Tell me about the dinosaurs, George.
January 4, 2008 2:32 PM   Subscribe

Some say volcanoes killed them. Some people say an impact. Some say both. Coulda been bugs, actually. Lots of theories, some better than others. Not like it's that uncommon in the grand scheme of things.
posted by absalom (17 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I say it was an impact with a volcano bug. Just before Noah's flood.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:01 PM on January 4, 2008 [2 favorites]

Chuck Norris + time machine. Case closed.

Note: Chuck then used the time machine to transport this comment from 2006, when Chuck Norris jokes were fresh. He is was a wily one.
posted by cortex at 3:33 PM on January 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

If you enjoy this type of speculation, go to the religion section on Yahoo Answers. Witness a fundie posting that God buried those dinosaur bones as part of his plan to test faith, an elaborate hoax if you will. Oh yea.
posted by 45moore45 at 3:41 PM on January 4, 2008

Is it getting heavier in here, or is it just me?
posted by hermitosis at 3:46 PM on January 4, 2008

The Gary Larson reason.
posted by Mblue at 4:06 PM on January 4, 2008

The odds are looking better for the asteroid that is threatening to almost hit Mars. Meanwhile, back at the swamp, the frog killing fungus is besting expectations and keying on a move into tree frogs and the smart money is on the mosquitoes. Of course the rats and the cockroaches also always offer a nice investitudeic stratagem.
posted by Huplescat at 4:39 PM on January 4, 2008

Some say Jesus rode them.
posted by Poolio at 4:40 PM on January 4, 2008 [3 favorites]

Man, I can not tell you how much I am rooting for that sucker to slam into Mars.
posted by absalom at 4:55 PM on January 4, 2008

Some say Jesus rode them.

Well, that explains how Huckabee came about, doesn't it?
posted by eriko at 5:09 PM on January 4, 2008

Man, I can not tell you how much I am rooting for that sucker to slam into Mars.

I assume your waiting with photography. You have a chance to befriend the world.
posted by Mblue at 5:14 PM on January 4, 2008

Jesus rode hedge fund managers?
posted by Huplescat at 5:28 PM on January 4, 2008

absalom, look no further - it was the monkeys.
posted by madamjujujive at 6:08 PM on January 4, 2008

Alright I admit it, it was me. There is, sorry, was nothing tastier then a bronto burger, and steak a la T rex was to die for! This is why I am, mostly, vegetarian nowadays. Although, considering I eat chicken and other birds I guess I am still eating dinosaurs albeit in a slightly different form. *sob*
posted by edgeways at 6:18 PM on January 4, 2008

Pterodactyls survived the ancient mass extinction, only to be killed and ignominiously photographed by Civil War soldiers.
posted by Tube at 6:34 PM on January 4, 2008 [2 favorites]

No, no, no. The raptors evolved from simple pack hunters to form a complex civilization, beginning with a small, agriculturally based settlement in what is now the Gulf of Mexico. Over the course of a few thousand years, that settlement expanded into worldwide civilization--one marked by several different empires and religions as time passed. Eventually, a young raptor developed a workable theory of gravity and the calculus, and from there the civilization rapidly advanced in technology over the next three hundred years. Unfortunately, the energy source used by the Pangaean civilization--lithium--was mostly concentrated in the same spot as that original civilization. As other sources ran out, tensions grew between the major countries that required the lithium to fuel their way of life.

There were a few small clashes between the powers--mostly border and the occasional proxy war--but as the lithium ran out, the conflict between the countries exploded into a nuclear conflict. For some reason, after the nuclear exchange had ended, a country on what is now Antarctica decided to drop most of its bombs on the Gulf of Mexico area, resulting in the elimination of most of Earth's lithium, as well as the so-called "asteroid crater" that most humans now consider the cause of the dinosaur's demise.

Prove to me this didn't happen.
posted by thecaddy at 8:23 PM on January 4, 2008

Geez, people. Get real! DINOSAURS EVOLVED INTO BIRDS! Am I the ONLY one here who watched Jurassic Park?


You mean Stephen Spielberg would produce a movie that wasn't based on empirical scientific data? Pull the other one!
posted by ZachsMind at 10:12 PM on January 4, 2008

Obviously, this is what happened.
posted by King Bee at 7:19 AM on January 5, 2008

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