Random Haiku

November 29, 2007 11:41 AM

Intimate in bed
Adoptive iterative
Develop in bed!

[refresh]

Hello my marbles
You have no chance to marble
Make your undoing!
posted by pedantic (67 comments total)

Please let this not become yet another thread full of half-assed haiku.
posted by dersins at 11:44 AM on November 29, 2007

half assed haikus.
You really think you can stop up
think again dersins.
posted by seanyboy at 11:45 AM on November 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

Dersins you beseech
A group of hopeless poets
Try again next time
posted by Mister_A at 11:46 AM on November 29, 2007

I cannot promise
Not to do such things for you
But this time, I will use the wrong number of syllables
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:46 AM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

...bugger...
I didn't do that right at all.
posted by seanyboy at 11:46 AM on November 29, 2007

if it's offensive
don't start moaning in this thread.
flag it and move on
posted by seanyboy at 11:48 AM on November 29, 2007

Metafilter: You
really think you can stop up
is a good tagline.
posted by cortex at 11:49 AM on November 29, 2007

The only winning move is not to play in the first place, seanyboy.
posted by dersins at 11:49 AM on November 29, 2007

hard September rain
the green air feels like apple
anger rewarded
posted by seanyboy at 11:49 AM on November 29, 2007

I suppose one could've guided the post more. So much for happy circumstances in the F5-5-7-5 department.

It's a full dictionary, I understand. Oh well. C'est la vie.
posted by pedantic at 11:53 AM on November 29, 2007

hard September rain
"Cherry Choc'late", certainly?
I've fixed that for you.
posted by cortex at 11:54 AM on November 29, 2007

Is goatse Dutch?
Do you really want to know?
What is dot see ex?
posted by Mister_A at 11:55 AM on November 29, 2007

(And for what it's worth,
Though it could use more templates
The site pleases me.)
posted by cortex at 11:55 AM on November 29, 2007

Random poem script
How fresh and innovative
Best of the web, yes!
posted by splice at 11:57 AM on November 29, 2007

Has it come to this? Even cortex is haiku-ing up a damn storm?
posted by dersins at 11:58 AM on November 29, 2007

Say it in haiku,
dersins or else we'll ignore
your rantings as noise
posted by Mister_A at 12:03 PM on November 29, 2007

I was promised code.
Or so I thought. Was misled.
I still code in bed.
posted by butterstick at 12:04 PM on November 29, 2007

What, Mister_A, are you incapable of counting my syllables?
posted by dersins at 12:07 PM on November 29, 2007

"Hello my marbles"
Inspiration strikes once more
A brand new pet name!
posted by chrominance at 12:08 PM on November 29, 2007

Double-you aitch ay
tee space tee aitch ee space FUCK
space em ay tee tee
posted by cortex at 12:09 PM on November 29, 2007 [4 favorites]

P.S. A relevant thread. Apparently we can't stop, it's happening again.
posted by chrominance at 12:15 PM on November 29, 2007

"A bleary jaeger
Is in your spectacular
Grouping your rupert!"

That's gotta hurt.
posted by Mike D at 12:18 PM on November 29, 2007

Poetry Ninja?
His unibrow-chuks are fierce
His Guile hair...deadly
posted by cashman at 12:35 PM on November 29, 2007

MetaTalk's like this:
Give me forty-two ponies!
Boo to sexism!
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:44 PM on November 29, 2007

A Gaijin Ninja
Japan screams "Oh Noetry"
Girls mob him, desu.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:44 PM on November 29, 2007

How did you come to
have that opinion, dersins?
Why are you still here?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:44 PM on November 29, 2007

Take off every zig
For great justice. All your base
Are belong to us
posted by Horace Rumpole at 12:44 PM on November 29, 2007

It's not poetry
If you just count syllables
You need to have style
posted by rocket88 at 12:47 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Rocket88
On guard, sir. I'll let you try
My syllable style
posted by cashman at 12:55 PM on November 29, 2007

Now marking comments
Which are not in haiku form
With "offensive" flag.
posted by damnthesehumanhands at 12:57 PM on November 29, 2007 [3 favorites]

What is red and green
With syllables seventeen
And moves in circles?
posted by steef at 12:59 PM on November 29, 2007

Well, damnthesehumanhands, that sounds like a great way to devalue flags.
posted by dersins at 1:09 PM on November 29, 2007

Nobody knows, steef
Bring on the punnificent
Haikuish answer
posted by cashman at 1:10 PM on November 29, 2007

poems combined with
OCD. Tourette's poems
would be funnier.
posted by Bernt Pancreas at 1:13 PM on November 29, 2007

Basic Instructions
On how to write a haiku
Also makes me smile.
posted by krazykity16 at 1:16 PM on November 29, 2007

Basho's frog in a blender! Ha! (Apologies to bashos_frog.)
posted by steef at 1:20 PM on November 29, 2007

Dear user dersins,
I am sorry you did not
Find my joke funny.
posted by damnthesehumanhands at 1:27 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Nor you mine, damnthesehumanhands. Do I need to add line breaks for you?
posted by dersins at 1:35 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

One...two... ...seventeen...

