Rate My Turban
April 10, 2007 10:35 AM   Subscribe

RateMyTurban.com I noticed most Sikhs living outside India have a pretty boring turban life... I wanted to showcase turbans as an art form and try to revive the majestic roots of turbans. -Ash Singh, Founder and Producer. What is a turban? How to tie a turban. [via]
posted by bobobox (39 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
posted by LordSludge at 10:46 AM on April 10, 2007

Ok, the first guy that shoes up is either really lucky or heavily 'shopped. What's your wager?
posted by Firas at 10:49 AM on April 10, 2007

I rated several turbans, going of choice of color, whether there was an actual turban in the picture, turban tieing and originality. I fear though, I may not have high enough Turban standards though, and that the guy with the nicest turban may have been the one I ranked the lowest.

The nice thing about the site though is that the meter starts with OK. It's just so much more pleasant than hot or not.
posted by drezdn at 10:50 AM on April 10, 2007

babies in tiny turbans are adorable.
posted by boo_radley at 10:51 AM on April 10, 2007

And by first guy I mean him, and by 'shoes' I mean 'shows'. See what sleep deprivation does, kids?
posted by Firas at 10:54 AM on April 10, 2007

Wow. I can barely tie my long hair up in any sort of reasonably neat way, and these people are wrapping seven yards of cloth around their heads. I feel very uncoordinated now.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:59 AM on April 10, 2007

You reckon his username "nonfictious" mught be a clue on the 'shopping issue there, Firas? That was far too perfect.
posted by Abiezer at 11:03 AM on April 10, 2007

Superb. I take his word he's over 40.
posted by Abiezer at 11:07 AM on April 10, 2007 [2 favorites]

I heart the baby!

I knew a few Sikhs in college, but never got the nerve up to ask how the guys got their beards to roll up on the sides of their faces. It looked like it hurt.
posted by lysdexic at 11:08 AM on April 10, 2007

The Scots entry wasn't bad, but it was no bunga dastar.
posted by Abiezer at 11:12 AM on April 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Good heavens, a tartan turban. (tartban?) Although for Scotsmen seven yards around the head can't be much of a challenge after nine yards around one's waist.
posted by oneirodynia at 11:21 AM on April 10, 2007

Sikhi Wiki

posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 11:23 AM on April 10, 2007

Kaffiyehs look much easier, except the British kind.
posted by davy at 11:26 AM on April 10, 2007

Congratulations! The following domains are available:
turbanspace.com, turbanoverload.com

posted by bhance at 11:32 AM on April 10, 2007

May ..turba..insdirty ? MYTURBANISDIRTY ? YOUR turban is dirty you m***erf**ker !
posted by elpapacito at 11:37 AM on April 10, 2007

Here's what elpapacito is referring to.

Just doing our bit to help promote tolerance!
posted by John of Michigan at 11:42 AM on April 10, 2007

Here's what elpapacito is referring to.

Just doing our bit to help promote tolerance!
posted by John of Michigan at 11:44 AM on April 10, 2007




posted by John of Michigan at 11:45 AM on April 10, 2007

your favorite band's turbans suck.
posted by facetious at 11:52 AM on April 10, 2007

I love my turbans, but honestly, it's been years and I don't think I could manage the 7-metre one today. The 3-metre, no problem.
posted by dreamsign at 11:59 AM on April 10, 2007

your favorite band's turbans suck.

No they don't.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 12:05 PM on April 10, 2007

your favorite band's turbans suck.

No they don't.

Some people are o.k. with clip-on turbans. But that doesn't make it right.
posted by facetious at 12:32 PM on April 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Seems like a rather time consuming practice. I wonder if anyone makes pre-tied turbans, like pre-tied bow ties?
posted by BlueMetal at 12:33 PM on April 10, 2007

Domain Name turbanr.com is available!

it could be like Famousr except for turbans
posted by bhnyc at 1:55 PM on April 10, 2007

Al: What is the secret to this thing?
Dirk: Just wrap it around your nugget.
Al: What part, here? This?
Dirk: Yeah.
Al: How come yours stays on?
Dirk: Maybe you got a small head.
Al: I don't think so. Someone would have told me.

