Bush Buzzword Bingo

December 18, 2005 4:01 PM

Bush Buzzword Bingo - If you can't stand listening to the president speak, try playing this game. Like the Thanksgiving version, you get a bingo card randomly printed with Bush's favorite buzzwords, bushisms and talking points. First to get five in a row gets bingo, but probably will just end up feeling bad about the world. For more bush/bushism fun, try the "Give Bush a Brain" game from egreetings. (see if you can beat my high score of 8)
posted by FeldBum (34 comments total)

What, no "Internets"?
posted by Robot Johnny at 4:08 PM on December 18, 2005

Let's see how many times he uses the word "victory" in tonight's speech.
posted by ericb at 4:11 PM on December 18, 2005

The George W. Bush Speechwriter -- write a speech for George Bush and listen to him read it.
posted by ericb at 4:13 PM on December 18, 2005

Strangely, what bothers me most is that the "BINGO" square isn't necessarily in the middle.
posted by Godbert at 4:31 PM on December 18, 2005

Strangely, what bothers me most is that the "BINGO" square isn't necessarily in the middle.

Well, with Bush the standards of rules (and law) don't apply!
posted by ericb at 5:00 PM on December 18, 2005

How Bush's speech should begin: "This is the 37th time I have spoken to you from this office, where so many
decisions have been made that shaped the history of this Nation...."
posted by orthogonality at 5:19 PM on December 18, 2005

You have to understand...heh...you need to realise that fighting:

1) Martians
2) Giant Radioactive Ants
3) Terror
4) Hitler's Antartic Submarine Base
5) Insurgents
6) Bullies
7) Thugs
8) The Enemies of the Free World

is hard work. It's a tough thing to handle. And that's why:

1) I'm hiring (pick name from list)
2) I'm keeping (pick name from list)
3) I'm rejecting (pick recent proposal from list)
4) I'm asking the American People
5) I'm pressuring (pick name from list)
6) I'm demanding (keep it nice & vauge)
7) I'm proud of (pick name - just to stall for another 3-4 days)
8) We're staying in Iraq
9) Everyone has to do their part in this economy.

as far as the time being is still concerned. There'll be no more questions.
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:29 PM on December 18, 2005

Full text of speech:

"9/11 has changed everything... I am protecting America's civil rights by taking them away, so the terrorists can't have them.... because 9/11 changed everything. Mission accomplished! Cripples and children are voting in Iraq! 9/11 changed everything! Democracy has its jack-boots on and is on the march! 9/11 changed everything! We must continue to sacrifice our troops, so the troops whop made the ultimate sacrifice won't have died in vain. Because 9/11 changed everything. Terror! 9/11! War! Terror! 9/11!"
posted by orthogonality at 5:41 PM on December 18, 2005

It's not Bush's platitudes that bother me. It's his habit of pausing when he reaches the end of a line, like a moronic high school student asked to read poetry aloud in class.
posted by schoolgirl report at 6:01 PM on December 18, 2005

He's waiting for applause.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:08 PM on December 18, 2005

Transcript
posted by elpapacito at 6:19 PM on December 18, 2005

CNN decided to use an excellent picture of President Bush to accompany their transcript.
posted by booksandlibretti at 6:21 PM on December 18, 2005

Bush, fron transcript: "To retreat before victory would be an act of recklessness and dishonor and I will not allow it."

From the history of the Battle for Stalingrad:

"Adolf Hitler now ordered Paulus to take Stalingrad whatever the cost to German forces. On the radio Hitler told the German people: "You may rest assured that nobody will ever drive us out of Stalingrad."

. . . .

On 30th January, 1943, Adolf Hitler promoted to Paulus to field marshal and sent him a message reminding him that no German field marshal had ever been captured. Hitler was clearly suggesting to Paulus to commit suicide but he declined and the following day surrendered to the Red Army. The last of the Germans surrendered on 2nd February.

posted by orthogonality at 6:36 PM on December 18, 2005

I know that some of my decisions have led to terrible loss - and not one of those decisions has been taken lightly.

Wow.
posted by hoborg at 6:53 PM on December 18, 2005

This is offensive.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 7:03 PM on December 18, 2005

I was rather stunned. Bush was articulate, used long words without stumbling (much), and seemed to recognize that many longstanding talking points had to be recast in pragmatic terms. (Such as "Saddam Hussein had the capacity to quickly reconstitute weapons of mass destruction programs", which is quite the mouthful.) The speech was therefore split into little arcs, some where he was showing he's actually read a newspaper recently, and others where the normal bullshit, false dilemmas, and hand-waving took place. The acknowledgement of American military deaths was more specific and direct than ever before, and the direct address -- at the end, without much passion, to be true -- to his opponents was remarkable.

He got outside help with this speech, there's no doubt -- from people in the real world who knew he's in a great deep hole and needs to start clawing his way back, and the stump speech that he's been re-using over and over (most before mlitary audiences) for the last year just wouldn't wash.

