Worth his weight in VB

August 17, 2006 9:37 PM

Advance Australia Fair, written by a Scotsman and performed at the inauguration of the Commonwealth, has never been a hugely popular anthem. The ARU have been boosting Waltzing Matilda (a paean to a thief who got caught, which was considered as an anthem in the 70s but rejected) as a national song for Rugby internationals, while Men At Work's backpacker anthem Land Down Under can be heard almost constantly in bars from Ko Pha Ngan to Earl's Court, and the Chisels' song Khe Sahn gets a better pagerank than the battle it is named for.

But I think Adam Hills may have returned the anthem to relevance with this rendition.
posted by pompomtom (30 comments total)

Hehe, very good. But only a small percentage of the audience here will understand it.

For the Americans, it's probably equivalent to singing the lyrics of Star Spangled Banner to the music of ... Sweet Home Alabama, or perhaps I was made for Lovin You.
posted by Diag at 10:00 PM on August 17, 2006

Advance Australia Fair can also be sung to the tunes of Amazing Grace or the Gilligan's Island theme. There's probably some simple reason for this.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 10:28 PM on August 17, 2006

For once, I'm thankful that the Star Spangled Banner's tune is irregular.
posted by dw at 10:32 PM on August 17, 2006

posted by orthogonality at 10:40 PM on August 17, 2006

liquorice, there was an article in The Age a couple of days ago surmising that the reason I Still Call Australia Home is so poignant is because "it plays — brilliantly because subliminally — on the idea that the one way of being truly Australian (and hence who you are) is to get out of the place." They chuck in a bit of analysis of the popularity of Down Under and Waltzing Matilda too.
posted by andraste at 11:01 PM on August 17, 2006

Are there any national anthems that *don't* suck dead dogs' balls?

Are they not all 19th century effusions of praise for the motherland & affirmations of rationalist-modernist progress & prosperity?

I cannot hear a single one without thinking of those poxy Victorian-era depictions of women in stupid little helmets, with one booby flopping out of a toga, holding a sheaf of wheat or something else equally ridiculous.

It might say something about the Australian character that we tend to say "Fuck that shit! I'm gonna sing about a guy who stole a sheep & then committed suicide instead" Or else just play air guitar & sing "The last train out of Sydney's almost gone" over and over until hoarse, without ever wondering what the hell relevance that has to anything under the sun.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:50 PM on August 17, 2006

In response to the Australian History Summit, Chris Henning wrote this (published in the Herald this morning):

Australians all, let us rejoice
for we are young and free;
We've golden soil and wealth for toil
and loads of histor-ee.
We've fought in wars, tossed out the blacks,
and made a lot of dough.
So don't complain about the past
'Cos no one wants to know.
In joyful strains then let us sing
We just don't want to know.

When gallant Cook from Albion sail'd,
To trace wide oceans o'er,
True British courage bore him on,
Till he landed on our shore.
Then here he raised old England's flag,
The standard of the brave;
Now if you want to criticise
Just keep it to yourself.
In joyful strains then let us sing
We just don't want to know.

Brave men toiled in scorching heat
Our empty plains to cross,
Then pioneers kicked out the blacks
But we don't give a toss.
It's impolite to analyse
the heroes of our past.
So if you can't say something nice,
Stick your head up your arse.
In joyful strains then let us sing
We just don't want to know.

Should poof or whinger speak the truth
and point out what we've done,
Real Australians, spitting chips,
Stand up and belt him one.
Real Australians know the rules,
wherever they may roam:
Awkward facts must stay unsaid
In euphemism's home.
In joyful strains then let us sing
We just don't want to know.
posted by tellurian at 11:55 PM on August 17, 2006

What, no love for the ode to marsupial bondage?
posted by rob511 at 12:08 AM on August 18, 2006

The greatest lines in the Australian national anthem are, of course:

For Those Who've Come Across The Seas
We've Boundless Plains To Share

Someone should remind the Cronulla boys about that one.

Are there any national anthems that *don't* suck dead dogs' balls?

Land of Hope And Glory is kinda heart-stirring. As is La Marseillaise.
posted by Jimbob at 12:16 AM on August 18, 2006

"I Still Call Australia Home" is too much of a QANTAS ad to be the national anthem now.

"Advance Australia Fair" is fairly indicative of Australia's attitude towards multiculturalism. Although we have boundless plains to share, we must also "keep an English soul":

"Shou'd foreign foe e'er sight our coast,
Or dare a foot to land,
We'll rouse to arms like sires of yore
To guard our native strand;
Britannia then shall surely know,
Beyond wide ocean's roll,
Her sons in fair Australia's land
Still keep a English soul.
In joyful strains then let us sing
"Advance Australia fair!"

What about the "I am, you are, we are Australian" song (I think it was written by Bruce Woodley, the Seeker)?
posted by goo at 1:00 AM on August 18, 2006

Are there any national anthems that *don't* suck dead dogs' balls?

