gas holograms of old people at my balls!
December 1, 2005 5:41 PM   Subscribe

Are you in your early 40s? Do you resemble the God Apollo yet feel a certain dissastisfaction (like a splinter in your mind) toward photos of yourself? You are not alone: "I have enclosed below a series of pictures to show how the US government starting around 1994 went back in time with remote sensing and holographic radiation longitudinal emf and sound wave holographic energy beams as shown in the movie time tunnel to place different computer generated holographic archetypes of different Nordic, Celtic, and Aryan faces and other attributes around my body as if I were a microcosm of the center of the universe, Adam, and God, to change the genetic attributes, facial form, eye color, hair color, voice sound, and many other body attributes throughout my life year by year from my birth (1962, Jan 23 Midnight) to the present representing correlation's between the years in my life and the ages of evolution and history from the beginning of time to the present." [via Waxy]
posted by scarabic (55 comments total)
Sweet. I thought I was the only one.
posted by mullingitover at 5:46 PM on December 1, 2005

looks like it took the government a while to holographically correct his overbite.
posted by Lee Marvin at 5:54 PM on December 1, 2005

posted by keswick at 5:55 PM on December 1, 2005

Oh great, another religion vs. science thread.
posted by iamck at 5:56 PM on December 1, 2005

I'm so happy to see I wasn't the only power-dork in plaid.
I'm also happy to see that there's a new form of web design out there: "typed outline".
posted by Slap Incognito at 5:58 PM on December 1, 2005

"Which then forces me to rent a room from my parents."

He had me completely fooled, right up to the Thomas Kinkaid reference.
posted by Haruspex at 5:58 PM on December 1, 2005

Something was wrong. But I don't think it had anything to do with the governement.

This would have been a different story had he laid off of the ACID a little bit!
posted by snsranch at 6:01 PM on December 1, 2005

You are educated stupid. Cube proves you are mentally enslaved as stupid and unable to know 4/16 Cube.
posted by brownpau at 6:01 PM on December 1, 2005

We should construct a metal hat in the shape of a cone or pyramid which first is made of tin as is available at most hardware stores, and then layered with silver foil, and then another layer of copper sheet, then silver foil, and then copper, then silver foil and then a layer of metal wires wrapped around, and then a layer of tin which is sprayed with black nanocarbon paint as is available at We should also line the inner part of the hat with sound proofing foam....
posted by syzygy at 6:02 PM on December 1, 2005

Too bad metal hats have been proven to be INEFFECTIVE against Illuminiti sataltites.
posted by SweetJesus at 6:07 PM on December 1, 2005

Satellites too...
posted by SweetJesus at 6:08 PM on December 1, 2005

Making fun of someone's confusion and illness is indecent. I don't flag (except to flag "fantastic"), but I nearly did for this one. Indeed, I rarely even comment in a post that I don't like; I usually just move to the next one.

It might be different if this guy ran a cult, or was inviting people to cut off their balls and join the comet, or if he ran the country and was running us all into the ground according to his delusions. But it's just some poor addled schmuck.

But then, I never joined in when my elementary school classmates screamed "retards" at the "short bus", either.

This is just indecent, scarabic. Do us, do yourself, a favor, and ask Matt to remove this thread.
posted by orthogonality at 6:10 PM on December 1, 2005

History: Fiction or Science? Learn how and why Ancient Rome, Greece and Egypt were crafted during Renaissance.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:11 PM on December 1, 2005

The photos of him throughout his life make this so sad :(
posted by holloway at 6:17 PM on December 1, 2005

I concur. This is sad. But it is true. Sad but true. Let us not make fun of it.
posted by swlabr at 6:29 PM on December 1, 2005

let's keep the metachat off metafilter.
posted by quonsar at 6:30 PM on December 1, 2005

I would disagree, orthogonality, although I understand your POV. I found this interesting in the same way I find Dick's exegesis interesting. Dick may have been good with words, and famous for other things, but that doesn't change the fact that Dick thought an extraterrestrial super computer was communicating with him through the means of a pink lazer beam. The man was insane, albiet interestingly insane. Like this guy.

I say it should stay up. And, holloway, amen. The pictures are what grabbed me.
posted by brundlefly at 6:30 PM on December 1, 2005

I like it.

It's sort of like a poem.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 6:39 PM on December 1, 2005

brundlefly writes "I found this interesting in the same way I find Dick's exegesis interesting. "

Philip K. Dick, as a published author, was to some degree a public person; scarbic's poor addled fool is not. Dick produced works enjoyed by many; all we can enjoy about this guy is in mocking his suffering.

Would we defend an FPP of quicktime movie of cats being physically tortured posted for our amusement? Why defend an FPP of a human who lives in permanent mental torture, posted so we could laugh at it?

It diminishes us to take pleasure in someone else's senseless pain.
posted by orthogonality at 6:40 PM on December 1, 2005

Is this not this fellow's webpage, put up purportedly to be seen? I can buy that he is ill, but still. He has made himself a public person as far as his website goes.
posted by cortex at 6:44 PM on December 1, 2005

Not that I'm arguing for sophomoric reveling at his expense, but taking an interest seems okay.
posted by cortex at 6:45 PM on December 1, 2005

It diminishes us to take pleasure in someone else's senseless pain.

That element drives certain members of this site. Nature of the beast.
posted by Rothko at 6:46 PM on December 1, 2005

Am I so thoroughly cynical then? I'm still not completely convinced it's real.
posted by Haruspex at 6:46 PM on December 1, 2005

Anyone have any idea why this crap was posted to Waxy? I was trying to figure this out yesterday...
posted by Brockstar at 6:49 PM on December 1, 2005

I doubt this is real, although whatever it is is very thorough. There are petitions for certiorari in there, many emails about ion beams and what not, poems, and more.
posted by Falconetti at 6:53 PM on December 1, 2005

cortex: isn't that kind of like saying "she was asking for it, dressing like that?"
posted by keswick at 6:55 PM on December 1, 2005

Well do I remember the day my Father said to me, "Son (he said), in life you will meet many people who take pleasure in others' pain. Do not poke them in the eye with a stick, as you will inevitably wish to do, but realize that they are aged approximately 13, emotionally if not physically, and take comfort in the fact that life will poke them in the eye with a stick many, many times, and that they will not understand the irony in this when others find it 'funnee'." It was then that the chamber began to fill with water, but his words have haunted me ever since.
posted by planetthoughtful at 7:16 PM on December 1, 2005

Philip K. Dick, as a published author, was to some degree a public person; scarbic's poor addled fool is not. Dick produced works enjoyed by many; all we can enjoy about this guy is in mocking his suffering.

Mmmm. I disagree. Philip K. Dick was, despite my respect for his earlier work, a "poor addled fool" in the end. Does a person's level of celebrity justify airing out their mental problems? How famous do you have to be before it's okay to talk about it? Point it out? Share it with others who may find it interesting? Besides, who's mocking him?

Also, what is your definition of "published?" This guy doesn't have any books out, he hasn't seen print, but he posted it didn't he? He's put it out there for people to read, and we're reading it. I'm sure he'd be happy.
posted by brundlefly at 7:17 PM on December 1, 2005

Honestly, I didn't post this to point and laugh at this person. It certainly is open to a million and one wisecracks, but that's not why I posted it. I've always found something oddly fascinating about the writings of the mentally ill, ever since I paged through the "schizeophrenic writing and art" chapter in a psych 101 textbook. I experiment with writing myself and find this kind of thing stylistically compelling while totally confounding and sometimes terrifying. It's extremely difficult for the mentally sound and the mentally ill to relate, and nothing takes me into their shoes like a good, long, in-depth piece of writing from someone like this who, while off his nut, has a fine command of the language.

As for my introductory sentence, I summarized the guy's main thesis faithfully, as near as I can tell. I tried to make it catchier with the "you are not alone," but come on. How do you really introduce this? I failed to do so with the solemnity some feel that mental illness demands. I'll admit that and offer a limited apology to those offended. But fuck no I'm not gong to "do myself a favor" and beg Matt to delete. Whatever, ortho.

screamed "retards" at the "short bus"

This, frankly, is rather rudely assuming intent and reading into what I think, fuck you very much.
posted by scarabic at 7:17 PM on December 1, 2005

The creepy thing, for me, isn't that he appears to believe this. It's seeing how he got to this point, and how normal/mainstream he looked for so long. Did he believe this when he was five? Thirteen? Eighteen?

He's right. He did look pretty Apollonian. I would've had a crush on him in middle school -- if, you know, I'd been alive then.

It makes me wonder who I see now, who's totally normal now, but will grow up to wear tinhats and have their hair curled by aliens within a few years. It really makes me wonder about the impetus behind that belief.
posted by booksandlibretti at 7:22 PM on December 1, 2005

I'm not sure it matters, but I really don't think this is real. The writing looks to me as if it's meant to mimic pressured speech, but doesn't seem genuine. It's hard to put my finger on, but it reads more like the heavily edited words of somebody experiencing mania.

Orthogonality is right that such a post should evoke sympathy rather than laughter, but I don't think scarabic deserves so much flak for this.

Besides, plenty of other people (admittedly strange people) seem to think that what this guy has to say is not insane... Perhaps he's simply like all those people in What the #$*! Do We (K)now!?.
posted by dsword at 7:25 PM on December 1, 2005

Or perhaps the internet just allows all the people in the world with similarly out-there complexes to gather and validate one another. I mean, can you imagine how alienating it must be to think this way? Yet, at the same time, I bet it's not hard to find a credulous ear on the internet.

I'd be fascinated to see a forum where this kind of dialogue was taking place.
posted by scarabic at 7:29 PM on December 1, 2005

Oh, and one of the things I thought was interesting was that you can see some pretty basic self-image issues and mortality complex, the agony of aging, etc. being played out in the midst of all the insanely complex conspriacy theory.

I'm not entirely sure this can be validated as real. It has its moments where it feels contrived, but in the end, I've seen enough similar writings to consider it plausible if not definitely "real."
posted by scarabic at 7:32 PM on December 1, 2005

I can't shake the feeling that I've seen this before (and didn't care then either).
posted by kjh at 7:39 PM on December 1, 2005

He makes sense, in a metaphorical kinda way.
posted by darkstar at 7:40 PM on December 1, 2005

A number of disorders are often accompanied with a compulsive need to document, particularly in the face of what you would imagine to be an overwhelming disbelief by not only the general community, but also, I imagine, by the people in that person's life to which another person might normally turn to for understanding.

The older brother of a friend of mine, suffering from schizophrenia, keeps dozens (probably hundreds) of journals of observations about the persecution he experiences every day that no-one else appears to notice. He shows them to people to demonstrate that it's really happening; after all, in his own words, why would he make it up? I imagine if he didn't have a deep distrust of computers (fueled by a belief that he is under constant surveillance by a shadowy group whose intentions and goals he has spent much of his life trying to understand), then those journals would make their way onto the internet as a warning and plea to others.

Of course, he's not making it up. He is recording events as he is able to perceive them. And it is painful to imagine people peering into his troubled life for 10 minutes of drooling amusement, and defending the act by saying "He put it up on the internet, so it's his fault I get a kick out of his suffering, not mine."

I'm not suggesting that was your intent, scarabic, but I agree with others in a general sense. This isn't funny. It's sad in a way that I hope I never come to understand looking from the inside out.
posted by planetthoughtful at 7:44 PM on December 1, 2005

It IS sad. But that's not all it has to be. And not merely for sniggering entertainment, either.

I guess empathy can manifest in different ways. This is a poem. He is our brother. It's good to remember this, sometimes.

posted by darkstar at 7:51 PM on December 1, 2005

cortex: isn't that kind of like saying "she was asking for it, dressing like that?"

No, it's more like saying "hey, look at what she's wearing."
posted by cortex at 7:57 PM on December 1, 2005

There is a woman in Berkeley who posts hand-written newsbills on bulletin boards and such, visiting the same locations frequently to update them (I swear it's basically an offline weblog).

She has an interesting conspiracy theory which she is always fleshing out further. Basically, she claims that the entire marijuana trade in Northern California is made up of networks of people that grew out of a very specific circle of friends who hung together in the early 70s. This group circled around her, apparently. And, what's more important, she was the only one in the group with friends in both Northern AND Southern California.

To hear her tell it, her connections were robbed of her and she suffered all the ills of prosecution and taxation but was cheated out of all the credit and money. She likes to branch out from marijuana to peripheral cultural associations around music, the 60s, 70s, etc, and claim to be the seminal social force in all of a range of subcultures.

It's classic self-aggrandizement combined with a persecution complex. But her missives are so clearly put forth (really her text-layout is impeccable and all done by hand with a pen) and most certainly plead with much passion and full confidence that she is in possession of the Truth. I met someone from Santa Cruz (some 1.5 hours drive away) who knew of her from that locale, and claimed to have been seeing her postings around for years.

