Naked Gun 44 and a Forth
April 10, 2007 1:22 PM   Subscribe

Vickie Lynn Marshall, star of such films as The Hudsucker Proxy, Skyscraper, and Illegal Aliens, sex symbol (nsfw), reality tv star, and defendant in a recent Supreme Court Case, became entangled in a paternity lawsuit after her life was tragically cut short in February of this year. Two men entered the DNA arena, each hoping to gain access to Marshall's late husband's estate. Today, the results of the DNA test was announced. Say what you will about Vickie Lynn Marshall (aka Anna Nicole Smith), you cannot deny her contributions to popular culture. She truly was an American Icon.
posted by Stynxno (22 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: This is one of the most well-constructed unnecessary update-filter slashdot joke retreads I have ever deleted, Stynxno. -- cortex

Oh, man, I was really hoping there'd be a clip-art Anna Nicole Smith in that last link.
posted by papercake at 1:25 PM on April 10, 2007

Oh dear.
posted by roll truck roll at 1:29 PM on April 10, 2007

Hoping to gain access to the estate? Where are you getting this idea? Marshall has living actual heirs who, if I recall, already controlled the majority of his estate even at the time when she married him. What they have been squabbling over all this time really amounts up to table scraps in comparison to the total estate.
posted by phearlez at 1:30 PM on April 10, 2007

or at least she wanted to be.

10 years time, it'll be, oh yeah I think I remember her. She didn't really leave behind anything of lasting quality or do anything terribly new.
posted by edgeways at 1:31 PM on April 10, 2007

Don't bother me until Anne Coutler dies of an overdose.
posted by wendell at 1:32 PM on April 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hopefully she'll be remembered as that guess model with giant breasts. RIP.
posted by chunking express at 1:32 PM on April 10, 2007

It is weird that the 24 hour news networks and entertainment shows haven't covered this story. I suppose that with a war on it just wasn't deemed "newsworthy". Oh well, that is what Metafilter is for: to shed light on topics that the main stream media ignores. Thanks for the post. Lots of material here to digest for the next several days.
posted by ND¢ at 1:34 PM on April 10, 2007 [3 favorites]

Hopefully she'll be remembered as the long-dead mother of a child who grew up to be an honourable and respected member of society.

Good luck, Dannielynn, or whatever name you eventually recieve.
posted by watsondog at 1:36 PM on April 10, 2007

Some of the previous posters seem to be missing the new point here, which is the announcement of the paternity results. Though the estate battle looks like it will be of Jarndyce-like proportions.
posted by exogenous at 1:42 PM on April 10, 2007

She died?
posted by inoculatedcities at 1:43 PM on April 10, 2007

exogenous, I've actually heard it called a 'Jarndycian lawsuit' by some commentators.
posted by watsondog at 1:44 PM on April 10, 2007

Ah, that explains why the flags are at halfmast at my postoffice
posted by Postroad at 1:52 PM on April 10, 2007

Anna Nicole self portrait on ebay

Frenetic bidding war expected to start any minute now!
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:55 PM on April 10, 2007

I hoped the result announced today was going to be "none of the above". That would have been fun, resulting in a huge news-swarm and new hopeful candidates (OJ Simpson) popping out of the woodwork constantly. But alas, 'twas not to be.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 1:58 PM on April 10, 2007

1.7 Mil?
posted by edgeways at 1:59 PM on April 10, 2007

Birkhead? Damn it, I was betting on the evil monkey in the closet.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 2:06 PM on April 10, 2007

posted by 2sheets at 2:07 PM on April 10, 2007

If anyone is interested in what is, to my mind, about the only thing that is interesting in all the years of this hoohah, the SCOTUSBlog linked all the briefs in this case, including the petitioner's brief[pdf].

On page 14 they state that in 1994, when they married, "Howard was 89 years old and one of the wealthiest men in Texas, with assets exceeding $1.6 billion," and that all that money was in a trust that would go to his son E. Pierce Marshall when he died.

They also state that Howard ordered that a new trust be created for Vickie Lynn "consisting of half the appreciation of his assets from the time of their marriage."

Read that carefully. Half the appreciation of his assets. Not half his assets. Not even all of the gains from that point forward. Half.

I don't have an exact date for his death here but it was barely a year, if that, since VL filed in court about his will in August 1995.

Yep, they've been haggling over the interest on 1.6B almost 10 years. If Pierce had just handed over what his dad wanted him to hand over it would be likely less than 10% of 1.6B (assuming the trust earned a very respectable 20% that year), and that's not even out of the 1.6B. He would still have the 1.6B, plus 50% of the earnings on it.

Happily, my parents are still married and seemingly happy with the situation so I never will have to confront this kind of thing. Unhappily, they do not have 1.6B to leave me. However, if that changes - if my mother passes away and my father suddenly comes into that kind of money and lives into his late 80s - I will say this:

If he can find someone Playmate willing to suck on his octogenarian balls for the last year of his life then I will consider it money well spent to give her half the interest on his investments for the remainder of his life, whether it be 1 month or 20 years. It's all yours, honey - spend it and enjoy.
posted by phearlez at 2:08 PM on April 10, 2007

Is this where we are supposed to say "goodnight, funnyman?"
posted by wigu at 2:10 PM on April 10, 2007

This post is put together well , I mean no disrespect but even though it's laid out nice and tagged and spaced correct, this post needs something else I'd say I think you may suspect, this draft of yours is full of whores but you're the worst one yet. j/k I don't think your a whore. Kisses.
posted by nola at 2:18 PM on April 10, 2007

posted by Big_B at 2:19 PM on April 10, 2007

« Older Don't-Buy List   |   Open Sourceware Consortium Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments