Virtual Studio Visitor
October 1, 2007 9:44 PM   Subscribe

Any experienced studio engineer or producer knows that the presence of visitors in the studio can dramatically affect the performance of singers and musicians. Using advanced proprietary computer modelling, the Virtual Studio Visitor plug-in convincingly emulates the effect of various studio visitors on a performance, without the need for the visitors to actually be present. Also from the visionaries at Sonic Finger: the Dead Quietenator provides you with the highest quality pure digital silence, including several highly sought-after vintage silences previously unattainable.
posted by flapjax at midnite (20 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
Thanks! I'm running my entire mp3 library through the Mary Lou Retton filter just as soon as I receive my license key!
posted by litfit at 9:58 PM on October 1, 2007

I am really curious to hear the VSV, I hope that somehow I missed the samples on that page? Are these different silences created with different inaudible interference patterns or what? I could listen to stuff all day, this is great...
posted by MNDZ at 10:05 PM on October 1, 2007

Someone invented a silence generator?

Presumably right after they invented the dark emitting diode...
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 10:10 PM on October 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

"For this particular vocalist, having Stephen Hawking and Mary Lou Retton in the studio was the perfect combination. The key, though, was having the hatred and fear controls for Hawking set to max, as well as having him be an ex-member of the band. Also, being extremely sexually active with Mary Lou was vital."
posted by krinklyfig at 10:21 PM on October 1, 2007

The Dead Quietinator is for hacks and losers. Serious musicians know that nothing beats the smooth sound of analog.
posted by lekvar at 10:33 PM on October 1, 2007

I think I'm going to forward this link to my drummer so he can spend 45 minutes ripping on the "bullshit digital silence" over at Albini's Electrical Audio.
posted by Ironmouth at 11:01 PM on October 1, 2007

Pull my finger
posted by doctor_negative at 11:07 PM on October 1, 2007

The definitive use of this visitor plug-in is on Lorna Bennett and DJ Scotty's Skank in Bed

Riddim, come forward!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:52 PM on October 1, 2007

Pure Digital Silence.

Is like when the west discovered zero?
posted by From Bklyn at 12:06 AM on October 2, 2007

PeterMcD: Thanks for the Scotty and Lorna Bennett link. That Scotty, he's like an even more playful Big Youth. Fun stuff. Always happy to discover another musical Bennett, too...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:45 AM on October 2, 2007

This is so inside.
posted by wsg at 1:19 AM on October 2, 2007

What if I want Stephen Hawking dressed as a flight attendant?
posted by brundlefly at 2:16 AM on October 2, 2007

What if I want Stephen Hawking dressed as a flight attendant?

I think there's an upgrade coming soon.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:37 AM on October 2, 2007

Yeah, the A-side is great as well. The UB40/Chrissie Hynde cover would be fine if it didn't have to stand comparison with such a classic.

Also, a snatch of Dusty Springfield doing her original version as part of a medley. Starts at 1.29.

But the Scotty/Dub version is pure genius and streets ahead of all the other versions. Takes me back to Liverpool's Somali Social Club in the early 70's, where devout muslim boys would drink coca cola and rub up against enormous white hookers who were twice as old as they were as the juke box played the A-side and B-side in continuous rotation. It was several years later before I heard Dusty's original cut and was astonished to learn that it hadn't been a Jamaican original.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:39 AM on October 2, 2007

Don't laugh. Don't even smile. There are fifty people looking for a Buy Now link with credit card in sweaty hand.
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:53 AM on October 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Awesome! It runs on MacOS 9.2!
posted by adamrice at 7:07 AM on October 2, 2007

I bet the Dead Quietenator sounds great through the Anechoic Room Simulator.
posted by Foosnark at 8:59 AM on October 2, 2007

Wow. Genuine silence is just what I had in mind.
posted by humannaire at 9:07 AM on October 2, 2007

muffler bearings
posted by greenskpr at 2:35 PM on October 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hah, I've got them all beat: I just refurbished my studio monitors with Cones of Silence.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 4:05 PM on October 2, 2007

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