Buying my tickets to Canada.
February 3, 2006 6:36 AM   Subscribe

Congress has extended the Patriot Act another five weeks. I swear it's like putting a Hyena down. You keep shooting it but it keep slaughing in your face.
posted by Doorstop (50 comments total)
You're either with us, or you're with the laughing hyenas.
posted by slater at 6:37 AM on February 3, 2006

The silly thing is, Bush doesn't even need the Patriot Act: as War President and Unitary Executive, he can do whatever he wants as long as the "Long War" lasts.
posted by orthogonality at 6:42 AM on February 3, 2006

To turn a phrase, "we have always been at war with civil liberties."
posted by clevershark at 6:46 AM on February 3, 2006

Thank God. When I scanned this on Metadash I read "five years."
posted by sourwookie at 6:51 AM on February 3, 2006

I know this is an important topic to discuss, and yet I am fixated on "slaughing". We must make a definition for this word.
posted by poppo at 6:53 AM on February 3, 2006

Surprise Surprise Surprise.
posted by OmieWise at 6:53 AM on February 3, 2006


...if it had said five years:
a) i would be crying uncontrollably
b) i would be burning things in the street
c) i would be expatriating
posted by Doorstop at 6:53 AM on February 3, 2006

the slaughing hyenas will always slaugh last.
posted by Hat Maui at 6:53 AM on February 3, 2006

"slaughing" - when a fellow named doorstop comes to work without caffeine in his system and posts a metalink
posted by Doorstop at 6:54 AM on February 3, 2006

And I am fixated on whether to pronounce it as "slawing" or "slaffing". At least for the next 5 weeks.
posted by bobloblaw at 6:58 AM on February 3, 2006

I don't know whether to slaugh or cry.
posted by you just lost the game at 7:00 AM on February 3, 2006

Slaughing- laughing so hard that you lose control of your bowels and shit yourself. Therefore, shitting and laughing, or slaughing. ex. The Rebublicans were so happy to have extended the wildly unpopular law that they couldn't stop slaughing.
posted by ND¢ at 7:00 AM on February 3, 2006

Slaugh loves Chunk!
posted by sourwookie at 7:01 AM on February 3, 2006

I believe that would be "shlaughing"... as in "sharting"...

Can't you people get anything right? dam!
posted by HuronBob at 7:05 AM on February 3, 2006

Everyone does understand that there is no one in Congress who opposes extending the Patriot Act permanently, right? You understand that the Democrats are 100% for it? They're mainly dickering now over little extra bits, like the new secret police provision mentioned a few days earlier. There's zero chance of the basic provisions being overturned or not made permanent. Neither "side" is pushing for that.

So if you're going to move to Canada due to the Patriot Act, you can book your tickets now.
posted by jellicle at 7:07 AM on February 3, 2006

MetaFilter: Lose control of your bowels and shit yourself.
posted by Mikey-San at 7:08 AM on February 3, 2006

Slaughing: the nervous chuckle that you do when you realize that all your jokes about being watched weren't actually jokes, but you didn't know it at the time.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 7:10 AM on February 3, 2006

Stop burning the Reichstag, Jews.
posted by orthogonality at 7:14 AM on February 3, 2006

Slaughing: v. the usage of cole slaw as a projectile or biological weapon.
posted by anomie at 7:16 AM on February 3, 2006

Our president is busy trying to protect us from attacks by hyena-human clone experiments, and this is how you treat him? Shame! Shame!
posted by zaelic at 7:32 AM on February 3, 2006

Isn't it slaughing when some beverage comes out your nose?
posted by klarck at 7:38 AM on February 3, 2006

Slaughing is the verb derived from the noun "slaughter", as in "That slays me."
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:42 AM on February 3, 2006

Five Years: My brain hurts alot
posted by grateful at 7:46 AM on February 3, 2006

Now, who's gonna post "I for one wellcome our new slaughing hyena overlords"? Eh?
posted by acrobat at 7:49 AM on February 3, 2006

my guess? acrobat.
posted by Hat Maui at 7:57 AM on February 3, 2006

Buy a ticket to Canada? Hmm, how about one to D.C.? (just got mine)
posted by wah at 8:03 AM on February 3, 2006

Let's keep harping on the funny typo.
posted by wakko at 8:35 AM on February 3, 2006

Bush and Blair slaughed so hard about screwing all of us over, that Cheney had to change both their diapers.
posted by Doorstop at 8:38 AM on February 3, 2006

I don't know whether to slaugh or scry
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:47 AM on February 3, 2006

Please, please, please.... for the LOVE of $DEITY stop refering to it as the "Patriot" act. The individuals that drafted this abomination co-opted it as an acronym. U.S.A.P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism.
This act has no purpose in keeping America strong, nor protecting us from "Trrrists", as DEAR LEADER likes to call them.