Basically, she's Jason Kottke, except mentally ill, and stapled to telephone poles instead of served over http. I show up at the laundromat eager to read her next update, and I hope one day to see her come in to post a new edition.

I'm not going to pretend that I take all of this in without an ounce of humor, only deep & noble sympathy. Of course not. There are moments when the writing makes me laugh with scorn. It would be snide to link to her works with a headline like "area woman lays claim to a cut of all drug sales since 1970" but it would also be accurate.

There are also times when I can sympathize with the emotion being expressed, however bizarre the thought patterns orbiting it: the bitterness, the sense of injustice, the desire to let go of old injuries yet not quite being able to. It's all expressed in what looks like a wild fantasyland of delusion at arm's length, but often if you look closely, you find that some of the wildly alien material is frighteningly recognizable. Is this sympathy? Perhaps, but I think the best word is "fascination." Some of the shards of glass in the wreckage are mirrors.

If all you see is a wisecrack waiting to happen or a tragedy to be pitied, I think you're missing it. There's art in it. And where there's art there's thought. And where there's thought there's something to learn.
posted by scarabic at 8:17 PM on December 1, 2005

scarabic writes "If all you see is a wisecrack waiting to happen or a tragedy to be pitied, I think you're missing it."

Wish you'd put the FPP in this context, man, rather thsn just pointing at the crazy guy.
posted by orthogonality at 8:28 PM on December 1, 2005

I just did.
posted by scarabic at 8:31 PM on December 1, 2005

Well put, scarabic. That's basically how I took it.
posted by brundlefly at 8:45 PM on December 1, 2005

scarabic, that's exactly what I was getting at. I didn't think it could be expressed well in a paragraph or two on the Blue, though.

Glad you did.
posted by darkstar at 8:47 PM on December 1, 2005

Uh, who is Jason Kottke?
posted by moonbiter at 10:34 PM on December 1, 2005

I suppose he could be a dim, distant cousin to Leo, - who plays a really mean twelve string and croaks like a frog. But, maybe not.
posted by troutfishing at 10:41 PM on December 1, 2005

Oh, never mind. Found him on Wikipedia. Weird. Does he claim to have invented everything related to blogging?
posted by moonbiter at 10:54 PM on December 1, 2005

No I just meant him as an example of a classic blogger who's been around a long time that lots of people know.

No offense :)
posted by scarabic at 11:20 PM on December 1, 2005

That teenage photo looks like Tadzio in the film version of Death in Venice.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:55 AM on December 2, 2005

jeez the PC attitude can get a little stifling around here sometimes. shouldn't imagination always precede judgment?
posted by It ain't over yet at 2:15 AM on December 2, 2005

A++++++++++++, would read again.
posted by fixedgear at 4:09 AM on December 2, 2005

This kind of paranoia is a product of our increasingly ill society, and the rate at which technology has outpaced the average person. It's very sad but oddly logical that this is how many people express their fears related to a world in which they no longer feel any control. I'm working with a *child* who has very similar feelings (though not as loquaciously expressed), so I have little sensitivity to to this as being something 'funny.'
posted by moonbird at 4:57 AM on December 2, 2005

Well, I seem to be in the largely unrepresented third contingent: I didn't think of this post as being Something To Laugh At, nor Something To Feel Really Sad About, but Something Interesting. I've heard a lot of conspiracy theories, but this hologramatic appearance reconstruction was damn new to me, and I found it interesting, in probably the same way that a forensic entomologist finds the growth of parasites in necrotic flesh: neither funny, nor sad, but interesting.
posted by Bugbread at 7:20 AM on December 2, 2005

Discussions about the reasons for posting a post - the meta in metafilter.
posted by iamck at 8:25 AM on December 2, 2005

Whoops...Yeah, most of this thread perhaps should have gone in MetaTalk.
posted by Bugbread at 9:31 AM on December 2, 2005

Yeah, I don't mind asking ortho to take it straight to MeTa the next time he's SO confident of my malevolence that he feels the need to dickslap me with such authority. I mean, really, if you think someone has screwed up so badly they need to email Matt and beg deletion, then have the balls to post your gripe to MeTa.

He read me wrong, which I don't mind (and which I was able to correct). What I wasn't able to correct was the derail into a sub-debate about whether or not I intended this as a point-and-laugh.
posted by scarabic at 5:07 PM on December 2, 2005

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