Rats!
posted by damnthesehumanhands at 1:39 PM on November 29, 2007

cannot write haiku
too busy washing my hands
oh cee dee -- damn you.
posted by CitizenD at 1:44 PM on November 29, 2007

Please let this not be
come yet another thread full
of half-assed haiku.

this was too subtle
for the quick-to-snark crowd here
dersins wins the thread
posted by vira at 1:45 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Please shut the fuck up.
No, really, shut the fuck up.
I'm not kidding. Fucking stop.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 1:52 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

That's my example of half assed haiku.
*bow*
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 1:53 PM on November 29, 2007

What kind of person
walks into shit on purpose
to protest the smell?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 2:01 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ron Paul! Ron Paul! Yay!
Women's rights don't matter, right?
Ron Paul! Ron Paul! Woo!


posted by SpiffyRob at 2:06 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

I killed the party
With my lib'ral hippie crap
My bad, sorry folks.

Or everyone on the East Coast left work. Either way.

This is also my first realization that I pronounce "liberal" as a two-syllable word. Really makes you think.

But not really.
posted by SpiffyRob at 2:53 PM on November 29, 2007

Here is the random haiku generator I created a million years ago. See also the random poetry generator I created 0.5 million years ago.
posted by _aa_ at 3:05 PM on November 29, 2007

a blue haiku thread
calls for structured poetry
oh, this will wendell
posted by jazon at 3:33 PM on November 29, 2007

I refuse to write
a stilted haiku for you
you sick motherfuck
posted by found missing at 3:43 PM on November 29, 2007

Ok, really now. Must we go through this again? Wasn't once enough?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 4:27 PM on November 29, 2007

A precise textbook
Is in your chronology
Stabbing your goodnight!

The .gif ninja's words
Bring painful truth from chaos
Science classes suck
posted by mayfly wake at 4:41 PM on November 29, 2007

A half assed high coup?
More drug addled donkey fuck,
opting for that Bush.
posted by phoque at 4:50 PM on November 29, 2007

Despite all pretense
I'd rather have a tanga
than compose tanka

Watch me splash in the MeFi
water like a whale with pants
posted by ersatz at 4:56 PM on November 29, 2007

"Hello my marbles"

Hmm? Oh, hello there!
Not sure if I'm yours or not.
Wait, I'm not plural.
posted by marble at 5:06 PM on November 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

Single cheek haiku
not so terribly awesome
but better than none.
posted by majick at 5:35 PM on November 29, 2007

I don't think it counts if you split words with line breaks. Sentences are fine.
posted by chrominance at 5:40 PM on November 29, 2007

(P.P.S. Oopsie. I screwed up that first comment. Ninja poem FAILED.)
posted by chrominance at 5:44 PM on November 29, 2007

I miss the old days
Mefi users wrote old style
In prose, not haiku
posted by googly at 8:00 PM on November 29, 2007

Favorite this one
And I promise I won't try
Writing any more.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:31 PM on November 29, 2007

Roses are red, vi-
'lets are blue. Some poems rhyme,
but this one's haiku.
posted by eritain at 11:01 PM on November 29, 2007

ugh gross and fail. get a syllable, then a moment to describe tia.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:10 PM on November 29, 2007

Half ass? Please not that!
I prefer the complete ass
Smiling up at me.
posted by Goofyy at 12:27 AM on November 30, 2007

Bring the meta-ku!
Feed the beast and make him fat
On these offerings.
posted by algreer at 4:52 AM on November 30, 2007

I guess everybody knows about DaShiv's Haiku Blog?

Er yeah and some guy called Al who looks just like me and shares my name & IP address has a haiku blog as well - journeys by haiku.
posted by algreer at 4:59 AM on November 30, 2007

Yea dersins with the stealth haiku! Yes you do need to add line breaks for my simple mind.
posted by Mister_A at 6:51 AM on November 30, 2007

Dersins does win this. I wonder how much farther we can take haiku.

and

(a haiku for goths)

die my dearest love
you gave me black roses for
our love died today
posted by Sam.Burdick at 7:03 AM on November 30, 2007

Glad you've seen the bright light of my genius, hidden by metafilter.
posted by dersins at 8:23 AM on November 30, 2007