My guess is the speech alone was worth about two points in the polls, but where that fits in with the Iraqi elections (+2?) and the NSA scandal (-5?) is anyone's guess. But this "new Bush" is probably about two years too late, considering he's already in late Nixon territory.
posted by dhartung at 7:07 PM on December 18, 2005

StrasbourgSecaucus, you didn't get the memo. It's insane and offensive.
posted by dhartung at 7:07 PM on December 18, 2005

The concept of promoting defeatism is lost on some, who refuse to see the benefit of at least attempting to establish a Democracy in the Middle East. An area thats been at war pretty much full time since just after dinosaurs and ferns made oil.
posted by garficher at 7:17 PM on December 18, 2005

It doesn't have my favorite part, the condescending explanation that Bush makes after every time he tries to make a point. For example, "Saddam had the ability to produce biological and chemical weapons. In other words, he was a danger."
posted by my sock puppet account at 7:45 PM on December 18, 2005

considering he's already in late Nixon territory

It's been interesting how the media has tap-danced around this when they've reported his poll numbers this fall. No one has the stones to say his numbers are the lowest since Nixon's while Nixon was nearly being impeached.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:48 PM on December 18, 2005

"Stay the course--Iraq gets a constitutional democracy, but you don't--we're watching you"
posted by amberglow at 7:58 PM on December 18, 2005

considering he's already in late Nixon territory...

It's been interesting how the media has tap-danced around this...

This weekend's wiretapping revelations might do the trick. Bets on the "Gate" locution for this one? Tap-gate? "The Conversation"-gate?
posted by O Blitiri at 9:03 PM on December 18, 2005

I like wiregate.
Previously lightly used for the thing on his back.
posted by dhartung at 9:44 PM on December 18, 2005

The concept of promoting defeatism is lost on some, who refuse to see the benefit of at least attempting to establish a Democracy in the Middle East.

Presumably there's a benefit to establishing a democracy in the Middle East (Israel, Turkey, Kuwait, and Egypt don't count?). But what's the benefit of incompetently "attempting to establish" one? Is it that it makes you feel better about yourself because you can say, "hey, at least I tried"?
posted by deanc at 9:59 PM on December 18, 2005

attempting to establish a democracy in iraq is like attempting to give a bicycle to a fish. for example - there is actually no such thing as an iraqi. the iraqi nation is a construct, a semantic creation. these people are tribal. the borders and designation were forced on them by others. any conversation built around the concept of an iraqi nation is horseshit propaganda tailor-made for the ignorant who don't understand how and by whom the current world map was created.
posted by quonsar at 10:36 PM on December 18, 2005

The concept of promoting defeatism is lost on some, who refuse to see the benefit of at least attempting to establish a Democracy in the Middle East.

Democracy is so simple. You invade, depose, occupy and just add water. Voila! Democracy sprouts, takes root and flowers. Everyone loves one another and they all want peace. Why, just look at the former Yugoslavia. All those governments were voted in. And they got along famously. All you have to do is just add water. It's so easy.
posted by y2karl at 10:41 PM on December 18, 2005

We may have killed over 100,000 Iraqis, destroyed their nation and robbed them of their history seven ways from Sunday, but heck, we at least have to show that we tried to give them Democracy. Even if it was a doomed fool's errand. Appearances matter. Otherwise no nation would ever trust us again.
posted by y2karl at 10:49 PM on December 18, 2005

"To retreat before victory would be an act of recklessness and dishonor and I will not allow it."

What does this fucktard know about honor? He's a deserter who started a war in order to cope with his own shame and threatened masculinity.
posted by oncogenesis at 11:08 PM on December 18, 2005

"Saddam had the ability to produce biological and chemical weapons."

And, right here, we have three great lies.

1) Anybody with even 1900s chemical engineering technology can make chemical weapons.

2) Biowarfare is even older.

at least he's confessing that he lied to use about Iraq being able to build nuclear weapons.
posted by eriko at 5:42 AM on December 19, 2005

The bingo game doesn't even have "appreciate." Maybe it would've been too much like giving a second "free" square.

Presidential press conference, 10:30 this morning.
posted by ibmcginty at 6:17 AM on December 19, 2005

kirkaracha: It's been interesting how the media has tap-danced around this when they've reported his poll numbers this fall. No one has the stones to say his numbers are the lowest since Nixon's while Nixon was nearly being impeached.

On NPR, hey say that every time they discuss the poll numbers. But then, nobody listens to them...
posted by lodurr at 9:35 AM on December 19, 2005

Eheh look at the reps trying to weasel out of the boat that's fast sinking. How does it feel to be cornered into a corner in which the audience is so nauseated by the rethoric , the jingoism and the misleading that nobody is willing to just listen at that crap ?

But I hear that rock oil is good against many pains...if one lives long enough to enjoy it, obviously.
posted by elpapacito at 12:33 PM on December 19, 2005

Shorter Preznit
posted by homunculus at 1:14 PM on December 19, 2005

schoolgirl, mr_crash_davis, I always thought that he was pausing so that his handlers could cue him for the next line on his earpiece...
posted by anthill at 3:21 PM on December 19, 2005