Morrissey (questionable?)
January 27, 2007 9:21 AM   Subscribe

Wondering if the music you listen to is "safe"? Here's an interesting (and somewhat mind-boggling) list of bands to watch out for. Not sure what their criteria is for inclusion on either list, but with Morrissey being "questionable," Cindy Lauper being on the "safe" list, and Oscar Wilde being quoted as a "reformed homosexual," the whole thing is a bit of a puzzlement.
posted by doplgangr (35 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: double



 
Doupplr.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 9:28 AM on January 27, 2007


Speaking of double, Elton John is on there twice.
The second time he's really gay.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:30 AM on January 27, 2007


Bewildering.

Sufjan Stevens, Wilco and Frank Sinatra. HA!

Just start making band names up (eg: The Flaming Homo Lips..) and submit them. Personally I would feel honored to be black listed by these fundie fools.
posted by Skygazer at 9:31 AM on January 27, 2007


Merzbau

Awesome. A "band" with absolutely zero lyrics, zip, zilch. I guess it's the album names and album covers that are the danger.

On the other hand, I'm fucking impressed that they know of Merzbow, even if they misspell the name.

Eminmen

I think he's just on the gay list because they misspelled his name.
posted by Bugbread at 9:32 AM on January 27, 2007


Merzbau? Maybe they mean Merzbow? And... if so, what?
posted by vernondalhart at 9:32 AM on January 27, 2007


Oh, wait, I take that back. There is one Merzbow song with lyrics, off a Christmas album. The lyrics are:
Silent night, Holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Oh, yeah, the gay is strong there.
posted by Bugbread at 9:34 AM on January 27, 2007


They called George Michael out for being a Texan. And I agree. Being a Texan is totally gay.
posted by brain cloud at 9:35 AM on January 27, 2007


The Nuge is on the list for (loincloth).

The Nuge just can't win.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:44 AM on January 27, 2007


Ted Nugent (loincloth). I didn't know puking was part of catching teh ghey.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:45 AM on January 27, 2007


Wait. This a double. Do away with it, please.
posted by mongonikol at 9:49 AM on January 27, 2007


The Village People?

Yep they are on the cutting edge of culture. Make sure your kids don't get sucked in to the Village People.

(and since it's a double...)

The Village People?

Yep they are on the cutting edge of culture. Make sure your kids don't get sucked in to the Village People.
posted by The Deej at 9:50 AM on January 27, 2007


Wait. Are all these artists eaters of teh gay-inducing soy?
posted by mongonikol at 9:52 AM on January 27, 2007


With all the bands there I grew up listening to, it's a miracle that I turned out straight I tells ya.

And poor Clay Aiken. There goes his fanbase.
posted by papercake at 9:53 AM on January 27, 2007


Plo chops!
posted by sharpener at 9:53 AM on January 27, 2007


Eminmen

Oh, ya, the big hit: "Who Let the Slim Shady Out?"
posted by The Deej at 9:55 AM on January 27, 2007


it's more of a triple.
posted by kolophon at 9:55 AM on January 27, 2007


At least Avenged Sevenfold is safely off the list. Unless the drummer dumps his girlfriend, then they might make it on the list.

That entry for Nickleback may not have anything to do with their sexuality either.
posted by RobbieFal at 9:57 AM on January 27, 2007


Yes. Motorhead made me gay.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:01 AM on January 27, 2007


Morrissey made me not gay.
posted by loquacious at 10:07 AM on January 27, 2007


The list of "safe bands" that you can listen to and not catch teh gay includes Cyndi Lauper.

I haven't laughed this hard in days. Thanks.
posted by pdb at 10:10 AM on January 27, 2007


Ravi Shankar
...what the fuck??
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:13 AM on January 27, 2007


The Grateful Dead (AIDS)

wtf????

Motorhead

i DARE you to say that to lemmy's face
posted by pyramid termite at 10:17 AM on January 27, 2007


And the pastor guy behind this, Donnie Davies, looks like this on his website.

Huh.
Uh huhuhuh. Uhuh.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:18 AM on January 27, 2007


I haven't laughed this hard in days. Thanks.

Indeed.

"Love God's Way has created this powerful tool to let you see some bands and entertainment that is safe for your children."

It's amazing what passes for powerful tools these days.
posted by juiceCake at 10:20 AM on January 27, 2007


This site is, I think and hope, a joke, one of three sites featuring this guy, a "reformed homosexual". The video for a song he sings with his band is embedded in their site here. NSFW, unless your boss is Fred Phelps. Lyrics include the phrase 'God Hates a Fag'.

Also discussed here at The Onion's AV Club and here by Dan Savage on The Stranger's blog.
posted by cilantro at 10:20 AM on January 27, 2007


"Ted Nugent (loincloth)" would be a great name for a sock-puppet.
posted by brundlefly at 10:22 AM on January 27, 2007


This site is, I think and hope, a joke, one of three sites featuring this guy, a "reformed homosexual".

I was just thinking the same thing. Problem is, it's quite possible it isn't a joke. It's hilarious and horrific at the same time!
posted by juiceCake at 10:24 AM on January 27, 2007


more of the same oppressive crap from the religious right.

Why is (AIDS) beside the Grateful Dead? I've searched and found no reference to any of the members ever having the HIV or AIDS.
posted by spish at 10:28 AM on January 27, 2007


The main reason I'm almost sure it's a joke is the lack of an address or phone number for a church - surely if this is a real 'ministry' it would have more contact information than just a Gmail address.
posted by cilantro at 10:32 AM on January 27, 2007


Dresden Dolls is safe? That's just wrong.
posted by fungible at 10:33 AM on January 27, 2007


Why is (AIDS) beside the Grateful Dead?

Uh, duh?

Grateful Dead == Hippie
Hippie == long hair on men
long hair on men == teh gay
teh gay == AIDS
posted by brain cloud at 10:34 AM on January 27, 2007


The Grateful Dead (AIDS)

Say what?!?
posted by rollbiz at 10:34 AM on January 27, 2007


And the pastor guy behind this, Donnie Davies, looks like this on his website.

From the jpg filename he is a self declared top. So I guess to make the list you have to be a bottom.
posted by srboisvert at 10:35 AM on January 27, 2007


And this reminds me a lot of that sample from the 80s congressional hearings on obscene music, where some fundie nut lists the bands he finds offensive. (sampled in Negativland's "Michael Jackson" and Mylo's "Destroy Rock and Rolll")
posted by fungible at 10:38 AM on January 27, 2007


Paging Joseph McCarthy^.

Ur 'Love, god's Way' are Communists. god would come down off the cross herself and bitch slap you for your hate speech. god didn't care what you did in bed and with whom, because all will be forgiven and y'all will go to heaven if'n you repent. Right┬┐


The Doors are mostly dead and the Gossip are great. Where are those Dixie Chicks┬┐ Dang./
I'd email Donnie Davies personally and add him to hist list. Haters.

] It may be a double scoop, but I neglected to visit the bad bands. oops. [/small>
posted by alicesshoe at 10:38 AM on January 27, 2007


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