Second Coming! Reload!
May 31, 2006 9:57 AM   Subscribe

A new video game from the people behind the Left Behind christian themed novels. It's definitely not the typical faire normally seen in christian publishing.
posted by Dr. Twist (49 comments total)
 
It actually looks fun, like GTA set in actual New York. Of course with The Pirate Bay down, it would mean I would have to purchase it and support the company -- which I would never do. I do like the list of places suspiciously including Wall Street, the Village, Harlem and the UN. Capitalists, gays, blacks and the organization which is the scorn of neo-cons and evangelicals everywhere. I have a feeling the controls stink and the gameplay is incredibly limited. Down with secular humanism!
posted by geoff. at 10:03 AM on May 31, 2006


Oh now revisionist art just gets my goat. Mike didn't paint man with his pants on.
posted by geoff. at 10:06 AM on May 31, 2006


It's definitely not the typical faire normally seen in christian publishing.

Cos it's like, vaguely paranoid hate from people who don't knowunderstand the concept of metaphor instead.
posted by Artw at 10:09 AM on May 31, 2006


THis is awesome. Next time Hillary or another of your pesky moral crusaders down there get their panties in a twist over some video game, we can just point to the left behind game, and voila! Debate over!
posted by slatternus at 10:11 AM on May 31, 2006


Holy crap, I can see my old apartment!
posted by saladin at 10:12 AM on May 31, 2006


PS - That coffee shop on the corner of Grand and Centre has devilishly good pancakes.
posted by saladin at 10:13 AM on May 31, 2006


When do you think we'll see the hot coffee mod?
posted by rand at 10:15 AM on May 31, 2006


I'm seeing derivative game mechanics and uninspired art design. That said, assuming anyone even bothers to play this, what's your prediction for the time lapse between official release and the first nude mods?
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:17 AM on May 31, 2006


Jinx, rand.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:17 AM on May 31, 2006


@interrobang: First down! Move those markers!

@dios: pwned! Hypocrisy never looks pretty.
posted by illiad at 10:22 AM on May 31, 2006


Doesn't this shit ever get old?

Agreed. Almost two thousand years, and no new god!
posted by joe lisboa at 10:24 AM on May 31, 2006


...assuming anyone even bothers to play this...

You're joking, right?
The books have more than doubled both the profits and staff of Tyndale House Publishers (Wheaton, Illinois). More than 65 million copies have been sold (over 75 million counting the graphic novels and children's versions), generating more than 650 million dollars in sales since first published in 1995. Twelve volumes are now in print.
posted by mondo dentro at 10:25 AM on May 31, 2006


Better get the nanny-staters out in force. It's another smoker drug-user rap song video game. Somebody call Hillary.
posted by i_am_a_Jedi at 10:25 AM on May 31, 2006


Doesn't this shit ever get old?

Not for me. The antics of US fundamentalist Christians are a never-ending source of amusement and entertainment.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:27 AM on May 31, 2006


I'm adding nothing useful here.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:28 AM on May 31, 2006


Yea, but think about how amazing this game would be on Nintendo's Wii.
posted by Juggermatt at 10:28 AM on May 31, 2006


I hope the AntiChrist side has necromancers.
posted by Kronoss at 10:28 AM on May 31, 2006


saladin: "Holy crap"

Sounds about right.

Jeeze on a stick, you guys gots some scary peoples over there.
posted by Drexen at 10:28 AM on May 31, 2006


Yeah, somehow I don't see this working.

PATCH HISTORY

1.01:
- Prayer recharge time lowered by 10%
- Tribulation Force ammo reload time decreased by 20%
- Explosive bullets added to Tribulation Force arsenal
- Explosive bullets removed from U.N. Community Peacekeeper arsenal

1.02:
- Angel respawn rate increased by 15%
- Nicolae Carpathia's hit points reduced to 12.
- Prayer Warrior Heavenly Omnisword ability added.
- Demonic Brute Defend Self ability removed.

