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December 4, 2006 8:57 AM   Subscribe

Socialite Rank. At least coming up with a list of who will be first up against the wall during the revolution just got a little easier.
posted by geoff. (32 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
You can bet that if the revolution becomes the hip thing to do, these folks will be on top again. Remember, the leaders of revolutions usually come from the ranks of the targeted classes--Robespierre, and Lenin weren't peasants, but lawyers.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:04 AM on December 4, 2006


It was already easy: The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
posted by Plutor at 9:07 AM on December 4, 2006


I prefer antisocialites myself.
posted by jonmc at 9:11 AM on December 4, 2006


You've come to the right place, then!
posted by tkolar at 9:13 AM on December 4, 2006


Am I supposed to know who these people are? I haven't been living in a cave, either.
posted by grouse at 9:17 AM on December 4, 2006


You can bet that if the revolution becomes the hip thing to do, these folks will be on top again. Remember, the leaders of revolutions usually come from the ranks of the targeted classes--Robespierre, and Lenin weren't peasants, but lawyers.

Ehhhhh, a little too pessimistic there. The leaders usually come from middle-to-upper-middle class backgrounds. Trotsky, for example, came from a family of prosperous farmers. I'd agree with you that genuine peasants don't go on to lead revolutions but having a law degree != ruling class or "socialite."
posted by jason's_planet at 9:18 AM on December 4, 2006


Yeah, second the bourgeoisie. The revolutionaries come from not the established power but that which is gaining. Who knows, maybe years from now, it will be the bloggers or their heirs and heiresses.
posted by The White Hat at 9:21 AM on December 4, 2006


Unfortunately, coming up with any kind of "execution list" won't be that easy. Real socialites shun publicity or media coverge like this. These are all minor league poseur socialites.
posted by wfc123 at 9:32 AM on December 4, 2006


You have to start somewhere! I was going to start with the cast of Wall Street Warriors ... but that's like shooting fish in a barrel (no pun intended).
posted by geoff. at 9:35 AM on December 4, 2006


Real socialites shun publicity or media coverge like this. These are all minor league poseur socialites.

Good point. I think the saying (among that crowd) is that your name should appear in the papers three times: when you are born, when you are married and when you die.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:37 AM on December 4, 2006


Blecchh ... God, one of the sickest, saddest things about our culture is how much attention these vapid, privileged, asinine wastes of skin receive. The way plebes are encouraged to fawn over these folks is disgusting. Like reading about them in a gossip or lifestyle magazine makes them your friend in some bizarre, tangential fashion - look at the cover of US or People, and how the celebrities are referred to by their first names only. As if the latest to take place in "Brad" or "Jen" or "Baby Suri's" life has any bearing on your own!

Worship of actors and signers is bad enough - but these folks who are famous for being famous? Is talent out of fashion now, too? Can't we just go back to calling these self-absorbed bastards "nobles" and be done with it?

*pant, pant, wheeze*

So sorry.
posted by EatTheWeak at 9:44 AM on December 4, 2006


Unfortunately, coming up with any kind of "execution list" won't be that easy.

Well, it depends on the granularity you are aiming at. Hell, if you took a database like opensecrets and cross-referenced it with IRS and State DMV (one assumes that if you at the point where you can do this sort of thing, you have already secured control of the government and its records) files and then divided it geographically, you'd probably have a good enough list of names, pictures,and addresses for your death squads to at least get a good start.

What you would really want, though, is the donor lists for whatever political party you are looking to eliminate--that would be pure gold.
posted by Chrischris at 9:51 AM on December 4, 2006


Why does every one of the group photos on that page look like they've cut-and-pasted different (and slightly larger) heads onto each of the bodies?

Have the socialites themselves actually pasted different and slightly larger heads onto their bodies? Is that the new botox?
posted by ook at 9:54 AM on December 4, 2006


I've never heard of any of them save Ivanka Trump and I've only heard of her because of her father. I must not be hanging out with the thin and rich crowd.

I remember when it was enough to be rich, now the rich want to be famous for being rich too. Its like rubbing our faces in the fact that they don't have to do a damned thing with their lives except pose awkwardly for photos and stay as thin as a rail (but I'm sure the coke and cigarettes help with that alot).
posted by fenriq at 10:13 AM on December 4, 2006


I'm designated a socialator. It's an honorable profession practiced with the blessings ofthe elders for over 4,000 years.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:14 AM on December 4, 2006


I recently had a dream where I made Tinsley Mortimer cry. I first thought it was in retaliation at how annoying it was that I'd keep seeing her pop up or mentioned as if she really was some kind of celebrity of merit, but then I realized it was actually sad that I knew who the hell she was to begin with and that I even had a dream with her in it.
posted by kkokkodalk at 10:51 AM on December 4, 2006


Idono, these are some busted-looking bitches.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 11:19 AM on December 4, 2006


I'm looking at my own personal version of hell when I look at those photos
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 11:23 AM on December 4, 2006


Plutor: Funny you should mention that. I first read that in HHGTTG when I was around 8, and had no idea what it meant. I then heard it in Radiohead's Paranoid Android at 14, and still had no idea what it meant.

I just figured it out this year at 23 :P

Hmm, I wonder if this would make a good ask mefi question...
posted by kdar at 11:46 AM on December 4, 2006


I say old man, could you pass the Ak-47?
posted by aiq at 11:55 AM on December 4, 2006


SocialITE?!?! I thought you said you were a socialIST!!
That's it. No second date for you.
posted by Floydd at 12:52 PM on December 4, 2006 [1 favorite]


Can someone please clue me in: Who are these people?
posted by sour cream at 12:58 PM on December 4, 2006


I can sort of guess who some of them are based on the last names. There are some Hearsts in there who are presumably, you know, Hearsts. Also, an Al Fayed that I'm guessing is related to the Harrods-owning, movie-producing, Diana-dating Al Fayeds. The only one of them I've actually heard of directly, though, is Ivanka Trump.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:13 PM on December 4, 2006


There are some Hearsts in there who are presumably, you know, Hearsts.

Where are these guys when ya need 'em, huh?
posted by jonmc at 1:21 PM on December 4, 2006


Celerie Kemble and Boykin Curry are real names? Of people? They sound like party snacks.
posted by pracowity at 1:46 PM on December 4, 2006 [1 favorite]


I have never heard of Tinsly Mortimer before, but she has the "style" of a grandmother.
posted by pwedza at 2:02 PM on December 4, 2006


Inbreeding — it's not just for Appalachia anymore.
posted by rob511 at 2:39 PM on December 4, 2006


rats. I thought this was going to be a nother post about Paris, Lindsay, and Britney not wearing underpants and pictures thereof.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 3:17 PM on December 4, 2006


"The people who own the country ought to govern it." - direct quote from one of the US founding fathers - John Jay, ancestor of Tinsley Mortimer.

All men are created equal my arse.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 5:21 PM on December 4, 2006


The statement that "all men are created equal" presents a simple fact. People who draw entire proposed social systems out of it do so at their own peril.
posted by tkolar at 5:40 PM on December 4, 2006


I'm just shoked that there is someone named Celery who's coupled with someone named Boinking. (see couples of the year)
posted by Pollomacho at 5:49 PM on December 4, 2006


Wow, I'm VERY glad that I only recognized two names on that page... Will Smith and Courtney Love...

I'm so proud :-D
posted by hatsix at 2:06 PM on December 5, 2006


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