- Sahara
posted by quin at 4:26 PM on April 10, 2007

posted by LordSludge

The reason I quoted the founder in the body of the post, talking about the beauty and art of turbans, was to explicitly show this was not about LOLs. Sigh.
posted by bobobox at 4:37 PM on April 10, 2007

Is this something you'd need a degree in Turban Planning to understand?
posted by staggernation at 4:45 PM on April 10, 2007 [3 favorites]

Or learn how to make money origami turbans, and when you've got that down, you can move on to the more difficult ones.
posted by p3t3 at 5:02 PM on April 10, 2007

bobobox: This post may be about the beauty of turbans, but Metafilter is so about the righteous outrage... and, on preview, awful puns; Turban Planning... *groans, then favorites*
posted by the other side at 5:51 PM on April 10, 2007

bobobox, I refuse to believe that about any site done in the tradition "hot or not" style. LOLS and rating sites just go together. Sorry.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 6:06 PM on April 10, 2007

I may have jumped the gun. (What [insert clever name here] said -- seriously, "Rate My Turban"???). You seem sincere, though, so I'll retract my lol.
posted by LordSludge at 6:18 PM on April 10, 2007

I know, I know, I get it, rating site and all. Don't worry, I can have a sense of humor while also being sincere. I do love puns and turban planning is really great.
Truth is, I stongly suspected that the first comment would be LOLsomething and was kind of irked to find out I was right.
posted by bobobox at 6:42 PM on April 10, 2007

A nice tight turban in a solid colour always looks good.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:21 PM on April 10, 2007

I hate to be humorless, but my mom still insists that Indians are "ragheads".

Violent hatred against anyone wearing a turban is alive and well. Frankly, it's thriving in America.

Religion of peace, my ass.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:27 PM on April 10, 2007

Your link isn't working for me, Dirigibleman, so I don't know exactly what you're referring to , but from what I've noticed, the "religion of peace" thing is a controversial phrase that's been tossed about lately in reference to Islam. Are you saying that Islam *isn't* a religion of peace, or that it's being attacked, or what? Not trying to be combative, I'm just curious about what you mean.

Anyway, According to Wikipedia, there are some scholars believe that Sikhism includes elements of Islam and Hiduism - but in my experience most people don't seem to realize that it is distinct from either of them. I would definitely say that Sikhism is more distinct from Islam than Christianity or Judaism is distinct from Islam. Sadly, many people in the states (at least in West Tennessee, where I grew up) have never heard of Sikhism and when they see a turban, their first response is something along the lines of 'hey lookit the diaper-head terrorist'. Even my friends from home, who are more open-minded than most and would never be intentionally racist, know little or nothing about Sikhs. It came up in conversation the last time I was home, and two of my best friends thought that Sikhism was a sect of Islam and neither of them had any idea that Sikh men have hair they've grown their entire lives under their turbans. Lots of Sikhs have to deal with this ignorant, confused racism on a pretty regular basis. One of my favorite parts of Spike Lee's movie "Inside Man" deals with this. Not that there's anything at all right about calling an actual Muslim a terrorist, but for Sikhs it has to be doubly annoying to have everyone totally get your religion wrong on top of thinking you're wearing a pile of dynamite under your turban.

One of the Community Support Officers (local policemen) in my neighborhood here in Leeds is a Sikh, and his turban and beard are things of beauty. I hope when I finally give in and make a call about my extremely noisy neighbors, he's the one who comes to check it out so I can get an up-close look.
posted by Wroksie at 3:33 AM on April 11, 2007

There's a Sikh postman round these parts who wears a clear plastic shower cap over his turban when it rains. It always makes me smile.
posted by essexjan at 4:54 AM on April 11, 2007

The best turbanist I've ever encountered was an elderly gent who not only wore a different, immaculately wrapped, pastel-hued turban for each day of the week, but also wore a gilt and bejewelled kirpan at his waist and a waxed moustache at least twelve inches across to match his military bearing. Adherence to religious rules has never looked so cool.

Would it be very offensive to Sikhs if I start sporting the same look when I hit 80?
posted by jack_mo at 6:24 AM on April 11, 2007

Goddammit, this is why we can't have nice things. (That noted, searching for this guy's name and/or the Joilet PD did not lead to any good hits. No confirmation of truthiness, then.)
posted by five fresh fish at 7:32 PM on April 11, 2007

Follow-up on my goddammit.

Turns out the Joilet PD has an officer who beat the living shit out of a Sikh citizen with no good reason. Just went apeshit on shouting racist things, then beat the poor guy to pulp. Five days in the hospital pulp.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:54 PM on April 12, 2007

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