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June 2, 2006 9:19 PM   Subscribe

Wanna start a war? eBay has got you covered! According to Google's "sponsored links", eBay is ready to sell you plutonium, thorium, U-235, nerve gas, plastic explosive, white phosphorous, main battle tanks, spies, and flame throwers. Whatever you're looking for you can get it on eBay, it tells me.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste (32 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: this is just google searches, couldn't you put this on youtube or something?



 
Which makes me wonder. Does eBay get charged for those ads if I don't click through? And if so, when does the lawsuit get filed?
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 9:19 PM on June 2, 2006


Yeah. I'm not clicking on any of those. I really don't want/need that in my search history.
posted by loquacious at 9:21 PM on June 2, 2006


Let's start a war. Let's start a nuclear war.
posted by blacklite at 9:22 PM on June 2, 2006


You might be visiting EBay a lot more often than I do. The only ads I saw for any of the items listed were for nerve gas and flame throwers, and neither ad was for EBay.
posted by solid-one-love at 9:23 PM on June 2, 2006


What the heck, so Ebay obviously picks up the excess ad inventory on Google.

Big effing deal.
posted by bitdamaged at 9:24 PM on June 2, 2006


Gabba Gabba Hey
posted by bitdamaged at 9:28 PM on June 2, 2006


loquacious writes "Yeah. I'm not clicking on any of those."

Steven C. Den Beste writes "Which makes me wonder. Does eBay get charged for those ads if I don't click through?"

If you had clicked through, you would see that each of the ads takes you to an eBay search resulting in items that are appropriate to the keyword: Penny Plutonium figurines, a steel sink model number U235, a 1:35 scale model of a battle tank, a book on the cold war history of nerve gas....

Other than the fact that the ads contain humorous wording, I don't see why this is a problem.
posted by mr_roboto at 9:31 PM on June 2, 2006


Let's Have a War

There's so many of us,
So many of us,
So many, there's so many, there's so many

Let's have a war
So you can go and die!
Let's have a war!
We could all use the money!
Let's have a war!
We need the space!
Let's have a war!
Clean out this place!

It already started in the city!
Suburbia will be just as easy!

Let's have a war!
Jack up the Dow Jones!
Let's have a war!
It can start in New Jersey!
Let's have a war!
Blame it on the middle-class!
Let's have a war!
We're like rats in a cage!

It already started in the city!
Suburbia will be just as easy!

Let's have a war!
Sell the rights to the networks!
Let's have a war!
Let our wallets get fat like last time!
Let's have a war!
Give guns to the queers!
Let's have a war!
The enemy's within!

It already started in the city!
Suburbia will be just as easy!

posted by edgeways at 9:32 PM on June 2, 2006


I don't see any of those ads. That is because I use CustomizeGoogle to remove them (as well as click tracking links and a bunch of other options.)
posted by Rhomboid at 9:35 PM on June 2, 2006


eBay Flame Thrower, $39 - Buy it now
posted by caddis at 9:35 PM on June 2, 2006


A post consisting entirely of google searches? Dear god no.
posted by puke & cry at 9:36 PM on June 2, 2006 [1 favorite]


very unimpressive link. Maybe if you actually links to any of the above items for sell on ebay, that would have been interesting. I'm with bitdamaged...big effen deal.
posted by nickerbocker at 9:37 PM on June 2, 2006


eBay Flame Thrower for big boys who love their toys
posted by caddis at 9:37 PM on June 2, 2006


a steel sink model number U235

That's an unfortunate model number for damn near any product.
posted by Ryvar at 9:38 PM on June 2, 2006


unless it is for an electric guitar
posted by caddis at 9:40 PM on June 2, 2006


Deluxe U238 model
posted by caddis at 9:41 PM on June 2, 2006


plutonium - Duke Nukem Plutonium, Doc Brown's Plutonium Case Prop
thorium- Rare Leitz/Leica Thorium 50mm lens, Cyrtolite Thorium Mineral Sample (appears to be a gift shop item)
U-235 - lots of products that have "U.S." and "#235" in the description
Nerve Gas - Cassidy's Run: The Secret Spy War over Nerve Gas (book, many copies)
Plastic Explosive - Kerrang Plastic Explosive 1 flexi BANG1 M 1990 flexi, w (apears to be a vinyl record)
White Phosphorous - Inert WW2 Grenade Body
Main Battle Tanks- lots of model kits
Spies - movies, music, novels, etc.
Flame Throwers - Baseball cards
posted by b1tr0t at 9:42 PM on June 2, 2006


Or a bass amp, yeah. Good call.
posted by Ryvar at 9:42 PM on June 2, 2006


You can't have a proper war without landmines or hand grenades...
posted by blaneyphoto at 9:46 PM on June 2, 2006


puke & cry writes " A post consisting entirely of google searches? Dear god no."