I haven't actually heard it, but I don't mind what's being said in East Timor's anthem:

We vanquish colonialism, we cry: down with imperialism!
Free land, free people, no, no no to exploitation.
Let us go forward, united, firm and determined
In the struggle against imperialism, the enemy of people,
until final victory, onward to revolution.
posted by bunglin jones at 1:04 AM on August 18, 2006

What about the "I am, you are, we are Australian" song

Sounds like a verb conjugation excercise. Kind of appropriate for new arrivals with a poor grasp of english, I suppose...
posted by Jimbob at 1:04 AM on August 18, 2006

Now that you've reminded me of the actual lyrics to that song, liquorice, I remember why I detest it. I've never seen a song so filled with Ray Martin's Favourite Cliches. Do we really need to name-drop Ned Kelly and Waltzing Matilda and "aussie battlers" in the national song? \

I tend to prefer the songs that are focused on natural beauty myself. maybe this set to music.

Or the cynic in me would like something more modern.
posted by Jimbob at 1:37 AM on August 18, 2006

Advance Koala Bear.
posted by Wolof at 2:02 AM on August 18, 2006

White Australia's got a black history
that never ceded sovereignty

- Combat Wombat

(cannot find the full lyrics, dammit!)
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:06 AM on August 18, 2006

Jimbob: Share yes, have a gang of Lebanese jerks behave in an offensive manner that prevents us from using the beach? Hell no.

/Deport Bilal Skaife and friends.
posted by theducks at 2:20 AM on August 18, 2006

jerks behave in an offensive manner


posted by Jimbob at 2:53 AM on August 18, 2006

(This is a photo of how privellaged, white aussie males who have had life handed to them on a platter "defend" themselves against the scary Lebanese.)
posted by Jimbob at 2:57 AM on August 18, 2006

Jimbob: yeh, it's ugly. but that scene has more to do with ages-old issues of westies or whatever turning up at cronulla & harassing the locals, and being harassed in return. it has less to do with migration issues than it does with adultescent tribalism.

(disclaimer: ex shire boy, but of immigrant descent)
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:28 AM on August 18, 2006

Man, Sydney's beaches suck, anyway. I don't know what the hassle is.
posted by Jimbob at 3:34 AM on August 18, 2006

Jimbob promises to stop trolling now.
posted by Jimbob at 3:35 AM on August 18, 2006

Actually I agree with you completely UbuRoivas - in reality is does boil down to privellaged middle-class beach guys vs. lower-class guys from the western suburbs. But the end result, as we can see from theduck's brilliant attitude, is racism.

Let's face it. A bunch of guys took a break from beating their girlfriends for an afternoon to go beat up guys who were "disrespecting their women". And who all happened to be "middle eastern in appearance".
posted by Jimbob at 3:43 AM on August 18, 2006

Strange anthem; it seems to be all about "upgrading" and "new codecs" when played on this Mac.
posted by scruss at 4:48 AM on August 18, 2006

Australia2.0
posted by Jimbob at 5:00 AM on August 18, 2006

Personally, I find there are no more stirring words than those by Australia's own "The Wiggles":

Fruit Salad
Yummy Yummy
Fruit Salad
Yummy Yummy

Now THERE'S your national anthem, mates.
posted by briank at 6:36 AM on August 18, 2006

"Are there any national anthems that *don't* suck dead dogs' balls?"

I'm actually a huge fan of Ecuador's national anthem -- largely because it takes all the stuff you were complaining about so completely over the top that it becomes a parody. Seriously, it sounds like a national anthem that Gilbert & Sullivan would have written, only in Spanish. (iTunes music store has a couple versions if you're curious, though neither is as good as the ultra-martial one I always heard played at school and various events in Quito.)
posted by nickmark at 7:29 AM on August 18, 2006 [1 favorite]

nickmark writes "Ecuador's national anthem -- largely because it takes all the stuff you were complaining about so completely over the top that it becomes a parody. Seriously, it sounds like a national anthem that Gilbert & Sullivan"

nickmark's right! Like Arthur Sullivan with a bit of oompah-band thrown in.
posted by orthogonality at 7:52 AM on August 18, 2006

Ooh, thanks for finding that -- that's the really great version I remember! I hadda listen to lesser renditions when celebrating Ecuador's World Cup victories this summer, but never again!
posted by nickmark at 7:59 AM on August 18, 2006

South American anthems are crazy fun.

Thanks for the Fauves Jimbob (and the reply to theducks). I miss Hawkey.
posted by Prince Nez at 11:35 AM on August 18, 2006

I've always thought that we Aussies should change our National Anthem to the highly satirical "Australia" by The Kinks.

Excerpt:
Australia, the chance of a lifetime
Australia, you get what you work for
Nobody has to be any better than what they want to be
Australia, no class distinction
Australia, no drug addiction
Nobodys got a chip on their shoulder
Well surf like they do in the u.s.a.
Well fly down to sydney for our holiday
On sunny christmas day
Australia, australia
No one hesitates at life or beats around the bush in australia
posted by heylight at 8:28 PM on August 18, 2006