Quest for Glory

February 3, 2006 1:22 PM

What would happen if you tried to play out RPG cliches in real life? You certainly couldn't do all of them, but there are a few you can try. Not quite as funny as Summoner Geeks, but quite entertaining. "And if one thing should be taken from this experience, above anything else, should the fate of the universe ever be in your hands, only bother to seek the aid of girls under the age of 30."
posted by smith186 (21 comments total)

Oh, it’s about video game RPG’s
Pfft.
*scoffs*
posted by Smedleyman at 1:35 PM on February 3, 2006

heh, cool story.

I love the magazine-style format of the article, it's beautiful though it was hard to read in spots due to tiny text on top of low-contrast photos.
posted by mathowie at 1:42 PM on February 3, 2006

Men with grey beards really don't like to be called, "fellow wizard." (Although, their wives are likely to find it funny.)
Ha!
posted by brundlefly at 1:43 PM on February 3, 2006

I do like the Grand List Of Console Role Playing Game Clichés.
Old skool
General RPG
posted by Smedleyman at 1:44 PM on February 3, 2006

here's a more legible format.
posted by crunchland at 1:45 PM on February 3, 2006

I can't stand reading the escapist because of their magazine format. It's annoying and hard to read.
posted by puke & cry at 1:45 PM on February 3, 2006 [1 favorite]

er... or you could just click on the word "text" at the bottom of that stupid, stupid page.
posted by crunchland at 1:46 PM on February 3, 2006

ah, thanks crunchland.
posted by puke & cry at 1:47 PM on February 3, 2006 [1 favorite]

At the risk of taking this too seriously...

Wizards are high-status individuals in fantasy settings where magic is part of daily life: the correct test would be to dress as a very well-off businessman and to ask a passerby to do something that makes sense within our world, such as give a 'phone to someone - perhaps the 'wizard' is trapped by needing to wait for someone, and needs to get the 'phone to someone else?

You also might want to try this out somewhere other than England, famously one of the most reserved places in the world, notorious for chilly formality towards strangers that probably results from our high population density and early urbanisation.
posted by alasdair at 1:48 PM on February 3, 2006

That's a good point, alasdair, but a counterpoint: silly costumes are awesome.
posted by Simon! at 2:03 PM on February 3, 2006

here's a more legible format.

Is this true? The, er, wizards that run this site have seen fit to redirect users who navigate to the plain text version without clicking through the fancified version first to that very fancified version?

No wonder so many people refused to help them. They are, if not evil wizards, than at the very least, malicious wizards.
posted by eustacescrubb at 2:45 PM on February 3, 2006

Crap. I was hoping for the Head of Vecna.
posted by Kickstart70 at 3:07 PM on February 3, 2006

I chop off my own head and put on the withered skull!
posted by jenovus at 3:28 PM on February 3, 2006

thanks, crunchlannd. That'd be a nice layout for a magazine, but it's a horrible layout for the web ... I thought the web had been around long enough for the design geeks to have figured it out by now?

Entertaining articles though.
posted by hattifattener at 3:46 PM on February 3, 2006

If you dare, spend eleven minutes of your life watching the most painfully compelling mockumentary on the lives of two basement fantasy role playing gamers. (via Raymond Chen, via Chris Williams) .

Really, I quite recommend it. Well, I wouldn't recommend it, but... you know what I mean.
posted by blindcarboncopy at 11:09 PM on February 3, 2006

The real find is the list of RPG cliches... that is really funny, although it is awful long. To be fair, so are RPGs.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:09 PM on February 3, 2006

If I had passed this wizard, I would have certainly helped him. Of course, I can't being that I'm in America and currently incarcerated for walking into peoples' unlocked homes and rifling through their chests, breaking their pots, and sleeping in their beds to restore my hp.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:50 AM on February 4, 2006

Wait, that's a load-bearing boss!
posted by JHarris at 2:10 PM on February 4, 2006

I have a wizard's cloak.

I'll be pulling it out of the closet soon...
posted by craven_morhead at 5:46 PM on February 4, 2006

Yeah, I'm a cheat. I really tried, but those Space Vampires were nasty!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:37 PM on March 1, 2006

I would just start from the ends of the stories that I liked and try to work my way backwards. Lots of place-marking with all fingers. It rarely worked.
posted by unknowncommand at 3:30 PM on March 1, 2006