1.03:
- Tribulation Special Forces Headshot Snipe ability now accessible in level 1.
- Auto-lag for U.N. Community Peacekeeper forces implemented.

1.04:
- Ultimate Level Prayer Warriors now immune to damage, auto-receive "God mode."
posted by furiousthought at 10:29 AM on May 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


It actually looks fun, like GTA set in actual New York.

Sadly, despite the way the screenshot in that article portrays it, as far as I'm aware it's a real-time strategy game, more like Command & Conquer or Starcraft or something. It's a sort of lead-the-troops-from-above thing, which surely raises the question - if you're directing the action from a view on high, that rather implies you're playing the Christian god, and surely that's sacreligious or something.

One thing that bears repeating as often as possible, though - you can play as Satan! I'm pretty sure you can play as Satan online, at that. As much as I'd rather chew off a finger than give a penny to the developers of this thing, the idea of an overwhelming number of players using hell's legions crushing the puny forces of hapless Rod and/or Todd-style kids who really believe all this stuff does amuse me.
posted by terpsichoria at 10:29 AM on May 31, 2006


Is there an unlockable "Agnostic" faction we can play? You know, like a team that will have units that can turn all religious units, good or evil, into huge douchebags with a single click?
posted by dopamine at 10:37 AM on May 31, 2006


This game's got nothing on Billy Graham's Bible Blaster (open drawer 'F' then click on Rod Flanders).
posted by Otis at 10:41 AM on May 31, 2006


previously
posted by brevator at 10:42 AM on May 31, 2006


You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state

Well, at least they aren't hiding their agenda...
posted by quin at 10:50 AM on May 31, 2006


damn, missed it when i searched
posted by Dr. Twist at 10:51 AM on May 31, 2006


Kotaku said that, while not great, it was surprisingly good.
posted by Bugbread at 10:59 AM on May 31, 2006


I'm not going to bitch about this game while defending Grand Theft Auto. It's just a game - and be certain that the talk2action write-up is hideously inaccurate. Ugh.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:00 AM on May 31, 2006


"You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state"

quin : "Well, at least they aren't hiding their agenda..."

That's not a quote from the publishers, though, so it should probably be taken with a grain of salt. A small grain of salt, perhaps, but a grain of salt.
posted by Bugbread at 11:03 AM on May 31, 2006


You're joking, right?

By "anyone" I meant "anyone who matters."
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:08 AM on May 31, 2006


Also, considering that the CEO of the company producing the game is quoted on the front page of his site saying "It was an honor to meet Mel Gibson and to appreciate his greatest work, 'The Passion of the Christ'. We recommend everyone see this remarkable, moving film", I'm having a hard time believing that the mission of the game is to convert or kill Catholics.
posted by Bugbread at 11:11 AM on May 31, 2006


geoff. writes 'Of course with The Pirate Bay down, it would mean I would have to purchase it and support the company'

Two words: torrent & scan.
Actually, it's one word.
posted by signal at 11:12 AM on May 31, 2006


And, dios, I think your trigger finger is getting itchy. While, of course, the discussion here will follow the usual set paths, Dr. Twist's post itself is phrased fairly nonabrasively, and it's a subject which is unusual, is different from the usual MeFi fundiefilter, and is being picked up and discussed on non-political sites. Most fundiefilter is "Look at this typical crazy thing the fundies are doing". This is "Look at this really really atypical thing the fundies are doing".

Also, the release of this game has pissed of Jack Thompson, and that's always a plus in my own personal book of plusses.
posted by Bugbread at 11:15 AM on May 31, 2006


geoff. : "Of course with The Pirate Bay down"

!!!

Man, now I wonder if I'm ever going to get that tshirt I ordered.
posted by Bugbread at 11:17 AM on May 31, 2006


I'm not going to bitch about this game while defending Grand Theft Auto.

I am. I have exactly the same problem with this that I do with something like America's Army, and it isn't the violence in either game.

