im in ur weddin hittin on ur underage sister-in-law while drunk on antifreeze
June 18, 2007 12:45 PM   Subscribe

posted by ninjew at 12:48 PM on June 18, 2007

It's a slippery slope, man. Having robots perform marriage ceremonies looks all cute and high tech, but eventually, it'll require their permission.
posted by Malor at 12:51 PM on June 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:54 PM on June 18, 2007 [2 favorites]

Threatening the sanctity of marriage.
posted by Esoquo at 12:58 PM on June 18, 2007

And here was me expecting a double of the south Korean killing-things robot.
posted by Artw at 12:59 PM on June 18, 2007

Do you take this woman to be your lawfully-wedded wife? YOU HAVE FIFTEEN SECONDS TO COMPLY.
posted by Hlewagast at 1:11 PM on June 18, 2007 [10 favorites]

No ninjew, LOLBOTS...
posted by pupdog at 1:20 PM on June 18, 2007

That's not Johnny Five. Johnny Five had an innocent, childlike heart-warming pluckiness, articulated hands with opposable thumbs and KILLER FUCKING DEATH LASERS.
posted by loquacious at 1:40 PM on June 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Weddings do not make him cry because he has no feelings.
posted by jefbla at 2:32 PM on June 18, 2007

He's moonlighting at Pixar apparently, too.
posted by empath at 3:07 PM on June 18, 2007

"After its marital duties, Tiro ... would be upgraded to perform various other functions"

Once you've got a robot which can perform "marital duties", what more do you need from it?
posted by lostburner at 3:13 PM on June 18, 2007

Maybe in Korean culture, being wedded by the forest spirit or the river spirit is what they really want, and a robot-officiant is a half-step to an animist ideal?
posted by sandking at 3:30 PM on June 18, 2007

Number 5 is alive?
posted by Deep Dish at 3:49 PM on June 18, 2007

Alas, no. No Number 5 in this post. Until now.
posted by Atreides at 4:13 PM on June 18, 2007

CHARLOTTE AMALIE, Virgin Islands - A newlywed South Korean couple were attacked by their robot servant on Saturday. Seok Gyeong-Jae said he was shocked when the robot he design burst through the door of their honeymoon suite bedroom, "Tiro was making a high-pitched screech that I'd never heard before, and seemed to be yelling something like 'NO DISASSEMBLE! NO DISASSEMBLE!'" Seok wrestled the robot into submission with the help of his wife, and after a short re-programming session honeymoon ceremonies continued—albeit with one more participant than expected. "This opens up a whole new market for my design," raved Seok.
posted by carsonb at 7:42 PM on June 18, 2007

You wouldn't let one marry your sister, would you?
posted by Smedleyman at 8:16 PM on June 18, 2007

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