Look at the bright side, as the index changes over time, it might qualify for 'Best o teh Web' one day. But not today.
posted by IronLizard at 9:52 PM on June 2, 2006


I liked it. You all are a bunch of Negative Nancies lately.
posted by MrZero at 10:20 PM on June 2, 2006


Steven C:

Congratulations. By thinking like the world's greatest, you have unlocked a wealth of incredible opportunities.

Come inside and see a category of items only available on... eBay Platinum Reserve!

Dude, forget "thorium" - it's the head of Keith Moon!
posted by soyjoy at 10:23 PM on June 2, 2006


Who needs e-bay, buy from the source and save.
posted by Tenuki at 10:30 PM on June 2, 2006


death rays and ice nine available too!
posted by pyramid termite at 10:52 PM on June 2, 2006


Zyklon B
posted by Kickstart70 at 10:58 PM on June 2, 2006


judging from his comments elsewhere on MeFi, Steven den Beste is just fishing for what he would call "left-leaning" people on Metafilter who also happen to be dumb enough to click on one of his links to weapons auctions on Ebay, making themselves suitable candidates for future NSA or other Homeland Security investigations into domestic terrorist activities on teh Internets. (I'd like to think I'm being paranoid, but alas, who can tell anymore?) BTW, nice german-sounding name you've given yourself there, Herr Beste. too bad you'll never be a real german, much less a real superman. wie traurig!

normally, I limit myself to discussing the topics and issues at hand in these fpps, but since this fpp doesn't really seem to address any particular issues or topics, I don't see how I had any other choice than to go ad hominem.

(wait--don't tell me you're gonna get mad now, little superman?)
posted by all-seeing eye dog at 11:00 PM on June 2, 2006


Around 1807, the French conquered the Netherlands. At the time, commoners there didn't have surnames; only the rich and the nobility did.

But that made it hard to keep track of everyone, so as to tax them properly. Napoleon was big on taxing the provinces for the privilege of being occupied by the French, because he wanted to keep taxes back in France low. So the French ordered everyone in the Netherlands to come in and formally register for the census, and if they didn't have any surname they had to pick one.

Well, of all the stupid ideas! They can force us to do this, but they can't force us to take the idea seriously! So a lot of people were smartasses and pickd really ridiculous surnames as a way of expressing their disapproval of the French invaders.

What they didn't expect was that once the French got kicked out again (around 1814) that the Dutch government would decide that having an accurate census (for taxation purposes) really was a good idea, and decide that everyone would be stuck with those surnames.

That's why there are people in the Netherlands are named Poepjes, which means "little pieces of shit" in Dutch.

My patrilineal ancestor, who lived in Friesland at the time, was also a smartass but at least he had better taste. The name he chose means "the best" in Dutch. And he was no more serious about it than were the people who chose Poepjes.

I don't have the slightest idea who he was, but I'm rather proud of the guy for being a smartass commoner. Stick it to the man! (and all that)
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 11:19 PM on June 2, 2006 [60 favorites]


* marks soyjoy's comment as "best answer" *
posted by furiousthought at 11:19 PM on June 2, 2006


ebay supports terr.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 11:29 PM on June 2, 2006


so i had you pegged wrong, Steven C. Den Beste--i figured you were like one of those aryan nation kids i knew in high school who played Axis and Allies one too many times on the Axis side. I figured you had just adopted a vaguely teutonic sounding user name as some kind of wish-fulfillment. that's what i get for posting after my bedtime. still, what's up with this fpp? is it just to point out that people claim to sell ridiculous things on eBay, because i kind of figured that had been well established by now...
posted by all-seeing eye dog at 11:40 PM on June 2, 2006


(my ancestors were huguenots, btw, who fled to germany to escape french persecution, but that has nothing to do with whether or not the point of this fpp is to dupe people into suspicious internet behavior, which i trust is nothing more than outrageous paranoia on my part, right?)
posted by all-seeing eye dog at 11:57 PM on June 2, 2006




posted by bukharin at 12:24 AM on June 3, 2006


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