wasting their time on this as some kind of political statement. They were making a funny, first and foremost. The hypocrisy and out right 'toolishness' of Republicans has gone to such an extreme that they are a joke. A sick joke.
posted by Mr T at 3:10 PM on November 4, 2005


Speaking as a Republican.... you're right that this sort of thing won't win us over (at least, not the thoughtful among us). Although i agree: hilariously funny... =)
posted by Micah at 4:28 PM on November 4, 2005


Unclench, you killjoys. That (although was stuff that, yeah, we know already) was plenty funny. The music, the drawings, and some of the turns of phrase were quite hysterical.
Not everything has to change the whole world.
posted by Jon-o at 4:31 PM on November 4, 2005


Not everything has to change the whole world.

That's it exactly. Lighten up and chuckle every once in a while. They may not be winning anyone over to anything but that's okay, too.
posted by leftcoastbob at 4:59 PM on November 4, 2005


so well done.

i wish i could say the same for most of the other 3,765,748,222,372 of these types of animations i've seen. but i cannot.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 5:15 PM on November 4, 2005


It's not funny, because it's too true.
posted by interrobang at 5:19 PM on November 4, 2005


We are not going to win anybody over no matter what. Why waste time trying. Motivating high turnout is the way things work now. There are no moderates left in this country and there won't be for years to come. The Republican leadership, with the permission of it's constituency, fucked this country up so bad that they now must believe the lies or perish.

THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY IS FALLING!!! FLEE, FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
posted by Krrrlson at 6:16 PM on November 4, 2005


this was funny. in order to conform i guess i'll have to give up the red meat, cigs and start smoking pot again. but i hate conformity.
posted by brandz at 6:52 PM on November 4, 2005


That's it - I've had enough of the demonRATS un-Christian, un-American turnip tax. Sign me up.
posted by hobbes103 at 7:10 PM on November 4, 2005


I liked it too. Especially the Morality Thermometer.

Thermometer? I thought that was a flaming penis.
posted by a_day_late at 7:26 PM on November 4, 2005


I thought about how this thread was likely to go for a while, then I just decided to play Cat Tetris for half an hour instead.
posted by nanojath at 8:09 PM on November 4, 2005


Suck.com, is that you? (No, it's just another Terry Colon imitator.)

It went on about 5 pages too long, and most of the later ones had (relatively) dense text. I thought I was in the middle of a Dave Sim phonebook.

These were cute, though:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Droppin' the J-Bomb!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Always look on the bright side of life!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Shh. Nobody tell Michelle Malkin, mmmkay?
posted by dhartung at 8:27 PM on November 4, 2005


Link to Cat Tetris please, tia.
posted by Krrrlson at 9:54 PM on November 4, 2005


Could Cat Tetris be this?
posted by djeo at 10:25 PM on November 4, 2005


That was cat something and too small but not tetris. Too small. Bigger cats! More weird shapes!
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 7:49 AM on November 5, 2005


that was awesome. they really nailed it.
posted by modernerd at 8:24 AM on November 5, 2005


Put me down as another Republican who thought it was pretty funny. And in terms of conversion impact, it's at least as persuasive as a Paul Krugman column...

And I agree that the Flash animation that could actually win you all back the White House won't target moderates, or Republicans, it'll target mainstream Democrats squarely and persuade them to nominate the only kind of Democrat who'll win in 2008: a pro-gun, pro-death penalty Southerner, of whom there's no lack whatever in the Democratic Party.
posted by MattD at 8:54 AM on November 5, 2005


MattD: I'm all for gun tote'n Southerners, with the caveat that Texas is not in the South. Not that it matters, I'm not in the Democratic Party (aka the Abortion Party).
posted by Mr T at 9:29 AM on November 5, 2005


Fandango_Matt: That link was wonderful. The problem and solution have rarely been explained so succinctly.
posted by voltairemodern at 11:40 AM on November 5, 2005


THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY IS FALLING!!! FLEE, FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

I blame Canada.
posted by mr.marx at 2:23 PM on November 5, 2005


dhartung, sorry, but are you a friend of this Terry Colon, because this art looks better to me. I could slap these illustrators with their curly lines. Show me one of those crappy, snappy curly lines in Mr. Frisk's work. Not there, thank Jebus.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 5:46 PM on November 5, 2005


Well-written, well-drawn, and overall well-produced that made me smirk when I wasn't choking back bile at what these guys think of the average Republican. Overblown stereotypes and deliberate baiting is no way to make me see how dumb I've been and come over to your side. But hey, I guess it's a good way to keep your people on message.
posted by marc1919 at 10:03 PM on November 6, 2005


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