Call or write your congress critter.
posted by PROD_TPSL at 8:51 AM on February 3, 2006

Speaking of "the Long War," Rumsfeld said, "they will either succeed in changing our way of life, or we will succeed in changing theirs." Haven't "they" already succeeded in changing our way of life?
posted by kirkaracha at 8:53 AM on February 3, 2006

my point exactly. its been different since 9-11. i wish others would realize that.
posted by Doorstop at 9:01 AM on February 3, 2006

One typo and you forget the issue at hand? No wonder you're being overrun by your own government.
posted by jon_kill at 9:05 AM on February 3, 2006

I thought a slaughing occured at the end of a good laugh as laughter turns to sighing.

Plutocrat One: ...and then I backed up and ran him over again!
Plutocrat Two: That will teach him to beg on the freeway! Haw Haw Haw!
Plutocrat One: Haw Haw Haw!
Plutocrat Two: Haw Haw hhhaawwwww. (<---- slaughing) My, we are quite the pair.
Plutocrat One: Indeed!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:10 AM on February 3, 2006

Haven't "they" already succeeded in changing our way of life?

Actually kiraracha, not really much at all. As pernicious as it is, the vast majority of Americans are not going to experience any change in their way of life. Frankly.

It's hard for me to get worked up that the government might be listening in on my phone call, when I'm worried if I have enough money to pay the telephone bill.

All of this Democratic hand-wringing is exactly what the Republicans want. The traditional Democratic base - the blue collar workers who now vote Republican - don't care a crap about the PATRIOT Act. They are concerned about Healthcare and Jobs. Pointy-headed elites worry about the Patriot Act. In the places I drink, people are worried about keeping their job and making their mortgage payments.

As long as the Democrats whine about civil liberties and spying and torture and BUSH, they aren't talking about the things that will will them an election. It's the rope-a-dope and the dumb-ass Democrats fall for it time and time again.

The only way to defeat the PATRIOT act and all the other foolishness is by taking control of the government. The only way the Dems are going to do this is to appeal to the traditional values of the party - the 1950 values not the 1970 values. Bill Clinton won on Heath Care, Health Care, Health Care and the Economy (and then he famously failed to do anything about the former.) The Republicans are hugely vulnerable on these issues and the FUCKING DEMOCRATS ARE CRYING ABOUT ABORTION AND CIVIL LIBERTIES. Get your heads out of your asses.
posted by three blind mice at 9:38 AM on February 3, 2006

I am prepared to be attacked by the blue, but if you can hold off long enough to hear my question, I would be obliged.

Is there a meaningful dialogue taking place about the USAPATRIOT act anywhere? Snippets of secret police is fine, but what about the rest of the ## pages that are enclosed. I am curious about all of it.

Is this picked apart piece by anywhere?

I would like to understand my hatred of it a bit more, and then also send this to my congress critters to get their answer (in writing) why each section is valuable.

(a boy can dream....)

thanks, I take my answer offline.

PS. I realize I can google, but am curious if there is a knowledgeable answer that would point me to a highly regarded source.
posted by fluffycreature at 9:47 AM on February 3, 2006

Please, please, please.... for the LOVE of $DEITY stop refering to it as the "Patriot" act.

In the long run, it's actually healthy that emotion-appeal, nationalistic buzzwords like "Patroit" get tied to maddening, evil legislation like the USAPATRIOT Act, because it weakens those terms. Anyone who knows what the act really is will be that much more standoffish over the word in the future, and that's good.

You could think of it this way: it's inevitable that the word would get abused some day, so the sooner that particular little American irrationality-word gets torn down, the better. There's dozens more to take its place, sure, but let's take things one step at a time.

