100% Hayden, Jar-Jar, and Lucas Free
November 18, 2005 7:13 AM   Subscribe

Star Wars Episode 3, the abridged script (MP3). Funny and well-done audio goodness for your Friday. From the folks at GeeksOn.
posted by mkultra (15 comments total)
You're right. It is funny.
posted by arcticwoman at 7:49 AM on November 18, 2005

Samuel L "muthafuckin" Jackson is a pretty racist stereotype, though. But I guess the real Samuel Jackson often is too.
posted by arcticwoman at 7:50 AM on November 18, 2005

Is there anyone working today who is more of a badass motherfucker than Sam Jackson?
posted by mkultra at 7:53 AM on November 18, 2005

Read along here.
posted by howling fantods at 7:58 AM on November 18, 2005

If only we could strap George Lucas in a chair, put headphones on him, and leave an MP3 player on "loop" for about a week...sigh.
posted by alumshubby at 8:00 AM on November 18, 2005

No - Jackson is the baddest MF around!
posted by yonnage at 8:43 AM on November 18, 2005

Nicely done -- thanks. (and howling fantods, thanks for the link to the script)
posted by brain_drain at 9:12 AM on November 18, 2005

"Well, now that you have taken a single, somewhat justifiable step toward the Dark Side, there's no turning back," is my favorite line.
posted by david wester at 9:27 AM on November 18, 2005

jeez! NSFW much!?
oh wait . . . i'm not at work.
posted by nola at 9:36 AM on November 18, 2005

Okay, I thought it was going to be lame at the beginning when Obiwan throws up (vomit humor is not a great way to start your comedy piece) but after that it gets much funnier. And incisive.
posted by aparrish at 9:55 AM on November 18, 2005

I think the script alone is far more entertaining. There's lots of other good stuff at the site as well.
posted by O9scar at 10:37 AM on November 18, 2005

Wait, really? You mean, to hide him
from Hayden and Ian, we're going to
allow him to keep the last name
Skywalker, bring him to Hayden's
birth planet, and put him in the
care of his actual relatives? It
would take like an hour of research
to track him down if the Empire
wanted him.

posted by gurple at 10:43 AM on November 18, 2005

That was awesome, because it was sharp on the point of the prequels generating enormous plot holes in the original trilogy that are massively annoying in being unjustifiable and perfectly avoidable.

Like why did Padme have to be heard naming her babies?! Why even reveal that there are twins? WHY SHOW WHO THEY GO TO LIVE WITH?! You could have completely cut the horribly stiff and uncomfortable birth scene to say she died in childbirth and move on. Otherwise, not only do you know from the opening scene of 4 that Luke is Vader's son, you also already know Leia is his sister and hence certain scenes are gross while being witnessed, rather than in retrospect.

AND the fact you are shown Padme's death just makes the scene in 6 with Leia "remembering" her mother pointless and pathetic because we know it wasn't actually Padme she knew.

Anyway, I really try not to get worked up over it. They ARE just movies. All the problems just derive from Lucas treating this like the end of the series, rather than the mid-point it technically was (if you believe his bullshit about being able to watch it 1-6 as a complete, coherent storyline). It's just frustrating that there was so much potential and instead we get this flashy, nonsensical crap.

Very incisive and funny link, thanks!
posted by nelleish at 11:10 AM on November 18, 2005

I like Knights of the Old Republic. It's set in the same galaxy, but in a time of plenty, long before Emperor George Lucas was in charge of galactic trade routes and plot decisions and suchlike.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 1:13 PM on November 18, 2005

I love this purely because Ewan McGregor sounds like Alec Guinness. I dont know whether that was intentional or not, but the impersonation was spot on.

LOL at "Well, go watch over him from really far away to make sure he's safe."
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 3:09 AM on November 19, 2005

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