In both cases said problem is only serious enough to warrant mockery and derision rather than righteous indignation, of course.
posted by terpsichoria at 11:19 AM on May 31, 2006


dopamine : "Is there an unlockable 'Agnostic' faction we can play? You know, like a team that will have units that can turn all religious units, good or evil, into huge douchebags with a single click?"

Some Agnostic Faction weapons:
a) Laugh of Death: A laugh that spreads through the enemy troops, unconverting and making them into new agnostic troops
b) Sword of Reason: A sword that cuts through all crap, killing the Good and Evil troops alike. Everytime it is used one can hear John Wayne's voice saying "Kill them all and let God sort them out", followed by a roar of laughter.
c) Educational Onslaught: Magnifies and reach and effect of the Sword of Reason - when used in Battle Mode it can also turn converts into agnostics by a small chance.
d) Apple of Eris: a psychological bomb that makes all Good and Evil forces in the screen turn into each other and fight to death among themselves while ignoring you. If used in Heaven or Hell causes all Good and Evil forces to meet in the plains of Armageddon and fight until no one is left (those left alive in the end on one side or other kill themselves in disgust of what they have just done and seem).
posted by nkyad at 11:25 AM on May 31, 2006


Where did they recruit the coders for this game...?
posted by randomination at 11:31 AM on May 31, 2006


im in ur bse cnvrtn all ur d00ds
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:36 AM on May 31, 2006


Bart: Ooh, full conversion!

Rod: No, you just winged him and made him a Unitarian.
posted by kimota at 11:42 AM on May 31, 2006


That is a remarkably clean New York City they have there. Though, if they have large areas of the city to the level of detail that includes Saladin's apartment and the coffee shop near it, I might bittorrent it just to see that.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 11:47 AM on May 31, 2006


Where did they recruit the coders for this game...?

That's a very good point... it might be worth checking out just to hunt for all the easter eggs.
posted by gurple at 11:50 AM on May 31, 2006


I'm having a hard time believing that the mission of the game is to convert or kill Catholics.

How many dern Papists have served as President of the United States? It seems that many fundie Christian sects believe Catholics serve Satan, who comes to the world cleverly disguised as the Pope. Catholics are just too ethnic, too, as any New England WASP can tell you...
posted by solipse at 11:56 AM on May 31, 2006


"Pastoral networks?" Well, it got Bush the Presidency.

I'm not buying the Jack Thompson line. Err, why should anyone want his batshit insane approval? That's like saying "even Charles Manson hates Jefferey Dalmer." Charles Manson also hates the invisible elves under his prison cot.
posted by skallas at 12:34 PM on May 31, 2006


Catholics serve Satan

I was going to post an image of the new evil-looking pope, but there were too many to choose from!
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:42 PM on May 31, 2006


Does the Prayer Warrior Heavenly Omnisword vibrate? And does it grant +5 sex appeal, or only +10 stupid?
posted by nlindstrom at 3:07 PM on May 31, 2006


I was looking at this the other day, a facinating look at the Left Behind series from a liberal Christian viewpoint. The author claims that L.B. is actually heretical and deeply anti-christian, as well as being offensive to normal morals.

It's a really intresting read, in blog format so you have to scroll down and then read from the bottom up. But it's really intresting (and funny).
posted by delmoi at 3:26 PM on May 31, 2006


Who cares what "liberal Christians" think? When the end times come Jesus will disintegrate them with his laser eyes.
posted by Artw at 3:35 PM on May 31, 2006


Right on, furiousthought- I think their patch notes will be amusing as well.

I will probably buy it when it hits the bargain bin to play the "other side" online.
posted by sciatica at 3:46 PM on May 31, 2006


i was about to preorder but it turns out the rapture happens in five days on 06.06.06. so never mind.

any body want to join me for a pre-rapture party next monday night? i'll be hosting it in my rumpus room , and be serving ginger ale and lemon squares. rsvp.
posted by nola at 4:21 PM on May 31, 2006


im in ur bse cnvrtn all ur d00ds

OMG fag u cmping PWHOre!1~ SO GHEY!
posted by loquacious at 8:36 PM on May 31, 2006


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