In the short run, however, you're right it sucks.
posted by JHarris at 9:52 AM on February 3, 2006

fluffycreature: try the ACLU site on the Act, which collects and collates quite a bit of information and dissection.
posted by OmieWise at 10:05 AM on February 3, 2006

How many times can they renew this piece of shit?
posted by graventy at 10:07 AM on February 3, 2006

Of course it was a stretch to make the anagram U.S.A.P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act, but those who drafted it figured that U.R.F.U.C.K.E.D. (United Republicans For Unusually Constructed Keynesian Economics Dialectics) was most likely counter-productive.
posted by leftcoastbob at 10:13 AM on February 3, 2006

Jellicle, when you say no-one in Congress, are you referring specifically to the House? Because, in fact, my Senator, Russ Feingold DID vote against even the extension. (Which actually surprises me... I expected him to at least vote for an extension to review, not vote against it outright). I like that he did that, but it is surprising, as overall he seems to be a fairly sensible, moderate-libertarian/populist Democrat, who can appreciate nuance.

I highly doubt there will be any other Senator to vote against it, unless they actually call the White House's bluff and realize that there will be no actual safeguard for liberties that they hope will be implemented. And of course, it don't matter jack shit with "Presidential Signing Statements" being used to excuse the president from implementing parts of a law...
posted by symbioid at 10:49 AM on February 3, 2006

Upon looking at, it appears that there's even more fuss in the House against it. 257-171.

Yeah, it doesn't matter... it passed, but there IS opposition to it, so to claim there isn't is completely wrong.
posted by symbioid at 10:53 AM on February 3, 2006

Big props to Russ Feingold, the only real American in the Senate. He is setting his sight on the presidency and making sure he leaves a trail that will make him very popular among the public in a few years.
posted by JJ86 at 11:46 AM on February 3, 2006

try the ACLU site on the Act

perfect. Thanks!
posted by fluffycreature at 2:08 PM on February 3, 2006

He is setting his sight on the presidency and making sure he leaves a trail that will make him very popular among the public in a few years.

Speaking as someone from his hometown who's personally met him, I don't think he really is "setting his sights on the presidency". I think he knows, deep down, that he's unelectable (despite a netroots bounce). He's a very serious policy wonk, but he's Jewish and twice-divorced, and at times leftward and rightward of the party line (but mostly leftward). I think he does want to have an important role in Democratic party politics, and will be ready to join a Democratic cabinet.

As for the USA PATRIOT Act, it will be renewed. Even Feingold's own speech from December averred that there was strong Democratic support for renewing the majority of the act. What he hopes to accomplish is building civil-liberties protections into the act for the next N years, and making sure that Congress retains the sunset provisions so that they must revisit the question in the future, presumably when the political calculus changes.
posted by dhartung at 2:18 PM on February 3, 2006

“...Senate negotiators worked to close a deal with the White House on renewing the antiterrorism law with some new civil liberties protections.”

Not enough lube to slide smoothly yet?

I dunno. If I found a fed conducting a ‘secret search’ on my house I suspect he’d never be heard from again. (Got a buddy who has some swampland)
posted by Smedleyman at 3:04 PM on February 3, 2006

Re: Canada. Ass, door. Avoid contact between.

posted by Eideteker at 8:29 PM on February 3, 2006

how is it cowardice to recognize when i'm being fucked and can't do anything about it? really. i tried voting. gee, that did wonders. i tried talkint to those who do not understand our rights. obviously that went swimmingly as well. quite frankly, i give up. I just wanna have some peace of mind. at the same time, i know i cannot go ANYWHERE in the world to get that peace of mind. in that respect, "buying my tickets to Canada" is a joke to me. In truth, its a sad reality that this world blows right now. Book me on the next rocket to Mars.
posted by Doorstop at 8:38 PM on February 3, 2006

If the 49.9% leave, then the 50.1% becomes 100%. It's not really that insurmountable a goal. What we need is more people taking responsibility, not fewer. This country was founded on Revolution. I'd rather start another one of those than leave the country. If things seem hopeless, then you're either nuts or not alone. Better to band together with those others who feel something needs to be done and then keep on chipping away. It's a pendulum swing, anyway. Pretty soon we'll be back to the puppet on the left instead of the puppet on the right.

Remember that this nation was founded on distrust of government. Those in power are never your friends. "The role of government is to protect its citizens from foreign powers and from themselves. The role of the citizenry is to protect themselves from government."
posted by Eideteker at 9:04 PM on February 3, 2006

[old white men Senators with bad toupees channeling the Patriot Act]
posted by nofundy at 8:51 AM on February 4, 2006

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